Let It Roll
by wintershine
Summary: When Griffin declares that BTR must go on hiatus for a while, the boys must come up with their own resources to keep making music. Can they deal with broken hearts and new feelings in addition to being thrown back into public school? No slash.
1. Never Say Never

**Full Summary: **Gustavo has to leave Rocque Records, so Griffin declares that the boys must go on hiatus, and use their own resources if they want to book shows or release any new music. Of course, this means that they can no longer afford to live at the Palm Woods, so they have to leave and start attending a public school. Meanwhile, Kendall has to deal with mending his broken heart after Jo's departure to New Zealand, and Camille lands a part on a new show, which just might finally make Logan realize what his true feelings for her are.

**A/N: **I anticipate this being a pretty long story. Hopefully I'm not being too ambitious with this, but we'll see how it goes. Please let me know what you think!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: Never Say Never<strong>

Logan watched as Camille wrung her hands nervously and checked her phone for what had to be the forty-second time in the last ten minutes. Not that he was counting.

"You need to relax," he told her. "Making yourself sick with worry isn't going to make your phone ring any faster."

"I know," Camille sighed. "I just really want this part! I worked so hard to—" She stopped mid-sentence, momentarily distracted. James and Carlos zoomed by—James running, holding onto to one end of a jump rope, Carlos on his skateboard, being pulled along. James came to a sudden stop near the edge of the pool and gave the rope one last tug before letting go, sending Carlos flying into the deep end, splashing water all over Kendall, who was napping nearby in his favorite lounge chair.

As Kendall spluttered awake, Carlos resurfaced yelling, "That was awesome!"

Logan rolled his eyes and turned back to Camille, who was already checking her phone again. "Don't make me confiscate that, Camille," Logan said, playfully reaching to tug the phone out of her hands.

Camille laughed. "You wouldn't dare," she responded, trying to snatch it back from Logan. As she did so, she was startled by the sudden ringing and dropped it to the ground. She stared down at it. "Oh my God," she said. "Oh my God, it's my agent." She still hadn't moved.

"Answer it!" Logan prodded her.

Coming to her senses, Camille stooped to retrieve the phone and answer her call. "Hello? Hey Amanda… No, I'm not busy… Okay… Is it good news? It is? Oh my God, are you serious?... Oh my God! Thanks so much, Amanda!... Okay… Okay… Yeah, that's fine… Got it! Thanks again! Bye." The small girl finally looked up to see all four boys grinning at her. It didn't take a genius to deduce the good news.

"I got the part!" Camille exclaimed as all four boys enveloped her in a group hug.

"Congratulations!"

"That's so awesome!"

"I knew you'd get it," Logan said.

"Thanks," she said, blushing both from all the excitement and the attention. "I gotta go have dinner with my dad and then call my mom and email Jo. Can we hang out later though?" All four boys were still standing in front of her, but she was clearly speaking directly to Logan.

James, Carlos, and Kendall shuffled away quietly to try to give the on-again, off-again pair a little privacy. They happened to be off at the moment, but with those two, who knew how long _that _would last.

Logan smiled nervously. "Sure. I'll come by your apartment around eight o'clock. We can go for a walk or something."

"Cool. See you then."

* * *

><p>Back at the apartment, Kendall had gone straight into his and Logan's room and shut the door. The other three boys looked sympathetically after him.<p>

"Poor guy," Carlos said, shaking his head sadly.

"We've gotta do something to get him out of this funk," James said.

"Like what?" Logan asked. "It's been almost two months, and the mere mention of Jo's name still sends him into a spiral of despair."

"Well you know what they say," James said. "The best way to get over someone is to—"

"Eat a lot of ice cream?" Carlos finished.

"Focus on your school work?" Logan tried.

James rolled his eyes. "Uh, no, and definitely not. The best way to get _over_ someone is to get _under _someone else. If you catch my drift."

Logan threw a pillow at James' head. "Perv," he said, while Carlos snickered. "Besides, I don't think Kendall even wants a new girlfriend. He's not ready."

"Who said anything about a girlfriend? This is LA, he's single, he's in a band, and he has a ton of female fans who would do _anything _for a chance to be with him... You're the genius, you do the math."

"Uh, I'd rather not," Logan replied. "I just think he needs time to really get over Jo. He can't do that by hooking up with random girls."

James shrugged. "Never know until you try," he grinned.

"How would you know, James?" Carlos teased. "Last I checked you were still as virginal as the rest of us, even with all those adoring female fans."

"Pfft, can we leave the status of my virginity out of this, please?" James said, throwing the pillow he'd caught from Logan at Carlos.

"Hey, you brought it up."

"Brought what up?"

The boys turned to see that Katie Knight had walked into the room. Not wanting her to hear where their conversation was heading, Logan replied, "Oh, uh, we were just trying to figure out if there was anything we could do to cheer up Kendall."

Katie frowned. She'd been trying for weeks to get her big brother to cheer up, but nothing she said shook him out of it. She'd even gone so far as to ask Mrs. Knight what they should do. "He just needs time." She went and squeezed in on the couch, sitting between Logan and James.

Kendall stayed in his room until dinner time. He still looked kind of bummed out, but no one said anything about it, and he acted as if nothing had happened. Mrs. Knight reminded the boys not to stay up too late, as they had to be at the studio by 8 am the next day to meet with a new choreographer. All four boys groaned. They knew that 'meeting with a new choreographer' was code for 'hours upon hours of dance rehearsal.'

After dinner, it was Logan and Kendall's turn to clean up and wash the dishes. Logan turned on the garbage disposal and started filling the sink while Kendall cleared the table. James and Carlos had disappeared, probably to play video games in their room, and Katie (a bit to James' chagrin) was hanging out with her friend Kyle in the lobby.

"So… you okay?" Logan asked.

Kendall didn't need to ask what he was talking about. He paused before answering. "I just miss her. I didn't think it would be this hard."

Logan nodded sympathetically. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you really do need to let her go. You can't get over her if you're still talking to her every morning and emailing her and stalking her Twitter to see what she's up to."

"I know, I know," Kendall sighed. "I need to just let her get on with her life but it's hard knowing that she's out there having the time of her life, and I'm still here in LA working as a struggling boy-band member."

"It's gonna get better, buddy. Now. I gotta go meet Camille. Can I trust you to be alone, or should I call James and Carlos for suicide watch?"

Kendall splashed water at his friend. "I'll be fine, thanks. It's pretty cool that Camille got that part. How are things with you and Miss Roberts, by the way?"

Logan tried to play dumb. "What do you mean?" As he said it, James and Carlos walked into the kitchen and started rummaging through the refrigerator. "I guess her method acting finally paid off."

"Don't give me that. Are you two like, a thing again?" At this, Carlos poked his head out to pay attention.

"Not really. She's sort of seeing that Steve guy. We're just hanging out. As friends." Logan shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "Are you two really searching for more food? We just had dinner, like twenty minutes ago."

"Black Ops takes a lot out of you, okay?" James said. "But back to you. You know this means you're not allowed to be jealous of her potential love interests on the show, right?"

"Psh, jealous? Why would I be jealous?"

"Oh, I don't know," Kendall said. "Maybe because you still totally like her and you guys make out every chance you get."

"What? We do not!"

Carlos and James snorted loudly at this. "Except for that time when Griffin tried to make a reality show about us, and you guys 'pretended' to be totally into all the kissing you 'had' to do," James said, using air quotes for emphasis.

"But you're not into her, right, Logan? Even though she's the coolest girl you've ever met, and even though she definitely still likes you, and even though it's super obvious to everyone but you that you still like her?" Carlos teased.

"Okay, enough, you guys! Camille and I are just friends. We tried dating, remember? It didn't work out so well…" Logan gave a pointed look at James, who squirmed uncomfortably and tried to avoid eye contact. It wasn't that he was still _mad _at James, but still—he had to wonder how things would've gone with Camille if they hadn't kissed, even if it was accidental. The fact remained that he had been cheated on, and that wasn't something he could really take lightly. "She didn't even go to prom with me. Now, are you all done interrogating me, or can I go see my _friend _now?"

"Go on, Logie, but remember not to stay out too late," Kendall teased as Logan headed out the door.

* * *

><p>"Kelly, can you come in here please?" Gustavo called from his office. The two were working late at the studio in preparation for their week of meetings.<p>

Kelly appeared at the door, wearing her normal office attire with a pair of green fuzzy slippers. "What's up?"

"I need you to cancel the boys' meeting with Tyce tomorrow and instead set up a meeting between me and Griffin. Tell the boys they don't have to be here at 8, but they're still on call and need to be ready to come in tomorrow afternoon. After I meet with Griffin, tell them to get here as soon as possible."

Kelly was already typing away on her Blackberry, trying to get a hold of Griffin's assistant to get the meeting set up. "Got it. Is everything okay? Did Tyce cancel on us?"

Gustavo inhaled deeply and rubbed his temples. "No. I—I just got some bad news. I'm going to have to leave Rocque Records."

Kelly gasped, shocked. "What? You can't leave!"

"It's my sister," Gustavo said. "She just called me. She… she's been diagnosed with leukemia. I have to go stay with her in Colorado. She's a single mom..."

"Oh my God," was all Kelly could say. "Is she.. is she going to be okay?"

"It's too soon to tell, she's in the early stages of treatment still. But she's got no one to look after kids, so I have to go help her out."

"I understand," Kelly said. "I'll text the boys and tell them to be on call tomorrow, and I'll let you know when Griffin can meet. When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I can. As soon as I meet with Griffin and get the boys squared away. I'm really sorry about this, Kelly. You've been a great assistant, I know my leaving kind of puts you out of a job."

"Don't you dare worry about that right now," Kelly said. "You need to get home and start packing and figuring out what you're going to do with your mansion and staff and your alligator."

"You're right. I'll see you tomorrow," Gustavo said as he gathered his things.

* * *

><p>Logan's phone beeped as he and Camille were talking in the park. He took it from his pocket to read a text:<p>

_From: Kelly Wainwright  
>Boys! Change of plans for tomorrow. No need to show up at 8 am. However, you will be ON CALL all afternoon, so be ready to come in when I give you the word. Thanks guys. See you all tomorrow.<em>

"Sweet," Logan said, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

"What's up?" Camille asked.

"Our morning dance rehearsal got cancelled," Logan said happily. "We're off until the afternoon."

"Awesome," she answered. "I'm gonna be at the studio all day tomorrow."

"So," Logan said. "Tell me everything. What's the role? How was the audition? How did everyone react to the news?"

Camille smiled and tried to decide where to start. "Well here's something cool. My agent actually accidentally double-booked me for auditions today, and they were for two _really _different roles. So when she called me to tell me about the mistake, I had to choose which audition to go to. One of them was for a spot on a show on the Disney Channel, which you know, it's _Disney_, that's huge. But with Disney there's not a ton of stability because their shows never last longer than like four seasons, and the show's already on its third. So the other audition was for a new show that's gonna be on MTV 12 called Wings. My agent wanted me to go to Disney, and usually I take her advice, but today for some reason I decided not to. So I auditioned for Wings, and I was there for hours and hours doing different readings, and finally they let us go and said they would let us know later today."

"That's so cool," Logan said.

"I'm so excited. So the show's about a girl named Laurel, that's me, who finds out she's a fairy and meets another boy fairy who helps her discover where she comes from and then you know, there's the whole fighting against the bad guys… I know it sounds kind of lame, the whole fairy thing," she said, seeing Logan smirking at her.

"No, no, that's not it. I, uh, I just like seeing you so excited about it. You deserve this." Logan tried not to blush.

"Thanks, Logan. That means a lot to me. I never in a million years thought I could land a part like this."

The two sat in comfortable silence for a moment, until—"So, you sure you won't forget about all us little people when you become a big star?"

"Please. This, coming from Mr. Up-and-Coming Boy-Band Heart Throb."

"Um, I think you have me confused with James," Logan laughed. "He definitely has a monopoly on the heart throb status. It's his thing."

"And what's your thing?"

"I'm the smart one, duh. Carlos is the funny one, and Kendall is the leader," he shrugged.

"Oh yes, you were sooo smart to hypothesize that a watermelon could not, in fact, make toast," Camille teased.

"Hey, I was only going for a C plus. And, if you must know, it was the first C I've ever gotten. Anyway. Tell me more about the show."

"Hah. Okay, well, it's going to be set in LA so we'll be shooting on location a lot instead of in a studio. But we won't start shooting for two weeks or so, since all the characters are still being cast. And then of course the script for the test pilot episode has to be edited, and THEN we have to see if the show will even actually be picked up by the network, or if there are any changes the executives want to make. But for now I definitely have the part, so I just have to go in and read with some different actors until all the pilot characters are cast."

"Well, I think you're going to be amazing. We're all really excited for you."

"Thanks. But I better go up to bed now. I have to be there by 8 tomorrow."

"Alright. Good luck."

"Night, Logan."


	2. Change

Chapter 2: Change

The first thing the boys noticed when they made it to the studio the next day was that no one was yelling at them. Not Griffin, not Kelly, not Gustavo, and not a new choreographer.

They started to get nervous as they waited in the conference room for someone to show up and tell them what was going on. They should have been learning a new dance or recording or _something, _but all they were doing at the moment was waiting. No one said anything as they sat—Carlos and James played paper football while Kendall checked Twitter and Logan opened up a book. After a few moments Gustavo and Kelly walked in. Gustavo looked tired, and Kelly was not dressed in her usual business attire.

"Boys," Gustavo began. "I have some bad news."

The guys all looked up, concerned. "What's up?" Kendall asked.

"I don't really how to say this, so I'll just spit it out," the producer said. "I'm leaving for Colorado tonight."

No one said anything at first. "Okay," Carlos said hesitantly. "For how long?"

"Does this mean we get a vacation while you're gone?" James asked.

Gustavo held up a hand to quiet them. "I'm leaving for Colorado…and I'm leaving Rocque Records. I don't exactly know for how long."

"What?" Kendall exclaimed. "You can't leave! You're our producer! And songwriter."

"Yeah," Logan said. "How can you leave? What's going on?"

"Look, guys, I know this isn't easy to hear," Gustavo said, surprisingly calm. "I have to leave to take care of some personal family matters. I hope you guys can understand that. It's going to take some adjustment, but I've already had a meeting with Griffin to discuss your future as BTR, and he's already agreed to hire a new producer/songwriter so you can continue working on your album."

The boys again erupted into chatter.

"Is everything okay?"

"We don't want another producer!"

"You can't just leave us!"

At this point, Kelly stepped in to try to calm the boys down. "Guys, guys, guys! Settle down! The music industry is a roller coaster of a business and if you guys want to make it in this town, you're going to have to learn to roll with the punches. You've caught some lucky breaks up until now, but this is going to be a true test to see if you really have what it takes! And we know you guys can handle this."

"But what's really going on?" Logan said. "You said you have family matters to take care of. What's wrong?"

"My sister has been diagnosed with leukemia, and I'm leaving Rocque Records so that I can go stay with her and help out with her kids while she's in treatment," Gustavo revealed. "Look, I'm sorry this is such short notice, but she's pretty much the only family I really have anymore. I have to be with her right now."

The boys could say nothing in argument.

Kelly cleared her throat. "I guess I should probably mention that as Gustavo's leaving, I'll be moving on also."

"WHAT?" came the simultaneous answer from all four band members.

"Not you too," James lamented, head in his hands.

"Why, Kelly?" Carlos wanted to know.

"Well, as Gustavo's assistant, I'm paid directly by him, not Griffin. So I'll need to look for a new position somewhere else while Gustavo's gone."

To say Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan were shocked would have been an understatement. They were floored. BTR was just starting to make it. What were they going to do now? How were they going to just start from scratch?

"Now, don't worry, guys. You won't be starting from scratch. You may have some new producers and songwriters, but anyone who comes in to work with you will be familiar with you all as individuals and as a group. This won't be as hard as you think it will be," Gustavo said, reading their minds.

"We'll be fine," Logan said finally. "Don't worry about us, okay? You should be with your family."

"Yeah," Kendall echoed. "Just try not to miss us too much. We know how you get sometimes," he smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

Gustavo shook each of the boys' hands, saying, "This means a lot to me, that you guys are okay with this."

"Like, duh," Carlos said. "Family comes first, no matter what."

"For sure," James chimed in. "We just hope everything's okay."

Kelly teared up a bit and pulled each of the boys in for a hug, and when they could stand it no longer, dove in for a quick group hug that Gustavo didn't even try to pull away from.

"Goodbye, dogs," he said. "Make me proud."

"Aye aye, Captain," Carlos said, saluting. And with that, Gustavo made his way out of Rocque Records.

"Griffin should be here any minute for your meeting," Kelly said. "I'll be sitting in on it, if that's alright with you."

"Of course," Kendall replied.

When Griffin finally walked in with his assistant and the rest of his entourage, it was with the air of someone who didn't have much time to waste on something as trivial as a meeting.

"Well, boys, I guess you've heard the news," he started. "So now it's time to make some decisions about your future."

"We're ready to meet some new producers and writers," Kendall began. "And obviously you have final say, but we'd at least—"

Griffin halted him with a hand gesture. "I've spent the morning going over your contracts. Big Time Rush was under contract for two albums with producer Gustavo Rocque, who is no longer available. Under the terms and conditions of the contract signed by you and your guardians, this puts you in legal violation of the signed agreement."

"What?" James gasped. "You can't blame us for his sister being sick!"

"Are you _suing _us?" Logan asked, dumbfounded. He knew what the term 'legal violation' meant.

"Don't be silly," Griffin replied nonchalantly. "Why would I sue you? You don't have any money."

"Then what?" Kendall demanded. "Why are you telling us about the terms of our contract?"

"Because as head of the company, I have the right to put Big Time Rush on hiatus until such time as the aforementioned producer, one Gustavo Rocque, becomes available again to finish work on the album and complete the terms of the agreement."

"_What?" _Kelly exclaimed incredulously. "You can't be serious! If you put the band on hiatus now, it'll only be a matter of time before the fans get restless and move on to the next big thing!"

James gasped. Kelly flinched, knowing she probably could have been a bit more tactful there. "And," she continued, "You promised Gustavo the boys would be taken care of with a new producer!"

"Yes, well, that's actually the great thing about promises," Griffin replied. "They aren't contracts. After going over it with my budget team and heads of the other divisions of the company, it's been decided that it will be more lucrative in the long to put Big Time Rush on hiatus and focus our attention on some of the other producers and performers that have been brought into Rocque Records recently."

"So what does that mean, exactly?" Logan wanted to know. He wanted to be sure he understood perfectly what Griffin was saying here. "What are the terms of our hiatus? Does that mean we can't play shows anymore? Record music? Or what?"

"On the contrary, my boy," Griffin said. "You still have every right to perform where you see fit and make your own music. You just won't be doing it on the company's dime anymore. If you want to record or use the studio you will have to book the time and pay the studio rental fee. If you want to perform, you'll schedule dates and times yourselves and take care of those fees. You will not have free access to songwriters, producers, music video directors, or a visual effects budget for videos. And I will no longer be footing the bill for you all to live at the Palm Woods."

Logan felt sick. James had gone pale. Carlos looked as though he didn't understand why Griffin was doing this to them. As for Kendall…he was angry. But none of them said anything as Griffin finished laying down the bottom line. They couldn't. They were too shocked, too hurt, too numb, and too confused to say anything. Besides, what was there to say? Griffin had made up his mind, and he was a stubborn man. Normally they would try to concoct some sort of scheme to get him to realize that he was making a mistake, but they were still reeling from the loss of their producer and this immediate succession of events in which they'd basically lost their careers, and their home…not to mention their hopes and dreams.

"Alright," Griffin said, clasping his hands together. "I think we're done here. You have until the end of August to move out of the Palm Woods." He turned and walked out of the room without another word or a glance back.

"How could he-?"

"Why would he-?"

"What are we supposed to do?"

They boys were at a loss, and so was Kelly. She was still fairly young, but she'd been in LA and more specifically, the music industry long enough to know that this kind of ruthless behavior was the norm among powerful CEO's such as Arthur Griffin. She knew it, but that didn't make it easier to deal with every time she saw it happen. She could already feel a headache coming on.

Carlos had gone into panic mode, babbling about having to give up everything and return to Minnesota, while Logan tried to comfort him. James, on the other hand, had remained eerily quiet. The other boys were devastated, but it was nothing compared to what James was feeling. This had been his dream from the start; they had just come along for the ride. This had been his big break into what he wanted to do for the rest of his life; for the other guys, this was just a placeholder until they were able to do what they really wanted—play hockey, become a doctor…do whatever it was that Carlos wanted to do. Become a professional stunt man? At any rate, James knew it was going to be hard to make it in this business, but he never thought he and his friends would make it so far only to be told basically that they weren't worth the effort. That they would have to give up before they really got going.

"What do we do?" For the first time in recent memory, Kendall looked to someone else for guidance. Kendall, the natural leader, the one who always had a plan of action, needed help.

Kelly sighed and rubbed her temples. "What you have to remember is, everyone in this town believes that to make it, you have to look out for number one. That doesn't excuse his actions or make it okay, but people here are not conditioned to put others before themselves. Griffin's doing what's best for Griffin, it's not in his nature to worry about what position that puts you guys in."

Kendall shook his head. "You're right, that doesn't make it okay. We've gotta get home and tell my mom." He walked out of the room, not bothering to see if the other boys followed.

* * *

><p>"So, what you're saying is, he totally screwed us," Katie Knight said.<p>

"Katie," Mrs. Knight chided.

"Sorry."

"Well, he did," Kendall said. "We can't afford to live at the Palm Woods, or anywhere else really, but we can't just go back to Minnesota because we're technically still under contract with the record company!"

James nodded dejectedly. "We can make music, but only if we pay our own studio fees. Which we also can't afford on our own."

"We'll make it work, boys," Mrs. Knight said, trying to comfort them. "For now, let's just worry about finding somewhere to stay before the end of August, and we'll worry about the rest after that."

James stood up from his spot on the couch. "I'm going to bed," he announced. He couldn't take anymore of this, it was depressing him too much. Carlos likewise left the room to call his parents and give them the news. Kendall and Logan stayed with Katie and Mrs. Knight and continued to try to hash things out. Mrs. Knight even brought out their own copy of their contract to see if there was anything they could do to fight back.

"It's ironclad," Logan said despondently.

"We'll just have to get jobs," Kendall declared. "We'll all pitch in. And we do have _some _savings from our album paychecks. We have to make this work."

"Um, remember the last time you guys tried to get jobs in LA? You ended up owing more money than you made," Katie reminded them.

"Well, we'll just have to be more focused, won't we?" Logan said.

"I know you boys can do anything you set your minds to," Mrs. Knight said. "Try not to become too stressed with all this right now. This is only one night. This is only one setback. We'll get through it together." She and Katie went to bed shortly after.

Kendall and Logan sat in heavy silence for a few moments.

"I feel terrible for even bringing this up…" Logan began quietly.

Kendall raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Logan's ears reddened as he tried to broach the subject with his best friend. The subject of money had never really been an issue between them, but that was mainly because they avoided talking about it. Logan sensed that Kendall was a little defensive about it, probably stemming from the fact that his mother had had to raise him and his sister on a waitress' salary and a meager child support that didn't go very far with a growing teenage boy and a pre-teen girl whose hobbies and interests changed every other month or so.

"Well, uh. James and I, you know. We have…It wouldn't be that big a deal if…"

"Logan, what?"

"What I'm trying to say is, I'm sure our parents wouldn't mind helping your mom out a bit more. You know. Financially."

Kendall frowned. "Are you saying my mom can't take care of us?"

Logan cringed. "No, I'm just saying that—"

"Then what? You miss your big house with your own room and bathroom and housekeeper?"

Logan was afraid Kendall would react this way. "You know that's not what I meant! I'm only—"

"Don't offer us your parents' charity!" Kendall said angrily. "We can manage this family without handouts!" He stalked off to his and Logan's room as Carlos came back in from speaking with his parents.

"What was that about?"

Logan ran his hands through his hair, distressed. Without even answering Carlos, he went off towards the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed, leaving the youngest friend to wonder when everything would be okay again, or _if_ it ever would be at all.


	3. Saying Goodbye

Chapter 3: Saying Goodbye

The apartment was depressingly quiet the next morning, as the boys could do nothing except stare around at all their stuff, which they'd have to start packing up into boxes and suitcases. Even Carlos, usually a ball of energy and enthusiasm, was as subdued as the others.

Logan was using his laptop to research apartment complexes in their price range, which he was actually a little unsure of because he didn't want to anger Kendall again by asking how much money his mom could spare for a monthly rent. He knew she must be burning through money just trying to keep food in the apartment—James and Carlos were constantly eating, and he and Kendall weren't exactly innocent of sneaking food in between mealtimes. He was closing a tab with the website for an expensive condo when his Skype notification went off. Kelly's face appeared on his screen.

"Hey, Kelly."

"Logan, I have some news, is everyone there?"

"Kendall's mom is grocery shopping, but we're all here."

He motioned for the other three boys to join him around the laptop. Kendall, James and Carlos all gathered around.

"I spoke to Gustavo this morning," Kelly said.

"What did he say?" Kendall asked.

"He was furious with Griffin. He nearly picked up his bags and headed straight back to the airport to come back here."

"He can't do that," Logan said. "His family…"

"I know," came the reply. "Anyway, my last favor to him was supposed to be to find someone he could lease out his mansion to while he's away. He didn't want to sell it because he knew eventually he'd be coming back. But he also didn't want to have to continue making full payments while he was away."

"Ooookay…" Carlos said, cocking his head to the side. "So, have you found anyone?"

"I think so," Kelly grinned. "I cleared it all with him before mentioning it, but after what happened with Griffin, he thought it was the least he could do…"

James gaped in surprise. "Kelly. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Kelly smiled and nodded. "As long as Mrs. Knight clears it, Gustavo is willing to lease out his mansion to you guys for the time being. She'll have to pay the utility bills and staff members if she decides to keep them on, and partial mortgage, but it should be manageable."

"Holy crap, that's awesome!" Carlos said. "What about all his pets though?"

"Gustavo's already had them taken to new homes."

"I can't believe he's letting us use his mansion," Kendall said. "That's just so… unexpected."

Kelly's phone beeped and the boys saw her glance down. "I gotta take this. Talk it over with your mom and get back to me tonight, Kendall. Bye, guys."

"Someone pinch me," James said. "I must be dreaming that Gustavo just said we could live in his mansion."

Carlos reached over and pinched him. "Ow!"

"Well, you said to pinch you."

However, Logan noticed that Kendall did not look as excited as the others. He looked almost irritated. "Do you know how expensive it would be even to lease a mansion? Gustavo lives in like, freaking Beverly Hills!"

"So I'll get my dad to send more money," James said. "No big deal. And I have some savings."

"It is a big deal!" Kendall snapped.

"Kendall, chill," Logan said. "You said it yourself, we'll all get jobs and pitch in. It'll be fine." Logan knew that it would indeed take a lot of money and he briefly thought of asking his parents to send more money to Mrs. Knight anyway, Kendall's objections to charity be damned. He made a mental note to talk to James about that later. "This will work out," he said again.

Carlos, doing his best to ignore the tension in the situation, bounced up and down. "This is so _cool. _When can we move in? Maybe we should start packing. Dibs on first pick for a room!"

Kendall shook his head as Carlos scampered off to start throwing things in suitcases. "Whatever, I'm going to the pool to enjoy what's left of our time here."

"He's sure in a crabby mood," James commented as Kendall let the door slam behind him.

"He's just worried about the money situation," Logan replied. "We have a lot of expenses coming up and zero income."

James frowned. "Like I said… I can always ask my dad to send more money to Mrs. K."

"I wanted to ask you about that. I told Kendall the same thing, but he said it was charity and got mad at me."

"It's not charity. It just makes sense. Mrs. Knight can't be expected to be able to take care of three teenage boys that aren't even her kids by herself. Besides, Carlos and I alone probably eat through the whole grocery budget."

"You can say that again," Logan laughed. "Not to mention your obscenely long showers, marathon video game sessions with Carlos, and—"

"Okay, okay, I get it. And hey, don't forget about how _you _stay up all night reading with lights on, or how Carlos turns the thermostat all the way down 'cause he misses the Minnesota cold!"

Logan rolled his eyes. "The point is, I'm ignoring Kendall and asking my parents to send more money to Mrs. K, number one because I already know they can afford it and won't mind, especially when I tell them everything that happened with Gustavo and Griffin, and number two because I've been researching places to live all morning and if we want to live somewhere other than freaking East Compton, then we're gonna need some help. And we really are gonna have to get jobs or something."

"I get your point. I'm gonna go call my parents, I haven't told them anything about this whole thing," James said.

Logan didn't feel like packing yet, and he didn't want to bother Kendall down at the pool.

So, he went to Camille's.

She looked surprised to see him. "Hey, Logan. What's up?"

"I, uh, need to tell you something."

"Okay. Um, come in.

Logan sat on the couch and chewed on his lip while he tried to decide how to give Camille the news. She waited for him to say something. Finally he turned to her.

"We're leaving the Palm Woods."

Camille's mouth dropped open. "What?"

Logan stood up and started pacing. "We're leaving the Palm Woods," he repeated. Up to now he'd been the calm one, but now that he'd actually said it out loud, he allowed himself to feel some of the creeping panic he'd been suppressing. "Gustavo's sister got sick, and he had to leave to go take care of her, and we were supposed to get a new producer but then Griffin said we were in violation of our contract and he wasn't going to spend any more money on us or our music, so now we can't afford to live here and we have no way of finishing our next album or making any new music at all, Mrs. Knight doesn't have a job, and everything is just so monumentally… fucked up." He took a deep breath.

"But how… Why would…Huh?" Camille was stunned. First her best friend moves to New Zealand for three years, and her boy—er, ex-boyfriend was leaving too?

Logan calmed himself and sat back down. "We're moving into Gustavo's mansion while he's away, but we still have no way of finishing our album without a producer, and we kind of suck at songwriting, _and _Kendall's the only one who can really play an instrument."

"Oh, thank God," Camille said, putting a hand to chest in relief.

This did not seem like an appropriate reaction to everything he'd just told her. "Huh?"

"No, I mean, that's all really terrible. You just scared me. When you said you were leaving the Palm Woods, I thought you meant that were going back home to Minnesota."

Logan softened. "Oh. No, we can't just give up now… not after everything we've been through. It's just… Kendall's freaking out about money, which he really doesn't need to, and he's still really upset about Jo leaving so this is just the cherry on the crap sundae of his life right now."

Camille shook her head sympathetically. "Everything's gonna work out for you guys," she reassured him. "I know it will."

"That's what I keep saying, but I'm not sure if I really believe it," Logan said. "We have to be realistic. Who's to say our fans won't get bored and move on while we're on hiatus?"

"Every band goes through rough patches, though. You just have to find ways of keeping your fans interested in you, any publicist will tell you that."

"I just don't know how we're supposed to keep them interested if we can't even put out new singles."

Camille couldn't really think of anything to say to that. "So… when do you leave the Palm Woods?"

"By the end of August. Just in time to go back to school."

"Ugh, like… public school?"

"Yeah. It's gonna be so weird."

"Whatever, you'll love it. You'll take all AP classes and be every teacher's favorite student, in addition to being one of the most popular guys in your class if not the whole school because you're in a band."

Logan grinned. "Well it doesn't sound so bad when you put it like that. At my old school I was that kid who played hockey with Kendall and hung out with James and that other kid with the helmet. Carlos and I were just the sidekicks to the popular guys. Popular by association, I guess."

"So what? This isn't your old school. Maybe it's your turn to be the one people notice."

They talked for awhile longer and Camille told Logan about her day at the studio, sparing him the details of her wardrobe fittings, and after awhile Logan had to get back to the apartment.

He returned to find that Kendall had already talked to his mom about living at Gustavo's place, and she had hesitantly approved the idea.

So it was official. This was really happening.

* * *

><p>As the month wore on, all six of the people living in apartment 2J began packing up their belongings and moving their things little by little to the Beverly Hills mansion. As promised, Carlos was the first to pick a room, choosing one on the third floor down the hall from Gustavo's private home theater. James also chose a room on the third floor, while Kendall, Logan and Katie picked rooms on the second floor. Katie went straight for the room with its own private bathroom, and when Kendall and Logan started to protest, she merely said, "Dude. I'm a girl."<p>

On their last day at the Palm Woods, Mr. Bitters had to attend a conference downtown for uptight managers, and so everyone took advantage of the occasion to host one last party in the band's honor. Everyone was there, and even the Jennifers were sad to see the boys go. All three of them spared a hug for Carlos, and brunette Jennifer even shed a single dramatic tear before warning him that if he told anyone about it, he would regret it.

Their keys had been turned in. The last boxes were packed away. Mrs. Knight waited in the car.

Katie hugged Kyle goodbye and high-fived Tyler.

Guitar Dude stopped strumming long enough to give a nod to each of the guys.

Camille hugged Carlos, then Kendall, before moving on to James. He lifted her up a bit when he hugged her and set her down laughing.

Once again, the three boys shuffled away quietly in order to give Camille and Logan their privacy.

Camille didn't hug Logan. She stood a couple of feet away from him, arms crossed over her chest. She looked as though she was fighting back tears and Logan resisted the urge to close the gap between them and hug her himself. His feet were glued the ground, his mouth was dry, and his jaw might as well have been wired shut. As always, he waited for her to make the first move.

"I broke up with Steve," was the only thing she said before turning and running back to the lobby and disappearing into the elevator.


	4. Real World

**A/N: **Just wanted to take a quick moment to thank you guys for reading and reviewing. Hopefully once I get through these preliminary setup chapters and get the guys into school, things will pick up on the reviewing front. If you guys have anything you'd like to see happen, feel free to let me know. I know how this story ends already, but if there's anything specific y'all want to see and I can work it in, I'll dedicate a scene to you. Anyway, I do have some things planned for each of the guys, but this _may_ be slightly Logan-centric because he's my favorite.

**Chapter 4: Real World**

"So that's all she said?"

"Yes."

"And then she just ran away?"

"Yes."

"No goodbye kiss or anything?"

"Well, that might have been a little awkward, considering she'd just burst into tears."

"And you're sure she didn't say _anything _else?"

"No! You guys, seriously, I told you exactly how it happened."

They waited until they arrived at the mansion so as to spare Logan from talking about his love life in front of Mrs. Knight, but as soon as the boys were safely upstairs in Logan's new room, they started grilling him about what went down with Camille in the lobby. They were not impressed with how he'd handled the situation.

"Geez, Loge. For a genius, you're kind of an idiot," Carlos told him.

Logan just glared. "What was I supposed to do? I didn't even have time to say anything before she took off!"

"Hah," Kendall chuckled. "Typical dramatic Camille."

"Whatever. Can we please drop this?"

"Let's explore the mansion!" Carlos hopped up from his spot off the floor.

"Oohhh, good call," James said, getting up too.

Thankful for any excuse not to be talking about Camille, Logan readily agreed and they all headed into the hallway and towards Kendall's room. Kendall had chosen the room on the second floor that had a small balcony which was only inches away from a tall oak tree. James smirked when he saw this.

"Well, I guess now we know whose room to sneak in and out from if we ever need to," he said.

"Seriously," Kendall agreed. "How perfect is that?"

Logan shook his head, not even wanting to think about what they would be getting up to that would require sneaking in or out.

Moving along, the boys found the game room on the second floor that contained a large TV. Carlos immediately went to up his room and retrieved his Xbox as well as James' Wii. The room also had a pool table and an air hockey table that could be flipped over into a foosball table. They found the home theater on the third floor, equipped with an old-timey popcorn machine and every DVD they could think of. They skipped over much of the first floor, having seen it when they watched the house for Gustavo that one time, and instead headed toward what they thought would lead to a basement.

The boys were stunned at what they saw when they made it down the stairs.

"What the-?"

"Is that-?"

"It is," Kendall said. They all took a few steps in.

They were met with a computer and soundboard set in front of a large glass window, through which they could see into another room that contained many different types of microphones and headphones against a wall. To the right was another entire room that contained a set of drums, bass guitars, electric guitars, acoustic guitars, a piano, an electric keyboard, trumpets, saxophones, and an assortment of many other instruments.

It was a mini recording studio, right there in their new home.

Logan could feel the other guys getting excited. "I hate to be the pessimistic one," he started.

"Then don't be," James advised.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Very funny. But we have no idea how to use the sound equipment. And we don't have any music to record, even if we did. _And _Gustavo would murder all of us and bury us at sea if we messed anything up in here."

Kendall sighed. "He's right, James. We'd have to hire a producer or something. And a band. Or teach ourselves how to play."

"You already know how to play guitar, though," James said. "And I can sort of play keyboard. And we've already written one song, I think we can write more if we really buckle down. No matter what anyone says, we're not just some stupid _boy band _manufactured by a label that doesn't have any say in the music we put out."

"He's got a point," Carlos said. "You have been saying we need to take steps and enter the next phase in our music careers."

"Yeah… This isn't gonna be easy though."

"Hey, no one ever said being a band was gonna be easy," Logan said.

* * *

><p>The next day, Kendall was searching through the Want-Ads with Carlos trying to find places to work when his mom came in.<p>

"Well, boys, I have officially found a job."

Kendall looked up, surprised. "What? Already? Where?"

"Remember Mr. Johnston, my old boss at the restaurant back in Minnesota?" Mrs. Knight asked. "Well, his niece left home a few years ago to move out here to LA because she wanted to be a model. She recently got married to a man who just opened his new restaurant, which is in need of hostesses, servers, and bartenders."

"So… you got a new waitressing job?" Kendall asked.

"Yep. Well, I'll be a server but on weekends I'll have a few shifts working at the bar. It's a really nice place."

"Awesome, congrats, Mom!"

"Thanks. What are you boys up to?"

"Me and Kendall are trying to find jobs too," Carlos said. "But so far the only things we can find are like, dog-walkers."

Just then, James came in, sliding his phone into his pocket, grinning.

"What are you so happy about?" Carlos wanted to know.

"I've been talking to Kelly to see if she could help me out," James said. "You know, since we all said we were going to try to get jobs."

"What does Kelly have to do with is finding jobs?"

"Well, there is no way I'm going to spend the rest of my summer walking dogs and cleaning up their shi—er, poop," he corrected himself, glancing at Mrs. Knight before she could get onto him about his language. "Besides, in Hollywood, it's all about who you know. So I asked Kelly if she could hook me up with an agent and she gave me this number and email address and told me to wait an hour before I called. So I waited, and when I called, the lady was expecting me. I have to go meet her tomorrow and go over a few things, but she's a friend of Kelly's so I know she's legit."

"Wow," Carlos said. "So you're gonna like act and stuff?"

"Nah," James said. "It's a modeling agency that the lady works for. Three of their male models recently left cause they got roles on some TV shows, so they're in need of some guys in there quick."

Carlos tried not to giggle. "You're gonna be a model?"

"Hey," James said, unbothered by Carlos' laughing. "This face and these washboard-abs deserve to be seen by the masses. Plus, hello, I get to meet _female _models every day just by going to work."

That shut Carlos up. "Touché, good sir."

Kendall sighed. "I think I saw a Whole Foods down the road, I'll probably apply there."

"Well, I'm glad you boys are taking some initiative," Mrs. Knight said. "I'm proud of you all."

"Where's Logan?" James asked.

"I think he went down to the community center," Kendall said. "He should be back soon though."

"Oh, Carlos," James said, remembering something else. "Kelly said she could probably get you a job as an errand boy somewhere, if you want."

"Sweet!"

Right on cue, Logan walked into the living room, where the other three boys had gathered. "So, I'm a lifeguard now."

"Nice," James said.

"Guess that CPR training came in handy," Carlos commented, referring to two summers ago, when Logan had spent seven weeks taking CPR and EMT classes for fun.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, the guys had all settled into a routine at their respective jobs.<p>

Logan worked at the pool every morning from nine AM until one PM, at which point he got a lunch break and then switched from lifeguarding to being a camp counselor's assistant with the kids whose parents needed someone to watch them in the afternoons. He was having fun teaching the kids mini-science experiments and reading to them, so all in all his job wasn't so bad. Plus, he'd made a friend at the pool named Hannah, who was also a lifeguard slash camp assistant, though she'd worked there the previous summer and so was in charge of showing Logan the ropes.

He'd only spoken to Camille a couple of times via text message, and they had talked about Logan's new job and how she was getting along with her new co-stars. She hadn't mentioned what she'd said about breaking up with Steve, and he didn't mention the new girl he was friends with. He hoped that the slight weirdness would pass and he and Camille could go back to their comfortable friendship, because despite his obvious attraction to her and her obvious feelings for him, Logan just wasn't ready to push himself to that next step and begin a relationship with her again. Maybe he was too hesitant, too cautious for his own good, but he couldn't bring himself to open his heart to her and have it end the way it did the first time.

James was having the time of his life at the modeling agency. In two weeks he'd already gone on a dozen go-sees and even managed to book three jobs. He wasn't sure if it was because the photographers and designers really thought he was a good model, or because they knew he was in a band that was all set to take off, which would give their ads a ton more publicity—but either way, he wasn't asking questions. Because of his popularity, the other male models in the agency, however, began to resent him, going so far as to call him "a talentless pretty-boy who got lucky with a record deal" and "a major sell-out who probably didn't even care about his band."

He tried not to let the rude comments bother him, but James wasn't the arrogant jerk he was often perceived to be. Sure, he _was_ confident in his looks and talent, but he would never put anyone down the way the other male models were doing to him. He chalked it up to jealousy and kept his chin up, but he couldn't help but feel that maybe they were right. They were the ones who actually cared about this stuff—photography and the fashion industry. He was just a kid along for the ride.

Meanwhile, Carlos was having a blast working on the movie set that Kelly had set him up with. He basically ran errands for the director, who was a friend of Kelly's from college. This meant doing everything from going on coffee runs to screening his phone calls and prioritizing his text messages, as well as sometimes helping with set clean-up after shooting was done for the day. Carlos didn't mind all the running around he had to do, because this basically gave him an excuse to rollerblade or skateboard everywhere. Plus he was determined to show Kelly that he could be just as responsible as Kendall or Logan and that she could trust him not to screw up, since her friend had hired him as a favor to her. He noticed that much of the crew on this movie seemed to be fairly young—the director was in his late twenties, as were many of the camera operators. The girls in charge of props and wardrobe were still in college, and most of the errand-runners ("production assistants," as Carlos learned they liked to be called) were around his age, give or take a year.

Even Kendall was having alright time working at the grocery store. It was a job he was familiar with, having done the same thing back in Minnesota, and because of that he was given more responsibilities during his shifts. Plus, since the store was located in Beverly Hills, the people he bagged groceries for were often rich people who tipped him generously. This was probably his favorite thing about the job.

One afternoon, when all four boys were home for the first time since they'd gotten jobs, Mrs. Knight came home from picking up Katie from ice skating lessons. She told the boys that she had gone to the local public school to enroll them for the coming semester. She brought them each registration packets detailing the classes they had to choose from (Logan was the only one excited about that), a handbook of rules and policies, dress code guidelines—

"Dress code guidelines?" James gasped. "What?"

Kendall made a face as he read over the dress code. "Khaki or navy pants or shorts only? No jeans? White button-downs or white or navy blue polos? No hats? What kind of Nazi school is this?"

"Does that mean I can't wear my helmet?" Carlos wanted to know.

Logan read over his own copy. "It's not THAT bad, you guys."

"Easy for you to say," Carlos retorted. "That's how you dress normally."

Logan stuck his tongue out at Carlos. "Rude."

James was the most put out by this new development. "Nothing kills swag like wearing a school uniform," he said.

"This is so lame," Kendall agreed.

The boys all sat down to fill out their class schedule forms, overwhelmed by the number of classes they had to choose from. One by one they gave up and handed them over to Logan, trusting him to pick classes for them.

"Oh, sure, I'd love to sit here alone with the course guide and pick classes for everyone," he said sarcastically. "Don't mind me, I'll take care of everything."

"You're the best, Loges," James said, ruffling Logan's hair as he walked out of the room.

"I gotta get new friends."

* * *

><p>The next day, James came home from a photo shoot and found Logan and Carlos playing air hockey upstairs against Katie and Kendall.<p>

"Hey, Kendall," James said. "How strict is your mom about that whole midnight curfew thing?"

"Pretty strict," Kendall answered as Carlos scored on him. "Damn it."

"My ears," Katie said, grinning at him.

"Shut up and play some defense," Kendall replied. "Remember my first girlfriend, Melanie?" he said, addressing James again. James nodded. "Well, I had been out with her one time and lost track of time. It was already midnight when I realized it. So, I bolted and made it home in less than half an hour, but Mom was sitting in the living room with the lamp on, just waiting for me to walk through the door. I got grounded for two weeks, and Melanie broke up with me because I had bailed on her so harshly."

Katie laughed, remembering the incident. "Plus, it was your first girlfriend, so mom thought it would be the perfect time to have 'the talk' with you."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Kendall groaned. "Wait, how did you know that?"

"I was listening from the stairs, duh. Besides, Mom decided she was on a roll and gave me our talk the next day." Katie shuddered, remembering the painfully awkward conversation.

The boys all shuddered too, trying hard to ward off the images of Katie and Mrs. Knight having 'the talk.' She was as much their sister as she was Kendall's and none of them were too keen on the idea of her growing up so quickly.

"Anyway," Logan said, trying to change the subject. "Why are you so worried about curfew all of a sudden?"

"This girl, Michelle, down at the modeling agency, her parents are going out of town at the end of this week, so she and her twin brother are throwing a massive party on Friday. Like, huge. She invited everyone from the agency and said we could bring whoever we want."

"Well, Friday night mom has a shift at the bar," Katie said helpfully. "She won't even get off work until 3 AM."

"Nice," Carlos said. "All we have to do is make sure we beat her home."

"Yeah, but who's gonna stay with Katie?" Kendall said. "We're not just gonna leave her here alone all night!"

"Really, big brother? I'm twelve, not five. I don't need a babysitter."

"You're eleven," Kendall reminded her.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Eleven and _a half. _That rounds up to twelve. Any mathematician will tell you that. Right, Logan?"

"She has a point," Logan said.

"She'll be fine, Kendall," James said. "Plus, she can warn us if your mom decides to come home early or something."

Kendall still seemed doubtful, but his teenage urge to party trumped his responsible urge to take care of his baby sister. Besides, even his mom admitted that Katie hadn't needed taking care of since she learned how to play poker.

"So, Friday…?"

"Friday, we party."


	5. The Party Scene

**A/N- This may or may not be the longest chapter I've ever written, standing at over 4k words. It makes up for how long it's been since I updated.. This chapter introduces a bunch of new characters that will be important later on, so pay attention! Please let me know if you have any thoughts! **

Chapter 5: The Party Scene

_Here's to the fast times, the times we felt alive.  
>To all the nights that we forgot to get back home.<br>Stay seventeen—the party scene has got the best of me. _

* * *

><p>Friday afternoon, Logan returned home from his shift at the pool to find Kendall strumming on a guitar in the basement. He hummed softly, every so often trying to fill in the melody with lyrics.<p>

"If I ruled the world, I would give it, give it all to you; give it, give it, give it all to you… If you were my girl, you'd never have to worry about another thing, no… We'd dream out loud."

Logan didn't want to interrupt so he watched quietly from the doorway until Kendall seemed stuck.

"Sounds good," he said.

Kendall looked up, slightly embarrassed. "Hey," he said. "I think I have the whole melody down, it's just, the lyrics aren't coming at all."

"Well, play me the song," Logan said.

Kendall obeyed and played the music he'd come up with. Logan nodded his head to the beat.

"I'm not so good with words, apparently," Kendall said. "Carlos came up with most of our part of 'Oh Yeah.'"

"I know what you mean. James did most of our part. While I sat on a stool dressed like girl. Don't ask," he said as Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know how Gustavo does it," Kendall said. "He comes up with song after song for us."

"What was it he told Katie? Find something you're passionate about. What are you passionate about?"

"Hockey."

Logan rolled his eyes. "I don't think a song about hockey would be too popular."

"Yeah, well you're passionate about school, so I wouldn't be talking."

"Shut up. Seriously. What were you thinking about when you started laying down lyrics?"

"Jo," Kendall admitted.

"Thought so. What else?"

"I dunno, lots of stuff. Her, the band, how I still feel like all this is just a dream."

Just then, James and Carlos wandered downstairs. "What's up?" Carlos asked, noticing the guitar Kendall was holding. "Are you guys writing a song?"

"Sort of," Kendall said. He played the melody again for them all. "It doesn't really have words yet."

"It's about Jo," Logan said, earning himself a shove from Kendall. He didn't want everyone to know how depressed he still was about her leaving. "What? It is."

"It's about other stuff, too," Kendall defended himself.

"Like hockey?" Carlos teased.

"I care about other things besides hockey!"

"Well, at least if Kendall writes it, it won't be about the Pythagorean Theorem," James cracked, looking at Logan.

Carlos and Kendall laughed at Logan's expense a bit while he shook his head and glared at them.

Kendall went over the wall of guitars and picked out another one and handed it to Logan. In their spare time, Kendall had been trying to teach Logan to play. "I'll play lead," he said. "You follow with some chords." James also went to the back wall for the keyboard, and handed a small set of bongo drums to Carlos while he was at it.

Kendall started playing, alone at first, then one by one, the other boys joined in. They had to run through it a few times before everything sounded good together, but finally they ended up with something they all liked. Now, if only it had words.

"Go back to that one part—'If I ruled the world.' What if the song isn't just about Jo? It's about what we'd do if we ruled the world," James said. "And how ruling the world wouldn't make us forget who we love."

"Carlos," Logan interrupted. "How'd you get that scrape on your elbow? Did you fall off your skateboard?" He'd just noticed a nasty looking wound just beneath the sleeve of Carlos' t-shirt.

Carlos looked down, as if just remembering it was there. "Er, fall, got pushed, same difference."

"Someone pushed you off your skateboard?" Kendall asked indignantly.

"This jerk who works on crew," Carlos said, unconcerned. "He's been pushing me around a little. I swear it's like freakin' high school. Big, bad tough-guy has to bully the younger kids to get some respect. He's just mad at me cause I got the job he wanted. And he called me a freak today cause I jumped over the food service table on my skateboard and into pile of garbage. I didn't mean to land in the trash!" He added the last part defensively, seeing the looks on the other boys' faces.

Kendall sighed, frustrated. "Whatever, let's work on the song later. I'm hungry."

"Word," Carlos said.

"We should take Katie to dinner or something," Logan said. "For helping us out with tonight."

James nodded. "For sure. By the time we eat and get back here, Mama Knight will be gone and we can get ready and go to the party. It's only a few blocks from here. We can walk there."

* * *

><p>After asking Katie about twenty times each if she was sure she'd be okay for the night, the boys were finally ready to depart. Not before Kendall ran through a mental checklist for Katie though.<p>

"Don't open the door for anyone."

"I won't."

"Don't under any circumstances leave the property."

"I won't."

"Don't go swimming alone."

"I know how to swim!"

"Katie!"

"Fine, I won't."

"And don't try to cook anything. If you get hungry, order something."

"But you told her not to open the door for anyone," Carlos stage-whispered, loudly enough for everyone to hear. Kendall merely glared him in to silence.

"Kendall, would you relax? I'm going to sit around here and play video games and talk on the phone. I'll eat cereal if I get hungry. I'll set the security code when I go to bed, and I'll text you if Mom calls for anything."

Kendall felt marginally better. "Okay. Text me before you go to sleep too."

"Fine."

Kendall pulled her in a brief hug. "Alright, baby sister. See you in the morning."

"Bye, guys. Have fun."

As the boys walked toward their destination, they chatted about what to expect from this party. Surely a Hollywood house party couldn't be that much different from the kinds of parties they'd been to in Minnesota? Sure, they had the whole clean-cut boy band image cultivated by their record label, but they were no strangers to high school house parties where people had managed to get a hold of some beer or a bottle of vodka.

How wrong they were. They could hear music blaring from several houses away, even though it was nearly 10 PM. The neighbors must have been very tolerant. As they entered, they saw some couples making out, some grinding to the music in the living room, and many more people milling about the house and the backyard, talking, drinking, playing beer-pong.

A few people had flickers of recognition on their faces as the four boys walked into the house—they were pretty popular in California, so most of the teens who saw them knew who they were without introduction. Most of the girls, at least. However, no one came up to them to ask for autographs or anything. But the boys didn't notice how many people pulled out cell phones to snap quick pictures or send out Tweets.

"Wow," was all Carlos managed to say.

"You're telling me," Kendall said in response.

The boys waded through the people, trying not to draw attention to themselves, until they made it to the kitchen. It was a huge room with a large table carrying a punch bowl and cups, complete with a servant hired to dole out the drinks.

Someone jostled Logan just as he was reaching for his now full cup, causing him to splash punch all over himself and a blonde girl next to him.

"Watch what you're—Logan?"

"Whoa! I'm so sorr—hey!" The two teens spoke in unison.

"You know her, Loges?" James said, eyeing the pretty girl.

"Yeah, guys, this is my friend, Hannah! She works down at the pool with me. What are you doing here?" he asked.

Hannah waved politely at the other three boys before addressing Logan. "My friend, Michelle, is the one throwing this party," she said. "She lives here."

"You know Michelle?" James asked.

"_You _know Michelle?" Hannah countered.

"I'm a model at the same agency as her," he said.

"You must be new," Hannah said. "Haven't seen you around before." She turned back to Logan. "Come on, let's go find somewhere to get cleaned up. Then I'll show you guys where Michelle is so you can say hey."

Before he could say anything, Hannah grabbed his hand and led Logan out of the kitchen and up the stairs to a bedroom. She walked over to the huge closet and looked over the clothes until she found a top that matched was she was wearing. Logan didn't have time to turn around or cover his eyes before Hannah turned her back to him, stripped off her punch-stained shirt unashamedly and put on the new one. She turned back around to find him staring at her.

Hannah waved a hand in front of Logan's face to snap him out of it. "We work at a swimming pool, Logan. You've seen me in a lot less than that," she reminded him, smirking.

"Well, yeah. You just surprised me is all. I thought this was Michelle's house," he said, commenting on her taking the article of clothing without permission.

"She won't mind if I borrow something. More like she won't notice. The bathroom's through there, you probably have time to get that stain out if you soak it down."

Logan went off in the direction she pointed and took off his own shirt. He didn't bother to shut the door; no one was up here. It seemed Michelle's party guests were polite enough to keep their shenanigans on one level of the house. He was in the process of using a small hand towel to try and scrub out the red splotch when Hannah reappeared in the doorway. He tried not to be self-conscious, remembering that she was right—she'd seen him shirtless plenty of times.

Hannah smiled inwardly, sensing his slight discomfort. He was so… innocent. "Here," she said, holding out a shirt for him.

He eyed it warily. "I don't think anything of Michelle's would look too great on me."

Hannah laughed. "It's Derek's. Her twin brother."

"Ah." Logan took the gray v-neck shirt and put it on.

"Ready?"

"For sure."

The pair made their way back to the party, and this time Logan definitely noticed that people were noticing _him. _When they found Kendall, James, and Carlos, they all went out to the backyard, where the boys saw a DJ spinning tunes. Michelle was hanging out with some other teenagers, a couple of whom James recognized from the modeling agency. Michelle held a lit cigarette between two fingers, her other hand intertwined with Nathan's, her current boyfriend and fellow model.

"About time, Hannah, what took you so long?" Michelle said as Hannah led the group to them.

"I ran into some people," she replied, gesturing around to Logan and the others.

Michelle caught sight of James and let go of Nate's hand. She went up to him and kissed him on both cheeks. "Glad you could make it. And you brought the band."

James nodded a hello to Nate and said, "Yeah. This is Kendall, Carlos, and Logan." He motioned to each in turn.

A man with a tray of what looked like brightly colored test tubes was walking past, and Michelle reached out and stopped him. She took a tube from the holder, and Hannah and Nate did the same, as did another girl who James didn't know, as well as another blonde from the modeling agency named Naomi.

"Time for a toast, no?" Michelle said.

Hesitantly, but not wanting to seem lame, James and the other boys each took a tube from the tray, just as some other guys walked up to the group.

"Excellent, are we doing shots?" A shaggy-haired guy appeared and took a test tube. A tall, black-haired boy that must have been Michelle's twin also took one for himself.

"Bottoms up," Michelle said.

James downed his shot without hesitation, and Kendall, Carlos, and Logan all glanced at each other momentarily before doing the same. A couple of drinks couldn't hurt anyone.

"Now," said the shaggy-haired boy. "I've got some real party favors." He pulled a small zip-lock bag from his pocket which contained a bunch of white tablets.

"Not here!" Michelle hissed angrily.

"Jesus Christ, Scott, there are people with cameras everywhere. The last we need is to get caught in the background of a Facebook picture downing E," said the tall boy that was Michelle's brother.

"Alright, alright, sorry! Don't have a conniption, Derek." Derek shoved him lightly in response.

"Go up to my room," Michelle instructed him. "No one's upstairs. Wait a few minutes. We'll be up. And don't mess with my shit!"

Scott turned to leave with Michelle's brother. "Wait up." The girl who James didn't know, and who had yet to speak a word called out to Derek, who paused. The girl finished her own cigarette, threw it to the ground and stepped on it before following the two boys.

The blonde girl called Naomi decided to make her exit. "Count me out, you guys. I have a shoot in the morning, and I do not need a bad trip to fuck up my job tomorrow."

"Oh, you got the Louboutin ad?" James asked.

"Yeah, and I have to be at the shoot at 8 AM," Naomi said. "So no pills for me. I'm good for a few more drinks, though." She winked at James and walked away.

Michelle's boyfriend caught sight of a few of his buddies and likewise left the group after pulling Michelle in for a kiss.

"So, how are you guys liking the party?" Hannah asked, ignoring the couple to her right.

"It's… something," Logan replied, looking around at everything.

"Parties in Minnesota didn't have people walking around with trays of shots, that's for sure," Carlos commented.

"Yeah… or champagne," Kendall said, noticing a group near the edge of the pool. "The classiest it got was beer and a bottle of Skyy."

"Ha. You guys sound like quite the party animals," Hannah said, being sarcastic. "Your record label must be so happy they don't have to do any PR to keep you out of the tabloids."

"Hey, we've been known to get in trouble a time or two," James said. "Remember when Miguel threw that party last year?"

Carlos laughed at the memory and launched into the story. His older brother had decided to have a party while their parents and younger sisters were visiting their grandparents. Carlos had been 15 and Miguel was 18, and it was a party that had become legendary at their high school, partially because the party hadn't gotten raided by the cops, but also because it became widely known that Carlos, a lowly sophomore, had experienced his first full-on make out session with girl from Miguel's class. Of course, she'd only done it on a dare from a friend, and she needed three shots of rum before making herself do it, but that was neither here nor there. She'd left Carlos a rowdy hickey on his neck which he had no way of covering. They were so meticulous in cleaning the house before their parents got back, and everything went smoothly, until Mr. Garcia went into the garage for something and found his recycling container full of beer cans, which Carlos had forgotten to empty.

Michelle smirked. "Cute. But if you want to see the real party, follow me upstairs."

Hannah followed, as did James, but the other three boys hesitated.

"I dunno if it's a good idea, James," Kendall said.

"It'll be fine, guys," James reasoned. "Look, I'm with these people all the time, and if I ever want them to take me seriously, then I have to be a part of their whole scene. You don't have to come if you don't want to." He turned again to follow Michelle and Hannah.

Kendall didn't move, but Logan didn't want James to go off by himself. He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment before looking apologetically at Kendall and moving to follow James. Kendall grabbed his arm.

"Be careful. And keep an eye on him."

Logan nodded and turned away, leaving Kendall and Carlos behind.

* * *

><p>Upstairs, they found Scott, Derek, and the quiet girl in Michelle's bedroom. They'd cracked open their own bottle of champagne while waiting for the others to appear. Michelle shut and locked her door and Scott once again brought out his bag of pills. He took one out for each person in the room, even James and Logan.<p>

"So, we got some newbies, or what?" he asked, nodding to them.

"This is James and Logan," Michelle said. "James is new at the agency."

"And Logan works at the pool with me," Hannah added.

"Cool. I'm Scott, that's Derek and Holly," he motioned towards Michelle's brother and the other girl.

Holly was a small girl with light brown hair and blue-green eyes. She wore black fishnets under black shorts and had on a lot of eye makeup that made her eyes look striking. She poured champagne for everyone while Scott handed out the small tablets.

"Cheers," he said and placed the tablet in his mouth and then downed his glass of champagne. Everyone else followed suit, including James and Logan. Logan didn't have much experience with drinking, and none with drugs, since he never developed a taste for beer and their old friends in Minnesota either couldn't afford or didn't care to try to buy any drugs harder than marijuana. James had only slightly more experience with drinking and had himself tried smoking pot a few times, but this was new territory for him as well.

Derek looked at Logan strangely, and Logan thought he was going to make some snide comment about them being in a boy band, but instead, all he said was, "Is that my shirt?"

James looked down at Logan, noticing only now that he wasn't wearing the same thing. Michelle and Scott also glanced over at Logan, who now felt uncomfortable and on the spot.

"Oh, well, uh—"

"We had a bit of a mishap in the kitchen," Hannah supplied for him. "You don't mind, do you, Derek?"

Derek shrugged. "No big." He and Holly got up to leave Michelle's bedroom, holding hands casually, which did not go unnoticed by Michelle, who glared in Holly's direction.

"You cool, 'Chelle?" Scott asked, taking a swig of champagne from the bottle. He passed it to James next, who shrugged and took a swig himself before passing it to Logan. Logan gave it to Hannah without taking any himself. He wasn't sure if he was feeling a buzz or if he was just imagining it because he knew he'd been drinking.

"I told Derek to stay away from her," Michelle said. "She's just going to keep breaking his heart."

Scott stood from his spot on the floor and held out a hand to help her up. "Sometimes a guy's gotta learn the hard way."

"Well, you would know," Hannah said pointedly.

"Shut up."

James, Logan, and Hannah all stood as well. Scott led the way out of the bedroom, Michelle and James following, leaving the nearly empty champagne bottle behind. Hannah hung back and tugged on Logan's sleeve to get his attention.

"What's up?" Logan said. He was _not _imagining it. This was a definite buzz. He felt… free.

"Stay and talk to me for a while," Hannah said. She took a drink from the bottle and handed it to Logan, who finished it off. Hannah shut the door and sat on the edge of Michelle's bed. She let herself fall back so that she was lying down flat on her back. Logan thought nothing of it and laid down next to her. Normally, such proximity to a pretty girl would have made him nervous and caused him to get tongue-tied. But this felt right. It felt natural.

"Are you having fun?" Hannah asked after a moment of silence. Logan raised himself up on one elbow. Her eyes were closed, but she had a serene, happy look on her face.

"Yeah," Logan said. "Definitely."He brushed a stray piece of hair over her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. Hannah's eyes fluttered open and she smiled.

"You're drunk," she said, laughing. It was blunt, but she wasn't mocking him and he didn't take it as such.

"I think so," he admitted. "Is that bad? I'm supposed to be the responsible one."

"You're a teenager," Hannah said. "We are, by definition, supposed to be irresponsible. Otherwise we're just wasting our youth."

Logan chuckled. They made eye contact. Logan found himself glancing down at Hannah's lips, which she noticed. She lifted herself up on one elbow like him, leaned in, and planted her lips firmly on his, with no trepidation or trace of embarrassment. Logan was surprised but did not pull away until Hannah pushed him down on the bed and moved on top of him, straddling his waist. This caused his brain to finally catch up with his mouth.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Chill, Logan," Hannah said, nipping his neck a little, causing his brain to fuzzy again. "Don't think too hard."

He tried protesting one more time, but even as did so, his arms snaked around her waist, causing her shirt to ride up a little and he traced his fingertips lightly over the smooth skin of her lower back. "You don't wanna get back to the party?"

This caused her to pause and look at him. "Do _you _want to get back to the party?"

"Not particularly," Logan answered honestly.

"Then relax," she whispered. "We're just having fun."

* * *

><p>Kendall and Carlos, in the meantime, had been left to their own devices, and now that they weren't surrounded by models, some other kids had ventured up to them. A few girls had even asked for pictures. Eventually they got in on the beer-pong tournament that was taking place, and they were currently enjoying a winning streak and working on their fourth win when James found them again.<p>

"Where's Logan?" Kendall asked as Carlos tossed a ping-pong ball and missed the cup he was aiming for.

James shrugged. "With that girl, I think?"

"Hannah?"James nodded.

Carlos let out a whistle. "Way to go, Logan."

The other team made a shot and Kendall chugged down a cup of now-warm beer. "Ugh," he said, making a face. "That's terrible."

It was nearing midnight, and Kendall checked his phone, feeling a vibration in his pocket. Katie had texted him goodnight, assuring him that the doors were locked and that his bedroom window was not. He and Carlos ended up losing their game and were forced to choke down a couple more cups of beer each.

The night was turning out to be a typical party straight from any teen movie. Kids danced and talked, played beer pong and King's Cup and generally enjoyed their adolescence. They were exhilarated at the thought that they could be caught at any moment, and, in the invincible feeling of teenagers, never thought for a minute that they actually would be.

When Logan and Hannah eventually returned to the party, they both looked a little sloppier than they had before. Logan had a hickey forming on the right side of his neck. Hannah wandered off to find some friends and Logan found Kendall, James, and Carlos outside.

"Well, well. Been having fun, Loges?" Carlos asked

Logan shrugged, smirking. "Maybe. Maybe not."

"That bruise on your neck says… maybe yess," Kendall said, slurring a little. He shook his head, trying to clear the alcohol-induced haze. "Man. We are so messed up."

"No way," James said. "We're fine."

"Pshh," Kendall replied. "Carlos and I are drunk. You and Loges are on E! We're all wasted."

"I'll drink to that," said a calm voice from behind him. They turned to see Holly lighting up another cigarette and taking another test-tube shot from a man holding a tray. The boys, no longer feeling the need to be hesitant, each took a shot with her.

She offered them her pack of cigarettes. Carlos, James, and Logan refused. Kendall stared down at her proffered hand, murmured a quiet 'fuck it' and took one and lit it. He puffed it a couple times in order to get the hang of it and mercifully did not start coughing immediately. Holly didn't bother trying to make polite conversation, content merely to smoke and drink, and so the boys, not quite sure what to make of her, didn't try to engage her.

Soon they were distracted by a scream followed by a splash as a girl got tossed into the pool fully clothed. She emerged yelling at the boy who'd thrown her in, though she wasn't really that upset. In fact, she seemed to have started a trend. The boy who threw her in the pool stripped off his shirt and jumped in, and a couple of other boys followed suit. Soon enough, girls started stripping down to their underwear and jumped in too.

The boys all grinned around at each other before jumping in.

* * *

><p>Sometime near 3 AM, the boys were all still a little woozy, but decided it was time to make their way home so they could be sure to beat Kendall's mom. All four were soaking wet and shirtless, and they garnered a lot of attention on their way out in the form of many girls snapping more cell phone pictures. The others didn't really notice, but James couldn't help but like the attention. He was <em>the <em>James Diamond, after all.

The boys stumbled their way home, talking and laughing about the night.

"Every party should be like that," Carlos said as he pulled himself up the tree outside Kendall's room.

"Definitely," James agreed. "It should be mandatory."

The guys all made it to their respective rooms and crashed, not even bothering to change out of their wet clothes.


	6. Last Friday Night

Chapter 6: Last Friday Night

_This a hickey or a bruise?  
>Pictures of last night ended up online, I'm screwed<br>It's a blacked-out blur, but I'm pretty sure it ruled  
>Yeah, we danced on table-tops,<br>Yeah, we took too many shots  
>Think we kissed, but I forgot…<em>

* * *

><p>When Kendall awoke the next morning—well, afternoon—his head hurt and his tongue felt like there was something furry growing on it. Not yet ready to go downstairs and face his mother for fear that she would take one look at him and know everything that had happened the night before, he forced himself out of bed and decided to head for the shower. His legs felt oddly heavy, and it was then that he realized that he was still wearing his damp jeans from jumping in the pool. He felt as if he could sleep another few hours, but resisted the urge to crawl back into bed. He struggled out of his jeans and cursed when he stubbed a toe on the edge of his dresser. Shaking his head at himself, he grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom, where he found Carlos with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet from taking a shower. He was brushing his teeth when Kendall walked in.<p>

"Carlos? What are you doing in here?"

Carlos spat some toothpaste into the sink. "James is using our bathroom. He'd just gone in when I woke up, so you know it'll be another hour before he comes out again," Carlos explained. "You don't mind, right?"

"Nah. Is Logan up yet?"

"Of course he is," Carlos rolled his eyes. "You know Logan's a morning person. He was freaking out about that bruise on his neck," he grinned.

Kendall snorted. "Who'd have thought our Logan would be the one to come out of that party with a hook-up story?"

"Seriously. Anyway, I'm all done in here. See ya in a bit."

After Kendall showered, he went downstairs where he found Carlos pouring a bowl of cereal and Logan holding a metal spoon to his neck while Katie watched a timer.

"That's time," she said. "Let's look."

Logan took the spoon away. The look on Katie's face told him all he needed. "It's still there, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah. In fact, that might have made it look even redder."

"What are you guys doing?" Kendall asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Carlos bent down to tie his shoe and Kendall swiped a bite of his Captain Crunch.

"What's it look like?" Logan groaned. "Trying to get rid of this hickey! I've tried every solution Google gave me and nothing is working."

"Well, there is one last thing you could try," Katie said.

"What?"

"Be right back." Katie disappeared to her room and returned a few minutes later with a hand mirror and a tube of—

"Make-up?" Logan asked. "Seriously, Katie, I'm not that desperate."

"Oh really?" Katie said skeptically. "And what do you plan to tell my mom when she inevitably asks you what that mark on your neck is? That you burned yourself with a curling iron?"

Kendall and Carlos laughed at out loud as James walked into the kitchen. "What's so funny? Wow—that's a huge hickey!"

Logan slumped over and put his head on the table. "You guys are no help at all."After a moment he sat up and motioned to Katie to go ahead.

"I don't see what the big deal is," she said as she dabbed a bit of concealer on Logan. "You guys wear makeup all time for photo-shoots and videos."

"That's different!" Logan exclaimed. "That's so we don't get washed out by all the bright lights! Not cause we want to look pretty!"

Kendall frowned, as if just realizing something for the first time. "Wait a second." Katie looked up. "…When did you start wearing make-up?" Katie rolled her eyes and went back to blending in the liquid she was putting on Logan's neck.

"Uh, guys," James said. "We might have a problem."

"Why?" Carlos asked.

James had brought his laptop downstairs and was surfing the web. "We're on Hollywood Teen Beat. Like… all over it."

"What's Hollywood Teen Beat?"

"Seriously, Carlos, we've been here over a year and you don't even keep up with the gossip blogs?" James asked incredulously. He looked up at Kendall and Logan for help but they both only stared blankly back at him, not knowing what he was talking about either. Katie however, was interested.

"Ooh, you guys made it on there? HTB is like, the number one gossip blog for teenagers in Hollywood. It focuses on younger celebrities," she explained. "What's it say?"

"'The boys of Big Time Rush sure do seem to be taking their label-imposed hiatus in stride. The foursome were caught on camera partying the night away at a Beverly Hills mansion, and were photographed with drinks in hand and lit cigarettes! Logan Mitchell, resident brainiac of the group, was even seen sneaking away upstairs, holding hands with an unknown blonde, for some private time, while bandmates Kendall and Carlos chugged beer outside. The boys' night of letting loose registers a 6 on our Scandal Scale. After all, boys will be boys, but none of them are of age for drinking—or smoking!'" James read aloud.

Logan's jaw dropped. "What?"

All four boys and Katie crowded around James' laptop and they read the paragraph for themselves. James scrolled down to find that many pictures had been uploaded to website. The pictures were, for the most part, pretty low in quality and were often taken from far away. However, some were very close up and the four boys were unmistakable in the photos. There were quite a few of Logan being led upstairs by Hannah, and a few more of them coming back down wearing different shirts.

"Aw, that's not even fair," Logan said. "Those ones of us going upstairs were when we were trying to clean up all that punch! What are people gonna think when they see these?"

"Well, to be fair, they won't be too far off," Carlos pointed out. "You did make out with her."

"That _is _all you guys did, right?" James asked.

"Of course it is!" Logan said. "You think I would really go any further than that with a girl I've known less than a month, in someone else's room, in the middle of a party, while drunk and messed up on drugs?"

"Hey hey, watch it!" Kendall said to Logan, shielding Katie's ears. "Katie, go to your room!"

"Who are you, Mom?" Katie said indignantly.

"No, I'm your big brother and I say get out of here!" He got up and dragged her out of the kitchen forcefully. "And don't eaves drop!" He watched her as she stomped upstairs and waited until he heard her door slam before returning to his seat.

James and Carlos continued to scroll through the pictures. There was one of James in the middle of downing a shot, some of Carlos chugging down a beer, and quite a few of Kendall in front of the beer-pong table. Then came photos of Kendall lighting his first and only cigarette of the night, as well as some of all four boys holding shot glasses and grinning. They were even posing in a few of the pictures that they'd taken with fans, but the fans' faces were blurred out to protect their privacy. Finally, towards the end of the post were pictures of the boys leaving the party, dripping wet and missing their shirts and shoes.

Kendall groaned. "We're dead."

James was now reading the comments on the blog. The article and pictures had been posted only a couple of hours prior, and yet there were already over 200 comments. Many of them were supportive, saying things like 'who cares, they're just having fun!' or 'Wish I was at that party!' However, there were also a great deal of negative comments on the post.

"'These wannabes are trying so hard to stay relevant'?" Kendall read. "'No wonder their label told them to go on hiatus.'"

"'How'd this geek manage to land a girl like that?'" Logan pointed to another comment. "Guess that one's about me."

"These are so mean," Carlos said. "Why would people say stuff like that?"

"You haven't really made it in Hollywood until you have haters," James said. "This must be our initiation."

"Well that sucks," declared Carlos.

"Anyway, what do we do about this? What if my mom sees this shit?" Kendall said. He was angry. He didn't enjoy his privacy being violated like this—especially by people his own age. It wasn't like they were out in public for the paparazzi to snap photos of them. They'd been at a private party, and had ended up on the front page of a gossip blog because kids from the party had sent in photos. And now they might be in serious trouble. It was like the reality TV show all over again.

James' Skype notification popped up and he accepted a face-call.

"Hey, Kelly," James said apprehensively. He was sure she'd start yelling at them any moment now.

"Are you guys aware that you're on the front page of Hollywood Teen Beat?"

"Yes," said the boys in unison.

"So you're aware that pictures all over the internet exist of you guys drinking and smoking?"

"Yes."

Kelly sighed.

"Are you mad?" Carlos asked.

Kelly shook her head. "No. Not really. Since you're not on his dime at the moment, Griffin won't do anything to you. If you guys were actually recording or working and this happened, it might be a different story. I just wanted to check in with you guys and make sure you all actually got home okay."

"We're fine," Kendall said. "Should we do anything about this?"

"No," Kelly said. "Do NOT under any circumstances respond to ANY comments or Tweets you might get, no matter how rude or provoking! Do NOT say anything about the party at all. You can't deny you were there or that you were drinking, since you're front and center in most of the pictures, so the best thing to do is ride it out. Don't go the Disney channel route and apologize for anything either," she added. "It'll just sound rehearsed and insincere. And don't tell your mother I said this, but this might not be such a bad thing."

"How so?" Logan wanted to know.

"As much as people are writing negative things about you… the fact is that they _are _writing about you. Unfortunately—or maybe fortunately, it depends on how you see it—it's true what they say: there's no such thing as bad publicity."

"So you're really not gonna get onto us about drinking and stuff?" Carlos said, still surprised by her calm manner.

Kelly smiled wryly. "You guys forget, I'm not THAT much older than you. I was a teenager myself just a few years ago."

The boys all grinned sheepishly. "Thanks for calling, Kelly," Logan said.

"No problem. But for God's sake, please be more careful about things like this. Now that it's happened once, people are going to be looking for it to happen again and trying to goad you into responding. And Logan," she said before ending the call, "You really should do something about that bruise on your neck."

Logan huffed angrily and clapped his hand to his neck. "Ughhh, why me?" He got up and went to find Katie to see if she had anything else he could use to cover the mark.

"Maybe your mom won't even find out, Kendall," James said thoughtfully. "I mean, why should she? It's not like she reads teen gossip blogs."

"True… I guess either way what's done is done. Worst she can do is ground us. And call your parents…"

James gulped. "Let's hope we don't have to worry about that."

"Would she really call our parents?" Carlos asked. "I can just hear my mom yelling at me now… '_Aye Dios mio, Carlos!'" _he said, imitating his mom in a high-pitched voice. "'_Que estabas pensando haciendo esto?_ _You wait until your father hears about this_!'... She yells in Spanish when she's really mad," he explained.

"Yeah," James remembered. "The whole block heard her shouting at your brother when he dinged your dad's car door right after he got his license."

"Ahh, the good old days. I love when she's yelling at someone other than me."

Meanwhile, Katie was putting the finishing touches on the make-up she was applying to Logan's neck. He was sitting cross-legged on the edge of her bed across from her. She leaned in close to inspect her handiwork.

"Well?" Logan asked. "How's it look?"

"You can still see it a little," she replied. "But I think only if you're really looking for it. Now, I have a question for you, and don't take this the wrong way."

"Okay…" he said slowly. "What's up?"

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything," Katie said seriously. "But, um, what about Camille?"

Logan cringed. He'd hoped this wouldn't come up, but he figured he'd have to deal with sooner or later. He just didn't anticipate Katie would be the first person to bring it up. "I don't really know," he said, deciding to answer honestly. She was a lot younger than he was, but she was pretty mature for her age, and she and Logan had a special relationship since he was Kendall's best friend. Sure, James and Carlos were Kendall's best friends too, but they treated her like a kid. Logan didn't. He had a good understanding of what she could handle, and he didn't act like she was a baby. She appreciated that. She waited patiently for him to continue.

"The last thing she told me before we left the Palm Woods was that she broke up with Steve," Logan said. "But I dunno what that means, exactly. Do you think she's seen the pictures?"

"Definitely," Katie confirmed. "Everyone at the Palm Woods follows HTB. I know you think she's a cool girl, but you might have pushed the envelope a little too far this time."

* * *

><p>Around 2 PM, Camille arrived back at the Palm Woods after having been working on her new show all morning and going to have lunch with her new cast-mates. As she reached the lobby, she waved to the Jennifers, who'd actually been acting kind of nice to her ever since the boys left. The Jennifers, all crowded around a laptop, gasped when they saw her approaching, and Blonde Jennifer quickly slammed the lid shut as Camille got to their table.<p>

"Uh, hey guys," Camille said, confused. Where they hiding something from her? "What's going on?"

"Nothing," said all three Jennifers much too quickly.

Camille, never one to shy away, demanded an explanation. "Seriously, what are you hiding?"

The Jennifers all glanced uneasily at each other. Curly-haired Jennifer slowly reached out to open the computer lid. "Okay, don't freak out," she said. "But you're not going to like this."

Brunette Jennifer scooted over so Camille could see the screen. Hollywood Teen Beat was open, and to Camille's surprise, there was a post featuring Big Time Rush.

"What the…?" There were Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan. She read the small blurb twice before she comprehended anything she was reading and inspected each photograph to be sure that they were not just doctored to make it look like the boys had been caught drinking. There was a pang in her chest when she saw the ones of Logan holding hands with some random blonde girl, but that was nothing compared to what she felt only seconds later when she saw the two of them coming back down the stairs grinning and wearing different clothes. She didn't know how to react.

Blonde Jennifer put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Camille opened her mouth as if to respond, but had nothing to say, and closed it again. Tears pricked her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She would not cry, not here in the lobby in front of the Jennifers and Guitar Dude, and the fifteen other people who were watching her, waiting for her reaction to the gossip blog post. She stood quickly without a word, gathered her purse, phone, and script from the table and marched over to the elevator, punching the Up button with more force than was strictly necessary. Once safely inside the empty elevator, she allowed the tears to fall and wiped them away furiously immediately. She reached her apartment and fumbled for her keys, so angry and upset that she dropped them twice before managing to unlock her door. Luckily, her father was out at the moment, and Camille stomped to her room, slammed the door, and took out her own laptop. This time, she read the article yet again, looked at all the pictures, and started reading the comments on the post.

She didn't know what to do. Logan had tried to her patience to its breaking point, and she was fed up with it. She'd gone along with it when he'd said he wanted to see other people. She let him have his time when he was confused about his feelings for her. After all, she did kiss his best friend. She owed him that. But then he had initiated the fake relationship for their reality show, and even admitted that he hadn't minded making out with her all over the place in front of the cameras. THEN he'd been jealous of her and Steve going to prom together, and basically made sure that she spent no time with her date that night. Yet he still hadn't committed to being in a relationship with her, and now here he was on the most famous teen gossip blog in LA hooking up with some random girl! The nerve of him! So it was okay for him to see other people, but not her? He could go out and drink with his friends and party with a bunch of other girls, but she couldn't even go to prom without him having a jealousy fit?

She looked at her watch and tried to calculate what time it was in New Zealand. She had to talk to Jo about this, there was no one else she could turn to. It should be sometime in the morning, she thought. Hopefully she wouldn't wake Jo, but if she did, she knew her friend would understand. This was an emergency. She punched her speed dial and waited for the call to connect.

"_Hello? Camille?" _Jo answered the phone on the third ring.

"H-hey, Jo," Camille responded, unable to keep her voice from shaking.

"_What's wrong? You sound upset. Is everything okay?"_

"Have you looked at Hollywood Teen Beat recently?"

"_No…why? Is this about Logan?" _

"Isn't it always?" Camille said miserably. "He and the boys went to some party last night and there are a ton of pictures of Logan holding hands with some girl. And there's a _hickey _on his neck! I don't know what to do, Jo! I can't confront him about it because we're not a couple but at the same time I can't just let it go! I'm so sick of this back and forth bullshit with him!"

"_I can't believe Logan would do that to you! Have you even talked to him yet? Has he tried to explain?"_

"No, I haven't talked to him yet. I just got home and had to freaking find out from the Jennifers about this! I'm not sure I even want to hear an explanation. I'm seriously just… over this. I've been patient! I gave him space! And I broke it off with Steve, thinking that he would come around if I made it clear that I was waiting for him to be ready! And what do I have to show for it? Nothing!"

"_Ugh, I'm so sorry Camille, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe it's just time to move on from Logan.." _

Camille sighed. "You're right. I know you're right. It just sucks so bad knowing that he so obviously doesn't give a shit about how I feel! He knows that I want to be with him! And I know he has some feelings for me, even if he's too scared to admit them to himself. But I have had it," she said resolutely. "I can only be the 'cool girl' for so long."

"_Cheer up, okay? You'll forget about this is no time and Logan will be the one waiting around for you. And you won't be there to come running back to him, right?" _

"Right," said Camille. "Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you with this while you're halfway around the world."

"_Don't worry about it. But I do have to be on set soon…"_

"Say no more," Camille told her. "I just really needed to get that out. I miss you. Life's not the same without my best friend around."

"_I miss you, too. I'll text you later when I have a break! Bye." _

"Bye." Camille hung up the phone and stared at it for a few a moments, struggling to quell the desire to text Logan right then and give him a piece of her mind. But no, if he had anything to say to her, he would initiate the conversation. And if he didn't have anything to say, well, neither did she.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- And there you have it, folks. A couple of y'all asked about Camille, so here's her side to what's happened. I've tried to keep her in character but also be realistic to how she probably feels Logan's been handling things. I had a similar situation, so I can relate! Let me know if you guys think that's an accurate portrayal of her. And please please please review! Especially if you have suggestions, comments, or criticisms—all are welcome.**


	7. Reaction

**(Picking up on the same day as chapter 6 left off…hope you guys are ready for a Logan/Camille showdown!)**

Chapter 7: Reaction

_So if I ask you to stay, you'll remind me  
>That your mind's made up and you've had enough of us?<br>And I'd say, wait  
>I'd hold my breath and wait for your reaction<br>Stand my ground cause I'm not ready to back down  
>I know, but where could I go?<br>And wait for your reaction?_

* * *

><p>Kendall had a shift at the grocery store that afternoon; Carlos had gotten a call from his director telling him to be on set; and James was practicing his angles in the mirror, preparing for an upcoming photoshoot he had to do, so Logan sat in his room with a guitar and a notebook, glancing down at his phone about twice every five minutes. He wanted to hear from Camille, but he was afraid to call her himself. He didn't know what to say to her, but he still hoped she would call or text him. She had to have seen the post on HTB, and the fact that he hadn't heard from her meant only one of two things: 1.) She didn't care about the pictures or 2.) She was so mad about the pictures that she didn't want to talk to him. He thought maybe it would be too good to be true if the former were true.<p>

Logan strummed the melody Kendall had taught him for the song they were working on. He wasn't as good as Kendall, but it was definitely getting easier for him to pluck out songs. If you had asked him two years ago how he thought he would be spending the summer before his junior year, he would have told you that he'd be taking an SAT prep class and pre-reading for his AP literature class, and practicing equations for Trigonometry. He never thought the real answer would be basically getting fired from his record label, working at a swimming pool, having his picture show up on an online tabloid, and struggling to learn to read music and write a song.

He thought about what some of the comments on Hollywood Teen Beat had said about him and his friends and it gave him an idea.

"_Be who you are, love is all you need  
>All of us geeks, freaks, and wannabes<br>Singin' ayo,  
>If I ruled the world<br>I would give it, give it all to you  
>Give it, give it, give it all to you…"<em>

Logan sang softly, trailing off at the end. He'd been sitting in his room for a solid hour, yet this was all he could come up with because he was so distracted with his love triangle issue. He hadn't heard from Hannah either, but he would see her soon enough at work, and figured he'd deal with it then. In the mean time, he was struggling to decide what to do about Camille. He knew the pictures would hurt her feelings, even if they weren't a couple. Despite all the craziness with the record label and moving out of the Palm Woods, she had always stuck by him and was there when he needed someone to talk to, so he couldn't help but feel like he had betrayed her in a way. His heart beat a little faster and he reached for his phone, punching number 8 on his speed dial- Camille.

Realization hit him. What was wrong with him? He didn't have feelings for Hannah, he barely knew her. She was pretty and all, but Camille had been his rock, his constant. Camille was the one he wanted to be with. He just wished it didn't take hooking up with another girl for him to realize it.

The phone rang four, five, six times before Camille answered.

"_Hey, Logan," _Camille said. She did not sound particularly happy to hear from him.

"H-hey, Camille. Are you busy tonight?"

"_Um, no, not really. Did you need something?" _

Logan was getting a bit nervous, hearing the icy tone in her voice. "Uh, yeah, kind of. Have you… have you seen the post on Hollywood Teen Beat?" Camille was silent. "Hello?"

"_Yes. Of course I saw it_."

"Okay. Well, can we talk about it?"

"_Fine. When? Where?"_

"Meet me at the Palm Woods Park in an hour? By the fountain."

"_Alright, see you there." _The line went dead as she hung up without another word.

Logan felt apprehensive about his sudden decision to call her. But he couldn't back out now. He was finally ready to ask her out again, finally done being confused about his feelings for her. She was the one, and he had to let her know that.

* * *

><p>Camille threw her phone back down on her bed, fuming a little as she paced her room. "Who does he think he is?" she asked aloud. "'<em>Did you see HTB? Can we talk about it?' <em>As if there was any way I hadn't seen it!"

There was a knock on her door and her father poked his head into her room. "Camille, are you okay? Are you talking to yourself?"

Camille whirled around and faced her dad. "I'm fine, dad. I have to go meet Logan for a little while, is that okay?"

"Sure, sweetie. Don't forget your curfew."

"Oh, don't worry. This won't take long." She didn't bother to take her purse or wallet with her, opting only to bring her phone. She wouldn't need much else for this conversation.

She grabbed the script she was working on and headed out of the apartment and to the park to wait for Logan, studying the script to take her mind off things. Before she knew it, Logan approached, riding a bike he'd borrowed from Carlos, (though admittedly, Carlos didn't exactly know Logan was borrowing it) wearing a helmet with the chin strap left undone. Camille looked up, closed her script, and folded her arms over her chest.

"Hey. Can I sit down?"

"Be my guest," she replied dryly.

"So," he said, not sure where to start.

Camille wasn't going make things this easy. "So," she repeated back to him.

"Okay. Um." He took a deep breath before trying again. "Look, I know you saw the pictures on HTB, and it's really not what it looks like. Well, it is, kind of, but, just let me explain. James' friend—"

"Why?" Camille interrupted.

"Huh? Why what?"

"Why are you bothering to explain?"

"Well… because I know how you must have felt when you saw the pictures—"

"And?" she interrupted again.

"And?" Logan repeated weakly. This was not going well.

"God, Logan, you're so full of yourself!" Camille said, getting heated. "Now you suddenly care about how I feel? You think you're so freaking smart, don't you?"

Logan was taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?" he said defensively.

"You think so highly of yourself!" Camille said angrily, standing up. "'_Oh, poor Camille, she must be so upset over these pictures, I better go talk to her about it since I know she must be sitting around waiting for me,'" _she said, bringing her voice an octave lower to imitate him. "Don't you dare, for one second, act like you know how I felt when I saw those pictures! I came back to the Palm Woods to find the _Jennifers _and _all _my other friends practically waiting in the lobby to ambush me with the post! So I have to see it online, instead of hear it from _you, _who should have been the one to tell me about her!"

Logan stood up angrily too. "Well I'm trying to tell you now but you're standing here yelling at me like a psycho!"

"Yeah, I'm psycho. Eight different kinds of crazy, that's what I am to you, aren't I? God, how could you do this to me? How could you not even _tell _me about her? Who is she?"

"I wasn't trying to hurt you!" Logan shouted right back. "She's just a girl I work with, what does it even matter? I just wasn't thinking, okay? I was drinking and she was _there—_"

"Oh, yeah, that makes it so much better."

"What are you so mad about? It's not like I cheated on you! You're not even my girlfriend!" As soon as the words slipped out, Logan wished he could take them back.

Camille blanched for a second. Tears again pricked behind her eyes, and she turned furiously away to go back to her apartment. Logan followed, trying to get her to stop but she was deaf to his pleas until finally he reached out and grabbed her wrist to stop her from going any further.

"Camille, would you just wait a second! I'm sorry I said that."

She wrenched her hand from his grasp and shoved him away from her. He was forced to take several steps back to keep his balance. "No, I will not _wait, _Logan Mitchell! That's all I've been doing is waiting for you, since the day we met! I'm tired of it! And I'm not going to do it anymore!"

"Camille, please! Just listen, I didn't come here to get in a fight with you! I came to apologize."

"Why? You don't owe me one. I'm not your girlfriend, remember?" she said harshly, reminding him of his words to her only a moment ago.

"I came to tell you that it's you!" he yelled. "I kissed another girl! I didn't mean for it to happen, and I'm sorry! But I came to tell you that you're the one I want to be with!"

Camille shook her head and finally allowed the tears that she was holding back to fall, not bothering to try and wipe them away. "I have wanted to hear you say that for weeks and weeks. I gave you your space, I let you figure out what you wanted, I let you have your freedom, thinking—hoping—that if I was patient, you'd come back to me."

"And I have."

"It's too late now," Camille said, no longer shouting. "I can put up with a lot of things, but not this. You didn't cheat on me, but you knew how I felt about you, and even knowing that, you did it anyway, and then you just come over here expecting me to forgive and forget. I dumped Steve, someone who _actually_ liked me, because like an idiot I thought you might take some fucking initiative for once."

"I do like you," Logan said, shoulders slumping. "And believe it or not, I do know how you feel. At least it wasn't your _best friend_ who _I _kissed."

"Are you seriously still punishing me for that? Don't try to make this my fault, Logan!"

"I know it's not your fault!" he said, his voice rising again. "I'm just saying you're acting like I have no idea what you must be going through, when really, if _anyone _knows how you feel, it's me! I don't know why you're making this so damn difficult!"

"Because I wanted you from the beginning!" she shrieked at him. "I didn't need to see what else was out there before deciding it was you! I wanted you from day one, and I was always there for you when you needed someone, and I made one mistake, and you put me through hell because of it! I waited and waited for you to be ready, and then you go and do this! So you don't get to just waltz in here and tell me that now you want to be with me, like I'm just some sure thing who'll always be at your beck and call! I'm a fucking _person_, Logan, not your loyal lapdog!"

She turned away again, and this time Logan could think of nothing to say to stop her. She didn't look back to see him standing there helplessly in the middle of the park, looking around as if searching for an explanation as to what had just happened.

When Logan got back to the mansion, Kendall was sitting in the living room alone, eating a sandwich and flipping through channels on TV. Logan threw himself down on the couch and helped himself to the bag of chips that was sitting on the couch between him and Kendall.

"What's up, buddy?" Kendall asked, seeing the expression on his friend's face.

Logan stuffed another handful of chips in his mouth before answering. "I went to see Camille."

Kendall winced. "How'd it go?"

"There was yelling, there was crying, there was more yelling, and then she left."

"Geez, Loges, you made her cry? Nice going."

"Thanks, Kendall, I wasn't feeling bad enough about it."

"Sorry. So what happened?"

Logan told him the whole story and Kendall listened quietly. "…And then she told me that she wasn't a dog, and left. And I just stood there like an idiot."

"Wow. She's really mad at you."

"I don't know if she'll ever speak to me again."

James came downstairs, calling out, "Hey, Kendall? Is Logan here?" He walked into the room to find the other two boys. "Oh, hey, Logan."

"What's up?" Logan asked.

"Well… I would tell you to sit down but you already are. You're on Hollywood Teen Beat."

"Uh, yeah, duh. That's what I've been trying to deal with all day."

"No, I mean, just you. Well, you and Camille, to be exact," James said, pulling out his cell phone to show Logan the page he had pulled up. Sure enough, there was a photo of Logan and Camille standing up looking angry at each other.

"You've got to be kidding me," Logan said. He scrolled down to find a short blurb on the fight he'd just had with Camille.

"'Logan Mitchell, of boy-band Big Time Rush, was seen today in Palm Woods Park having a fight with Camille Roberts, an up-and-coming actress best known for her role on Magic Middle School (and currently filming for the new show Wings, due out this fall). The two teens seemed to be having quite the showdown in the middle of the park, culminating in Camille shoving Logan away from her before yelling and leaving poor Logan standing alone in the middle of the park. Now, our sources couldn't tell us exactly what the fight was about, but since Logan was caught sneaking around with another girl just last night, it's not too hard to guess! We already know that Logan is the Big Time Genius of the band, but is he also proving to be a Big Time Heartbreaker? Only time will tell!'"

Logan groaned. "Why do they keep posting this shit?"

"So, you had a fight with Camille?" James asked.

"Yeah," Logan sighed. "I went over there to tell her I liked her again. But she was not having it."

"You hurt her feelings, Loges," James said. "She's gonna need more than that if you really want her back."

"God, I'm such an asshole," Logan said. "I told her she shouldn't be so mad at me because she's not even my girlfriend."

James face-palmed. "Well that was an incredibly stupid thing to say to her."

"I know. I was just mad cause she wouldn't stop yelling at me."

"Just give her some time to cool off," Kendall suggested. "I'm sure she'll come around."

* * *

><p>The next day, during his break, Hannah found Logan eating his lunch in the corner alone. "Hey," she said.<p>

Logan looked up, hearing her voice. "Hey," he said back uneasily.

"We're doing arts and crafts with the kids today, so I hope you don't mind getting messy," she told him. "We have a giant bag of marshmallows and toothpicks, so I was thinking you could show them how to do some simple structures. I've got like, a ton of finger paint too in case they want to switch. Then we've got kiddie pool duty for an hour. Cool?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Cool."

A moment passed awkwardly between them, and Hannah stood there waiting for Logan, who looked like he had something else to say.

"Should we… should we uh, talk about, you know, what happened?" Logan said finally.

Hannah cocked her head to the side. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know… I'm sorry we ended up on the front page of a gossip blog."

She shrugged. "No big. Comes with the territory when you live in Beverly Hills and your best friend is practically a supermodel. Can I ask you something though?"

"Yeah, sure."

"That girl, Camille... She's not, like your girlfriend, is she? Because I never would have done that if I knew—"

"She's not my girlfriend," Logan reassured her. "We dated for awhile, but we're not together and we haven't been for a long time now."

"Okay then."

"Okay? That's it?" Logan was surprised that Hannah seemed wholly unconcerned with the fact that they'd drunkenly made out and had their pictures plastered all over the internet.

"Well, yeah," Hannah said, lowering her voice. "Look, we were kind of wasted, agreed?" Logan nodded, smiling a little in spite of himself. "Then just let that be it. We had a good time. I don't need you to tell me you love me or think you took advantage of me or whatever else is going through your head. You think too much for your own good sometimes. If you want to hang out again, let me know. If not, then, we might as well not spend all summer being awkward since we still have to work and we're gonna be going to the same school in the fall."

He couldn't argue with that. "Alright. Let's build some marshmallow towers then."

* * *

><p>"<em>If I ruled the world, I'd throw all the money in the air like confetti<em>

_If I ruled the world, every house gotta DJ and a backyard party  
>And I'd break all the borders down when I shake the ground<br>If I ruled the world, I'd dream out loud." _

Kendall, James, and Carlos continued working on the song while they waited for Logan to get back from his shift down at the pool, and they were fairly happy with their progress so far. They'd added in a few lines to what Logan had come up with over the weekend, and they thought that they could probably finish the song soon, if Logan would ever get home so they could all do it together.

"_So everybody get up, up, outta your seats  
>Kick off your shoes like you're down at the beach<br>And jump up, up, up on the beat, singin' ayo, ayo, ayo_

_Up, up, outta your seats  
>Be who you are, love is all you need<br>All of us, geeks, freaks, and wannabes  
>Singin' ayo, if I ruled the world<em>

_I would give it, give it all to you  
>Give it, give it, give it all to you<br>If I ruled the world, I would give it, give it all to you,  
>Give it, give it, give it all to you<em>

_If you were my girl, you'd never have to worry about another thing, no…" _

"We just need to fill in the second verse a little bit more," James said. "All we have is that one line."

"I know, I'm just totally blocked," Kendall sighed. "Maybe we aren't cut out to be song writers."

"Don't say that," Carlos said, trying to remain positive. "You did whole melody of the song by yourself. And the one line we have for the second verse is the one you came up with."

"I guess you're right. I just wish Logan would hurry up and get here so he could help us."

Right on cue, Logan walked into the basement. He'd worn a simple dark blue v-neck to work that day, but when he came in, the other boys saw that it now had quite a few red, green, yellow, and purple prints and splotches on it. Up near his shoulder was a tiny orange, clearly defined handprint. And stuck in his hair was a small marshmallow.

"What happened to you?" Carlos asked.

"Finger painting," Logan said, shuddering slightly. "Tell me. Who thinks it's a good idea to let five year olds go crazy with paint and marshmallows? I look like a rainbow threw up on me."

Carlos picked the marshmallow out of Logan's hair, and Kendall slapped his hand before he could pop it into his mouth. Wincing slightly, Carlos dropped it, pouting a little.

"Well, the pool closes in three weeks, and then it's back to school for us," James said. "And you won't have to worry about dealing with little kids all day."

"Yeah. Did you guys finish the song?"

"Not yet," Kendall replied. "We were waiting for you so we could finish it together."

Logan grabbed a guitar and the boys played through what they had.

"…_You'd never have to worry about another thing, no,  
>Cause I'd rule the world, and you'd be right next to me running the show<br>We'd throw every rule in the book out  
>If you were my girl, we'd dream out loud."<em>

Logan added the last three lines to the second verse.

"Nice!" Carlos said. "I think we got it!"

"For sure," James agreed. "We just add in the hook and the chorus after that verse, and then maybe Logan can add a rap before we do the chorus one last time."

"I don't know," Logan said dubiously. "I've never written my own rap, Gustavo always wrote them in because I couldn't sing."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "You wrote like half of this song by yourself, you can write the rap."

Logan took a deep breath. "Fine, play it again."

They went through the song again and when it came time, Logan free-styled a rap.

"_If this was my world, I'd be king of the hill  
>Hey, yo, we're Big Time Rush, keepin' it real<br>Magic carpets, girl we'd go wherever,  
>I ain't tryin' to run game, I ain't tryin'a be clever<br>Girl, I would be the king and you would be my queen  
>Goin' a hundred miles an hour, girl, we runnin' the streets<br>And if the cops ever try and pull us over,  
>We'd tell him, hey Mr. Officer, we own ya.<em>"

"Sweet!" Carlos exclaimed. "That was awesome."

Even Kendall was impressed. "It was. You guys, we just wrote a song! By ourselves. With no help from Gustavo!"

They ran through the song twice more with the guitars, keyboard, and drums and all the lyrics. Kendall's mom finally came downstairs with Katie to find out what all the fuss was about.

"Mom!" Kendall said excitedly. "We finished a song!"

"That's wonderful, boys," Mrs. Knight said, smiling warmly at them.

"Let's hear it," Katie said. She pulled out her camera to record the occasion.

The boys performed their newly finished song for Mrs. Knight and Katie, who showed them the video when they were done.

"That's so legit," James said. "We should put it online."

"You think?" Kendall said.

"Yeah! We can put it up to show the fans that just cause our label put us on hiatus doesn't mean we're quitting or giving up."

"I think it's a good idea," Logan agreed. "We can see what kind of response we get to it, see if people like it."

Kendall nodded slowly, thinking about it. "Okay," he said. "Let's do it."

Carlos let out a whoop and left with James and Katie to go upload their video. Maybe, just maybe, their hiatus would turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright! Tell me what you thought about the fight between Logan and Camille!<strong>


	8. Vanity

**Time for a James chapter, no? Get comfy, it's a long one. **

Chapter 8: Vanity

_Touch me, t-touch me, baby, but don't mess up my hair  
>Love me, l-love me crazy, but don't get too attached, this is a brief affair<em>

* * *

><p>A week or so passed, and Carlos had his last day on the movie set, but his director told him in confidence that he had a few projects lined up, and Carlos would certainly be welcome to continue as his assistant if the scheduling worked out with school and all. Luckily, he wouldn't have to deal with that anymore, and now he had money (though he would probably have to use it all to buy clothes for school in accordance with the dress code, he thought with a grimace), and he still had a week to relax before junior year started.<p>

James was doing well at the modeling agency. It seemed his love of getting comical amounts of head shots really had prepared him for life in front of a camera—he was a natural. What he didn't enjoy was being inspected by designers and photographers from head to toe while standing in his underwear in front of a room full of strangers. He was confident, but not even _the _James Diamond was down for being scrutinized under a microscope.

Kendall was still stressed with trying to help his mom with money, knowing that she would have to buy him and Katie new clothes for school, as well as pay for Katie's ice skating lessons, and all the bills that came with living in Gustavo's mansion. She tried to assure him that things would be fine—she picked up extra shifts at the restaurant whenever she could, and was often tipped generously when she bartended—but Kendall didn't seem to believe her. What he didn't know was that Logan and James really had gone to their parents behind his back and asked them to send Mrs. Knight more money, which they both did gladly. Logan and James asked Mrs. Knight not to say anything to Kendall about it, and she didn't, knowing how sensitive he was about this subject.

As for Logan, the pool had closed down for the summer, but since it was located on the property of a country club, he had options for switching to a different job once the school year started. He wasn't sure yet if he would take them up on that offer, because he had, of course, signed himself up for a lot of AP classes. He wanted to make sure he could handle school before he committed to another job. He had bravely called Camille once and texted her twice, and she had responded to none of his attempts to reach her so far. Logan didn't want to give up, but he couldn't see any way of making her talk to him again. He guessed he'd just have to cool it for the time being and let her come to him when she was ready to forgive him. _If _she ever would be ready. He and Hannah, however, had been getting along quite well, with only minimal awkwardness after their little 'incident.'

The video of the boys playing their new song had gotten a lot of comments from fans, and Hollywood Teen Beat had even featured it on their website. The boys were starting to have a very intense love-hate relationship with the site. On the one hand, the free publicity for their song was nice, but on the other, their lives were much more open to the public than they ever had been before. In the past week alone, HTB had posted pictures of Kendall working at the grocery store, of Carlos on the set of the movie he was working on, of Logan being pushed in the pool by a bunch of little kids, and a video of James behind the scenes of a photo shoot he worked on. It was a little cumbersome for the boys—they weren't _that _famous (yet), but it seemed like they were becoming more so _because_ of their hiatus, rather than in spite of it.

On the Tuesday before school was set to start, all four boys had some free time, and so they decided to head to the mall in order to find some school clothes. They were all still a little upset at the fact that they'd have to wear uniforms (mostly James), and Carlos was not liking the fact that he'd have to leave his helmet at home during the day. Logan tried to reason with them, saying that since they didn't have to decide what to wear, that meant they could sleep later in the mornings. This did cheer Carlos up a little—he was notorious for trying to sleep until the last possible minute.

That same day, their class schedules and homeroom assignments came in the mail. Logan had signed himself for AP Everything and given himself no free period, and he had made sure that the other guys wouldn't get off too easy with their own schedules, though he refrained from subjecting them to the extremeness of his course load.

"Lo-gan," Carlos whined, drawing out the 'o' sound, "you signed me up for AP Spanish? Why?"

"Because," Logan said, "junior year is just as important as senior year when thinking about college! You don't want to look like some slacker on your applications!"

"When are we gonna have time to go to college?" Carlos protested again. "We're in a band, hello!"

Logan almost looked offended at this statement. "That's no reason to give up on our education!"

"Just 'cause _you_ wanna be doctor…" Carlos grumbled under his breath, skulking off to his room.

James' phone rang loudly, and he took it out to find that his agent, Janice, was calling him.

"Hello?... What? But I'm off today!... Fine… Okay... Yes... I won't. See you soon."

"What was that about?" Kendall asked as James shut the flip phone.

"I have to get to the agency ASAP. There's a shoot-director and a photographer coming in and they want to hand-pick a guy and a girl model for their shoot, which is tonight," James said, frustrated. "I probably won't even get picked, which just means I'm going to spend the rest of the day being told that I'm too tall or too thin or too muscle-y or whatever else they can come up with that's wrong with me."

"Do they really tell you that?" Logan asked, interested.

James shrugged. "Everyone has something different in mind when they cast for models, so if you don't look like what they're picturing in their head, then you automatically suck. Last week I was told that I was too skinny and too built, both on the same day."

"That's ridiculous," Kendall said. "Why do you put yourself through that?"

"This face deserves to be on billboards, K-dawg," James said, grinning. "Anyway, I'm off. Catch you guys later."

When James made it to the agency, he found that he was the last guy to arrive.

"Nice of you to join us," his agent said dryly. She was a tall woman with long, dark hair and a brisk attitude that clearly exuded the fact that she was not to be messed with. "The girls are doing test shots right now. Once they finish up, you boys will go in, then they'll narrow it down to three guys and three girls and pair you up and pick one of each for the shoot."

They found out that the ad they would be shooting for was for a perfume campaign. The group of around 12 guys all stuck around in the lobby area of the agency waiting for the girls to get done with test shots, chatting or smoking or listening to iPods. When the girls were finally released, it was the boys' turn, and James nodded a hello to Michelle, whom he hadn't been able to speak much to since the party. They all lined up and the director looked them up and down, stopping in front of someone every so often to get a closer look at their face or play with their hair. When the director got to James, he paused and frowned, as if he was thinking hard about something. He summoned his assistant with a snap of his fingers, who brought him a small tube of gel. The photographer squeezed a fair amount into the palm of his hand, and in a succession of quick motions, slicked James' hair back from his face. The director nodded, happy with his handiwork, and continued down the line. James was one of seven chosen to go ahead with test shots, and the other five boys were allowed to go home.

For the test shots, all the boys were made to take their shirts and shoes off. James still felt a little awkward hanging out with a bunch of shirtless guys, but he tried to shake it off. Nathan, Michelle's boyfriend, was up first. He'd been modeling for about a year now, and was very comfortable in front of the camera, and had no qualms about showing his body—it was all part of the job as far as he was concerned. Nathan wasn't quite as tall as James, and he had light brown hair that he usually wore gelled down, similar to Logan's. The boys were given four test shots each before the director moved on to the next boy. Once they were all finished, the boys were told to wait until the director and photographer had narrowed down their choices. James put his shirt back on, but Nathan didn't bother.

Back in the lobby, Michelle and Naomi, the blonde girl who'd been at the party, were sitting on a couch reading magazines, wearing only swimsuits. The other girls were lounging around waiting to be told when they could leave. James got along well with both girls, but Nathan wasn't the biggest fan of him, especially because they often competed to book jobs, and more often than not it came down to the two of them, with one or the other winning the job. They had never fought or even argued, but the underlying sense of rivalry was evident.

"Hey," Michelle said, looking up as the two boys approached. She pulled her long hair into a ponytail and pinned her bangs away from her face.

"What's up?" James asked, taking a seat across from her.

Naomi shrugged. "I hate that we got called in today. All I want to do is sleep for about twelve hours straight. At this point I don't know if I'd be more upset if I got the job or if I didn't get it."

"Same here," James said. "I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up with all of this once school starts."

"You're going to be at West Beverly Hills, right?" Michelle said.

James nodded.

"You'll like it," Naomi said. "We all do. Well, as much as you can like school."

"What about the uniforms though?"

"You get used to it. They're not as hideous as you'd think, and they do let us accessorize pretty freely."

"It's really not so bad," Michelle chimed in. "Most people actually really like it because they don't really have to worry about what they look like since everyone looks equally ridiculous."

James was a bit skeptical of this. The wealthiest teens in LA could go around in public not caring what they looked like? He'd believe it if and when he saw it.

After what seemed forever, the announcements were finally made on the three boys and girls that the director had narrowed his choices to. True to form, James' and Nathan's names were both called, along with another guy named Grant. Michelle's name was called for the girls, but Naomi was told she could go home for the day. She was a little peeved.

"Awesome," she muttered under her breath as she gathered her things. "I _love _sitting in the freezing lobby in a swimsuit on my day off for no reason."

She wandered away with the other hopeful models who'd been turned down.

"Okay!" the director called to them. "Pay attention, boys and girls! You six were my favorites today but I can only choose two for the shoot tonight! I will do test shots right now of every boy paired with every girl! You will have exactly five shots to impress me! I will choose the pair with the best chemistry for the job tonight. It needs to be steamy, sexy, passionate, but tasteful and elegant! I hope you aren't shy because you will have to get up close and personal for this."

Grant was up first, posing shirtless with a scary-thin redhead who James thought was called Melody or Madeleine, and who wore only a black lacy bra and matching panties. James thought Grant looked a little awkward, but he might have just been projecting what he wanted since he kind of hoped to get the job. Nathan elbowed him lightly in the ribs to get his attention. James bent his head forward a little to listen.

"Grant looks a little tense, wouldn't you say?" Nathan whispered, a smirk tugging at his lips. James nodded. "It's 'cause he lost his V-card to _Madison_ two weeks ago, and she has yet to acknowledge his existence again since then."

"Ooh, ouch," James winced. "Poor guy." Nathan snorted quietly.

Grant posed next with the blonde girl that had been chosen, and finally with Michelle, who had let her black hair fall back down in easy waves. Nathan went next, posing with Madison, then with the blonde, and finally Michelle. He didn't want to admit it, but James thought that against Nathan and Michelle, he didn't have a chance. They were a real life couple; they had all the chemistry the director was looking for, and they had known each other for a long time, so they were super comfortable with each other. When finally it was James' turn, he knew that he was not on his A-game when posing with Madison, especially after what Nathan had just told him about her and Grant. He stepped it and tried to be more professional when posing with the blonde, but he could tell the director wasn't feeling it.

Michelle smiled at him when it was her turn to pose with him, and he felt more at ease instantly. She put a hand on his chest and wrapped her other around his neck, pulling him down close to her. Their eyes met and he heard the click of the camera. _One. _One hand went to her bare waist. _Two. _He straightened up and looked down at her. They stood stomach to stomach, and James inexplicably felt his heart start racing a little. He interlocked their fingers and Michelle turned her head to smolder her green eyes into the camera lens while his eyes remained on her. _Three. _A little braver, James snaked his right arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She tangled her fingers in his hair and their eyes met again. _Four. _One more frame. Michelle reached to put a hand to his cheek lightly, and this time his hand found its way to the back of her neck to twine into her slightly messy tresses. They didn't realize that their foreheads were practically touching until they heard the final click of the camera. _Five. _

Michelle blinked, as if just noticing where she was and quickly disentangled herself from James. He felt warm all over and he was breathing harder than he should have been. Michelle was already halfway across the room, reaching for Nathan's outstretched hand. James met Nate's eyes, which were clearly shooting daggers at him for daring to be so _intimate _with his girlfriend. Nathan abruptly stopped and pointedly pulled Michelle into a long kiss, as if to show James who she belonged to. Michelle playfully pushed him away but just as they walked through the door and back to the lobby, she turned for a split second and made eye contact with James, the briefest bit of regret flashing on her face. The moment passed so quickly that James couldn't be sure it had happened at all.

He grabbed a bottle of water, inexplicably drained. This wasn't even the real photo shoot, for crying out loud. Within minutes, the modeling agent came out and dismissed Grant, Madison, and the other girl and thanked them for coming in.

"You're in, Michelle," Janice said. "You two boys sit tight. They haven't decided which of you to pair her with yet."

Several eternities passed while James and Nathan sat in silence waiting for the news. Neither boy caved and spoke to the other, but the awkward tension mounted with every passing minute. When Janice returned, both James and Nathan stood up to receive the verdict. She smiled at Nathan, who didn't dare smile back until he heard the words.

Unfortunately for him, they never came.

"They want you, James," Janice said.

James was stoked, but he made sure not to celebrate too much right in front of Nathan. Janice handed him a card with the information on the location for the photo shoot. He'd need to be on set in three hours so he could get into hair, make-up, and wardrobe. Nathan looked pissed but didn't say a thing as he hunted around the lobby for his shoes and shirt. Michelle came back in to say goodbye, and Nathan left the agency without a backward glance at James.

"Congratulations," she told James.

"Thanks. You too." James tried not to stare as she put on her street clothes over the swim suit she was wearing.

"So. Three hours. Wanna hang out for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure. Look, I'm starving, can we get some food or something?"

"Sure. I'll drive," Michelle said, pulling out her car keys.

Michelle wasn't a very talkative girl, so James didn't try to press her for conversation as they drove. The silence between them wasn't tense or awkward, and James found himself enjoying her company despite the fact that they were barely speaking.

"I saw you guys on Hollywood Teen Beat. You know, from the night of my party," she commented after a while.

"Oh… yeah. It was really weird waking up the next morning and seeing that."

"Sorry I never really got a chance to talk to you after all that."

"No worries," James replied smoothly. "We've been busy."

"Yeah. But I did want to make sure you and your boys were all okay. Did you get a lot of shit for the pictures?"

James shook his head. "Kendall's mom never even found out, and if our label did, they didn't care because no one said anything to us about it. We were pretty stoked that we got away with all that."

"You should be proud," Michelle smirked. "Not everyone can handle a McKinney Twins party and come out unscathed."

"It was pretty wild. Definitely not like the parties in Minnesota. Do you guys always get down like that?"

Michelle shrugged. "I guess so. We're teenagers, we're bored, we have money, we have little to no parental guidance or supervision, and we have more time than we know what to do with, for the most part," she answered, being surprisingly candid. "But back to you. You guys have never done anything like that before?"

"You mean like, drugs?" James asked. Michelle nodded.

"Kendall and I have smoked pot before… We've all done the whole 'cheap beer at high school parties' thing," he replied. "It's never gotten any more serious than that, until your party. And lemme tell ya, I did _not _think Logan would be the one to try a hard drug at a party."

"Why not?"

"Because he's Logan," James replied simply. "He's the smart one, the responsible one. The one who keeps us in check. He wants to be a doctor someday."

"And yet he's in LA trying to make it in the fame machine, just like everyone else in this town."

She pulled into the parking lot of a small restaurant, but neither of them got out of the car. She rolled the windows down and took out her pack of cigarettes and lit one up. She offered one to James, but he refused.

"You want to know a secret? I don't think he'd be here if it weren't for me. I don't mean it in a conceited way. But he knew this is was my shot. It was what I wanted, and he wanted to help me pursue it, so he came. That's why all my friends came."

"That's a big step to take for a friend."

"We'd do anything for each other. I'd have done the same for any of them."

"You guys are really close." It wasn't a question. An observation.

The two went into the restaurant and continued talking, wasting time until it was time to show up at the set of their photo shoot. Michelle ordered a salad though she didn't eat much of it, but James was starving and ordered a big meal. He insisted on paying the bill since she was driving, and Michelle didn't protest.

When they arrived on set, people were rushing around everywhere and they were quickly ushered to an area containing a rack of clothes and a makeshift hair/make-up room. They were pulled into chairs by stylists, who immediately began working. Michelle's stylist combed through her hair, de-tangling it from the day, and rubbed a serum through it that made it shine as if she'd just washed and dried it. She set about creating loose waves that looked windblown and natural, finishing up by adding copious amounts of hairspray to keep it in place. Meanwhile, James' stylist combed his hair back from his face, much like the director had done earlier in the day. He slicked the hair back again with styling gel, mussing it up slightly here and there to create the same windblown effect that Michelle's stylist had done. When the two stylists were done prodding their heads, assuring themselves that their creations would last through the shoot, two make-up artists approached.

James and Michelle were each given cleaning wipes so they could rid their faces of any oil or previous makeup. James was put in basic stage make-up in order not to be washed out by the lighting effects, and they rimmed his eyes with the slightest bit of liner so they would stand out more. Michelle's makeup took quite a bit longer. Her make-up artist applied concealer under her eyes and proceeded to add foundation and blush, along with a pair of false eyelashes, some dramatic purple eye-shadow and liner, and a light-colored lipstick. Finally, a couple of manicurists came up to the pair of teens and began filing and buffing their nails. Michelle's were painted to match her eye-shadow.

Lastly came the wardrobe. With no thoughts or concerns for their modesty, they were ordered to strip down to their underwear and try on their first outfits. James and Michelle turned their backs to each other and did as they were told. James was given a simple pair of black slacks and dress shoes with a white button-down. He buttoned up the shirt all the way, but almost instantly the wardrobe person unbuttoned his top two buttons and cuffed his sleeves up to his elbows. He turned to find Michelle with her back still to him, wearing only a pair of light green panties, with her arms crossed over her bare chest—there'd been a problem with the dress she was supposed to wear. James felt a blush creeping onto his cheeks as Michelle turned to find him staring at her. Embarrassed at being caught, he ducked his head and looked away, not seeing the wry smile that crossed her face. He wondered how she could stand there practically naked and not feel completely uneasy and awkward.

Michelle's wardrobe person finally brought the dress back, having fixed the zipper, and helped her into it. She tapped James on the shoulder when she was ready, and the headed towards the set. The director was overseeing the lighting designer while the photographer shot some test frames. Since this photo shoot was for a women's fragrance, they shot several frames of just Michelle holding a bottle of the perfume. James eventually joined her and he tried to shake off the nerves that had inexplicably begun to rattle him.

"Okay! Give me sexy! Give me passion! Give me elegance!" the director shouted at them.

As the photo shoot went on, James found himself tuning out everything but Michelle. He focused not on the directions being shouted at him, nor on the incessant clicking of the camera, nor on the bright lights shining in his face. It was as if he and Michelle had been modeling together for years. He held her tightly against his body and she wrapped her arms around him, sometimes looking into his eyes and sometimes gazing into the lens of the camera. He nuzzled her neck, boldly planting kisses along her collarbone, justifying it in his mind by saying to himself that it was all to get some good photographs, nothing more. Their director was practically peeing himself with excitement; the models were even better than he'd anticipated, and the photographs were turning out wonderfully, with all the fire and edge he wanted.

"All right, guys! Ten frames to go! Really bring it!"

James and Michelle brought it. Just before the last frame, their eyes met once again, and without thinking, James leaned down, closed his eyes, and kissed her zealously.

"Yes! That was it! Beautiful!" the director shouted, breaking him out of the moment. "That's a wrap!"

Michelle once again disentangled herself from James, and took a step back, looking at him thoughtfully, but said nothing. She brought her hand to her mouth, touching the spot where their lips had just met. James was mentally preparing himself for a hard slap to the face.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, running a hand through his hair nervously. "I didn't mean to do that."

"I know," she replied simply.

"It was just for the shot," he explained, feeling the need to further justify his action.

"I know."

"Nate will understand, right? It was just for the ad."

"I know."

"…You kissed me back," he said, suddenly realizing it.

"I know." Where James had nervously tried to explain himself, Michelle did no such thing. She merely stepped around him and walked back towards the rack of clothes to change out of her wardrobe. He followed slowly, since she had given no indication that she was angry with him or didn't want to be around him.

"Unzip me?" Michelle asked, holding her hair out of the way.

James swallowed and nodded, and she turned her back to him. He unzipped the dress for her, his fingertips lightly tracing her back.

"Thanks," she said, holding the strapless dress up with one arm.

James was confused from all the mixed signals he was getting from Michelle. He'd _kissed _her, knowing that she had a boyfriend. Sure, it was part of the photo shoot, but she'd definitely kissed him back, and now she was just refusing to acknowledge it.

Michelle drove him home. It was nearly midnight by the time she pulled up to the mansion. She stopped the car and he fidgeted a moment, trying to decide if he should say anything about what had happened.

Reading his mind, Michelle spoke first. "I have to tell Nate, you know."

James let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "How pissed will he be? Scale of one to ten."

Michelle smirked. "Twelve. But I'll tell him it was just for the job."

"And… was it? Just for the job, I mean?"

Michelle looked down, suddenly very interested in inspecting her nails. "It was just a kiss, James. Don't read too much into it."

"You kissed me back," he reminded her again. "You felt something too, don't act like I was—"

He was interrupted by her yanking on the collar of his shirt and pulling him towards her. Their lips met for the second time that night, and James forgot momentarily that they were in the driveway of his house, in full view of the front door. He forgot that Michelle had a boyfriend who would _not _appreciate the things she was doing to him at this moment. He deepened their kiss, opening his mouth and running his tongue along her bottom lip, silently asking a question he knew she would agree to. Her grip on his hair tightened as she allowed him entrance to her mouth, and he rested a hand on her shoulder, near the nape of her neck, using his fingertips to trace small circles on her skin.

Michelle inhaled sharply as he broke away and pressed kisses along her jawline toward her throat. She tasted salty-sweet, and James swiped his tongue out, savoring the moment. She craned her neck, giving him better access, which he took advantage of by nipping gently.

"No biting," she whispered. "No marks."

The words seemed to pull both of them back into the present. James' ragged breath matched Michelle's, and he could still feel the place where she had pulled his hair.

"I'd better go," he said, reaching for the door handle.

"Bye," she answered breathlessly, buckling her seatbelt again. She was off as soon as he shut the passenger side door.

James made his way up to his room, not bothering to check if anyone was awake.

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><p><strong>What's James getting himself into? <strong>**Reviews please, pretty readers? **


	9. School Daze

**Thanks so much for the comments. They're what's keeping me going right now! Hope you like the new chapter!**

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><p>Chapter 9: School Daze<p>

When a girl in a mini skirt and high heels walked by without so much as a glance at the popular boy band standing in the doorway, Logan wondered for the first time in his life if going to school was going to be a good idea. Everywhere he looked, it seemed, were the gorgeous, the privileged, the unaffected boys and girls of West Beverly Hills High School. Jocks swaggered down the halls in their letterman's jackets, girls strutted around in short skirts. All of them walked with a purpose, and none of them gave a moment's notice to the four new boys wandering the halls, too absorbed in their conversations, or busy chatting on cell phones, or texting while walking.

Maybe they _were _in over their heads here.

Logan had done some research. West Beverly had a reputation for intense academic pressure, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, scandals ranging from inappropriate teacher-student relationships to grade-padding so that star athletes could compete, and being an overall den of hedonism for its beyond-wealthy students. Nearly all of its students went on to study at Ivy League universities, or play on Division I teams. The students were the children of corporate business owners, of famous music producers, of renowned doctors and lawyers, and of notorious tabloid movie stars. They were the elite teens of LA, many of whom were gaining notoriety themselves as socialites, or as aspiring singers or actors or filmmakers or athletes.

The four boys tried to find their way in the huge school. On the bright side, at least their lockers were all in the same hallway. At Mrs. Knight's (and Logan's) insistence, the boys had arrived to school quite early, so once they had all found their lockers and put away the random school supplies they were free to roam the halls, looking for classrooms and locating the cafeteria. Logan noticed that they were now getting some stares and whispers. Not that he was being conceited or anything, but this was what he'd expected. After all, Big Time Rush was pretty popular in the California area. And the Minnesota area, but that was neither here nor there. Kendall ignored the attention as usual, James straightened up and smoothed his hair as usual, and Carlos was oblivious as usual. When they circled back around and found the hallway containing their lockers again, they found a place to sit and wait for the bell to ring.

"Hey, Diamond!"

They boys all turned to see an angry looking boy approaching them. James stood up, and the other three followed suit, smelling the scent of a fight in the air. Over Nathan's shoulder, James could see Michelle standing a few feet away, looking annoyed as she came up behind him and grabbed onto his wrist.

"Nate, stop! This is not the place."

Nathan shook her off and shoved James backwards into a row of lockers. "Stay away from my girlfriend, Diamond."

Kendall angrily stepped forward. "Hey! What's your problem, man?"

"My problem is your pretty-boy friend over there, putting his hands on my girlfriend."

"_Nate!" _Michelle hissed, trying not to cause a scene. "I told you it was just for the ad!"

"Yeah, why don't you back off?" Kendall said, poking Nathan in the chest.

Nathan smacked Kendall's hand away from him. "You back off and stay out of this. This is between me and him," he said, glaring over at James.

James put a hand on Kendall's shoulder. "Let me handle this… Look," he addressed Nathan. "I'm sorry I kissed Michelle, but it was just for the shoot, dude. The director wanted some heat."

"Yeah, and I bet you were all too happy to give it to him, weren't you, Diamond? You better watch yourself," he sneered. The first bell rang and he stalked off down the hallway to his first class, leaving Kendall, Logan, and Carlos to stare at James in confusion.

"I'll explain later," James muttered to Kendall and Logan. He grabbed his backpack roughly and headed off to his first class, U.S. History, which he had with Carlos.

"What's going on?" Carlos asked as soon as they were out of earshot of the other boys.

James stopped abruptly and Carlos bumped into him. "I think this is our classroom," he said, avoiding Carlos' eyes by checking his schedule. The door was open and there were several students milling about, as the late bell hadn't yet rung and the teacher was nowhere in sight. A few of the girls whispered to each other as James and Carlos passed them, heading to the back corner.

James took the very last chair in the row farthest from the door and Carlos opted for the spot directly in front of him, fidgeting with his white button down shirt, which had already come untucked. Carlos raised an eyebrow at James, who still hadn't answered his question, but before he could do anything to make James talk, their teacher walked through the door and seconds later the bell rang.

"Good morning, class," the teacher said brightly. A few students mumbled hello in response. "For those of you who don't know, I'm Mr. Arnold." He began passing out course descriptions and expectations. The sheet of paper detailed how students would be graded based on homework, quizzes, tests, and participation, and gave his list of classroom rules ranging from 'No Gum Chewing' to 'No Cell Phones.'

Next, he called roll, and a couple of girls giggled as he called, "Diamond, James" and "Garcia, Carlos."

Getting right down to business, Mr. Arnold spent the rest of the period outlining the first chapter of their textbook, which they were to finish reading by Thursday. James liked history enough, but he couldn't believe they were already being assigned homework on the first day. Talk about unfair.

When the bell rang signaling the end of the period, Carlos jolted up in his seat, having already dozed off momentarily. He tapped his head to wake himself up, frowning when he remembered he wasn't wearing his helmet. However, now that he was awake, he had other matters to attend to.

"So," he started, waiting for James to finish repacking his backpack.

James sighed and began talking, knowing he couldn't avoid the subject forever. "Remember that photo shoot I had to go to the other day? The day we went shopping for clothes? I kissed Michelle during the shoot, and the director wants to use that picture for the main ads."

Carlos' jaw dropped. "Wow."

"Yeah, and as you witnessed there in the hallway, Michelle's dating Nathan, so now Nathan's pissed at me. I'm surprised he didn't give me a black eye."

"I can't believe you made that mistake _again,_" Carlos said tactlessly. "I mean you'd think after what happened with you and Camille and Logan—"

"Man, you think I don't know that?" James interrupted. "It just…happened! Anyway, I gotta book it. I have Drama next and I don't even know where the theater is."

"Catch you later." Carlos and James fist-bumped and headed off in opposite directions. Carlos had barely taken five steps before he was stopped by a teacher who made him tuck his shirt back in.

James walked into the theater, where there were some boys and girls standing around talking to each other, catching up on the summer. He was surprised to see that Michelle was in the class, chatting with a couple of girls. He approached the group and one girl stopped talking abruptly as he walked up to them. He tapped Michelle's shoulder.

"Hey," she greeted, looking up at him.

"What's up?"

She led him away from the girls she was standing with so they could talk privately. "Look, I'm sorry about Nate this morning. I told him about the photo shoot last night. I thought he'd cool off by now."

"It's no big deal. I'd have probably done the same if I were him… You didn't tell him about… you know. In the car?"

Michelle shook her head no. "There's no need for that."

"You're not gonna tell him at all? I mean, I should probably thank you, 'cause I really don't want to get beat up. But don't you think he deserves to know?"

Michelle crossed her arms. "Don't judge me, James," she replied, sounding slightly angry. "And don't make any assumptions about what's best for _my _relationship."

When the teacher arrived she made each student introduce and talk a little bit about themselves, saying that in Drama, there was no room for shyness—everyone must be comfortable speaking in front of crowds. After the introductions, they spent the rest of the period doing simple enunciation exercises, which they would continue with throughout the rest of the week.

After Drama, James had a free period and then Physics with Kendall. James walked in and took a seat in the far back corner again. Kendall came in a few moments later, bee-lining for the seat next to James.

"You kissed Michelle?"

"What? How do you already know?" James asked, taken aback.

"Carlos had Spanish with Logan for second period, and for third period, Logan had History with me. And now we're here."

"And of course Carlos and Logan can't keep their mouths shut," James grumbled. He wasn't really angry with them, he was just a little frustrated.

"Why should they?" Kendall scoffed. "We don't keep secrets from each other."

"It wasn't really a secret," James answered. "It was just acting."

"I've heard that before," Kendall said pointedly.

"Don't remind me about Camille, please," James scowled. "Carlos already did that, thank you very much."

Kendall opened his mouth to argue some more, but the bell rang, effectively ending their conversation. He thought that maybe there was more to this story than James was letting on, but he decided not to call him out on it just yet.

Mr. Cordell was possibly the most boring teacher alive. Twenty minutes into class, both boys were doodling in their otherwise blank notebooks, and looking around surreptitiously, James noticed that many other students were doing the same. Only a handful of students near the front of the room seemed to be paying any attention at all; the rest had their heads resting in their hands, were drawing in their notebooks, or texting with their phones in their laps. None of this apparently bothered Mr. Cordell at all, as he lectured through the end of the period without pausing once.

"Are there any questions?" he asked the class as the bell rang.

It was the fastest James had ever seen a classroom clear out. He didn't know whether it was to get away from Mr. Cordell, or because this meant it was time for lunch. He and Kendall made their way to the hallway where their lockers were located and found that Logan was already waiting for them, leaning up against his locker. He had his phone pulled out and a happy look on his face as he typed a message.

"How can you look so happy? It's the first day of school," James said, rolling his eyes at Logan.

"Please," Kendall said. "That's probably _why _he looks happy. Nothing turns Logan on more than some Honors Pre-Calculus."

Logan shoved Kendall lightly. "Shut up. Camille finally texted me back."

"No way. Nice!"

"Yeah. She told me to call her later and we could talk. She didn't seem like she was still pissed at me."

"That's good," James said. "Maybe you two will finally get your shit together."

Carlos finally approached the boys.

"I didn't recognize you from a distance without your helmet," Kendall commented.

"You're even shorter without it," James teased.

"Shut up," Carlos replied. "Anyway, I almost didn't recognize _you _guys because everyone looks the freakin' same. I've never seen this much khaki and navy blue in my life. And," he said, pausing to tuck his shirt back into his navy blue pants, "I never wear my shirts like this. I've already gotten in trouble three times today."

"Maybe if you weren't so fidgety, your shirt would stay in," Logan told him. "Can we go eat now? I'm starving."

"Ditto," James spoke up.

The boys had opted to bring their lunch today rather than buy from the cafeteria. Kendall's mom had sweetly written each boy's initials on the brown paper bags containing their lunches, and had taken time to make sure none of them were given something they didn't like. Hence, Carlos was packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Kendall and James were both given turkey sandwiches (Kendall's with no crust and James' on wheat bread), and Logan had been given a tuna salad sandwich. She had also given each boy some type of fruit, chips or crackers, and their preferred color of Gatorade. They were lucky enough to find an empty table in the large the café that was crowded with students. It was a long rectangular table with benches attached on either side. They sat down and were telling each other about their days so far when someone tapped Logan on the shoulder from behind.

"Excuse me, but you seem to be sitting in my seat," came a familiar voice.

Logan turned to see Hannah grinning down at him, holding a lunch tray and standing with a brown-haired Hispanic girl who James recognized from his Drama class.

He grinned back at her. "I didn't know the cafeteria seating arrangements were assigned."

"Oh yeah," she teased. "It's like a scene straight out of Mean Girls. Varsity jocks, JV jocks, marching band, freshmen… everyone has a spot."

"So what spot is this that we've commandeered?" He and Kendall slid down closer to the end of the table, making room for Hannah and her friend.

"Popular kids, of course," Hannah said matter-of-factly. "This is Anya, by the way. Anya, that's Kendall, and this is Logan, James, and Carlos."

Anya waved at the boys. "We had class together this morning, right?" she said, addressing James.

"Yeah, Drama."

Michelle walked up to the table with Nathan and Naomi, both of whom looked mildly surprised to see the BTR boys sitting at their table. Neither said anything about it, though Nathan aimed a scowl in James' direction. Soon after, Michelle's twin brother Derek came and sat down as well, along with his friend Scott, whom Logan remembered as the guy who'd brought the drugs to Michelle's party, and the quiet girl, Holly. He was surprised at how quickly their table had filled—he'd fully expected that he and the other three guys would be eating lunch alone. They were the new kids, after all. It was like some cliché rite of passage to sit in the corner alone on your first day at a new school.

However, everyone (save for Nate maybe) was perfectly friendly to them. After everyone was properly introduced, Derek and Scott talked to Kendall about hockey, and were even trying to talk him into joining the lacrosse team—tryouts were coming up this weekend—since their school didn't have a hockey team. All things considered, Logan couldn't have asked for a better first day back. Even Carlos seemed to be enjoying himself. He was a sociable person; he did well in large groups, so it was good for him to be making new friends. Maybe this whole public school thing wouldn't be so bad.

The rest of the day passed without major incident, but the guys were all actually happy about school. It was nice to get out of the house and have people to interact with besides each other. They got cranky having only themselves to talk to. When they got back home, Logan went straight up to his room to start working on his homework.

"Seriously, Loges? It's the first day! How much homework could you possibly have?" Carlos asked, disbelieving.

"Twenty problems for Honors Pre-Cal, a worksheet for AP Spanish, fifteen pages of reading for AP US History, another fifteen pages of reading for AP Biology, twenty five pages of reading for AP English, twelve pages for Honors Physics, and I need to start studying paintings for Art History," Logan rattled off, listing his work off the top of his head.

James let out a low whistle.

"Logan," Kendall started seriously, looking him in the eye, "Your lack of bullshit classes concerns me. Couldn't you have thrown in an art class or PE or something?"

"Yeah, good luck with that," James said, looking both amazed and slightly disgusted at the same time.

Logan rolled his eyes at them. "You underestimate me. My natural work ethic and photographic memory will definitely serve me well this year. Plus, I'm always up for the challenge."

"And you wanna get done fast so you can go out with Camille!" Carlos said.

"Oh so you're going out now?" Kendall questioned.

"Nooo," Logan responded. "I'm going to meet her in Palmwoods Park again, and hopefully we won't get into a screaming match like last time."

* * *

><p>When Logan had finally finished all this homework for the evening, it was nearly eight o'clock, and Mrs. Knight had a rule about the boys being home by 9:30 on school nights. In theory, this was so that the boys would do exactly as Loganh ad just done, and finish their homework right after school so they could be free to spend their evenings how they wanted. More often than not, it resulted in them staying out <em>until <em>9:30, and then returning home to _start _their homework. Either way, he had to book it if he wanted to have any time to actually get to talk to Camille. This was the first time she'd actually responded to one of his texts since the big fight, and he was nervous about how the meeting would go. He thought that it might go well—she'd initiated the conversation that day by wishing him luck on his first day of school, and they'd kept texting off and on all day. Maybe she was finally ready to forgive him for what had happened with Hannah.

He borrowed the bike from Carlos again and made his way to the park. This time he was the first one there, but it didn't take long for Camille to appear.

"Hey," she said, smiling shyly. She joined him on the bench.

"Hey," he answered back, his heart starting to beat a little faster.

"So, I can't stay long," she started. "We have night filming tonight and I have to go get into hair and makeup soon."

"That's okay. I'm on curfew… school night and all."

"Ha. Okay, so, I mostly just wanted to apologize for screaming at you. I was really upset and I said a lot of stuff and I should have handled it better. I didn't mean for it happen like that…and we probably wouldn't have ended up on Hollywood Teen Beat if I hadn't been shrieking at you for the world to hear."

"No, I should be the one apologizing," Logan said. "You were right about everything. I was being selfish. I wasn't sure if I was ready to date you but I didn't want you dating anyone either, and that wasn't fair. You had every right to yell at me. I said some stupid stuff too."

"So you forgive me?"

"I do if you do," he replied, grinning.

"Cool. So tell me all about your first day. Did you get shoved into any lockers?"

"Ha, no. James almost got in a fight though, and I'm pretty sure if anyone has to tell Carlos to tuck in his shirt one more time, he'll have detention for the rest of the year, and Kendall is like halfway talked into joining the lacrosse team."

"James almost got in a fight? On the first day?"

"Yeah… something about kissing another guy's girlfriend…" Logan said awkwardly.

Camille blushed a little. "So do you have a lot of homework?" An obvious attempt to change the subject quickly.

"Yeah, but I'm already done. It was mainly a lot of reading… God, this is gonna sound so lame, but I think I actually missed going to real school."

"You would say that," she laughed. "Nerd."

"I know, believe me. The other guys have already given me shit for it."

"I can imagine. How are things with the guys, by the way? I saw the video of you guys doing your new song."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I may or may not keep up with Hollywood Teen Beat more than I'd like to admit. I also saw you getting shoved into a pool bunch of seven year olds."

"Haha. Oh yes, the fabulous life of working as a lifeguard. But yeah, we're doing okay. We really like how the song came out, but we're not the most pro songwriters out there."

"Well I'm sure it'll get easier." She checked her phone for the time. "Crap, I gotta go."

Logan stood up with her. "It was nice seeing you. I'm glad we got to talk."

"Me too." She pulled him into a brief hug. "I think the first commercial for the show is supposed to air tonight. You guys should check it out if you get a chance."

"Sure thing. Have fun at work."

"Thanks. See you soon?"

"Yeah, of course."

* * *

><p>When Logan returned home, the boys were just starting their homework for the evening, and he decided to lay low in hopes of avoiding being asked to "help" them with it (i.e., do it for them). He was happy with the way things had gone today. He liked his classes, they were making friends, and things were finally looking up with Camille. All in all, he felt he couldn't really ask for anything better.<p>

Meanwhile, the other three boys suffered through their own homework assignments from the first day, though none of them had nearly as much as Logan.

While he read his history book, James' mind drifted off to Michelle. He knew it was wrong, but he felt this odd attraction to her. She was beautiful, kind of mysterious, and just all around _cool. _She wasn't afraid to be herself, everyone else's opinions be damned. And they had some real chemistry together. The director could see it in their photo shoot, and James felt it when she'd kissed him after driving him home. He honestly didn't know if they would have ever stopped if she hadn't had to remind him not to leave any marks on her neck. _Right, _he thought. _Leave no marks. Because she has a boyfriend. _In a way, he felt kind of bad for Nathan. Sure, he was kind of a jerk, but did he really deserve to be cheated on, and then lied to about it?

Another part of James felt guilty for another reason: Logan. What Carlos had said earlier struck a nerve. Was he really going to make the same mistake twice by kissing a girl who already had a boyfriend? Technically, he'd actually already made the mistake. Nathan wasn't his best friend or anything, but that didn't make it any less wrong. He'd basically single-handedly ended Logan and Camille's relationship, something that he still felt bad about to this day. Did he want to be responsible for doing the same thing to Michelle? No matter what happened, someone was bound to get hurt in this situation.

And yet, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that pursuing her might all be worth it somehow.

* * *

><p><strong>What's that? You want to review this chapter and tell me what you thought about it? Well… I suppose I can't stop you.<strong>

**In all seriousness though, please let me know if you are enjoying the story. Does everyone feel realistic? Are things moving too slowly? Are my OC's too hard to keep track of? Should I bother continuing on? Comments, questions, criticism… I want to know what YOU think! Do you have something you'd like to see happen? Let me know! **

**Coming up: (drum roll…..) a Camille chapter!**


	10. How Strong?

**Alrighty! Here you guys go- a Camille-centered chapter! Enjoy!**

Chapter 10: How Strong?

When Camille woke up, it was nearly one in the afternoon. She had been on set until four in the morning filming, went straight home and crashed. Her father was at work already, so she dragged herself out of bed in order to find something to eat. She opened the refrigerator door. Bacon, eggs, and sausage stared at her…but all those required cooking.

_Cereal it is. _

She was excited about finally having a day off. She'd been working almost nonstop since landing the part on her show, which would finally be premiering in September. The cast and crew were doing everything they could to make sure the show was a hit, so they made sure to go all-out with every take they shot. Camille got to do a lot of her own stunts, which was definitely fun, but it was taking a toll on her body. She was bruised and achey, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a decent night's sleep, so today she was taking comfort in the fact that she could just relax and take a long bubble bath.

As she ate, her mind drifted to that last conversation she'd had with Logan, when they'd apologized to each other for their fight in the middle of the park. She really did feel bad about their fight, but that didn't mean she wasn't justified in telling him off. At least, that's what she was trying to convince herself of. In retrospect, she probably shouldn't have agreed to see him while she was so furious she could barely see straight, but what was done was done.

And yet there they were, right back where they started. In the awkward position of having definite feelings for each other and yet not being a couple. Camille couldn't help but wonder if maybe they really should just give up on each other and move on, but it was hard to let go of something she'd invested so much of herself into. Between her filming schedule and the fact that he no longer even lived at the Palm Woods, there was no way they'd even be able to have a real relationship anyway. Better to quit while they were ahead, right? She didn't know how much more of the drama she could take. She liked him a lot, but everything seemed to be against them. How much crap was she supposed to go through before finally accepting that maybe they just weren't supposed to be together?

When she finished her cereal, she put her bowl in the sink and rinsed it out. Over the run of the water, she heard her phone start ringing. She closed her eyes and prayed.

_No. No. No. _

It was her agent.

_Damn it. _

"Hello?"

"_Camille! How tired are you right now, on a scale of one to ten?" _

"Seventeen," she replied. "Please don't tell me I have something today?"

"_Sorry, girl. You need this publicity though. I managed to get you and JT in for an interview with Popstar Magazine today at three. I'm sending a car to pick both you guys up." _

Camille sighed. "Okay. Will you be there, or..?"

"_Not for this one babycakes, you guys are going to be on your own. Don't be nervous and you'll do fine. Be ready by 2:15." _

"Alright. Bye, Amanda."

So much for that long bubble bath. She now had just over an hour to shower, dry and do something with her hair, find clothes, and do her makeup. She looked longingly over at the comfy couch in the living room that seemed to be calling her name, telling her to go curl up with a book. But no. _Work comes first, _she thought sadly. She went back to her room and stood in front of her closet, staring into it, willing an outfit to reveal itself to her so she wouldn't have to decide what to wear. She finally settled on a pair of white shorts with a green top and some sandals.

She was ready a few minutes early and headed down to the lobby to wait for the car. When it arrived, she saw that her co-star, JT, was already there. JT played her main love interest on the show, so they were getting to be pretty good friends. He'd kept it casual, apparently, wearing a simple outfit of jeans and a t-shirt with a backwards baseball cap over his unstyled brown hair. They chatted on the way to the interview, arriving right on time due to traffic in the city.

The interviewer was a twenty-something year old excitable blonde woman with very white teeth and perfectly manicured nails. She was practically bouncing up and down with enthusiasm. The interview went smoothly, and the two teens talked about what it was like on set, all the long nights of filming they'd been doing, and how even though the show was airing in about a month, none of the cast had seen cuts of the episodes. They talked about all being good friends with each other and how they hung out outside of work so they could get to know one another. The interviewer also wanted to know how their loves had changed since starting work on the show.

"For most of the younger cast, this is our first big job," Camille said.

"Ah, so, it's your big break?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I mean we've done odd jobs here and there, but this is the first time we've been steadily working."

"Is that true for you too, JT?"

"Definitely," he answered. "In fact, up until I got the part, I was waiting tables at a restaurant in between going to auditions."

After the interview, they took a few photos for the magazine. Camille and JT each took some solo shots and then they did a few together. It was nothing fancy—they didn't even have to change clothes or do makeup. Finally they were released, and they were told that their interview would show up in the next issue of Popstar.

Camille stifled a yawn. She was still exhausted from the lack of sleep.

"So, you want to grab some dinner?" JT asked.

"Sure," she replied. "There's a ton of places around here."

The pair walked around the area, and were pleasantly surprised to see a billboard of the two of them advertising the premier of their show. JT was looking dark and mysterious, while Camille looked down to the ground, a pair of fairy wings protruding from her back.

"Oh my God, this is so weird," she said.

"It's so cool!"

"I can't believe this all happening so fast."

"Me either," JT said. "But I'm glad it is."

They kept it simple for dinner, stopping at a small pizza place for a while. When they walked out of the restaurant, a couple of paparazzi were hanging around outside. They snapped a few pictures of the pair, recognizing them from the billboards and commercials that had become more prevalent recently. Since it was getting dark out now, the bright flashes of the camera startled Camille, and she grabbed on to JT's wrist for support. He took her hand and led her down the street away from the photographers, who thankfully seemed content with the shots they'd gotten and didn't bother following.

"I'd better catch a cab home," Camille said, blushing slightly when she realized she was still holding JT's hand. She let go of it quickly and took her phone out, just to have something to fiddle with. Why was she so nervous all of a sudden?

"Yeah, me too…" JT said awkwardly.

"Okay… well. I'll see you tomorrow then." She hailed a cab and almost immediately one stopped for her. It was a miracle.

"Bye, Camille."

She got in the cab and as it drove away she looked back and saw that JT had shoved his hands in his pockets and was staring after her. She turned back around, smiling to herself.

* * *

><p>Her call time the next day was seven AM, so she knew that she had to get to bed soon, but since she'd been gone all day, she hadn't had time to go over her scenes once more. Before she could go to sleep, she had to make sure she knew all her lines. As she paged through it, her eyes widened when she got to a particular scene. How had she missed this last time she read the script?<p>

_Laurel kisses Tamani. _

So far all the filming they'd done had Camille and JT exhibiting burgeoning feelings for each other, and it seemed that tomorrow they would finally be shooting the episode where they made it official. Camille swallowed. She'd done on-screen kisses before, and she knew it was going to be awkward. It always was. The first take would be completely embarrassing, the second only slightly better, third even better than that and the fourth probably would be the best. Then however, they'd have to deal with different camera angles, or making sure their hands were in the right places, or making sure Camille's hair wasn't blocking her face, and they'd have to do even more takes to fix all those problems, so by the eighth or ninth time around, it wouldn't be awkward anymore, just tedious.

Great.

Camille told herself that it wouldn't be so bad. She and JT were friends. They had fun together, and he was easy to talk to. He was refreshingly genuine, unlike so many of the actors she'd worked with before, who either acted like divas and threw fits or whose noses were so high in the air that they'd drown if it started raining. She wondered if he'd known all along that tomorrow would be their big scene, or if he, like her, had discovered it just now. Either way, it was going to be an interesting day on set.

Once she had assured herself that she did, in fact, know all her lines, she settled into bed, setting her alarm for 5:30 AM. It almost caused her actual pain to set her alarm so early. She'd be up and out of the apartment before her dad had even gotten up for work. She was not looking forward to another night of fewer than six hours of sleep. But, she thought to herself, she couldn't really complain, could she? She wanted to be an actress, and this was what she got. She could be back in Connecticut working at the frozen yogurt place still.

* * *

><p>When Camille arrived on set the next morning, she found JT running lines in a corner. She offered him a cup of coffee.<p>

"Morning," she yawned.

"Morning," he replied, reaching for the coffee. "Thanks. So you ready for today?"

Camille grinned. "I plan to make it as awkward as possible," she joked.

"Damn, that was my plan," JT laughed. "Should we rehearse it, then?"

"Yeah, we might as well."

The pair stood a few feet apart and went over their scene, neither of them needing to use the script.

**Tamani: **_But Laurel, you have to realize that this world isn't yours anymore._

**Laurel: **_You keep saying that, but who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? I won't choose between the family that raised me and the family I was born to. _

**Tamani: **_I'm not trying to make you choose! It's not a choice, Laurel. It's an obligation. _

**Laurel: **_That's not my fault! I didn't ask for any of this. All I ever wanted was a normal life at a normal school. Why does no one understand that?_

**Tamani** [Taking Laurel's hand]: _I do understand. I know this is overwhelming. But I hope you know that I'm here for you. Always. _

**Laurel: **_Really? Always? _

**Tamani:** _Always. _[They kiss.]

JT closed the distance between and kissed Camille tenderly. Her eyes fluttered closed as their lips met, and she brought a hand to the back of his neck, moving her mouth against his. When they finally broke apart, JT's eyes met Camille's and they both smiled shyly.

"That… that was really good," JT said.

Camille felt herself blushing and tried to be professional. "Yeah… you, er, that was great."

Just then, their director arrived. "Oh good, you two are already here. Camille, you need to get into makeup and wardrobe ASAP so you can get your wings on. JT, please go try to do something about your hair. We start shooting in two hours, that should give both of you plenty of time. Let's move out, people!"

Camille and JT parted ways to go get ready, and she tried to put their kiss out of her mind, as well as the butterflies rolling around in her stomach. _It was just a rehearsal,_ she told herself. _Stop being such a girl. _

They shot the kiss scene first, and she and JT nailed it in four takes. Each time she felt more comfortable than the time before, and she knew without even seeing it that it was going to be a great scene. After the kiss scene, they had a break while some other people filmed, and then she and JT filmed another few scenes together. It was a long day, but luckily it wasn't yet dark out when they were released for the day.

As Camille was packing up her bag to go home, JT came up behind her.

"Hey, Camille?"

She turned to find him standing in her dressing room doorway. "Hey," she said. "Good job today."

"Thanks. You too," he chewed on his lip somewhat nervously. Camille waited for him to say something. "Okay, this might be totally inappropriate, so feel free to slap me or something if this in anyway makes you uncomfortable, 'cause I know you're just trying to be professional here and I don't want to jeopardize our friendship by asking you this," he rambled, "but I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go out with me sometime? Like, _out _out."

It took Camille a moment or two to process everything he'd just said. "Go out with you? Like… like a—"

"Like a date, yeah," he finished for her. She was rather taken aback. "I know, it was stupid, I shouldn't have asked you—"

"No, no, no! I'd love to go out with you," Camille surprised herself with the answer that fell out of her mouth. Funny what could happen when she didn't allow herself to think too much.

JT looked both relieved and happy. "Really? Awesome. I really didn't want to freak you out by asking."

"Not at all," she smiled back.

"Okay. Cool. Well, I'll text you soon then?"

"Sounds good."

JT exited her dressing room and Camille couldn't stop the grin that filled her face. She didn't know what she'd been expecting when he showed up in her doorway, but asking for a date was the farthest thing from her mind. Now that it had happened though, she started to get excited. A long draining day at work had had an excellent turn around.

She hailed a cab and directed him to the Palm Woods. As she shut her door, her phone buzzed from her pocket. Surely it couldn't be JT so soon…

_From: Logan M._

Oh God. Logan. With everything going on, she hadn't even thought of him. Until now. Should she tell him about her date? Or would he think she was rubbing it in his face? She opened the message.

_Hey. Just wanted to check in on you. Hope your day off went well yesterday. Saw the commercial for the show, it looks awesome! We TiVo'd it :)_

Trying not to go into panic mode, she slid the phone back into her pocket without responding. He didn't know she was off work yet; that could be her excuse for the awkwardly long response time while she thought of what to say. Technically they weren't dating, so there was no reason she should feel guilty about going out with JT, right? After all, during their big fight, she'd laid it all out there on the table. And while she felt about fighting with Logan, she'd meant what she said. She wasn't going to sit around and wait on him. They'd apologized to each other and were friends again, but that was it. Friends.

When she got back to the apartment, she had dinner with her father, who surprised her by ordering in from her favorite take-out place. She talked with him about work for a bit, conveniently leaving out the detail of her kissing scene with JT earlier that day. She didn't quite know how to broach that subject. After dinner, her father cleaned up and got ready for bed; he had an early meeting the next day.

Finally, she decided to text to Logan back.

Camille: _Hey! Just had dinner w/my dad. My day off turned into an interview session. Glad you liked the commercial! How's school going?_

A few minutes later came the reply.

Logan: _You'll judge me if I say I love it… _

Camille: _Lol. But you so do. You loooove it. _

Logan: _I really do. It's kinda nice to just be normal again._

Camille: _As normal as a teen pop star going to public school can be. It's very Hannah Montana of you :D_

Logan: _Yes. We've got the Best of Both Worlds :p_

Camille: _Haha, omg. You did not just quote Miley Cyrus lyrics at me! And shouldn't you be getting to bed soon?_

Logan: _Hey, you started it! And yes, but Carlos needed help with Pre-Cal. I'm trying to teach him how to graph. He says hi. _

Camille: _Hi Carlos! Anyway, I'm exhausted. Off to bed for me. Night, guys! _

Logan: _Night. _

Camille plugged her phone into its charger and changed into her pajamas. She really was exhausted, and she had another early call time the next day. She got into bed and turned out her light, rolling over trying to get comfortable. As she was drifting off, her phone buzzed again. She groaned into her pillow. _Who could it be now?_

_From: Director John  
>Change of plans for tomorrow. Problem wset construction. Filming delayed until further notice. _

Camille rubbed her eyes and read the message again. Was it true? A real day off? Silently thanking any and all gods that were looking out for her, Camille rolled back over into her comfortable spot, thinking she would finally get the relaxing day she'd been needing. However, her attempt at sleep was interrupted yet again by her phone.

Practically growling in frustration, she snatched it from her nightstand.

_From: JT  
>Filming delayed tomorrow, you hear? How do you feel about hanging out tomorrow? Sorry if this woke you..<em>

Torn between annoyance and flattery, Camille typed a response.

Camille: _As long as it's after about 3 in the afternoon, I'm all yours. Good night! _

With that, she set her phone to silent mode and put it face down on the stand. It was gonna be an interesting day.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys liked it! Pleeeease review? Pretty please? Let me know your thoughts!<strong>

**Sneak peek for the next chapter: James gets himself in over his head, Logan finds out about Camille's date, and Kendall's relationship with his mom is put under some strain… **

**Also- shout out to my anon reviewer, Q: Thanks so much for taking time to leave substantial comments and answering my questions! It's been so nice seeing your words of encouragement as I've been writing this, you've been a big help. I really do appreciate it! **


	11. Poppin' Champagne

Chapter 11: Poppin' Champagne

_You've got me poppin' champagne, I'm at it again  
>Caught up in the moment, but not in the right way<br>I'm falling in between, tearing up at the seams  
>Just aiming to please (and aesthetics don't hurt one bit)<br>Follow me down; take this all the way, any way you want to._

* * *

><p>At lunchtime on Thursday, Naomi announced to the table that the end of the first week of school merited having another party. Her mother had decided to go on an impromptu vacation with some girlfriends, leaving her with an empty house.<p>

"So spread the word," Naomi said. "But no freshmen. I don't need a bunch of kids who can't hold their liquor messing up my house."

"Excellent," said Scott. "Lacrosse tryouts are tomorrow afternoon, we can celebrate."

"I can't go," Nathan told her. "I've got a modeling gig with American Eagle, it's an all weekend deal."

"Bummer," Naomi replied. "Congrats on getting the job though. Are you guys in?"

Kendall nodded in affirmation for himself and the other three guys. "Definitely."

"So, you down for lacrosse tryouts or what, Knight?" Derek asked him.

"I'm thinking about it," Kendall answered. "I've never played though."

"No big. Scott and I and a couple of the guys from last year are gonna mess around today after school to warm up, if you wanna come out. We'll find you some gear and show you the ropes. Then you can decide if you want to come to tryouts tomorrow."

"Cool. Hopefully I won't make a fool of myself."

"Don't sweat it, Knight," Scott answered. "Lacrosse isn't that different from hockey. Running instead of skating, and passing the ball instead of a puck. And you still get to body check people," he added with a grin.

* * *

><p>After school, Scott and Derek led Kendall to the athletics department so they could find him some equipment.<p>

"You play offense or defense?" Derek asked, tossing Kendall a helmet.

"I was a forward," Kendall replied.

"Cool. Me too, except in lacrosse it's called an attacker. Scott's a defender." Derek dug around in the closet some more until he found a decent short stick for Kendall to use, one that wasn't completely ratty looking and torn up. "You'll probably have to fix the netting on that," he said, "but it should be good."

"Why is all this extra gear in here, anyway?"

"Seniors who graduate off the team donate it back. The ones who don't try to play in college, anyway," Scott answered while pulling a pair of gloves and some elbow pads out from the back corner.

Finally, Derek located some chest and shoulder pads and a large equipment bag to shove everything into.

"You'll have to get some cleats for yourself, I don't think you want to use any of these. They reek. Alright. You ready?"

"Let's do this," Kendall said, trying not to sound nervous.

When they got onto the field, a few of Derek and Scott's buddies were out there tossing balls around. They ran a few laps and stretched first, to warm up a little. Kendall was only slightly out of breath when they finished, but it still annoyed him. He'd considered himself to be in pretty good shape, but he guessed it had been awhile since he'd done anything really athletic, aside from those grueling dance rehearsals. He was going to have to start running or lifting weights or something.

The guys showed him the proper way to hold his stick and how to control the ball when he tossed it or caught it and explained to him the rules, which were very similar to hockey. Kendall was a natural. He was slipping a little due to not having cleats, but he had great reflexes and hand-eye coordination. He wasn't the fastest runner, but he more than made up for that in his ability to take a hit and body check his opponents.

"Oh yeah," Scott grunted, having just been laid-out by Kendall. "You'll be fine."

Kendall helped him up, grinning. He took his helmet off, shaking his sweaty hair.

"The first day of tryouts is almost completely strength and condition checks anyway," Derek said. "Tryouts are open to all grades, so Coach Jenkins will be checking everyone for speed and stamina. We'll probably run laps first and then hit the weight room after that."

"Sounds good," Kendall said. "Thanks for helping me out."

"No prob. We could totally use you on the team. We lost a lot of good seniors last year."

"I'll catch you guys tomorrow, yeah?"

"Later, Knight." The boys all fist-bumped and headed home.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Carlos, James, and Logan, having not much else to do, had gone straight home after school, and Logan had pestered the other two into actually starting their homework early. James surfed the internet, trying to find a monologue to perform for his drama class the next day, while Carlos listlessly paged through a book was supposed to be reading for English. Logan, on the other hand, had three different textbooks open in front of him and spread out on the table, along with a calculator, some graphing paper, and a lab notebook.<p>

James supposed it was a good thing he'd listened to Logan, since he'd already procrastinated on his assignment for a couple of days. Now he only had one night to find and memorize something to perform. And it had to be from Shakespeare, because, as their drama teacher had announced, their fall production would be Romeo and Juliet. He skipped over the web page on Romeo and Juliet and the one for Hamlet, thinking those plays would be overused by other students looking for something easy and familiar to perform. Instead, he perused monologues from Othello and King Lear and Twelfth Night, before finally settling on one from A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Once he'd picked the monologue, he felt he deserved a break, and so opened a new tab and went to Hollywood Teen Beat, just as Carlos left the room to find something to snack on. Nothing too interesting popped up—Selena Gomez had been spotted with Justin Bieber again, David Henrie was filming a new movie, and the cast of The Vampire Diaries had done a spread in Teen Vogue. He scrolled by a picture post of two people coming out of a restaurant, not recognizing them, but a few seconds later, he went back up. _Wait a minute…_

It was Camille! And she was with a guy. And they were… holding hands? James glanced up at Logan furtively, feeling like he'd been caught doing something wrong, but Logan was busy entering some formula into his calculator and didn't notice a thing. Logan chewed on the end of his pencil while he thought, and James looked back at his computer screen. He hadn't been mistaken… there was Camille, wearing white shorts and a green shirt, coming out of a restaurant with some kid wearing a backwards baseball cap, holding his hand. It looked like he was leading her down the street.

There was no article or anything to go along with the photos, only a caption that read, "JT Manning and Camille Roberts, of new series _Wings, _due out this fall, grab a bite to eat after an interview with _Popstar Magazine. _Are these two co-stars getting cozy? Looks like Camille's found a new guy after that nasty fight with Big Time Rush member Logan Mitchell!"

While he was deciding whether or not he should show Logan, Carlos passed by with a bowl of popcorn, pausing behind James' shoulders.

"Is that Camille?" he asked loudly.

James grimaced as Logan perked up at the mention of Camille's name.

"Where?"

Carlos pointed to James' computer screen. "She's on that website again! Hollywood Teen Beat. And she's with… _oh_."

"Oh, what?" Logan wanted to know. "Who's she with?"

"No one," Carlos said quickly. "Not that guy who's co-starring in the show with her."

James smacked himself in the forehead with his palm. "Real smooth, Carlos."

Logan put down his calculator and went over to look at James' laptop screen too. He saw the picture of Camille holding JT's hand and frowned. "Are they… are they on a date?"

"Looks like it. Sorry buddy," Carlos said, clapping Logan on the shoulder supportively.

"Maybe it's not what it looks like," James reasoned. "Remember all those times Jo kept awkwardly catching Kendall and Jordin Sparks? Nothing was going on then."

"Maybe you're right," Logan said. "Maybe I should give her the benefit of the doubt."

* * *

><p>In Drama the next morning, James tried to shove aside his nerves. The first half of the alphabet would be performing their monologues, causing James to curse his last name being Diamond. He was supposed to be listening to the other students' performances so that they could all give each other feedback, but all he could hear was his own heart pounding in his ears as he tried not to think about how sweaty his palms were.<p>

"You need to relax," Michelle whispered to him. "You look a wreck."

"Gee, thanks," he whispered back.

"How can you be so nervous? You've performed in front of hundreds of screaming girls."

"That's different," he said quietly, trying to avoid the wrath of their teacher. She had already given out a week's worth of detention to another student caught talking during someone else's performance. "Those girls aren't my classmates."

"You'll be fine," she whispered, patting his knee.

She let her hand rest there and James felt that tingly sensation all over again. His heart was still pounding, but now for an entirely different reason. Michelle kept her eyes locked straight ahead at the girl who was currently delivering her monologue, but she felt James' gaze on her. James slowly inched his hand toward hers before taking the plunge and covering her hand with his own. Michelle turned our head to meet his eyes before looking down at their now joined hands. She smiled briefly and didn't break away until James' name was called.

"Right, give us your full name, the play you've selected, and the character you're portraying," Mrs. Franks called out to him once he was on stage.

James took a deep breath before speaking out clearly. "My name's James Diamond. I chose my monologue from A Midsummer Night's Dream, and I'm playing Puck."

"Very good. Go ahead."

He turned his body slightly, acting as if he were speaking to someone else on stage.

"_If we shadows have offended,  
>Think but this, and all is mended,<br>That you have but slumber'd here  
>While these visions did appear.<br>And this weak and idle theme,  
>No more yielding but a dream,<br>Gentles, do not reprehend:  
>if you pardon, we will mend:<br>And, as I am an honest Puck,  
>If we have unearned luck<br>Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,  
>We will make amends ere long;<br>Else the Puck a liar call;  
>So, good night unto you all.<br>Give me your hands, if we be friends,  
>And Robin shall restore amends<em>."

"Nicely done. Next!"

James made his way off stage and back to his seat, glad to be done with that. They wouldn't receive their critiques until after the weekend, so he was relieved not to have to think about it again until Monday.

Near the end of the period, Mrs. Franks made an announcement. "As you all know, our production for this semester will be Romeo and Juliet. Auditions will begin next Friday afternoon, one week from today, at promptly four PM. The cast will be decided by Saturday afternoon. You are all expected to participate in some way, whether it be on stage, crew, props, or set design. That's all for today. Dismissed."

"You gonna audition?" James asked Michelle as they exited the theater.

"Definitely," she answered confidently. "You?"

"I… don't know," he said. "It was hard enough doing one monologue, how would I handle a whole play?"

"I'm sure you'd manage," Michelle said. "Think about it. It'd be fun to do the play together. See you at lunch."

"Yeah. Later."

* * *

><p>That afternoon, Kendall met Derek and Scott at the gym, where a large group of boys was forming, waiting for tryouts to begin.<p>

Coach Jenkins walked in carrying a clipboard, whistle, and stopwatch. "Boys!" he barked at them. "Welcome to day one of lacrosse tryouts. There are 49 of you here, and 34 spots to fill for varsity and JV. Unfortunately, this means that we will have to make cuts, but we could always use team managers to help out, so don't be discouraged. And some of you would do well to remember that just because you made the team last year, it does not guarantee you a spot this year, so I expect all of you to give it your all today."

Kendall was apprehensive. How could expect to make it onto either team, much less varsity, when he'd never even played before? This was a stupid idea, who was he kidding? But he wasn't a quitter, so he decided to stick around and at least see how far he got. Derek's prediction turned out to be completely accurate—the first thing they did was go out to the field and run laps in full gear.

"Six laps!" Coach Jenkins called. "Remember, this is not a race. You need to find a pace that feels comfortable that you can sustain! I won't be impressed if you sprint the whole thing and then pass out as soon as you finish! On my whistle. Three…two…one!" He blasted the whistle and the boys took off.

Ten or twelve boys took off fast, and Kendall knew that most of them would tire out way too soon. He fell into step with Derek and Scott, who seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to outpace each other. Sure enough, by the middle of the second lap, the three boys caught up and passed two others who looked like they were struggling. Kendall's legs were burning and his feet ached thanks to the brand new cleats that weren't very broken in, but he felt good. It had been a long time since he'd really had a chance to stretch his muscles and get in a quality work out. If he wanted to be a pro athlete, he'd definitely have to step up his game.

He scanned ahead of him. There were now only about seven boys ahead of himself and his friends and two more laps to go. They were gaining on one of them, and soon easily passed him up. There were two boys far in front who Kendall knew they would never catch up to—how could they run so fast for long? But by the time he, Derek, and Scott crossed the finish line, he realized that the pace they had set had been perfect. Kendall was breathing hard but he wasn't exhausted; his legs were burning but he didn't feel wobbly or dizzy.

"Good job, boys," Coach Jenkins remarked. "Get yourself some water and stretch."

The threesome did as they were told and stretched out while they waited for the last of the boys to finish their laps. A short, skinny boy with curly hair finally staggered across the finish line and nearly fell. A couple of his friends rushed over to help him, offering him water and a towel. Coach waited for everyone to finish stretching before giving his next instructions.

"Okay! Rotations of push-ups and sit-ups. One minute of each for six minutes. Get into five rows, please. Start with sit-ups and switch when you hear the whistle. Three…two…one!"

On Kendall's last minute of sit-ups, he managed to glance around. Some boys looked as if they could do this all day, while others looked as if they were ready to throw in the towel right then and there. On Coach Jenkins' whistle, Kendall rolled over and started his push-ups, seeing one boy finally give in and collapse to the ground. It was harder to push himself up with every repetition, but he stayed focused and refused to quit. Finally the last whistle blew signaling the end of the drill and Kendall allowed himself to rest on the ground. His abs were burning and his arms felt shaky—he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

Unfortunately, Coach decided that it was time to run some more. He had the boys all sprint at full speed from end line to midfield one time. Kendall was by no means the fastest sprinter, as he was used to skating, but thankfully he wasn't the slowest either. After their sprint, Coach Jenkins instructed them on how to run triangles. They were to run at about 75 percent speed from midfield to end line, then from end line diagonally to the other side of midfield, then jog slowly up the midfield line, creating a triangular path on one half of the field. Then they were to continue the process all over again on the other half of the field. This was called one set. They were to complete four sets, but were allotted three minutes to rest in between each set, during which they could stretch and regain their breath, as long as they didn't sit down.

Kendall felt sorry for some of the younger, smaller boys at the tryouts. Some were just finishing up a set and already there were seniors halfway through their next one. Kendall grimaced as one boy leaned over a trashcan and threw up from some combination of exhaustion and dehydration. Kendall made sure to take a couple extra gulps of water before finishing up. Five seniors and three other juniors finished their sets of triangles before Derek and Scott, who both finished before Kendall.

After running triangles, Coach Jenkins led all the boys into the weight room, where they took turns rotating on different machines. This was their last drill for the day, and Kendall could not have been more thankful for that. Coach announced that he would be taping a list to his office door of all the boys who would be called back to continue with tryouts. The list would be posted within the next half hour, giving all the boys time to shower and clean up before seeing the list. If their names appeared on the sheet of paper, they were to come back to continue with tryouts the following morning at 9 AM.

"Hit the showers, boys! I'll be seeing some of you tomorrow."

Derek clapped Kendall on the back. "Well, you made it through conditioning."

"My legs and arms are killing me. Why did I want to do this again?"

"Because, you, Kendall Knight, are a jock at heart," Scott informed him, handing a cup of water.

After showering and putting on clean clothes, Kendall and the others went to Coach Jenkins' office to see the list. Eight boys had already been cut, and it wasn't hard to guess which ones, judging from the facial expressions some of them wore as they made their way out. All of them were freshmen or sophomores. Derek and Scott each found their names without trouble and stood over Kendall's shoulder as he ran his finger down the column of names, looking for his own.

…_Jay Woodson, Robby Reeb, Hank Elton, Derek McKinney, David Christenson, Scott Foster…. Come on, Knight, _Kendall read silently. Finally he saw it. _Aaron Dawson, Kendall Knight, Josh Hollis… _

"Yes!"

"Alright!" Derek said. "Knew it."

"Now you just gotta make it through tomorrow," Scott said.

"If he makes it through tonight, you mean," Derek smirked. "Party at Naomi's, remember?"

"I never forget a party," Scott answered.

Kendall shook his head at their banter. "I'll see you guys tonight."

"Later, Knight."

* * *

><p>When Kendall arrived home, he was surprised to find Katie alone in the living room. She was bandaging a scrape on her knee that she'd gotten from ice skating lessons.<p>

"What's up baby sister? Where's Mom?"

"She said she's got something to tell us," Katie shrugged.

Kendall frowned. What would she have to tell them that she couldn't have just texted? Could they not afford to live in the mansion after all? Had she finally found out about those pictures of them on the internet?

Mrs. Knight walked into the living room wearing a knee-length dark blue dress and strappy heels to match. Her hair and make-up were done nicely. She looked…nervous? But also happy.

"Mom? What's going on?"

"I have something to tell you both, and I would really appreciate it if you didn't freak out, okay?"

"…Okay. What is it?"

She looked at both Katie and Kendall before speaking. "Well, kids. I have a date tonight."

Both her children's jaws dropped.

"You what?" they said in unison.

"Mom, that's awesome!" Katie said. "With who? Do we know him? Is it serious?"

"No, you don't know him. And…it is kind of serious," she said with a small smile. "He's someone I've been seeing for a while now. I didn't want to tell you about him in case things didn't work out, but things are going well, and we both thought it was time for you all to be introduced to each other. He'll be here soon. Are you okay, Kendall?"

The teenage boy had a somewhat troubled look on his face. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure, honey? I don't want to do anything to upset you."

"It's fine," he said shortly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Mrs. Knight decided not to push him. "I'm going to finish getting ready. His name is John. If he gets here, let him in. And be nice! Both of you."

"What's your problem?" Katie said as soon as their mother had left the room.

"I don't have a problem," Kendall said stubbornly.

"Please," Katie said. "You have a pout on your face bigger than a four-year-old girl's."

"I'm not pouting! I just don't see why we should have to meet this guy."

The doorbell rang before Katie could reply. Kendall didn't move from his spot on the couch, and Katie threw a pillow at him before getting up to open the door herself.

"Hi. You must be Katie," said the man. He was a tall man with brown hair that was starting to gray slightly around the edges. He had an easy smile and kind eyes. Katie liked him.

"Come on in. Mom's just finishing up." She stepped aside to let him in the house and led him to the living room, where Kendall was still sitting sullenly.

"This is my brother, Kendall."

"Nice to meet you. I'm John." The man offered his hand to Kendall, who looked as though he would have preferred not to shake it. However, he knew better than to be so rude, so he reluctantly shook the man's hand and grunted out a 'hey.'

Mrs. Knight came back into the room to find Katie and Kendall sitting awkwardly across from John.

"Oh, good, I see everyone's met."

"Yes, your kids are great," John replied kindly. Katie thought it was rather nice of him to describe them as 'great' seeing as Kendall hadn't said a word and she couldn't think of anything to talk with him about.

"Okay, well, I'll be back late. What are your plans for the night, you two?"

Katie shrugged. "Little online poker, I guess."

"We're going to a party tonight," Kendall said defiantly, almost daring his mother to say he couldn't go.

"A party. Where?"

"This girl's house from school. Naomi. James knows her from the modeling agency."

"Right. Well. Keep your cell phone with you at all times. And do not stay out all night!"

"We won't. I have to be up early tomorrow anyway."

"Oh? What for?"

"Day two of lacrosse tryouts. I made the first cut."

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful!" Mrs. Knight pulled him into a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

"Lacrosse, eh?" John remarked. "I played a little lacrosse back in my day, too."

"I'm a hockey player," Kendall told him bluntly. "I'm only trying out because some friends asked me to."

"Right, well, we better be going," Mrs. Knight said after a short pause. She sent her son a reproving look before heading out the door.

Katie glared at Kendall.

"What?"

"Quit being such a… jackass," she told him.

"Hey! Watch your language!"

"Where do you think I learned it from, big brother? Just be happy for Mom, can't you?"

"Whatever. What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"I dunno. Just order a pizza."

During dinner, Kendall explained to the other guys where his mom was and told them about lacrosse tryouts.

"Sounds rough, man. How are you even still walking?" Logan asked.

"I don't know," Kendall replied honestly. "And I have to get up and do it all over again in the morning."

"You sure you're up for this party tonight, dude?" Carlos questioned.

"Oh yeah. I need to relax."

"Well, I have some news of my own," James announced. They all waited for him to continue. "I think I'm gonna audition for the school play."

"What? No way!"

"Cool!"

"When did you decide this?"

Everyone spoke at once.

"Yeah. Michelle kinda convinced me this morning. I think it'll be fun."

"What's the play?" Kendall asked.

"Romeo and Juliet."

Kendall gave him a look. "Really? You think that's a good idea?" He raised an eyebrow at James.

"Er. Yes? Why wouldn't it be?" James shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"Because you kissed her," Carlos told him, grabbing another slice of pizza from the box.

"It was just—"

"For the photo shoot, we know," Logan finished for him. "But still. Should you really be spending more time with her? That Nathan guy is already two seconds away from murdering you in the hallway."

James didn't meet any of their eyes.

"Is there something else you're not telling us?" Kendall demanded. "Did something else happen?"

"No!" James lied, holding his hands up, trying to look innocent.

Kendall stared at him suspiciously.

"Nothing else happened!" James said, doing his best to calm down and seem confident. "We're just friends." He was not yet ready to share with them that he and Michelle had made out in her car, or that he had held her hand in class today.

Logan got up from his spot on the couch and started cleaning up a bit. Once he was satisfied he made to go to back to his room. "I'm gonna study a little bit before we go. Let me know when you guys are ready."

All three of the other boys rolled their eyes at Logan's back once he had turned around, muttering about how no normal teenager studied on a Friday night.

When Logan got to his room, he pulled out his notes from Art History so he could go over some details about the paintings they'd studied that week. Soon however, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

It was Camille. He stared at the screen for a second, torn between answering and ignoring. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what she had to say, especially since now the tables had turned and he was the one finding out about her relationships online. Hesitating momentarily, he finally answered it just a moment before it went to voicemail.

"Hey, Camille."

"_Hi, Logan. Are you busy?"_

"Well, I was studying a little bit, but it can wait I guess. What's up?"

"_Studying? On a Friday night?"_

"Well we're going to a party later," he defended.

"_Oh." _She paused. _"Um. Can we talk?" _

"Yeah…"

"_Okay, this is kind of awkward. I didn't know if I should call you and tell you about this or if you'd think it was weird. But um… I just wanted to let you know that… I'm dating someone." _

Logan's heart caught in his throat. So it had been a date that Hollywood Teen Beat had posted about.

"Is it… is it that guy who co-stars with you?"

"…_How did you know?"_

"Guess."

"_You saw it online. I'm sorry." _

"James saw it when we doing homework yesterday. You guys were coming out of a restaurant holding hands… So we just assumed…"

"_Wait, what? JT took me to a movie and then went bowling… Oh my God, those pictures are from when we did that interview."_

"Come again?"

"_The pictures you saw. JT and I had been doing an interview and then we stopped for dinner somewhere. There paparazzi hanging around outside and I grabbed onto JT because the camera flashes scared me."_

"Really? But… I mean. It's not like it matters it either way. You're still dating him, aren't you?"

"_Well… yeah."_

Logan didn't say anything.

"_Are you mad at me?"_

He thought for a second. "No… I don't think so. Not really. I just… I thought we… were kind of headed in that direction," he said honestly.

"_I thought so too," _she said softly.

"Then what happened?"

Camille sighed. "_I just… There's no drama with JT. He's nice and sweet and we actually get to spend time together and there's no confusion or anxiety, like there was with…"_ she trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence and hurt his feelings.

"Like there was with me," he finished for her.

"…_I'm really sorry, Logan_."

"You don't have to apologize for liking someone. I just wish we could have had our chance."

She was silent.

"Well," he said after a few moments. "You're still my friend, Camille. No matter what."

"_You mean that?"_

"Yeah. Friends come first. I'm glad you're happy."

"_Thanks, Logan. I am." _

"Then that's what matters. Look, I better go. It's almost time for us to get ready to head out to this party."

"_Okay. Bye, Logan."_

Logan hung up the phone and tossed it onto his bed. It was true, he wasn't mad at Camille. But some part of him wished she had given him a chance before dating someone else. Now he was going to have to watch her relationship become very public, very fast. Especially if their show ended up being successful. He really did want her to be happy, but he couldn't help but feel that her happiness would be at the expense of his own.

* * *

><p>By the time they all made it to the party, it looked like everyone was there already. A group of three freshmen were walking sullenly away from the door, having just been told that were not allowed to enter: this party was upperclassmen only. Kendall tried hard not to chuckle at their obvious disappointment.<p>

"Better luck next time, kids," he said under his breath.

Naomi's party wasn't as huge as Michelle's had been, but the boys liked it better this way. They found their friends outside by the pool, the girls with champagne glasses and cigarettes, the boys with cans of beer.

"Hey, Scott," Michelle called. "No pills tonight, or what?"

"No way," he answered. "Lacrosse in the morning. Can't get too wrecked tonight."

"Bummer."

"What's up, Knight?" Scott said as the four boys approached.

"Hey, Scott. Everyone."

They all greeted each other and the boys were offered beers and shots, which they accepted with no hesitation this time. Though they did glance around to see if anyone wielding a camera was watching them.

After hanging around outside for a while and letting the alcohol creep into their systems, they decided to go inside and crank up the music. Naomi dimmed the lights in the living room and changed the music to a playlist with a fast beat and a low bass.

James ended up dancing with Michelle, boldly placing his hands on her hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they stayed close until Michelle told him she was going to get another drink. He followed her.

There was no one in the kitchen, and the bright lights made them both feel woozy as their eyes adjusted to contrast of the florescence to the dark room they had been dancing in. Michelle handed James another shot followed by a cup of spiked punch.

"I need a cigarette. Come with me?"

James nodded and followed her out of the kitchen. However, instead of leading him outside, as he'd expected, Michelle went towards the stairs. On the second floor they went to a bedroom that looked too clean to be lived in, but had a small balcony.

"It's a guest room," she explained. "This is where I sleep when I stay over." She lit her cigarette out on the balcony and took a long drag of it before offering it to James. He took a few puffs himself and handed it back to her, instantly feeling more lightheaded than he already was. Michelle stood at the railing of the balcony, her black hair falling down in loose waves around her shoulders, her green eyes shining in the moonlight. James tapped her and she turned to him. He was standing quite close. She took one last drag of the cigarette and let it fall to the ground, keeping her eyes trained on his.

James leaned in ever so slightly and Michelle tilted her head up to him. However, just before their lips met, her hand went to his chest, applying just enough pressure that he did not continue his advance. Michelle closed her eyes and pursed her lips.

"We can't," she whispered, though no one was around but the two of them. "I have a boyfriend."

"I can keep a secret," James said, causing her to meet his gaze again.

He felt Michelle's resistance melt, and leaned in quickly to capture her mouth with his. Her back was to the railing of the balcony and he pressed his body up against hers, causing a delicious friction between them. Her arms were around his neck and she was kissing him as vigorously as he was her, their tongues battling for dominance. He breathed in her scent, feeling even more intoxicated on the subtle smell of her perfume mixed with the champagne she'd been drinking and the cigarette she had finished moments ago. He kissed her neck, remembering vaguely not to leave any bite marks, though this did not stop him from darting his tongue out every now and then, causing her to shiver when the night air hit her skin.

They somehow made it back into the bedroom, barely breaking contact and fell to the bed, James lying halfway on top of Michelle. She pushed off the black vest he was wearing, leaving him in his white v-neck. Her hands found their way under the hem of his shirt and she ran them across his smooth abs, making his breath catch in his throat, before she tugged at the shirt and removed it too. He cupped her backside with one hand before running it up her body and under her shirt. She made no protest as he slid his hand up towards her breast, though he sensed his slight hesitation. But Michelle arched her back up into him and he forgot his apprehension, gently palming her covered breast with his right hand. He reached around her back, feeling for the clasp of her bra, and she helped him undo it and surprised him by shimmying out of it without taking of her shirt.

She tossed the garment to the floor, where it landed near his vest and the shoes they had frantically kicked off, and laid back down, pulling James down with her. This time, he felt the soft fullness of her bare breast underneath her shirt, and he wished she would take the shirt off too, but he dared not ask or push her to do so. She gasped as he rubbed his thumb over the sensitive skin of her nipple, and he smirked at her instant reaction. He liked making her feel this way. Her loose black skirt had hitched up around her thighs and she hooked one leg over him, pulling him closer, unable not to notice the growing stiffness under his jeans.

"Fuck," he said quietly, pulling away from her. "We should stop… Any more and I might not be able to control myself."

"You're right," she replied. She tossed him his shirt and vest before gathering up her bra and shoes. James went into the bathroom to redress and make himself look more presentable.

By the time he came out, Michelle was already gone.


	12. Just the Beginning

**Hope you guys like this one! To Q, XxSmileyxD, and happygirl57, I live for your reviews. You guys make me feel like it's worth it to continue this story, so thank you so much for commenting on my chapters!**

Chapter 12: Just the Beginning

Kendall's alarm went off at 8 AM sharp, startling him out of his deep sleep. He resisted the temptation to press the snooze button and forced himself out of bed. He threw on some athletic shorts and a t-shirt before making his way downstairs for some breakfast.

He went for orange juice and a couple of granola bars. No one seemed to be awake yet; the house felt quiet. He poked his head in the door of his mom's bedroom to tell her he was leaving for lacrosse soon, but he was surprised to see that she wasn't in there. Nor was she in the bathroom, the living room, or the backyard.

…_Did she not come home last night? _Kendall shook his head, disgusted, and tried to keep the mental images of his mother spending the night with John at bay. _Gross. _Kendall didn't see how his mom could have been dating someone for so long and not have told him and Katie. They were supposed to be a close family. Their mom had never hidden anything from them before. Why should she start now?

Kendall slung his equipment bag over his shoulder and grabbed his bike from the garage. He made it to the field with about fifteen minutes to spare, and took the time to stretch his sore muscles some more. His neck and back were a little stiff because he wasn't accustomed having to run with so much gear on—it was different than skating. Harder. There were a few boys already there, and soon enough Derek and Scott arrived in Derek's shiny dark green Jeep. Scott looked a little worse for wear, dragging his sandaled feet towards Kendall.

"'Sup, Knight?" Scott lay back on the grass, looking like all he needed was a pillow and would be ready for a nap.

"You alright?" Kendall asked.

"He's fine," Derek said, rolling his eyes in Scott's direction. "He's being a baby because he puked up everything in his stomach this morning." He tossed Scott's bag at him, missing his face by inches. Scott still didn't budge.

"Ah," Kendall replied. "Little too much to drink last night?"

"Don't remind me," Scott groaned, his voice muffled as he spoke into the grass. "Don't even mention drinking to me for the rest of the week."

Kendall and Derek grinned down at him.

"So how's your boy Logan doing?" Derek asked. "He was looking pretty rough last night."

"Huh?" Kendall didn't know what he was talking about. "I lost track of him after a while. I left kinda early so I get back home and get some sleep. Why? What happened?"

"He was pretty wasted when I saw him. Carlos and James practically carried him out, and they weren't exactly in the best shape either."

"I didn't know that. Everyone was still passed out when I left this morning."

"Well if they didn't wake you up or call, I'm sure everything's fine," Derek reasoned. Scott let out a soft snore from the ground.

"Is he seriously asleep?"

"Not for long." Derek uncapped his water bottle and squirted a stream of the ice-cold liquid directly onto the back of Scott's neck. "Yo, Foster! Wake your ass up!"

Scott jolted up and shoved Derek harshly. "Asshole."

"We've got practice in five, loser. Here, drink some water."

When Coach Jenkins arrived, the boys were instructed to run four laps in their gear, including sticks. After stretching, he paired everyone up randomly and had them practice tossing the ball to each other and scooping it off the ground to get a feel for everyone's level of experience. Kendall could easily tell who had played before and who hadn't. He made sure to focus, but it wasn't hard to see that he was not the best player out here. Still, he wasn't in the bottom half either, which cheered him up a bit.

They did different fundamental things for a while before moving on to actual offensive and defensive drills. Handling the stick was probably the hardest part for Kendall. In hockey, he was used to carrying his stick low to the ground. In lacrosse, he had to hold it vertically most of the time. He also needed to work on his feet. Running fast and skating fast for long periods of time was really different. But he had the physicality to make it through the rest of tryouts, so he wasn't terribly nervous when Coach posted the final cuts at the end of practice.

Sure enough, he found his name on the Varsity list, along with Derek and Scott and thirteen other boys who were all seniors and juniors, except for two especially gifted sophomores. His friends congratulated him and a few of the other boys who had made the team introduced themselves. It was a bit refreshing to hang out with other guys for once, Kendall thought. Teenage guys didn't typically know who he was, since they didn't listen to boy band music, and it was nice not to be stared and giggled at everywhere he went.

When he got back home, Kendall found the other three boys upstairs in the game room. The lights were not on and the volume to the TV was low. Carlos looked fine, but Logan looked like hell. James seemed okay, but more subdued than usual.

"What up with Logan?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

Logan was lying on his side on the couch, looking pale and exhausted, still wearing what he must have fallen asleep in the night before.

"Loges had a _bit _too much fun last night," Carlos said.

"Trust me, it was _not _fun," Logan mumbled from his spot on the couch.

Kendall plopped down on the ground in front of the couch. "Then why'd you drink so much? What happened last night?"

"I talked to Camille right before we left. She's dating her co-star now."

OOOOOOOOO

_Logan was sweaty and drunk and dancing with Hannah, but he barely noticed her body pressed against his. All he could think about was his conversation with Camille. And. It. Sucked._

_Maybe he deserved it, he thought miserably, thinking back to the fight they'd had that day in the park. Camille had called him out on his crap, and she was right. He tried to date Peggy when he knew Camille still had feelings for him. He was jealous when she tried to move on. He told her she had no right to be upset with him when he made out with another girl. He was a total jerk to her. No wonder she decided to move on for real. _

_He had a vague notion that something was off when he watched James follow Michelle out of the room… For some reason he felt he should stop James or ask him what he was doing, but he couldn't think of why. Instead, he drained the rest of whatever was in his cup and tried not to resent James. It was so easy for him. All he had to do was look at a girl and she was his. He never had to work for it. _

_Logan felt Kendall grab his shoulder and say something to him. The music was loud and Logan's head was foggy because of that fifth (or was it sixth?) cup. Logan just nodded at him. He had no idea what Kendall was saying, but it was easier just to act like he did. Kendall shot him a skeptical look, but Logan waved him off. A few minutes later Kendall was nowhere in sight, and James had never returned from…wherever he had gone._

_Hannah had disappeared too, but Carlos was a few feet away dancing with that brown haired Hispanic girl who was in like four of his classes. Ashley? No, Amber. Wait… Anya. That was it. He made his way over to Carlos, looking bleary-eyed and off-balance. _

"_You good, buddy?" Carlos shouted over the music. _

_Logan nodded. "Come get a drink with me." _

_Carlos extricated himself from Anya, who took the opportunity to tie her hair up off her neck. It was crowded and hot in the living room. Logan stumbled into the kitchen with Carlos following behind. Carlos thought that maybe he should stop Logan from drinking anymore, or at least try to slow him down, but he wasn't sure how bad off Logan really was. _

"_Let's go outside for a bit, yeah?" Carlos said. Maybe he could at least distract Logan from the alcohol for awhile._

_They went outside where there were a few people sitting around and smoking. Derek sat with Scott (who looked even more drunk than Logan), another brown-haired boy who Carlos had never seen, and the quiet girl from the last party they'd been to—Holly, the one who'd offered Kendall a cigarette. Carlos and Logan approached the group. They weren't the closest of friends with these people, but they did share a lunch table every day, so it wasn't like they were total strangers. _

_Holly was again holding a cigarette between two fingers, and the brown-haired guy was lighting up one too. No, wait. It wasn't a cigarette he was lighting, Carlos realized. Sure enough, the boy took a long drag and passed the joint along to Derek, who refused it. Scott however, reached for it and took a hit himself before handing it to Holly. The unmistakable smell of marijuana soon surrounded them. _

"_Yo, is Logan alright?" Derek asked Carlos as Holly held out the joint. Logan held it with his thumb and index finger and looked like he didn't quite know what to do with it. _

"_He's good," Carlos said uncertainly. Logan took a puff and held it for a moment, before letting the smoke out and suppressing the cough he wanted to let out. _

_Carlos refused the joint too, so the boy who he didn't know took it back. "I'm Luke," he said, holding out his hand. Carlos shook it. _

"_Carlos," he said, introducing himself. _

"_They're new this year," Derek told him. _

_Luke looked from Carlos to Logan and back again. "Are you guys in that band? Big Time Rush?" _

_Carlos grinned embarrassedly. Being recognized by guys was weirder than being recognized by girls. Girls tended to scream or giggle or blush. Guys tended to scoff and roll their eyes. _

"_My sister has a picture of you on her wall," he explained. "She's fifteen."_

"_Wait 'til she hears you got high with her favorite band," Holly smirked. "She won't know whether to be excited or jealous." _

_Logan finished up his drink and took another hit off the joint before standing up, stumbling a little. "Need some water," he mumbled. _

_Carlos went with him, and they ran into James on the way to the kitchen, looking slightly disheveled. _

"_Where have you been?" Carlos wanted to know. _

"_Around…" James answered vaguely. "What up with Loges?"_

"_He's wasted. We gotta get him out of here." Logan was leaning over the counter with his head resting on his forearms, looking like he could pass out at any moment. _

_They got him to stand and James kept a hand on his shoulder to keep him steady as they left the party. Luckily Logan was able to walk on his own—James did not want to have to carry the shorter boy out of the party. That would practically invite everyone there to take pictures and put them online. Near the front door, James caught sight of Michelle, who made eye contact with him briefly before turning and walking in the opposite direction. Carlos didn't notice the exchange, too busy making sure Logan didn't trip over his own feet. _

_They went in the back door, not bothering to try to climb the tree and sneak in. They'd just have to be quiet. They managed to get Logan up the stairs and briefly wondered if they should wake up Kendall. _

"_He's got practice early though," Carlos reminded James. _

"_Alright, well let's just get Logan to the bathroom," James said. "I'm beat…" he trailed off, looking longingly towards the stairs that led up to his bedroom._

"_Someone's gotta stay with Logan!"_

"_I'll play you for it," James said with a grin. "Rock, paper, scissors." _

_Carlos rolled his eyes but played anyway. He lost. _

_Logan kneeled in front of the toilet, clutching onto it for balance. He felt horrible. A wave of nausea overtook him and he vomited into the toilet. Carlos had to look away to keep from gagging himself. Being a good friend though, he patted Logan on the back and waited for him to finish before handing him some tissue to wipe his mouth and a cup of water. _

"_Thanks," Logan mumbled. He stood up and swayed a little. Carlos caught him and took him to his room. He pulled out a t shirt and a pair of sweat pants for Logan to sleep in, and looked away pointedly as Logan undressed. Carlos was a good friend, but he drew the line at helping Logan strip down. _

"_You okay?"_

_Logan shook his head. "Sorry you had to take care of me." He was in his bed under the covers, with his eyes already closed. _

"_Are you gonna be good? Should I stay for a bit?"_

"_Stay. Please." Logan looked up at Carlos, who bit back a small chuckle. Logan looked like a little boy who wanted his mommy to bring him some chicken soup. Carlos swiped a pillow off Logan's bed and one of his extra blankets, and made himself a little makeshift nest on the floor. It was an interesting role reversal for Carlos. Usually Logan was the responsible one, the one making sure everyone was okay._

"_I didn't mean to drink that much," Logan said after a moment. Carlos didn't say anything, sensing that Logan would finish his story without prompting. "But Camille has a boyfriend now and we really are over. But I like her." It came out as a whine. "I really like her and she gave up on me."_

"_That sucks, man," was all Carlos could think of._

"_It does. It does suck. You know what sucks the worst? I told her I was cool with it. I told her we were still friends. But I don't wanna be _friends. _We're supposed to be together, you know?" Logan rambled on, some of his words slurring together. "But I deserve to be alone."_

"_No one deserves to be alone, Loges," Carlos said, sitting up. _

"_I do," Logan said sadly. "I was mean to her. Why does it have to be so hard?"_

"_Why does what have to be hard?"_

"_Being in love. Or…in like. Whatever. The point is, it shouldn't be hard. If I like her, and she likes me, then we should be together."_

"_Yeah, you should."_

"_Then why aren't we?"_

"_If it's meant to be, you have to give it some time, man. But if it's not, you'll find someone else."_

"_Promise?" Logan asked with a big yawn._

"_Promise."_

OOOOOOOOO

"Wait…She called to tell you that she had a boyfriend? Harsh."

"Yeah. Camille and I are officially over. So I drank my feelings like a total girl, and I feel like crap, and I'm never drinking again."

* * *

><p>The next week at school, Michelle avoided James whenever possible. She made sure to surround herself with other people in Drama, and was practically attached to Nathan's hip during lunch periods, making sure that James could never catch her alone. But he had to talk to her. He had to know what was going on between them. He knew he wasn't crazy—she had to be feeling the same things he was.<p>

The realization hit James harder than a body check into the glass. James Diamond—_the _James Diamond was falling for a girl. But he wasn't the 'falling' type! Or so he told himself. He was a serial dater! He was the pretty-boy who got any girl he wanted, and who grew bored of those girls quickly. He wasn't supposed to be the type of guy who… he couldn't say it. He would not use the "L word" to describe this feeling. But here he was, catching himself thinking about Michelle, wanting to get close to her again, remembering the feel of her body pressed against his. No…this was nothing but a good old fashioned case of teenage hormones. He would get it out of his system eventually, right?

On Thursday, before Michelle could bolt from Drama, Mrs. Franks wanted to speak with her about her monologue. James hung back and waited for her to emerge. She tried to walk past him but he was taller than her and easily kept up with her quick stride.

"You can't avoid me forever you know."

She said nothing.

"Come on. We have to talk about us."

This stopped Michelle in her tracks. "There is not an _us, _James. We made a mistake! I. Have. A. Boyfriend. Get it through your head."

The warning bell rang and Michelle continued her pace. She would be late to Pre Cal if she didn't hurry.

"Stop acting like this is so one-sided," James said. "I know you feel something for me too; you're not an innocent bystander."

Michelle paused. She was only a few feet from her classroom, and the door was wide open. Her teacher was standing in the doorway, tapping his foot impatiently. There were about 30 seconds until the late bell.

"Just leave me alone, James," she said before slipping through the doorway. The teacher glared at James momentarily before shutting the door.

James stood there in the empty hallway, staring after her.

When he didn't show up to lunch, Kendall texted him. Michelle pretended not to notice his absence, focusing her full attention on Nate, who didn't see anything unusual about her behavior.

James had his next period class with Logan, who'd signed him up for AP English, but he strolled into the room right as the bell rang, giving Logan no time to question him. He bolted as soon as they were dismissed, leaving his friend thoroughly mystified by his actions.

Logan gathered up his belongings and made a quick stop at his locker before heading to his Honors Physics class. Today they would be assigned lab partners, which Logan was apprehensive about. Usually people gravitated toward him, knowing his intellectual reputation. He hoped it would be different here, since it was an honors class, meaning the other kids all had to be pretty smart too. Maybe for once he wouldn't end up doing all the work.

He was somewhat relieved when he found out that his lab partner would be Anya, the girl he saw dancing with Carlos at the party before everything turned fuzzy and he could no longer remember any more details. He hadn't spoken to her very much, but she was in a few of his honors and AP classes, so he knew she would be a good partner. She was one of the few students who actually participated in class, like him.

She smiled at him as they made their way to the lab. "Lucky me," she said, nudging him playfully. "Not only is my partner a genius, but he's also a famous musician."

Logan chuckled. "I'm pretty lucky, myself. My partner won't stick me with all the work."

"Psh, don't count your chickens before they hatch, Mitchel." She grinned at him to let him know she was teasing.

When lab was over, their teacher handed out worksheets full of questions to answer, due by tomorrow. The class groaned in unison, earning themselves a stern look from Dr. Aldridge.

"You want to work on this after school?" Anya asked as they exited the class. They had their last period class together too, so they walked in stride down the hallway.

"Sure," Logan replied. "Do you want to come to my place?"

"Sounds good."

James and Hannah were already seated, waiting for them to arrive. Once the final bell rang, everyone went to their lockers and decided to meet up outside. James and Logan waited for Carlos and Kendall, who were both so disorganized that it took them forever to locate everything they would need from their lockers. Once they were all there, Logan tossed the car keys to Kendall as Anya approached them, her own car keys in hand. The fivesome went out to the parking lot, and Logan hopped into Anya's car with her so he could direct her to the mansion.

Once the other three boys figured out that Logan and Anya were working on homework, they made themselves scarce. Logan was notorious for badgering them into sitting down and doing all their work too, and none of them had any desire to read textbooks and do math problems just yet. However, Carlos, having the shortest attention span, wandered back into the room about a half hour later, claiming he was bored.

"Well, you could always st—"

"Don't say 'start your homework,'" Carlos warned. "Not yet."

Logan rolled his eyes and was about to argue some more, but his phone started buzzing. "It's my mom," he said apologetically to Anya. "I haven't talked her in a few weeks, I'll be right back." He answered it and stood up. "Hey, Mom. Ugh, don't call me Hortence!" they heard him whine as he left the room.

This left Carlos and Anya to sit in semi-awkward silence for a moment, until Anya decided to break it. "So, thanks for the dance on Friday."

Carlos grinned. "No problem. The pleasure was all mine," he said, affecting a British accent.

She laughed. "Did you guys make it home all right?"

"Yeah…" Carlos trailed off, not wanting to betray Logan's trust by revealing just how wasted he'd been. "We were good. Little hungover in the morning."

"Same here," Anya said. "Brutally hungover, actually."

Carlos caught himself just watching her as she spoke, content to just listen and watch her mannerisms. She was cute, with the way she spoke with her hands, and played with a certain section of her hair over and over again.

When Logan came back in the room, he stopped in his tracks, noticing the interaction between his two friends. Carlos was leaning forward slightly, looking engrossed in their conversation, and Anya had a sweet smile on her face and slight blush to her cheeks. He cleared his throat loudly, causing both of them to jump.

"Sorry for the interruption," he said, glancing back and forth between them.

"No problem," Anya replied. "We were just getting…reacquainted."

"Yeah. I'll let you guys work on your Physics," Carlos said, standing to leave. He did not miss the deliberate smirk on Logan's face nor the suggestive way he waggled his eyebrows at Carlos.

* * *

><p>When Logan was on his way to lunch the next day, he was stopped just before entering the café by Hannah.<p>

"Hey, you have a minute?"

"Um, sure. What's up?"

"Don't be weirded out by this, but do you think Carlos might have a thing for Anya?"

The question caught Logan off guard. "Oh. Uh… I don't know. Why?"

Hannah smiled wryly. "She would kill me if she knew I was doing this. But she's too shy for her own good. We talked last night and she wouldn't shut up about him, since they hung out at the party and at your house yesterday."

"Really? She likes him?" Logan smiled too. This was excellent news for his friend. Carlos never got the girl; he was probably the unluckiest guy ever when it came to relationships.

"Yeah, I think she really does. But I know she won't make a move, so I wanted to see what you knew about it."

"Carlos isn't exactly the smoothest person," Logan said, thinking aloud. "But it's not like he's never asked girls out or been on dates before. He seemed like he was enjoying it when they were talking yesterday. I'm sure with the proper… set-up, he'd ask her out."

"Awesome, that's exactly what I wanted to hear," Hannah answered. "I'm thinking a set-up is exactly what this situation calls for. What if we all went on a little… group outing/double date thing tonight?"

"A double date," Logan repeated. "You mean… you and me, and Carlos and Anya?"

"Yeah. We could just go as friends if you don't want to call it a date…"

"No, that's not it," Logan said quickly. "It could be a date," he grinned in spite of himself.

"Cool," Hannah said happily. "How do you feel about the four of us going for sushi maybe? And then we can go back and hang out at my place."

"That sounds fun."

"Okay. So… we'll meet you and Carlos at Kona at 7:30."

"Alright. Operation: Matchmaker is a go."

Logan had been feeling so down about Camille lately that maybe going on a date was exactly what he needed. Hannah was pretty, she was fun, and she was just as cool as Camille. And she was a good kisser. This would be a good thing. And if it turned out that they didn't have feelings for each other, they could always play it off as a pretend date that they'd come up with in order to get Carlos and Anya together. This was a win-win situation.

* * *

><p>After school that day, James headed to the theater for the play auditions. Girls were reading first, so he had no chance to get Michelle alone and talk to her. But he probably should have been focusing on his part anyway. He would, of course, be reading for Romeo. He put in some headphones to drown out the sounds of other boys rehearsing their monologues. James didn't bother. He knew his monologue like the back of his hand. He probably knew it <em>better <em>than the back of his hand.

It was a long, long afternoon. There were a ton of people auditioning, and the monologues had to be performed in front of not only Mrs. Franks, who was directing, but also the entire group of kids auditioning. Scary. Michelle was beautiful up on stage reading for the part of Juliet. She nailed the emotion of her scene, looking as if she were born to play this role.

Once all the girls had performed, it was the boys' turn. There were considerably fewer boys auditioning than girls, so it took a lot less time to get through them all. James did well with his monologue, but he paid attention to some of the other boys who went after him. He hadn't stumbled over any of the words or forgotten any lines, but seeing how others performed made him aware of how he could have done things differently.

Mrs. Franks announced the lists for callbacks. Auditions would be finished by tonight, so either way, James would know if he'd gotten the part within a few hours. Mrs. Franks paired up people randomly to read together, then narrowed her list again and had everyone perform one more monologue. Finally, all there was left to do was wait.

James saw Michelle sitting with a group of people, most of whom he didn't recognize. He wondered if he should go over to her, but as he was deciding, a girl across the auditorium shrieked.

"It's up! The cast list is up!"

There was a mass migration for the doors as kids jumped out of their seats and sprinted to the bulletin board. James decided to wait for the madness to die down a little bit. A few people were already huffing angrily and stomping away, or dissolving into tears at not finding their names on the list. By the time he walked up to the bulletin, he and Michelle were the last two people. She didn't notice him standing behind her.

"What's the verdict?" he asked. She jumped a little at the sound of his voice.

"I'm Juliet," she replied. "You?"

James shrugged. "Haven't looked yet."

He stepped up the piece of paper, running his finger down the column of names.

_James Diamond…Mercutio_

He gulped. "Mercutio." Mercutio. Romeo's cousin.

He couldn't help but notice the look of relief that etched itself onto Michelle's face. She might as well have thanked God out loud. This pained him. Why was she acting like this? One minute they were hooking up in a bedroom and the next she wouldn't give him the time of day.

"Are you really that disgusted with me?" he asked. "That you don't even want to be in a play with me?"

"I'm not disgusted with you," she said quietly. "But I shouldn't be around you. I have—"

"A boyfriend, I got it," James cut her off. "But I know I'm not making this up. There's something between us and you know it."

He waited for her to say something, anything, and when she didn't he took a step towards her. "Just look me in the eye and tell me you don't want this too. Look me in the eye and say it, and I'll leave you alone."

Michelle looked up at him. She seemed to be struggling with herself. She wanted to say the words. She wanted them to be true. But the truth was that she wanted James as much as he wanted her. When she failed to say anything, James closed the gap between them and kissed her again, not caring that they were on school property, in full view of anyone who might walk by. Not that anyone would, or did. They were safe, in their own little world.

They broke apart, panting a little, and there was no regret in Michelle's eyes as they walked to the parking lot together.

* * *

><p><strong>Be honest… how many of you thought James was going to play Romeo against Michelle's Juliet?<strong>

**Anyway! Be sure to check out wintershine(dot)tumblr(dot)com for updates on my progress and for extra tidbits of info that didn't make it into the chapters. It's stuff that I've come up with for background information on my OC's and things like that. I'll also be posting the full list of every OC with their first and last name, brief description, and face claim. **

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	13. Surprises Pleasant and Otherwise

**Sorry for the long wait! Enjoy and please REVIEW! **

Chapter 13: Surprises- Pleasant and Otherwise

"We're doing what?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, but I thought I heard you say I have a date tonight, and that can't be right."

Logan rolled his eyes. "I _did _say that. You and I are going on a double date tonight."

"But I—what if—how will I—?"

Kendall walked into the room to find Carlos freaking out. "What's going on?"

"Carlos and I are going on a date tonight," Logan answered.

"What, with each other? Is there something I should know here?" Kendall said with a grin.

Logan shoved him. "A double date, douche bag. With Hannah and Anya."

Kendall raised his eyebrow. "Huh? When did this happen?"

"Hannah asked me right before lunch. We planned it all out. Carlos and I are gonna meet her Anya for dinner and then go hang out her place."

"Cool. I'm gonna hang with Derek and some other people, I guess. Nothing big. Good luck tonight."

As Logan and Carlos got ready for their date, Carlos was fidgety. Logan had to pry his helmet away from him to get him to leave it at home. They both dressed nicely, wearing button downs and dark jeans. Logan wore a vest over his blue button-up, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows before making Carlos sit still so he could try to do something to his hair.

Finally they were ready to go and bid Kendall and James farewell before heading out the door, high-fiving James when they learned he'd gotten a part in the play.

"Breathe, Carlitos," Logan said. "This is supposed to be fun."

"I know, I know! I'm just nervous! The last time I had any kind of girl action was the most awkward kiss in the history of the universe with Brunette Jennifer!"

Logan nearly ran a stop sign. "What? You kissed a Jennifer?"

"Don't remind me! It was at prom. And it was not good!"

"Okay, well, don't think about that right now. Think about Anya! She's really nice and she's smart and she's pretty."

"Yeah, which is why I don't get why she'd want to go on a date with me!"

"Carlos, there are plenty of reasons why she'd want to date you. You're chill and funny and girls dig that innocent vibe you give off."

"Fine, can we stop talking about it? It's making me more nervous. But," he said shrewdly, "how are _you _feeling about this date?"

"Fine," Logan shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Really, dude? You spilled your guts to me about being _in love _with Camille and now you're all, 'Hey, let's go on a double date!'"

"I was hoping you'd forget that conversation."

"You were the wasted one, bro, not me."

"Okay, then I was hoping _I'd _forget that conversation." Logan ran a hand absentmindedly through his hair. "Look, I was drunk and feeling sorry for myself. That's all."

"Alright," Carlos said dubiously. "If you say so."

They got to the restaurant a few minutes early and the girls weren't there yet. Logan texted Hannah to let them know they were there. Since it was crowded, he went ahead and added their names to the list. Carlos seemed to have calmed down, and was even looking optimistic about the evening. This would be fun. No pressure, minimal awkwardness (hopefully), and no drama.

Hannah and Anya finally arrived a few minutes after 7:30.

"Sorry we're late," Hannah said breathlessly. "Traffic sucked."

"How are you guys?" Anya greeted both boys with a hug.

"Good," they said in unison.

"_Logan Mitchel, party of 4, your table is ready,"_ came a voice over the intercom.

"Good timing," Carlos said with a grin. He offered Anya his arm to escort her to the table. She accepted with a slight tinge of blush on her cheeks. Who said Carlos wasn't smooth when it came to girls?

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, James was telling Kendall about the play auditions, though he left out the parts having to do with Michelle. He didn't need Kendall's judgment right now. James didn't know if or when he would tell his friends about what was going on between him and Michelle. They hadn't even talked about it themselves, not really. At least with the play, he now had an excuse to hang out with her more. Starting next week, they would have rehearsal every evening from four to seven pm. The show would go on in early November, giving them about eight weeks to learn their lines and blocking, design and build the set, and come up with costumes and props.<p>

Kendall invited James to hang out with Derek and some of the other guys that night. Michelle was with Nathan, so James accepted. Scott was hosting a poker night at his place for their friends and some teammates.

"We've gotta go in for another car," James commented as they pulled bikes out of the garage.

"Yeah? With what money?" Kendall snorted.

"Hey, we all made decent money over the summer. I'm sure between the _four_ of us we could afford _one_ car payment. Plus you still have your job and I'm still working, technically, and you know Logan saved all his money."

"Maybe you're right. Biking everywhere is getting seriously lame. We're old for this crap."

They got to the house and walked on in, not bothering to knock on the door or anything. They could hear guys bantering loudly in the kitchen/dining room area and headed that way.

"Yo, Foster, you around?" Kendall called.

Scott poked his head out of a doorway. "Hey, Knight. Diamond." He thrust a can of beer in each of their hands in greeting. "Welcome to my humble abode," he said, gesturing to the huge house. Humble was not quite the word they would have used to describe it.

Scott introduced them to a few of the guys that were there, some of whom they recognized vaguely from class. A couple of the guys embarrassedly asked for photos with James and Kendall, saying their sisters or girlfriends were big fans of theirs. The boys obliged, much to the amusement of Derek and Scott.

"I gotta say, it weirds me out sometimes that you guys are famous," Derek said.

"We're not that famous," Kendall replied sheepishly.

"Yeah, if we were, our label wouldn't be treating us like such utter shit right now," James chimed in.

"Ladies! Is this a photo shoot or a poker game? Let's do this!" Scott said, rolling his eyes.

Kendall sucked at poker, but James was pretty good. Kendall folded pretty early and stayed out of the game; they were playing for real money, and he wasn't quite willing to risk it. Eventually the boys grew restless and turned their card game into a drinking game. Anyone who won a hand had to chug a beer to give the other guys a chance to catch up or win their money back. It was ridiculous and hilarious all at once.

Scott won a big payday during one round, making everyone else groan at the money they'd lost. A couple of guys gave up and decided to call it a night, and a few others left either to see their girlfriends or to hit up other parties.

Once Scott finished his victory beer, Luke said to him, "Good, now you can pay me for the pill supply I got you last week. I believe you owe me $250."

"Damn," Scott said. "This is why you shouldn't be friends with your dealer." He handed over the money reluctantly.

"Nice doing business with you."

"Whatever, douche."

* * *

><p>Back at the restaurant, the two couples were having a good time chatting and getting to know each other. They ordered an obscene amount of sushi, and the two girls surprised Carlos and Logan by how much they could eat. It was impressive.<p>

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Hannah asked Logan with a smile.

"Because I've never met a girl who can eat as much as Carlos," Logan answered. "No offense."

"None taken. I'm a competitive swimmer. I practically have to eat my body weight in calories every day to survive."

"It's true," Anya said, sipping on her green tea. "Haven't you ever noticed how she's constantly eating? And yet never gains weight."

"That's cool," Carlos said. He fumbled with his chopsticks a little and dropped a piece of sushi into his bowl of soy sauce with a splash. "Whoops."

"Here, let me help you." Anya reached across the table and placed the chopsticks properly in Carlos' hand, teaching him how to grip and control them.

"Thanks," he smiled.

"So how long have you been swimming?" Logan asked Hannah.

"Since I was ten or so. I'm not super hardcore about it. It's just something fun I like to do, and it helps keep my mind off school, which is always a plus."

"What about you? What do you do in your spare time?" Carlos directed his question to Anya.

Anya was a ballet dancer. She was fluent in Spanish because her grandmother was from Mexico and had taught her from a young age. She was in AP French at school because she felt taking Spanish would be a cop-out. She was in Drama with James and Michelle, but opted not to audition for the play; she wanted to work on costuming and makeup. On Sundays she volunteered at her church teaching Sunday school, and she was also the vice-president of the student council at school.

"Wow," Carlos said. "You definitely make me feel like I need to join a few more extracurricular activities."

"Seriously," Logan agreed. "You're like a walking college résumé."

Anya shrugged. "I like to stay busy. No big deal. What about you guys though? You must be busy too, being in a band and all."

Carlos fidgeted uncomfortably. "Not so much anymore."

"Six months ago, we were back and forth constantly between school, recording, dance rehearsals, interviews, and performing," Logan explained. "But then our producer left the company and our label pretty much told us to peace on out, but didn't release us from our contract. So we can't even sign with a new producer."

"That's awful!" Hannah exclaimed. "So what are you guys gonna do?"

"We're trying to write some songs ourselves, but it's harder now with school and everything, and we haven't even really thought about performing or recording, because those cost money we don't really have," Carlos told them.

"Wow," said Anya. "So you're really doing the normal thing for a while?"

"For the most part. And for the time being," Logan replied. "But we're not quitting just yet."

* * *

><p>"Why isn't Nate here?" Scott asked. "This was supposed to be a boys' night."<p>

"He's with my sister," Derek answered, rolling his eyes.

James kept his head down, pretending to be uninterested in the conversation.

"I can't believe they're actually still together. Are they like engaged yet, or what?"

"Please," Luke scoffed. "They'll never break up. Especially not now. Isn't that right, Derek?"

"Man, shut up," Derek said.

"Why won't they ever break up?" James had to know.

"Because," Luke answered, "They're practically betrothed."

Well, _that _wasn't the answer he was expecting. "…Betrothed?"

"Not really," Derek said, glaring at Luke for opening his mouth. "Nate's dad and our dad are negotiating a business deal. It's a lot of bull shit if you ask me, but our parents kind are kind of hinting that it would be good for the business if they eventually got married, because that would like, ensure that all the profit stays in the family. And also it would keep both parties from screwing the other one out of their money in case anything goes wrong since they'd be family."

Kendall noticed that James' grip on his can of beer had tightened, though his face remained impassive. He didn't know what James was hiding, but it wasn't hard to guess that he had some sort of a thing for Derek's twin sister. And learning that she basically had no way out of her current relationship must have sucked.

"Ha, and how do you feel knowing that one day Nathan is going to be your brother-in-law?" Scott teased. "Little baby Nathan Hall juniors running around with their uncle Derek."

"Can we please stop talking about my sister's love life? It's grossing me out."

"What's the matter, Derek? Not comfortable thinking about 'Chelle bearing Nate's children one day?" Luke said, grinning maliciously. "Or is, wait, it's not her _love _life that grosses you out, is it? It's her _sex _life!"

"Ughhh, stop!"

"Besides," Scott said, joining in the torture, "That's probably not nearly as grossed out as she was when she caught you and Holly hooking up in _her _room."

Kendall and James burst out laughing at this. "In your sister's room, Derek? Come on!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Dude, I was wasted," Derek tried to defend himself. "And our rooms are like mirror images of each other, I got confused. And Holly wasn't exactly being _patient,_ if you know what I mean. 'Chelle flipped out and made our parents buy her a brand new mattress. Told them why and everything."

"Ouch," Kendall cringed. "What did they say?"

Derek shrugged nonchalantly. "My dad gave me this whole 'You must respect women, Derek, and that includes your sister' speech and my mom was like shocked and crying about how she was too young to be a grandmother and I better be really fucking careful."

"Or really careful fucking," Scott jabbed.

The boys all laughed at this, even James, who seemed to have put Michelle out of his mind for the time being, but Kendall made a mental note to confront him about it later. He still felt like James was hiding something about her, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. It wasn't like James to be secretive—it wasn't like any of them.

"Oh, you're hilarious," Derek answered, throwing a pretzel at Scott's face and calling Kendall's attention back to the conversation. "A real comedian."

"Yes, yes. I'm here all week."

"Fucker."

"Tool."

"Douche bag."

* * *

><p>"It's going well, don't you think?" Logan asked Carlos. They were back in the car, following Hannah back to her house.<p>

"Yeah," he replied. "Anya's really cool. And she's not weirded out by me, which is always a plus. I just have to figure out some subtle way of finding out if she likes corn dogs and/or hockey. If it's both I'm asking her to marry me."

"Hah, what, with no ring?"

"Oh, good point. Guess I'll save it for our next date," Carlos said thoughtfully. Logan laughed and shook his head, pulling up the driveway of Hannah's large house.

Hannah and Anya were waiting for the boys on the front porch. Anya had given up trying to impress them and taken off her heels, carrying them in one hand as she waited for Hannah to unlock the door. Carlos thought she looked really cute standing there barefooted in her lavender dress, brushing the bangs out of her eyes.

Logan recognized the look on Carlos' face. He had it bad. His goofy smile said it all. When Anya caught Carlos looking at her, she blushed and smiled too.

The inside of the house was clean and perfect, much like the other two girls' houses they'd been to. It wasn't as huge as Michelle's or as modern as Naomi's, which made it seem more comfortable and inviting. She gave them a quick tour of the bottom floor and showed them the backyard and pool before they all settled in the living room.

Hannah popped in a DVD of some mindless comedy that they could all quote extensively, cracking themselves up by using different voices for different characters.

"You guys ready for some dessert?" she asked about halfway through the movie.

"Always," Carlos answered immediately. "What have you got?"

Anya got up from her spot in between Logan and Carlos and went to the kitchen. "We thought we'd do something ourselves," she explained, holding up a box of brownie mix.

"Cool. I have to warn you though; Carlos sucks at cooking and baking. And making anything other than a bowl of cereal," Logan said seriously.

"Hey, not true! I can make macaroni and Hot Pockets _and _ravioli!"

"Heating up a can of Chef Boyardee and putting it in a different bowl does not qualify as 'making ravioli," Logan said, thumping Carlos on the head.

The girls laughed at their banter as Carlos and Logan joined them in the kitchen, still bickering with each other. Hannah gave Anya an extra apron, and the boys took off their button downs in order to avoid getting dirty, wearing matching white t shirts underneath. They had fun cracking the eggs, though Carlos accidentally dropped some eggshell in the batter, and they had to fish it out. Once it was done, Hannah poured the mixture into a pan and Logan stuck it in the oven for her.

Anya stuck her finger in the now empty bowl of batter, unable to resist tasting it. Everyone else did the same, until Carlos took a little bit and dotted her nose with it.

"Oh hey, it looks like you got some on you," he grinned.

"Gee, how could that have happened?" she said sarcastically, wiping her face with a napkin.

They had to let the brownies cool off before they could eat them, but the four teens had fun laughing and finishing a second movie, chatting about school and life in a band. They all enjoyed each other's company, and Logan was glad that Carlos and Anya were hitting it off. If he was honest with himself, he was having fun with Hannah too—he was surprised to find that he hadn't spent the whole evening thinking about Camille and comparing the two girls.

When the boys left for the night, Hannah and Anya walked them to the door, bidding them farewell with a light hug and a kiss on the cheek each. When Hannah closed the door, Carlos touched his hand to spot where Anya had kissed him, but he brought it down quickly and shoved it in his pocket when he caught Logan smirking at him and trying not to laugh.

"Sooo, I take it you had a good time," Logan laughed as they got in the car.

Carlos tried and failed to look noncommittal. "Oh, er… It was fun," he shrugged. "Did _you _have fun?"

"I did, actually. Hannah's cool. I could see myself going out with her again."

"That's good. We don't need you sad-drinking your weekends away anymore. Especially since no one could be bothered to take care of you except for me."

"Alright, alright. No more sad-drinking. Just happy drinking from now on," Logan said with a grin.

"Fantastic," Carlos replied sarcastically.

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?"<p>

"Sure. Should I not be?"

"You just seemed kinda off for awhile there."

"I'm fine."

"Seriously, dude. Is this about Derek's sister?" Kendall finally decided to come right out and ask.

James looked up sharply. "Why would I care about Derek's sister?"

"Come on, dude. You're friends with her. _And _you kissed. You like her."

"Kendall, how many times do I have to tell you the kiss didn't matter before you believe me? Listen very carefully, okay? The. Kiss. Was. For. A. Photo shoot. It was work. It didn't mean anything and I _don't _like her. I think she's hot; there's a difference."

"And that's really all there is to it?" Kendall asked, not believing him. "Tell the truth."

James looked Kendall in the eye. "That's all there is to it. Going after girls with boyfriends is _your _area of expertise, if I remember correctly," he said harshly.

Kendall was stung by that comment. "Jo didn't really have a boyfriend!" He couldn't believe James was throwing Jo in his face like that. He knew Kendall was still reeling from her departure to New Zealand.

"So?" James snorted, moving past Kendall to go upstairs to his room. "You didn't know that until Katie told you. Didn't stop you, did it? So why don't you back off about Michelle? You don't know everything, Kendall."

He left Kendall speechless at the bottom of the stairs just as Logan and Carlos came in from their double date still laughing and teasing each other.

"What's up, buddy?" Carlos asked, seeing the annoyed look on Kendall's face.

Kendall shook his head. "Nothing," he said. "How was your date? Did Logan treat you right?"

"Very funny, jackass," Logan said.

"Just joking, man, chill," Kendall laughed. "Seriously, how did it go?"

"Awesome," Carlos answered enthusiastically.

"Yeah, he's about ready to propose to Anya," Logan said.

Kendall grinned. "Can I be best man?"

"I'll have to pick out of a hat," Carlos said seriously. "There's no way I can choose between the three of you."

"Um, I think your brother is supposed to be your best man, Carlitos," Logan told him. "Brothers trump friends."

"Oh, you're right. Darn."

The boys laughed and talked downstairs, spilling details about their evening. James never came back down, and for the rest of the weekend he acted very cool towards Kendall. Never outright hostile, but he definitely wasn't his normal friendly self. This only furthered Kendall's suspicions that _something _was up, but he knew if he asked James any more about it, they'd just get into a fight, and he didn't want that. Kendall supposed he'd just have to wait until James was ready to talk, though he did not like the idea of James keeping secrets from them.

Didn't being best friends mean anything?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

**Alright! There you have it. What is James going to do with this information? Should he confront Michelle about it? Will Carlos have a serious shot at a relationship? Can Logan really let go of Camille and try to make it work with Hannah? Stay tuned! **

**Also… It's my birthday, and I feel no shame in asking for reviews as a gift from you guys. Pretty please? With a cherry on top? Questions, comments, concerns, criticism—all are welcome! Just let me know what you're thinking! **

**And shout out if you found this through Tumblr! Remember to check out wintershine(dot)tumblr(dot)com for updates on my progress and detailed notes about each chapter! **


	14. Burning Up

**Mild to moderate sexual content ahead… Just a warning! Lol I'm not that great at writing smut. Let me know how it turned out. If only I could rate this "T-plus"**

Chapter 14: Burning Up

_I'm hot, you're cold  
>You go around like you know<br>__Who I am, but you don't.  
>You got me on my toes.<em>

_I'm slipping into the lava  
>And I'm trying to keep from going under<br>Baby you turn the temperature hotter  
>And I'm burning up, burning up for you, baby.<em>

* * *

><p>On Monday afternoon, Kendall arrived home to find that his mother had invited her boyfriend, John, over for dinner. He was sweaty and irritated, having just gotten back from two hours of lacrosse practice during which he'd been body checked and knocked on his butt repeatedly. James wasn't yet home from play rehearsal—he wouldn't be for at least another hour and a half—but Logan and Carlos were upstairs in the game room, strumming out a new melody on the guitar. Kendall paused to listen before going to take a shower and get ready for dinner.<p>

"_Help me, DJ, play my favorite song.  
>Make the speakers shake!<br>Now everyone wants to sing along," _Carlos sang.

"_The party doesn't start 'til the sun goes down,  
>that's when everything starts moving.<br>Everybody up when the sun goes down.  
>The music isn't on 'til it's way too loud,<br>that's when everyone starts dancing.  
>Everybody shouts when the sun goes down…"<em>

He trailed off, pausing to let Logan write down what he'd just said.

"New song?" Kendall asked from the doorway.

Carlos and Logan looked up. "Yeah. We were feeling inspired," Carlos shrugged. "What's up?"

"John's coming over for family dinner," Kendall said, looking irked. "I'm gonna shower. Be back in a bit."

He left the room and the two boys continued working on their song until Logan's phone rang loudly from the table in front of him.

"It's Kelly!" he said, surprised. "Hey, Kelly," he said into the phone.

"_Hey, Logan! How are you?"_

"Good. Carlos and I are working on a song right now."

"_Perfect, put the phone on speaker. Listen, have you thought about doing any shows or anything? You know, locally?"_

"Well… not really," he replied honestly. "We're kind of confused about how to go about that."

"_I think I can help."_

Kelly had a friend who was opening a new venue for small music shows and needed help booking some acts to start playing there. He hoped it would become kind of a new cool place for teens and young adults to hang out, with live music acts and a kind of lounge area for people to sit and chat or enjoy the show. It was a fledgling business, so he was relying on friends in the industry and word of mouth to get the buzz out about the place.

"_I've already checked out the place. It's really cool and it's open to everyone ages fourteen and up, and younger with a parent." _

"Sounds awesome," Carlos said. "But who would we talk to about booking shows? And wouldn't we have to pay the fee?

"_Well, here's the thing. Gustavo actually opened a band savings account for you guys after your first single started selling, so the money from your sales and concerts since then has been going into that account. Now, it's not THAT much, because you guys did receive paychecks too, but it's a pretty significant amount. Enough for you to book some shows. The good news is, you pay the fee to book shows, and you receive a percentage of the money made from ticket sales. And since Griffin isn't the one paying the fee, he can't take a cut out of the money you make while you're not on his dime."_

"Gustavo started a savings account for us?" Logan repeated. "Wow."

"This is great. Thanks, Kelly," Carlos said.

"_No problem. I'll leave you the number to call. Let me know once you get it worked out!"_

Logan and Carlos were dumbfounded at this stroke of luck; they couldn't wait to tell Kendall and James. Thank God Kelly was still looking out for them.

* * *

><p>James sat in the audience of the theater, watching as Michelle and Bryan, the guy who'd been cast as Romeo, took directions from Mrs. Franks. Everyone who wasn't in the scene they were working on either stayed in the actors' studio running lines or watched from the audience. James was halfway paying attention to his script and halfway listening to the actors work on their dialogue.<p>

Rehearsal seemed to go on forever, and James spent the majority of it watching other people practice. It was moving slowly, but Mrs. Franks had told them it would be like this for the first couple of weeks until everyone had memorized all their lines and cues.

He'd talked to Michelle a little bit over the weekend, but he hadn't mentioned anything he'd learned about her and Nate for fear of upsetting her or making her think he was stalking her. They didn't talk about Nate, but there was definite flirting, and it was not one-sided. There was definitely _something _between them; they just had yet to define it. James was okay with that. He'd let her call the shots. He just liked being with her. It was dangerous, he knew, pursuing a girl like Michelle. He was so rarely in a position to be the one being rejected that he didn't quite know how to handle it. But it wasn't in his nature not to go after something he wanted, and dangerous or not, he wanted Michelle. He shoved aside the nagging thought in his head that it wasn't right. Michelle knew she had a boyfriend, and so far it hadn't stopped her from being with James. And if it didn't stop her, why should it stop him?

If he had stopped to really analyze it, he might have found that the danger and the excitement of being sneaky was probably half the reason he wanted her in the first place. _We always want what we can't have, _he thought wryly.

After rehearsal he caught up with her. Since he was the last one of the boys left at school, he was forced to get a ride or take the bus home.

The two walked in silence, until—

"Do you want to come over?" Michelle asked.

James paused. "Like…to your house? Now?"

She nodded.

"What about your parents? And your brother?"

"They won't be around. Derek always hangs out with Scott after lacrosse. He's probably helping him sell Adderall to ninth graders…"

"Yeah. Let's go."

At Michelle's house, she led him up to her room, where he'd been once before—the night of her party where he and Logan had gone upstairs with her friends to take E. It was before he'd really gotten to know her; it felt like ages ago, but in reality it had barely been a month, if that.

She shut the door and locked it. James sat down on her bed. His heart was pounding. He wasn't naïve—he knew there was nothing innocent in her offer to bring him here. She turned to face him and unbuttoned the white shirt she had on—she was still wearing her school uniform—revealing a thin white shirt underneath, through which James could faintly see the pattern of her teal-colored bra.

"This doesn't make us like, a _thing,_" she told him as she let the button-down down fall to the floor. "You need to understand that now." She walked towards him.

James nodded. "Got it."

"Are you sure? I need to know that you realize that this has to be a no strings attached arrangement. No emotional involvement."

"Understood." He grabbed her hips and pulled her to him.

"Say it," she whispered. "Out loud."

"No strings attached," he repeated, planting a kiss on her neck. "No emotional involvement."

"Good."

Michelle put her mouth on his, feeling him part his lips instantly. James let her use her tongue to explore his mouth and brought his hand to her hair, gently tugging out the band that was holding up her ponytail so he could run his fingers through her dark hair. She pulled away momentarily in order to straddle his waist, causing the khaki skirt to ride up. Her hands moved to his chest, undoing the buttons on his own uniform shirt and pushing it off of him when she was done. He too wore a white t-shirt underneath his uniform and she wasted no time in getting that off of him too.

He snaked his arms around her waist, tracing his fingertips over her lower back, pushing her shirt upwards until she finally sat up straight and took it off, flinging it aside to join the other articles of clothing on the floor. James let out a quiet groan as Michelle rolled her hips into his, causing a wonderful friction between them that he never wanted to stop. Feeling braver now that he knew she wasn't suddenly going to change her mind and kick him out, he rolled them over so that he was on top, letting his hands roam her body and enjoying hearing her breathing get louder. His hand creeped under her skirt, and he felt her nails dig into his back momentarily when his fingertips moved over her inner thighs.

He supported his weight on one arm so as not to crush her, freeing up room between them so that she could run her hands over his chest and abs. This was about as far as James had really gotten with a girl before, and he wasn't really sure where to go from here. He was content for the moment, but blood was rapidly rushing to his groin and all he could think of was releasing that tension. Michelle seemed to notice this, and instead of pulling away like the last time it had happened, she moved her hands down to his belt buckle.

James' head flopped back onto Michelle's pillow as she pulled the belt off and went to unbutton his khakis. He lifted his hips a little when she tugged at his pants so she could push them down and once again straddled his waist, sucking on his neck just below where she knew a shirt collar would be—she might leave a mark, but no one would know it was there but the two of them. This time they both panted heavily as she pressed her center to his; the friction was much more intense without the barrier of his uniform pants, and James felt himself grow even harder than he already was. He bucked his hips up involuntarily, feeling a surge of pleasure course through him at the contact. It seemed to have affected Michelle too, as she let a soft, almost surprised, "oh" escape from her lips.

He ran his hands over her flat stomach and squeezed her breasts; Michelle bit her lip and moaned quietly. The sound made James smirk and wanted nothing more in that moment than to hear it again. He pushed himself up in to her again and was rewarded with the sound he so desperately wanted to hear.

The smirk was wiped off his face in the next instant.

Michelle surprised—no, shocked—him when she slid her hand beneath the waistband of his boxers and delicately wrapped her fingers around his hardened length. He hadn't even realized his eyes were closed until they flew open at the feel of her hand on his skin.

"Oh, _fuck,_" he said out loud, gripping the sheets. It was Michelle's turn to smirk, but he didn't even notice it—his mind had gone blissfully blank. James breathed hard as she pumped her hand up and down his member, and he did all he could to control the build-up that was rapidly mounting. Sensing he was close, she picked up her pace a little and firmed her grip. She bent her head down to kiss his throat.

"I'm gonna—" he warned her. Michelle rubbed her thumb over the sensitive tip of his penis, which was the last straw. He stopped holding back, releasing his fluid in a wave of intense pleasure that caused him to arch his back and groan louder than he had before.

Michelle, satisfied with her work, kissed him once more on the lips before reaching over to her bedside table to pull out some tissues. She handed a few to James and wiped her hand free of the sticky mess while he attempted to clean himself up. James pulled his pants back up and sat up, suddenly feeling languid and loose. He had a relaxed smile on his face as Michelle hopped off the bed and pulled her skirt back down into place, looking around for her t shirt. She pulled her now messy hair up into a ponytail again, smirking when she caught James staring at her appreciatively. She tossed James his t-shirt and button-down, who caught them easily and started redressing.

They both jumped about a foot in the air when someone knocked on her door.

"Hey, 'Chelle! You home?" The doorknob jiggled a bit but since it was locked, the door remained firmly shut.

James was frozen in place until Michelle snapped him out of his panic by pointing frantically to her closet, motioning for him to get in it.

"I'm home," she called. "What's up, Derek?"

"Why is your door locked?"

Once she was sure James was out of sight, she opened the door. She still hadn't put on her t-shirt. "I was about to go take a shower," she lied easily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Ughh, Michelle!" Derek clapped a hand over his eyes to avoid seeing her in only her bra and skirt. "God, you could have just said so."

Grinning mischievously, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her twin. "Give me a hug, brother," she laughed.

"You're ridiculous," he groaned. But he hugged her back gingerly. "I just wanted to let you know I was home. And that Scott got a supply of E and Adderall today if you want anything while he's still got it."

James had no idea how Michelle could stand there so calmly and have a normal conversation with her brother after having almost been caught with him in her room. But there she was, standing in her wrinkled khaki skirt and teal bra, mulling over a drug purchase and acting as though nothing at all was wrong. James' heart was beating so hard he would have sworn Michelle and Derek could hear it from the doorway.

When Derek left her room, Michelle leaned up against her door and let out a breath. James emerged from the closet still holding his white uniform shirt in his hand, but otherwise fully dressed.

"Now what?" he asked quietly.

"You're gonna have to go out the window," she said apologetically. "I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention to the time."

"It's okay," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

They walked over to the window and before he climbed out onto the trellis, James pulled Michelle in for one last kiss.

"Bye," she breathed.

When he got home, James walked into the house to find everyone sitting in the living room. He felt awkward as everyone stared at him.

"There you are, James," said Mrs. Knight. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, um," James began. "I had rehearsal today…"

"Rehearsal got out at 7," Kendall pointed out.

James checked his watch. It was nearly 9. "Some of the cast hung out afterward," he said evasively.

Mrs. Knight introduced him to John and he shook his hand. He could tell from the corner of his eye that Kendall was watching him, so he did his best to appear as if everything was fine. He chatted with John, being his usual charming self, and bantered with Logan and Carlos. Kendall for some reason had still not really warmed up to his mother's boyfriend even though John had been perfectly nice to him. He didn't really participate in the conversation, instead opting to check his phone about seven minutes or so. Katie gave him a glare that told him to be nicer, but all he did was roll his eyes and take a sip of the soda he was drinking.

John was a heart surgeon at large hospital nearby, so Logan was definitely keen on talking to him about his work. Logan told him that he wanted to be a doctor someday too, but hadn't yet decided what kind. John mentioned that the hospital had a lot of volunteer opportunities for high schoolers interested in the medical profession, and that he should apply if he was serious.

When John finally left, Mrs. Knight walked him out and the boys all went upstairs to do their homework.

"So," Logan started. "Carlos and I have some news."

Kendall and James paid close attention as they explained the phone call they'd had with Kelly earlier that day.

"This is amazing!" James exclaimed. "This is exactly what we need."

"And all we have to do is make the call?" Kendall asked.

"Yep," Carlos said. "Kelly said they're expecting to hear from us this week."

"Wow… I guess it's a good thing you guys are working on a new song, then."

"New song?" James questioned. He felt so out of the loop.

"Something me and Carlos started today," Logan explained. "Just for fun."

The boys did their homework in mostly silence, until Carlos could take it no longer and turned the TV on for background noise. It was on some MTV channel, and all four of the boys stopped to pay attention when Camille appeared on the screen—it was a promotional ad for her new series. She looked beautiful in her fairy costume, and Logan couldn't tell whether it was special effects or just her natural state that made her practically glow.

"Cool special effects," Carlos commented. "Camille looks like she's glowing."

The commercial showed a few clips in succession so that the viewers could get an idea for the plot of the show. It was definitely a series aimed at a female audience, with a female lead character and some really attractive guys, but the four boys all took note of its premiere date so they could be sure to catch it. The series started airing later that week, on Thursday, and they all agreed to be home to watch the first episode.

* * *

><p>On Tuesday afternoon, Logan made the call to Kelly's friend to talk about booking BTR for a show at his place while Carlos listened in. Ben Colby was a fast-talking, enthusiastic man who seemed genuinely excited about having Big Time Rush perform at his venue, appropriately called The Limelight. He had an opening that weekend on Saturday night, and Logan accepted the date, worrying slightly about not having enough time to rehearse. Ben had already hired a live band, so they wouldn't have to worry about finding people to play their music while they sang. He arranged payment of the booking fee and discussed when they would receive their cut of the money. Ben assured him that tickets would be available starting that evening for anyone who wanted to buy early, in case Logan and the other boys wanted to spread the word about their show to their friends.<p>

Carlos and Logan were working on their song again when Kendall got home from practice. He limped into the room and collapsed onto the couch, not even bothering to take off his cleats. Kendall's lacrosse practices were getting more and more intense, as they had their first game coming up on Friday, and he was becoming more and more battered by the rough nature of the sport. The seniors on the team liked to show the underclassmen who was in charge by throwing their weight around, so Kendall and the other juniors and sophomores only had two choices: run faster or get hit.

James returned home from play rehearsal shortly after Kendall and was relieved not to be grilled on his whereabouts. Though, if he _had_ been asked, he could rest easy knowing that today at least, he had come straight home. He and Kendall listened while Carlos and Logan worked on the song, occasionally throwing out suggestions for chords or adding in lyrics when they got stuck.

Katie was also in the room, doing her own homework while the boys worked on the song. She took out her camera and filmed them as they talked through it and played different parts here and there. They waved to the camera and made silly faces and narrated a little bit, knowing that she would probably put it online. She was sort of becoming their own personal publicist, in addition to being very popular at her middle school since it was common knowledge that Katie Knight was related Kendall Knight and the rest of BTR.

The next day a lunch, their friends teased them about their video. Hollywood Teen Beat had already posted it to their site, and the boys kept getting looks and whispers in the hallways whenever they passed. They told their friends about the gig on Saturday night, and everyone made plans to meet up there to watch their show. Anya was the only one who had even heard of them before they started attending West Beverly Hills, so the others were interested in hearing their stuff. Even Derek and Scott told Kendall they would refrain from heckling them while they were onstage.

"Gee, thanks, guys," Kendall said sarcastically. "We really appreciate that."

On Thursday evening, all four boys plus Katie and Mrs. Knight settled into the living room to watch the premiere of Camille's show. It was weird and yet somehow fitting to watch Camille on TV. She was infamous at the Palm Woods for her method-acting, and they wondered what she had done to prepare herself for the role of a teenage girl who discovers that she is actually a fairy. Logan noticed that the guy Camille was dating wasn't in the episode at all—wasn't he supposed to be her main love interest? Instead, practically all of Camille's scenes were with some other guy who played her classmate. The episode ended with a cliffhanger—Camille, as Laurel, awoke one Saturday morning to find that a bump on her back she'd thought was a pimple had sprouted two blue and white petal-like wings.

The boys had to admit, the show was intriguing. Though if any of their male friends asked, they were watching it strictly in support of their friend.

"Camille's actually really good," James commented as the credits began rolling. "I can't believe this her first major job."

"So, what is she? Like a flower?" Carlos asked. "She's growing petals on her back."

"Nah, a fairy," Logan answered. "That's what she told me when she first got the part."

"Do you know how much shi—er, crap, we're going to get from the guys if they find out we're watching this show?" Kendall said. "We'll never live it down." He earned himself a reproving look from his mother for his near-swear.

"Hey, it is completely justified to watch a girly show when someone you know personally is the star of it," Logan defended.

"Especially if you dated them," Carlos cracked.

"Gee, thanks." He threw a couch pillow at Carlos, who promptly used it to whack Logan on the back of the head.

"Alright, settle down, you two," said Mrs. Knight, intervening before they broke out into a full mock-fight.

While everyone settled in to do their homework for the night, Logan took out his phone and texted Camille.

_Hey. Just wanted to say we all watched the show tonight. It looks really good. You were amazing._

He waited a few minutes, but received no response. Slightly put out, he dug into his bag and retrieved his laptop, not quite ready to dive into the pile of AP History notes he had to go over. He surfed Hollywood Teen Beat, reading the comments on the latest post. Camille was featured holding hands with her boyfriend; they were walking down some street in downtown L.A. The post was full of people discussing the episode that had just aired—nearly everyone was excited and couldn't wait for the rest of the series. It looked as though the show was all set to become a hit.

As he continued scrolling, he was surprised to find that the website had also posted the news of their upcoming show.

"Check it out, guys," he said to the other boys.

They all gathered around to look at the short article.

_Looks like Big Time Rush is all set to make a Big Time Comeback! The boy band is confirmed to be playing a show this Saturday night at new venue The Limelight. No word yet on the set list, or if they'll be playing that new song we posted earlier this week, but we're sure it'll be a rockin' good time no matter what. Good to know the boys haven't forgotten about their fans while they take a hiatus! What do you think? Will you be going to their show this weekend? We know we will!_

"You know, I'm really starting to like this website," James said when he was finished reading. "How'd they even know we were performing this weekend?"

"They do always say nice things about us," Carlos commented. "And they're getting the word out about the show. Look at the comments."

They were excited to see that the vast majority of the comments were things like "Can't wait!" and "Definitely going to this show!" They did run across the occasional negative ones though, telling them to "Just give up already," or "Stop trying to make them happen. They had their shot."

Logan shut the laptop after that, refusing to read through anything else.

By the time he was getting ready for bed, Camille still hadn't responded to his text message. He told himself that it was just a coincidence. Maybe she didn't hear her phone. Or she left it somewhere. It definitely wasn't that she was ignoring him. Right? He shook his head as he pulled out a book to read before bed. He shouldn't care, even if she _was _ignoring him. They were both moving on. Still, it wasn't like her to disregard him for no reason. There'd been plenty of times when she didn't speak to him because she was angry, but she never ignored him just because. Maybe that was what happened when you had a boyfriend, though.

Feeling tired now, Logan turned out his lamp and rolled over in his bed, getting comfortable.

He was already asleep when his phone lit up with a new text.

_From: Camille_

_Thanks so much! Sorry this is so late. We had a screening party at my director's house. Glad you guys liked it! Heard you have a gig this weekend, way to let me know. Hope you don't mind if I show up uninvited :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14! Yay. Questions, comments, criticism, suggestions! Please review :)<strong>

**Disclaimers: The song Carlos and Logan are working on is actually "When the Sun Goes Down" by Selena Gomez. Also, the name of the venue- The Limelight- is taken from a bar my friends and I hang out at haha. **

**Next time: Kendall's first lacrosse game, the boys' performance at the limelight, more James/Michelle shenanigans, and Carlos/Anya cuteness! **


	15. Get'cha Head in the Game

**Chapter 15! Hope you guys like it. Be sure to let me know what you think! I'll be your best friend :) **

Chapter 15: Get'cha Head in the Game

Friday morning, Kendall woke up about fifteen minutes earlier than usual so that he could be sure to pack his bags correctly. He checked and double checked his equipment making sure he had everything—helmet, stick, shoulder pads, cleats, socks, uniform, etc, etc, etc. He always felt nervous on days when he had a big game, even back in Minnesota when he'd been captain of the hockey team. The nerves gave him an adrenaline rush to feed off of during the game, allowing him to block everything out except the ice. He hoped it would be the same for tonight. Practice had been brutal—he had the bruises to prove it—but he was improving. It was getting easier to run, easier to dodge when he saw someone out to body check him, and he had better control of his stick than he had when he first started.

He made it downstairs before any of the other boys, even Logan, and found his mom packing their lunches.

"Morning, sweetie," she greeted him, kissing him on the head.

"Hey, Mom," he replied, stifling a yawn and grabbing a box cereal from Katie as she was about to pour herself a bowl. He grinned when she crossed her arms and glared at him.

"I invited John to come see your game tonight," his mother said casually.

Kendall dropped his spoon with a loud clatter. "What? Why?" he asked, trying to mask the rudeness in his voice.

"Because," she said with a look, "he likes you kids. And because you're important to me and therefore, important to him. He's trying to get on your good side, you know. I would appreciate it if you made a little bit of an effort to get to know him."

"Why should I?" Kendall muttered under his breath.

"Kendall, what is this about?" Mrs. Knight asked him. "Is there something you want to talk to me about?"

"What? No, Mom."

"Because if this is about your father—"

"Mom! It's fine," he said as Logan strolled into the kitchen. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Sweetie, if something's bothering you…" she persisted.

"Seriously, Mom. Just drop it."

Logan and Katie looked back and forth between Kendall and Mrs. Knight as if they were watching a tennis game, waiting for the return volley. Mrs. Knight looked like she wanted to press the issue, but she knew her son well enough to realize when he had checked himself out of a conversation. They all ate their breakfast in relative silence, waiting for James and Carlos to come downstairs. James arrived looking perfect as usual, not a hair out of place, his clothes ironed and clean. He hopped up on the counter and made himself some toast, and was just finishing up when Logan checked his watch.

"Is it time?" Kendall asked.

"Almost," Logan replied. "We better get ready."

The three boys put away their dishes and grabbed their bags, preparing to walk out the door.

"Three…two…one!"

Carlos came tearing into the kitchen like a tornado. His shirt was untucked as usual, but he'd also misbuttoned it this morning, so he looked like he'd tried to get dressed without ever opening his eyes. Mrs. Knight, prepared for the onslaught, held out a granola bar and a glass of orange juice, along with Carlos' lunch.

"Thanks, Mama Knight," he said quickly, grabbing the juice from her and downing it in a few short gulps. He raced around the kitchen, throwing things into the backpack that Katie held out for him, and pausing briefly to stuff his feet into the shoes that Kendall had tossed him. Like a well-oiled machine, Logan automatically removed Carlos' helmet from his head and left it on the kitchen counter, while James ran a comb through Carlos' hair as he finished his granola bar.

The four boys waved goodbye to Mrs. Knight as they piled in the car.

* * *

><p>When Kendall arrived at the lunch table that day, he sat down in his usual spot. Logan and James were already there; Carlos had gone to buy himself more soda; Naomi, Michelle, and Nathan were at the other end of the table; and Hannah and Anya sat side by side across from Logan.<p>

He'd just taken out his sandwich when Derek and Scott walked up.

"Come on, Knight," Scott said tilting his head towards another table a few rows away. "It's game day. We sit with the team."

"Tradition of ours," Derek explained as Kendall gathered up his stuff. "It's a team bonding thing."

Kendall could appreciate team bonding. He'd always made the team sit together on game days back in Minnesota, too. The table of rowdy boys greeted the threesome with pats on the back and loud calls. Even the seniors were being nice to them—in practice it was cool to rough up the underclassmen, but on game days, you wanted everyone to feel good, like they mattered, and like they were necessary to the team.

The boys laughed and joked throughout lunch, pumping themselves up for the game against their rivals, the Woodland Heights Trojans. It was bound to be a tough game—the Trojans had been locked in a bitter rivalry with West Beverly for as long as anyone could remember—and even though lacrosse wasn't that popular of a sport at their school, everyone would come out just to see if they would beat Woodland.

No pressure.

Throughout English, he could barely focus on the in-class essay he was supposed to be working on, and during Spanish he tapped his pencil on desk instead of learning the new verb conjugations he would need for his homework. _Guess Carlos and Logan are gonna have to help me with this one, _he thought, gathering up his books as the bell rang.

James, Carlos, and Logan were all waiting for him at his locker.

"What's up, guys?"

"We just wanted to wish you luck, tonight," Logan said.

"Yeah," James echoed. "Who would have thought Kendall Knight would ever give up on hockey for another sport?"

"Always knew you were a jock at heart, buddy," Carlos said, clapping Kendall on the back.

Kendall grinned in spite of their good-natured teasing. "Thanks, you guys. See you tonight, yeah? Save my mom and Katie a place to sit, okay? Oh, and I guess John, too. She invited him."

"Sure thing," Logan answered.

"Cool. Catch you guys after the game." He headed off to the locker room for his team meeting.

* * *

><p>"You going to the lacrosse game?" James asked Michelle. They were in the actors' studio for the time-being, supposedly going over their scripts, but really just chatting in a corner, sitting on the floor with their things strewn about, surrounding them.<p>

"Yeah," she replied casually. "Gotta be there to support Derek. God knows our parents won't be there." She picked at her nails for moment. "Nathan's gonna be there," she added. "So… you know."

"I'll keep my distance," he told her. "Don't worry."

"Thanks," she said quietly.

They sat in silence for a moment, neither one meeting the other's eyes.

"I'd break up with him if I could," she blurted out suddenly.

James looked up sharply. "That's your business. We're not emotionally involved, remember?"

Michelle pursed her lips momentarily. "I know, I just… He actually tried dumping me at the beginning of the summer," she said. "I was… devastated. I loved him and I found out he'd been cheating on me for weeks. Then all of a sudden he wanted me back and by that point I wasn't sure I wanted _him_ back. But my dad… my dad told me I had to. "

"You can't let your dad make that decision for you," James told her.

"He'll disown me," Michelle said flatly. "If anything goes wrong with this business deal he'll never forgive me. That's why I told you not to get attached. This—whatever this is that we have or that we're doing—it's not going to last. It can't. And I'm sorry, I should have stayed away from you. You don't deserve this."

James glanced around, checking that no one was watching them. Everyone was absorbed in their scripts or trying on costumes. He pulled her against him in a brief but firm hug. He closed his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him tentatively and breathed in the scent of her hair.

"The worst part is, Nate acts like everything's fine. He still holds my hand and takes me on dates and kisses me goodnight. He does everything right, but I _know _he doesn't really want to be with me anymore. He apologized to me and everything for cheating and said it would never happen again. We look like this perfect couple to everyone and no one realizes how fucked up it all is except for Derek." She laughed bitterly. "Actually, no. That's not the worst part. That worst part is that I—" She cut herself off.

"That you still have feelings for him," James finished for her.

She nodded miserably. "I didn't want to drag you into this."

"I don't care about the drama with you and Nate and your parents or whatever, okay? I like being with you. We'll figure out the rest as it comes. If it's any consolation, Derek's not very happy about it either," James said.

"How do you know?"

"Kendall and I went to Scott's guys' night thing last week. That guy Luke was messing with Derek over you and Nate getting married someday."

"Luke's a jackass."

"He seemed alright."

"You haven't spent enough time with him."

A member of the tech crew poked her head into the actors' studio. "Mercutio! You're up in 5!"

"That's my cue," James said, standing up from his spot on the floor. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"It's fine. See you at the game."

* * *

><p>Logan and Carlos arrived at the game about a half hour early, knowing they had to save seats for James, Mrs. Knight, Katie, and John. There were a few people already in the stands and waiting in line at the concession stand. They watched as the lacrosse team went through their warm-up drills, trying to pick out which player was Kendall. It was hard to tell when they all had helmets and gear on that disguised their faces and body types.<p>

"What about that one?" Carlos pointed to a guy drinking from a water bottle.

"Nah, he's too short," Logan said, squinting at him. "What about him?"

"Kendall never tucks his jersey in until the last minute," Carlos replied, rebuffing Logan's suggestion.

"This is stupid, we should have just asked him what his jersey number is."

"Wait! That's him! Number 9!" Carlos exclaimed.

Logan looked to where Carlos was pointing—it was him. Kendall's walk was unmistakable. They waved to James as he came up the bleachers towards them, and he sat behind the pair, leaning back and stretching out.

"How was rehearsal?" Logan asked.

"Alright," James said. "We worked on my first scene today, it was pretty cool. Mercutio's a lot more fun than I thought he would be."

"Yeah, you get an awesome death scene."

"You die in the play?" Carlos asked.

Logan rolled his eyes. "We read the play freshman year, Carlos."

"Um, correction. _You _read the play freshman year. I read the Cliff's notes. Most of them, anyway."

"Ha. No, it's gonna be awesome. I get fake stabbed in the chest and we're gonna have fake blood and everything."

"Nice."

The boys were still talking when Mrs. Knight strolled into view with Katie and John. Katie spotted them and pointed, leading the way. She squeezed in between Logan and Carlos, while Mrs. Knight and John sat beside James.

"Kendall's number 9," Logan told them. "He's over there, look." They watched as Kendall caught a ball that was flung at him and effortlessly tossed it to someone else in one fluid movement.

Coach Jenkins' whistle sounded shrilly and he called the boys over to the bench to announce the starting lineup.

"Alright, boys! Remember, the first game of the season is as important as the last. You've all been working hard to get ready, and it's been paying off. Last year was a disappointment, getting knocked out of the playoffs in the semi-finals, but I feel confident that if you all continue to put in the time and energy that you've shown so far, we have a real shot at winning the division this year. That said, listen for your names—I'm only going to call the lineup once:

In goal I have Woodson, with Halsey as backup; defending will be Reeb, Christenson, and Foster; midfielders are Elton, Dawson, and Garza; and attacking I have Hollis, McKinney, and Knight."

Derek clapped Kendall on the back in congratulation. Kendall couldn't keep the grin off his face—he was starting!

Coach Jenkins stepped aside to let their team captain pump them up.

Josh Hollis gathered everyone around. "Alright," he said in a clear, confident voice. "Let's do this, Falcons! We have 48 minutes of work to do out there! I want to see everyone going hard or going home! Got it?"

"Got it!" the team chanted back in unison.

"Who are we?" He yelled.

"West Bev!"

"_Who are we?"_

"West Bev!"

"_What do we do?"_

"Win!"

"_Go hard!"_

"Go home!"

"_That's right! Falcons on three! One! Two! Three!"_

"Falcons!"

The guys all jumped up and down, getting their adrenaline flowing. Kendall tucked in his jersey and strapped his helmet on. Game time.

He looked out into the bleachers, squinting around for his family. He spotted Katie and waved to her. She flashed him a thumbs-up. He took his position on the field, stick at the ready, and waited for the face off.

The whistle blew and the game began. Woodland Heights took first possession of the ball and moved up the field. West Beverly defended well, and one of Kendall's teammates succeeded in tripping up one of his opponents and procuring the ball. However, Woodland had some excellent defenders; Kendall thought that they must have been able to mind-read, because it seemed that every time he or Derek or Josh got near the goal, the defenders swooped in and denied a score. Kendall was sweating with the exertion of running up and down the field, but he felt good to be moving around.

The ball was passed to an opponent a few yards away from him. Tensing up, he ran towards the boy, attacking for control of the ball. His opponent was larger than he was, and surprisingly quick. Kendall attacked but the boy stopped short, handling the ball deftly. He used a spin move to get around Kendall, and when he turned to find his opponent, the boy had already passed the ball to another teammate. Frustrated, Kendall ran after him, but he was too late. The teammate had gotten off a hard shot. Luckily, West Beverly's goalkeeper was ready for the shot, anticipating its direction, and made the save. Even though they didn't score, Kendall mentally kicked himself for allowing the boy to beat him.

Both teams were playing well, considering it was only the first match of the season. The score was still tied 0-0 at the half. Coach Jenkins made some substitutions in order to give the boys on the field a rest, and Kendall found himself on the bench at the start of the second half. While he was out, Woodland scored twice, and West Beverly scored once. Coach Jenkins put Kendall and Derek back in for the final quarter. A midfielder passed the ball to Kendall who took a few steps forward before noticing that two big guys were headed straight for him. He managed to pass the ball off to Derek, who was now wide open, but he still took a hard hit as both defenders crashed into him, knocking him to the ground and forcing all the air out of his lungs. It was worth it when he heard the cheers. Derek had scored a goal. The game was tied.

"_Number 14, Derek McKinney, with the goal! Kendall Knight, number 9, with the assist_!" He heard the commentator exclaim over the cheers.

Woodland doubled their efforts against West Beverly, but Jay Woodson, their goalie, made two spectacular saves. There were just over two minutes remaining in the game.

"Knight! We're running C!" Kendall pointed at his captain, Josh Hollis, to show he'd heard him.

'C' was a play they'd spent the better part of the last week perfecting—he, Derek, and Josh could run it in their sleep. Midfielder Bryan Garza flung the ball to Josh, who was the middle attacker. Before any of the Woodland defenders could make a move, Josh tossed the ball to Kendall and then sprinted around him. Kendall turned and whipped the ball over to Derek before cutting out around him, and they effectively did a sort of 3-man weave with the ball, causing the defenders to scramble around, trying to find a way to anticipate where the ball was going.

Josh caught the ball again, one-on-one with the goalie now, and faked left. The goalie bought it, crossing his stick, and Josh whipped the ball into the net, scoring a goal with only twelve seconds remaining in the quarter. Kendall and Derek ran towards him, engulfing him in a hug that was soon joined by their midfield teammates. All they had to do was hold Woodland, and they would win the game.

West Beverly won 3-2, thrilling the spectators. They shook hands with the Woodland Heights Trojans before grouping back up to celebrate.

"_Who are we?" _Josh yelled.

"West Bev!" The team roared back.

"_Go hard!"_

"Go home!"

"_Falcons on three! Falcons on three! One! Two! Three!"_

"FALCONS!"

Kendall peeled off his gloves and helmet, waiting for the crowd to disperse a little so he could find everyone. He didn't have long to wait. Katie had broken off from the group and made a bee-line for him, crashing into him for a sweaty hug.

"Good game, big brother," she said, stepping back.

"Thanks, baby sister. Where is everyone?"

"They're coming. Mom's nearly in tears with how proud she is of you."

Kendall rolled his eyes sheepishly. "I didn't even score a goal."

"Like that matters to her."

"There you are! I'm so proud of you, baby!" Mrs. Knight hugged Kendall and kissed him on the forehead.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Very good game, son," said John. He held out his hand for Kendall to shake.

"Uh, thank you," Kendall said shortly. He didn't have any more opportunity to be rude, as the three other boys broke into the mix and swamped him in manly, congratulatory hugs and pats on the shoulders.

As they headed toward the parking lot, random people called out to Kendall, shouting "Good game!" and "Nice job, Knight!" He waved around at everyone, not knowing who all of them were, riding high on the exciting win.

* * *

><p>On Saturday, the boys spent the whole day in the basement studio, rehearsing their set list for their show that night. They sang along to backing tracks, warming up their voices. It had been awhile since they'd sung more than a few bars at a time, and it took a while before they sounded right together and hit all their notes. Then they had to practice all the choreography for the songs, which took another couple of hours before everything was perfect. They were surprised at how easily it came back to them, but they knew better than to just wing it tonight—this show was really important. If they could nail it tonight, it would prove that they weren't just some manufactured band who couldn't make it without a big label giving them all the right opportunities. It would show Griffin that they didn't need him and his money to succeed.<p>

They only left the basement for food twice; everyone was completely focused, even Carlos, who usually had the shortest attention span for this. They allowed to Katie to hang out with them, and she recorded a few clips of them rehearsing while browsing the internet—HTB had somehow procured pictures of Kendall from the lacrosse game last night.

"Should I be flattered or creeped out by this?" Kendall asked.

"Both," Katie said. "Definitely both. Anyway, you guys have been rehearsing all day. It's time to get ready!"

Logan checked his phone for the time. "Crap, she's right. Let's move."

The boys all went upstairs to shower and change and left the directions to the venue on the counter for Mrs. Knight.

When they arrived at The Limelight, Kelly's friend Ben Colby was scurrying around shouting directions at people.

"Mr. Colby?" Logan called out tentatively.

Ben looked around to see who was calling him and caught sight of Logan and the boys. "Ah! There you are! The band is almost done setting up and then you guys can do your sound check. Nice to meet you all."

He shook hands with each one of the boys and led them on a tour of the venue. The stage was located on the far back wall and had a large empty space in front of it for the audience. On the opposite wall across the room was a long bar which the boys saw was fully stocked and already had two bartenders cleaning up and getting ready for opening. Along the side walls were couches and arm chairs and coffee tables for people to sit at. Backstage, there were a few small dressing rooms for the talent to hang out in before shows.

Ben left them alone to finish getting ready, and the boys put in their ear monitors and prepared for sound check. They did a few last minute vocal exercises before heading out on stage. They met the band and gave them all copies of the set list. They ran through a couple of songs and finally felt ready to perform. The anticipation was getting all of them a little nervous, but they were excited to be on stage again. They waited backstage and listened as the band played a few songs. The venue was finally starting to fill up, and the boys could hear people cheering and calling for them to come out on stage.

Finally, a few minutes after 8, Kendall gave the cue to the band. The lights dimmed down and the crowd starting cheering even louder than before. The band started playing the beginning of "Big Night" and the crowd went crazy. Kendall and Logan emerged from one side of the stage, while James and Carlos ran out from the other. They all jumped up and down, pumping up the crowd and hitting all their dance marks.

After "Big Night," they flowed seamlessly into "Famous" before taking a break. Kendall wiped his face off with a towel before speaking into his microphone.

"How's everyone doing tonight?"

The crowd yelled loudly. James stepped forward too. "I dunno man, I couldn't quite hear that. How's everyone doing tonight?" he said, louder than Kendall. The crowd did its best to top the screams from before.

"That's better," said Logan into his own microphone. "Before we continue our set, we just want to take a few minutes to thank you guys for coming out."

More screams. "This show is really important to us," Carlos began, turning his cap backwards. "It's the first one that we booked and rehearsed for all on our own, so we're really glad you guy are here to see it."

"We've got a few special friends here tonight," Kendall said, squinting to see into the crowd, pointing at their school friends down on the right side of the stage. "Oh, and my mom's here, too. Hey, Mom!" Mrs. Knight smiled embarrassedly but waved at him from the front row.

"Anyway," James said. "I think that's enough talking for now! Who's ready to kick this party back up?" The crowd again started clapping and cheering.

"Alright, let's do this," Logan said as the first few bars of the next song began playing. "This next song is about never giving up on your dreams. It's called 'Halfway There.'"

After "Halfway There," the boys performed "Any Kind of Guy" and "Oh Yeah," pausing to let the fans know that that last one was the very first song they wrote by themselves.

"I hope you guys don't mind if we slow it down for a couple of songs," Carlos said when the music for "Oh Yeah" ended. A couple of tech guys brought out stools for the boys to sit on as well as an acoustic guitar, which he handed to Kendall.

The boys sang "Stuck" and "Worldwide" while sitting down, grinning when they saw Michelle and their friends from school waving lighters in the air. Kendall had to bite back a laugh when he spotted Scott—instead of a lighter, he was waving his bottle of beer. He must have had a fake ID for occasions such as these.

"Thank you guys," James said amid the clapping and noise coming from the audience. "Let's pick it back up."

"Til I Forget About You" came next, followed by "Big Time Rush" and "This Is Our Someday."

"Our set is almost done," Logan said, pausing to take a sip from a bottle of water. "But we have a couple more songs for you."

"Now, some of you may have heard the rumors about Big Time Rush breaking up, or getting dropped from our label, or moving back to Minnesota, but we want to set the record straight," Kendall told the crowd. "And we don't want to badmouth anyone, least of all our producer and the people at RCMGBT."

"The truth is," Carlos said, "the CEO of the company we're signed with told us that we were being put on hiatus. All that means is, our label isn't paying for us to have studio time to write and record new music."

"But that doesn't mean we can't do it on our own time and money," James said. "So here we are. We wanted to do this show for you guys, to thank everyone for continuing to support us, even when things looked rough for a minute."

"This next song is called 'If I Ruled the World,'" Logan announced. "And it's not on our album because it was the first one we wrote after being told about our hiatus."

After "If I Ruled the World," the boys sang what was undoubtedly their biggest hit, "Boyfriend," and stopped one last time afterwards.

"I think we all went a little deaf there, you guys are loud!" Kendall said into his microphone. "Thanks so much for coming out tonight, we hope you guys had fun!"

"It's been a while since we've performed live," James told the crowd. "We'd almost forgotten what it feels like to be up here. We've got one last song, and we're dedicating it to all of you, because you tonight you made us feel like the city is ours!"

The crowd jumped and sang along to "City Is Ours" and after the song was over and the boys were offstage, they all took a moment to let the night sink in.

"That was awesome," was all Carlos could say.

"I seriously missed that feeling," James agreed.

They went back to their dressing rooms and changed out of their sweaty shirts. A lot of people had gone home already, but there were still some loyal fans waiting for them to emerge, and they happily took pictures and signed CDs and t-shirts for the ones that remained. Their friends hung back, waiting for them at the bar, and the boys laughed as they watched Derek, Scott, Nate, and Luke have a beer race. Mrs. Knight hugged each of the boys in turn, telling them how proud she was of them and to have fun tonight.

It seemed like the fans had mostly gone home for the night, but there were some older kids still milling about, hanging out at the bar, trying their luck at getting served drinks.

"Nice job guys," came a girl's voice from behind them.

They all turned to find Camille and a group of their friends from the Palm Woods. She'd brought along her boyfriend, JT, but besides him, the Jennifers and Guitar Dude had also come out to see the show.

"Hey, guys!" Carlos exclaimed, high fiving Guitar Dude and giving all the girls a hug.

"Sick show, dudes," Guitar Dude said in his usual mellow surfer voice. "Gotta jet though—audition tomorrow in the AM."

"Thanks for coming man," James said.

"We have to say, we were actually impressed," said Blonde Jennifer.

"Who'd have thought you guys would come so far?" Curly-Haired Jennifer chimed in.

Once the Jennifers and Guitar Dude had taken off, the boys were left standing with Camille and JT.

"You guys really were amazing," Camille said. "Oh—sorry! JT, this is Logan, Kendall, James and Carlos," she gestured to each of the guys in turn as she introduced them. They all shook hands with JT, Kendall perhaps a little more firm than was strictly necessary.

"Nice to meet you," JT said. "It was a pretty good show."

"Thanks," Logan said. "We're glad you guys liked it." Logan tried not to feel super awkward, but he couldn't help it. He noticed that JT took hold of Camille's hand, like some sort of subtle claim over his territory. He'd known Camille was going to be here tonight, but he hadn't even thought about the fact that she might bring her boyfriend. He was completely unprepared, and had no idea what to say.

James picked up on this and came to his aid. "Hey, so we watched your show on Thursday," he told them. "It was really good."

"Oh my God," Camille laughed. "I was so nervous to watch the show, it's so weird seeing myself on TV."

"Nah, it was awesome," Carlos said. "But if anyone asks, we're only watching it because you're in it."

She grinned at him. "Gee, thanks. Anyway, we work tomorrow," Camille said. "But we just wanted to say hi and tell you guys you did a great job. Let me know when you have another show, next time. I'd like to not have to find out about them on the internet," she teased.

"Sorry about that," Logan said sheepishly. "It just happened so fast that we didn't have time to tell anyone before HTB posted it for us."

"I'll accept that excuse _this _time," she said playfully. "Good night, guys."

"Night. Nice to meet you, JT."

When she walked away all three boys looked over at Logan, trying to gauge his feelings on what had just happened.

"Can you guys stop staring at me? It's not helping."

"Sorry, man. You okay though?" James asked.

"It's fine. I'm fine."

"Did you know she was bringing him?" Kendall wanted to know.

"No, but I should have," Logan grimaced. "I was stupid to think she'd show up alone. Like it would even matter."

"Don't get yourself down," Carlos encouraged. "Besides, I think Hannah's been waiting all night for you to go talk to her."

This did seem to cheer Logan up a little. The boys went up to the bar where their friends were hanging out.

"Oh my God! It's Big Time Rush!" Scott yelled in a ridiculously high-pitched voice as they approached.

"Like, OMG! Can I have your autograph?" Derek asked, imitating Scott. "Will you guys take a picture with me?"

Kendall and the guys grinned at them. "Anything for a fan," he answered, rolling his eyes.

"Don't listen to them," Hannah said, lightly shoving Scott. "You guys were good."

"I'm sorry," Scott said dramatically. "I'm just a little star struck right now," he sighed, fanning himself with his hand.

"Cut it out, Scott," Michelle said from the other side.

He held his hands up in defense. "Just kidding, chill out. Knight can take a joke."

"It's cool," Kendall said. "Did you guys have fun?"

Derek punched Kendall lightly on the arm. "It was pretty cool, I have to admit. You _might _have won me over as a fan. But if anyone wants to know, I'm supporting you strictly as personal friends."

"Hey, we'll take it," James laughed.

"What about you?" Carlos asked Anya, walking over to sit on her other side. "You're the only one here who knew about us from before. What did you think?"

She smiled shyly. "Without sounding like a total fangirl, you guys rocked. Like, seriously. I have no idea why your label would want you to go on hiatus after that."

"Thanks. I'm really glad you came."

"Duh, like we would miss it."

"No, I mean… I'm really glad _you _came."

"Oh." Anya blushed and took a sip of her water.

"Hey, so…do you want to hang out tomorrow, maybe?"

Anya started playing with a strand of hair nervously. "Um… I want to, but I volunteer at church tomorrow."

"So maybe later on in the day? You don't spend all day there, do you?"

"No, just until early afternoon."

"Cool. Text me when you're home and we'll figure something out."

"Sure," she smiled at him.

Just then Naomi tapped Anya on the shoulder. "Hey, you ready to jet?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Good night, Carlos," Anya said, standing up from her barstool.

She and Naomi, along with Hannah gathered up their purses to leave, cuing everyone else to start getting ready to go too. Scott finished up a drink and tossed his keys to Derek, who rolled his eyes. The group all walked out to the parking lot together, with Scott singing a loud and off-key version of "Boyfriend" the whole way to the car.

"Get in the car, you jackass," Derek said, shutting the door behind him to drown out Scott's terrible singing. Everyone laughed when Scott merely rolled down the window and continued his own personal BTR tribute concert.

The boys hopped in their car, suddenly ready to crash. Adrenaline had gotten them through the whole concert and they were wiped out from their day of singing and dancing. Logan started the car and rolled the windows down, honking at their friends as they passed.

"We definitely gotta do this more often," James said from the backseat.

"Agreed," said everyone else in unison.

* * *

><p><strong>Ah! Okay, so I planned for more to happen in this chapter, but I was coming up on 6000 words, and it seemed like a good stopping point right here. Thank you so much to those of you who have been reviewing and submitting feedback to my Ask box on Tumblr! It means a lot to me to hear from you guys. Please please please review? <strong>

**And don't forget to check out wintershine(dot)tumblr(dot)com for sneak peeks and behind the scenes info! **


	16. Can't Get Enough

**Oh my gosh…Big Time Rocker was so adorable, I loved all of it. I'm pretty sure I'll be posting an M-rated Logan/Camille one-shot inspired by it.**

**Speaking of M-rated…this chapter is a little M-rated. Enjoy and tell me if you liked it!**

Chapter 16: Can't Get Enough

Sunday afternoon, Carlos waited for Anya to text him so they could hang out. Logan had talked him into actually doing some homework, so the two sat in silence as Carlos worked out equations for his math class and Logan did some research on the volunteering and intern opportunities down at the hospital that Mrs. Knight's boyfriend had told him about. Kendall and James wandered in and out, neither one having the attention span to read textbooks or work on math problems.

Logan jumped when Carlos suddenly slammed his book shut. "What's going on?" he asked as Carlos grabbed his book and headed for the door.

"Anya's finally leaving church. See you later." Logan grinned at his back as he exited the room, happy for his friend.

Carlos went up to his room to quickly change out of the sweatpants and t-shirt he was wearing, in favor of some jeans and a clean shirt. Anya had said she'd drop by and pick him up, so he quickly shuffled around trying to find shoes and making sure he'd remembered to put on deodorant that morning. The doorbell rang as he was tying his sneaker, and by the time he made it downstairs, Kendall had opened the door and let Anya inside.

She was wearing a light-blue and white sundress just fell just above her knees and a dark blue short-sleeve sweater that covered her shoulders and upper arms, even though the weather was still quite warm in California. She played with that same strand of hair she always did out of habit, and Carlos wondered if she even noticed that she did it anymore. She turned and smiled at him when she heard him approaching.

"Hi," she said, greeting him with a hug. Her hair smelled faintly sweet.

"Hey," Carlos responded with a smile of his own. "What do you want to do today?"

"Let's go to the zoo," she said playfully. "I feel like being outside."

"Cool. I haven't been to the zoo here yet."

They chatted in the car on the way there and when Anya parked, she stepped out of the car and shrugged her sweater off and switched the nice shoes she was wearing for casual sandals. Carlos insisted on paying for their admission tickets, even though Anya protested and began digging in her purse for her wallet. Carlos ignored her and got the tickets, handing her one so they could enter. She elbowed him lightly but accepted the small paper.

Anya grabbed a map from a kiosk nearby, even though she practically knew where everything was by heart. She led Carlos first to the primate habitats, where they amused themselves by watching a baby gorilla poke its sleeping brother, until finally, in retaliation, the brother shoved the first one out of the way and went off in search of a new place to nap. Next they saw the lions and tigers, the reptile house, the bird cages, the bears, and the aquarium.

Before continuing on, they stopped at a food cart where Carlos was elated to find that Anya also thoroughly enjoyed corndogs. He was so pleasantly surprised that he didn't even have time to argue when she quickly pulled out some cash and paid for both of them. She dipped her corndog in some mustard and dabbed Carlos' cheek with it.

"Oh, hey. Looks like you got some on you," she grinned, repeating what he'd said to her when they made brownies at Hannah's house.

"Now, how did that happen?" he asked, elbowing her lightly in the ribs.

"Payback," she told him. "Now we're even." She took one of her napkins and wiped off the spot for him, crumpling it up and tossing it in the nearby trashcan when she was done.

"Okay, okay. Truce. So we have to have seen everything by now, right?"

"Nope. There's one more place we have to visit."

They finished their corndogs and Anya led him down the path to a building that Carlos hadn't noticed before.

"This," she said, "is our last stop." She grabbed his hand and yanked him inside the cold building.

"Penguins," Carlos realized. He was suddenly very aware of how sweaty his palms were, but Anya didn't seem to mind, since she still hadn't let go of his hand by the time they came to a stop. Carlos thought she looked very peaceful and relaxed standing there by the railing, and he didn't want to break the companionable silence that had fallen between them.

"They're my favorite animal," she said. Her own words seemed to make her come to herself, as she blushed and quickly dropped his hand.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are we… you know. Are we like, a thing?" He knew it sounded lame, but he couldn't think of any other way to phrase the question.

She turned to face him and was quiet for a moment, studying his face, as though she was trying to decide what to say. "Do you _want_ to be 'a thing'?"

Carlos reached out to take her hand again and interlaced their fingers. "Well, yeah. I like you…and I wanted to know if we're on the same page here."

Anya smiled and closed the small distance that remained between them. She had to stand on her tip-toes to kiss him, but she managed it. Carlos was surprised at first, but he recovered quickly and wrapped his arms around her waist.

When Anya pulled away, Carlos grinned and asked, "So… that's a yes, right?"

Anya rolled her eyes and shoved him playfully, walking ahead of him towards the exit. Carlos caught up with her in a few quick steps, and they walked hand in hand back to the parking lot.

* * *

><p>The next few days passed without much incident, except that spirit posters were now plastering the halls in preparation for Homecoming weekend in three weeks' time. James and Kendall continued having play rehearsals and lacrosse practices, and Logan filled out an application for an internship at the hospital. The boys all had fun teasing the hell out of Carlos for finally having his first real girlfriend, but they were all genuinely happy for him—Anya was nice, smart, <em>and <em>pretty; a triple threat. She was popular but she wasn't stuck up; she was quiet but not unfriendly. She balanced out Carlos perfectly, who was often bouncing off the walls with energy and sometimes too extroverted for his own good.

They were also flooded with Tweets and emails congratulating them on their performance at the Limelight, and Ben Colby had told them that any time he had an opening, they were welcome to perform there. He was all booked up for the next few weeks, but he promised to email them a calendar so they could look at dates to book another show.

Back at school, the boys noticed that many people who had previously never talked to or acknowledged them were now waving to them in hallways, patting them on the back as they passed, and smiling in their direction between classes. A gang of freshman girls had even taken to following them around during breaks and lunchtimes.

Anya, as part of the student council, was obligated to be on the float committee for the junior class, so naturally, she roped Carlos into joining it too, along with Hannah, who in turn brought Logan along. The boys sat in the meeting, pretending to be interested in the conversation that was taking place—something about the merits of using real flower decorations instead of tissue ones—but in actuality, just nodding along with whatever the girls decided.

Wednesday evening, James went over to Michelle's house again. They hadn't spent any time alone since their conversation before Kendall's game, and James didn't want to upset her by bringing it up. She seemed to have forgotten about it though, and didn't act at all out of the ordinary. As soon as she was sure her bedroom door was locked, she yanked James to the bed and pounced on him. He responded just as enthusiastically, pulling her body to his by holding the small of her back and the back of her neck.

His hands roamed freely, over her butt, squeezing lightly, and under her shirt. Michelle enjoyed the feel of his hands on her bare skin, but she had discovered a spot on his neck, just behind his ear, that she knew drove him crazy. She smirked at the quiet, guttural noise that emerged from his throat when she licked the spot and bit on it gently. She kissed down his collarbone, making quick work of the buttons on his shirt, pushing it off him and yanking at his t-shirt. He helped her get it off of him and went for the buttons on her shirt, but, his hands being bigger, was not as adept as she had been. Growing impatient, she slapped his hand away and sat up to straddle his waist as she so often did. She finished undoing the last few buttons on her own shirt, throwing it and the tank top she had on under it to the floor.

James bucked his hips up, sending a jolt of pleasure through both their cores. Michelle leaned down slightly and balanced her hands on his chest.

"Do it again," she breathed.

James obeyed, turned on by the fact that she knew how to take control of the situation. The look on her face as the friction between them increased was reward enough. She bit her lip and let out a raggedy breath, rolling her own hips down to meet his gentle thrusts. Finally she moved off of him long enough to go for his belt buckle, and James helped her in getting it off and unbuttoning his navy blue uniform pants. Soon she was tugging those off of him too, leaving him pitching a very obvious tent in just his boxers. He couldn't muster up the energy to be embarrassed at it, especially when she seemed so nonchalant. Like last time, she slipped a hand beneath the waistband of his underwear, but this time, he had other plans.

Before Michelle had a chance to get a rhythm going, James stopped her and sat up to kiss her, coaxing her down so that she was lying in the spot where he had just been. His right hand stroked her cheek and she shivered involuntarily before he continued down to squeeze one of her breasts. He enjoyed how they fit in his hand, but he enjoyed how she arched her back into him at his touch more. Agonizingly slowly, his hand continued down to the hemline of her khaki skirt. He hesitated only for the briefest moment before sneaking his hand up her thigh to trace the band of what he discovered was lace underwear.

His fingertips moved slowly over the material and Michelle spread her legs a little wider to give him better access. Quickly, before he could lose his nerve, he hooked two fingers under the band and pulled, searching Michelle's face for any sign that he should stop. Instead she lifted her hips so he could pull them easier and he was soon holding the pair of purple lace panties in his fingers. Those too were tossed to the floor before his hand found its way back under her skirt. Her breathing was shallow as James moved up her thigh again, and her own hand gripped a small patch of James' hair as the anticipation built.

"God, just do it," she told him finally.

Taking that as his cue, he went into uncharted territory for him and used his fingers to explore the warm, slick folds of skin. He was slightly startled when she suddenly inhaled sharply and bucked up into his hand, but he smiled inwardly at his success at finding the nerve he'd been searching for. He rubbed over the sensitive spot again with his index finger and Michelle moaned quietly, writhing beneath him as he continued to pay attention to that area. After another few moments of this he readjusted his position so he could move lower, finally, tentatively, pushing his index finger inside her.

The low whimper she gave was enough—more than enough—to make him stop doubting himself. She was tight, warm, and deliciously wet. He carefully slid his thumb over the sensitive nerve as he pumped his index finger, and kissed her fiercely when she gasped. It was exhilarating, thrilling, how something they knew was wrong felt so _right. _His middle finger joined his index and Michelle's back arched, meeting his rhythm, encouraging him to speed his tempo.

One of her hands was buried in his thick hair while the other gripped his shoulder. "_Fuck, _James," she moaned softly. Her nails scratched him but he didn't mind, or even notice, because then she was shuddering, clenching tightly around his fingers with an "oh, God," escaping her lips and finally releasing the grip she had on his shoulder.

* * *

><p>Thursday night, the boys gathered around to watch the next episode of Camille's show, and though none of them would admit it, it was very addictive and they were soon engrossed in the plotline of Camille's character trying to figure out how she could go to school with two large wings suddenly protruding from her back. Logan watched with a slight pang as her boyfriend, playing a male fairy, appeared on screen to help her discover what she really was.<p>

When the show ended, James wandered off to go study his script—the director had instructed him to work on one of his scenes—and Carlos went off in search of more food, despite the fact that dinner had been served an hour ago. Kendall and Logan were left alone, and Kendall scrutinized Logan as he mindlessly flipped through the channels for something else to watch.

"This probably isn't the best way to get over her, you know," Kendall said, never one to beat around the bush.

"Shut up," Logan told him.

"I'm just saying," Kendall held his hands up in defense. "Do yourself—and me—a favor, and just ask Hannah out already."

"I don't know…"

"What's the problem? She clearly likes you. Don't let this turn into the Peggy situation all over again."

"I just don't know if I'm ready," Logan said.

"No offense, man, but you never will be if you don't start trying."

"What about you?" Logan retorted. "I don't exactly see you getting out there and playing the field either."

"I haven't really met anyone I feel like pursuing," Kendall shrugged. "You have."

"You never will if you don't start trying," Logan mimicked, earning himself thump on the back of the head from his friend. "But maybe you're right."

"Of course I am. Now… Can you help me with my Spanish homework?"

* * *

><p>The next week at school, student council was selling tickets to the Homecoming dance and taking nominations for the court, which would comprise of five senior guys and five senior girls. On Friday's announcements, the court was announced, along with a reminder for everyone to vote for King and Queen the following week, as they would be crowned at the football game on Friday night. Josh Hollis, the captain of the lacrosse team, had made the court, giving all the other guys free license to tease him while simultaneous assuring him they would vote for him.<p>

After school on the day that the court was announced, Logan caught up to Hannah in the hallway before she could leave for the afternoon.

"Hey," he said nervously. "You have a minute?"

"Sure. What's up? You're coming to the meeting tomorrow right? For the float decorating?"

"Yeah, I'll be there. Three pm sharp."

"Awesome. Anya is going to have an absolute meltdown if another thing gets put on her shoulders this week; the student council president got nominated for Homecoming Queen, so instead of actually helping everyone prepare for Homecoming week, she's spending all her time campaigning for votes. Did you know she dumped the whole canned food drive on Anya too? Not to mention the fact that she has a ballet performance coming up, and she has to start going to the rehearsals for the play because she's helping with costumes… Anyway, sorry, I'm rambling. Did you need something?"

"Um… yeah." Logan slid his backpack off his shoulder and reached into it carefully, producing two printed tickets and a single pink carnation—her favorite flower. If nothing else, at least the whole debacle with Camille had taught him something about being romantic. She looked from the tickets up to him, a happily surprised look on her face. "Will you be my date for Homecoming?" he asked, holding out the flower for her.

She took it with a smile. "How did you know these were my favorite?"

"I got Carlos to find out from Anya for me," Logan grinned. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes. Definitely," she said, accepting the ticket he proffered to her. "What would you have done with the extra ticket if I said no?" she teased.

"Given it to Kendall or James, I guess," he laughed. "We'd have gone stag together."

"Your bromance is adorable," she told him as they walked outside together. She stood on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek lightly. "Thanks for asking me. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

><p>On Saturday afternoon, Anya spent the day trying to get everyone on the same page so they could build their float. It was really just a golf cart that they were supposed to decorate, but she was still stressed beyond belief—there were two factions disagreeing on the design for the float and Anya was nearly ready to cry in frustration when Carlos tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped about a foot in the air and dropped the clipboard she was carrying, as well as her phone.<p>

"Whoa, sorry. Did I scare you?"

"It's okay," she said wearily, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. She reached up to peck him on the lips briefly. "I'm just really on edge right now. If this thing sucks I'm going to get all the blame. Fucking Chelsea called me this morning and told me that she couldn't take care of halftime at the football game anymore, so on top of the float, the food drive, selling dance tickets, ballet, and the play, I am now in charge of finding something to fill in the time after the cheerleaders and the dance team do their routines, and I'm going to get exactly zero percent of the credit for any of it."

"Wow," Logan said, letting out a low whistle. "What are you thinking for halftime?

"I have no idea. I thought that the marching band could perform, but she told me they were going on _before _the game, so I have no idea."

"What if," Carlos started with a sly grin aimed at Logan, "you got another band to perform?"

"And just where exactly am I magically going to find a band with nothing better to do on a Friday night, willing to play for free because our budget is maxed, for a high school homecoming?"

Carlos raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh my God, I'm an idiot… would you guys really?"

"Go West Beverly," Logan said. "Anything for school spirit, right?"

"You guys are seriously the best. Seriously, you just saved my life."

"Only one of the many perks of dating me," Carlos said cheekily.

"My hero," she said sarcastically. "I'd only need you guys to do maybe three songs. Nothing big since we'll be crowning king and queen during halftime too."

"It's no problem," Carlos assured her. "So, let's tackle this float."

Two girls across the room were still arguing about the float, both refusing to give in.

"Real flowers will look so much better!"

"What part of 'we can't afford them' aren't you getting?"

"We just have to make cuts somewhere else."

"That's stupid!"

They both glared at each other. "Anya!" they yelled simultaneously.

Carlos went with her to diffuse the situation. He noticed that she straightened up, a determined look on her face as she marched up to the two arguing females.

"Would you _please _tell Hilary that using real flowers for the decorations would clearly be the better choice here? She wants us to make everything out of cardboard and paper!"

"We've been through this, Alicia. We can't use all our float money on flowers just to save time! I'm sorry, but Hilary's right," Anya told her firmly.

Alicia crossed her arms. "We can make it work if we're careful with the money for the other stuff!"

"No," Anya said. "Period. Real flowers would be a mess and way too fragile."

Alicia opened her mouth to argue some more but Anya cut her off before she could say anything. "End of discussion! I'm in charge of the float committee and since you guys couldn't come to an agreement, I'm breaking the tie. No real flowers. Deal with it or leave so we can actually make some progress."

Alicia closed her mouth and glared at Anya, turning to rejoin her friends. She looked mad, but she didn't leave or press the issue again.

Carlos was both surprised and impressed. Anya was usually quiet and reserved, but now he could see that she could definitely stand up for herself if she needed to. Now he understood how she was able to stay on top of all her responsibilities—she was nice, but she wasn't someone you could walk all over. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. He knew she hated to pull the 'I'm in charge' card, but there had been no other way. They only had a week to get the float done, and now they could stop talking about the decorations and actually get to work.

* * *

><p>On the Monday of Homecoming week, Mrs. Knight walked into the kitchen to find all four boys sitting around the table. They were all wearing t-shirts and plaid pajama pants or basketball shorts. Carlos wore green slippers on his feet. Logan's hair was free of styling gel. Kendall had a cowlick at the back of his head that he hadn't bothered to smooth down, and James was wearing a gray bathrobe over his blue basketball shorts. All of them were casually munching on toast or cereal or bagels, looking wholly unconcerned with the fact that they should be leaving for school in ten minutes.<p>

"Are you boys planning on going to school today?" she asked them. "Or have you just decided you're done with that?"

"It's Spirit Week, Mom," Kendall replied casually. "We get out of uniform all week as long as we stick to the theme. Today's pajama day."

School that day felt both completely normal and completely different, both at the same time. The teachers treated the day as if it were any other day, going about their lessons and assigning homework and quizzes as usual, ignoring their students' messy hair and funny slippers. But there was a buzz of excitement in the air as well. Maybe it was the fact that they so rarely got to dress out of uniform; or maybe it was the seniors campaigning for votes for Homecoming king and queen between classes; or maybe it was because the girls sauntered down the hallways in tank tops and short-shorts, giving the guys a nice view all day long.

It was weird yet somehow refreshing to see the girls who usually took such care with their hair and makeup every morning—the same ones who wore heels to class and wouldn't be caught dead in tennis shoes outside of gym—throw themselves wholeheartedly into the spirit of pajama day. Hannah wore her hair in a messy bun high on her head, while Anya sported a low ponytail pulled over her left shoulder. Even Michelle's hair was loose around her face, looking a little tangled and free of any product whatsoever—James wondered if she had even brushed it that morning. A few daring guys (including Scott) had come to school wearing only tank tops and boxers, earning themselves quick trips to the principal's office.

At lunch, the boys deposited a box each of canned food at the designated spot for the junior class. The class who brought in the most canned food would win a pizza party and an extra out of uniform day, which didn't seem like much, but it was enough to make the competition pretty fierce. They saw that their pile was bigger than the seniors,' though not by much and made mental notes to stop by the grocery store and get more. Free pizza was free pizza—and it was always better than cafeteria food.

Tuesday's theme was Western apparel, and everyone showed up wearing cowboy hats and boots. The atmosphere around campus was even more energetic than it had been the previous day, but by Wednesday, on 80's day, the teachers had given up any semblance of order in the classrooms. Most showed movies in class or allowed the students to have "independent study" which was just code for letting them surf the internet and text during the period. Thursday was Nerd day, and James jokingly asked Logan if he could borrow something to wear from his closet.

"Hilarious," Logan had replied sarcastically. "Really witty."

They couldn't help but grin around at everyone all day on Thursday, laughing at their friends who showed up to school in pants pulled up to their ribs, bow ties, suspenders, pocket protectors, and black rimmed glasses. Anya went all-out and wore her retainer. Michelle wore some knee-high socks with a pleated plaid skirt, and James thought that instead of "nerd" like she was going for, she had actually achieved "sexy school-girl."

At rehearsal that afternoon, he could take it no longer, and pulled her into the props closet for a brief make out session.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he told her, his voice muffled as he spoke into the base of her neck.

She snapped one his red suspenders playfully before yanking him back up to her mouth. She pulled away all too soon, and he tried to protest by gripping her hips and holding her against him.

"We can't," she whispered, though she didn't sound too convincing, too busy focusing on the feeling of his fingertips tracing the skin on her lower back. She placed both hands on his chest and pushed him away lightly, pausing to smooth out her clothes. "Seriously. We could get caught."

"Okay, okay. You're right. Then when can I see you again?"

"Soon," she promised. "Once Homecoming weekend is out of the way, things will be less crazy."

Michelle went to the door of the closet and poked her head out, checking that no one was around to see them coming out together. They were safe this time. She turned around sharply and poked him in the chest.

"You need to be more discrete," she chided him. "Anyone could've seen us go in there."

"But they didn't," he grinned down at her. He took her hand and kissed it. "Relax."

"You're ridiculous."

"You like it."

* * *

><p><strong>Whew. Is Hannah growing on you guys yet? I know everyone wants to see Logan get back with Camille, but shouldn't he give Hannah a chance? ...No? How 'bout Michelle? Do you feel kinda bad for her, or is she just skanky? <strong>

**I got a couple of new reviewers since last time, so quick shout out to them! Thanks for checking out my story. **

**Anyway, hope you guys liked this chapter. Please drop a review and let me know your thoughts! **


	17. Teenage Hearts

**I'm so sorry for the awkwardly long wait! This is a Kendall chapter... Hope you like it! Don't forget to leave a review! **

Chapter 17: Teenage Hearts

Friday was Spirit Day at West Beverly Hills, so the students were allowed to come to school decked out in school colors and jerseys and things with the school logo on them. Kendall wore his navy blue lacrosse jersey with a pair of khaki pants, along with the rest of the team. It was a mostly fun day at school—the buzz in the air about the football game later on was making everyone too excited to focus on class, and the teachers for very lenient that day, but promised that the slack would be picked up in the coming weeks. Everything seemed somehow cheerier, though that was probably because instead of the normal waves of students wearing khakis and button downs, the halls were filled with splashes of red, blue, and white as everyone showed off their school spirit.

The last two periods of the day were cancelled so that a pep rally could be held in the gym to get everyone excited for the game—not that anyone needed any more reason to be pumped up. The cheerleaders did their routine and a competition was held for most spirited class, which the seniors won, and everyone left the gym feeling inexplicably cheerful.

"Did you guys ever think that after going on tour across the country, pep rallies would still be that fun?" Logan asked no one in particular.

"Not at all," Kendall answered, slinging an arm around his friend. "And yet, I feel so…"

"Peppy?" Carlos supplied, coming up on Kendall's other side.

"Yes. Exactly."

"I'm sure the girls in their cheerleading uniforms had nothing to do with that," James joined in, completing the foursome as they walked back to their lockers.

"Speak for yourself," Kendall scoffed over the top of Carlos' head. "I have school spirit. I'm a jock again, remember?"

"True," James said thoughtfully. "Kendall Knight: hockey-head extraordinaire turned boy band front-man turned….lacrosse player dude."

"Eloquent," Logan said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, well, you're the smart one, not me," James retorted easily. "I'll catch you guys at the game. We've still got rehearsal today."

The boys bid farewell to James and headed home for a bit to hang out before the football game. They loaded the car with their preferred ear monitors and microphones for their mini-concert, horsing around with each other as usual. They left about an hour before the game was supposed to start so that they could grab some food from the pre-game barbecue and run-through with Anya how everything was supposed to go down at halftime.

When they got back to campus, the football field was in chaos. Anya was wearing dark skinny-jeans and lavender flats that matched her tank top, and her hair was pulled into a side ponytail that draped over her shoulder. And if she hadn't looked so monumentally stressed out, even Kendall would have acknowledged that she looked cute. But as they approached the field, Anya was frantically directing members of the student council around, trying to get them to line up the golf cart/class floats in the correct order, while simultaneously showing the members of the Homecoming court where to go so they could rehearse the crowning of the King and Queen. Meanwhile, the marching band was warming up, the cheerleaders were rehearsing their routine, and the football team was running pre-game drills. Truthfully, the principal or head of the alumni committee should have been there to help Anya, or at the very least, the president of the student council, but Anya seemed to be on her own. The student council president was instead checking her teeth and fluffing her hair up, making sure she looked good for the Homecoming Court photos.

Kendall and Logan hung back while Carlos went up to her to let her know they were there. They watched as she visibly relaxed when she saw him, pulling him in for a tight hug. She released him and pointed him to an area that had been set up with a computer and sound system and a lot of extension cords. He nodded in understanding and motioned for the other boys to join him.

They had decided to sing along to an instrumental backing track rather than have a live band perform along with them, in order to save on time and stress. They put in their ear monitors and tweaked around with the sound system until everything sounded right, before practicing the harmonies for the songs they had chosen. It was a little difficult without James, but they did the best they could. Hopefully he'd be there soon from rehearsal and they could really get everything down.

When finally the golf carts were lined up and the Homecoming court had been shown what to do, Anya made her way over to where Kendall, Logan, and Carlos were standing, weaving her way through cheerleaders and football players.

"Hey guys," she said. "Oh good, you're set up."

"Yeah. How are _you_?" Kendall asked her. "Do you need any help?"

"It's under control," Anya replied. "I just need to make it through this football game and the dance tomorrow night and I'll be home-free. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a quick run-down of what's going on tonight. Marching band will do their thing before the game, then we'll play the first half. At halftime, the cheerleaders and the dance team will perform, and we'll announce which class won the float-decorating contest and who brought in the most cans for the food drive. _Then _we introduce the Court and announce King and Queen, and then you guys go on and do your thing. That's pretty much it."

"Busy night," Logan commented. "How did you survive being in charge of all this?"

"I told you I like to stay busy," Anya shrugged. "That and the Adderall I bought off Scott."

Carlos slung an arm over her shoulders and quickly kissed her temple. "Well, I don't know how you did it, but it's going to be great."

"I hope so," Anya bit her lip and looked down.

"What's the matter?" Carlos asked.

"It's just… I know this is petty, so don't judge me. But Chelsea was supposed to be helping out with this whole week, and ever since she found out she was on the Court, she just dumped everything on me, so if something goes wrong, I'll get blamed for it, but if it doesn't, then she gets all the credit."

"That's not petty," Kendall said.

"Yeah," Logan told her. "You deserve some of the recognition."

"Thanks," she said, shaking her head and gathering herself together again.

They finally spotted James walking towards them with Michelle. He was clutching at his ribs and wincing slightly.

"What happened to you?" Kendall asked.

James lifted his shirt to reveal a nasty-looking bruise on the left side of his ribcage. Kendall and Carlos winced and looked away, but Logan bent down to peer at it—he never could resist looking at an injury, no matter how gross it was.

"The boys started learning the sword fighting choreography today," Michelle explained. "And Tim sucks at it."

"Who's Tim?" Carlos asked.

"The guy who plays Tybalt," James said. "He must have missed his marks like, twelve times trying to learn the routine for my death scene."

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it."

Logan checked his watch. "The game's set to start soon, we should go find somewhere to sit."

They looked up at the bleachers, which were starting to fill, and the group made their way up to a pretty empty area, leaving enough room for their friends to join them. Soon enough, Derek, Scott and Naomi arrived and shortly after that, Nathan and Luke did too. Even Holly, who they hadn't seen much lately, showed up with her customary pack of cigarettes in hand, not caring about the no smoking on campus rule as she lit one up. Hannah was the last to get there, squeezing in between Logan and James. The buzz of the crowd got louder as their friends filled in around them, and before they knew it, the marching band was taking its position out on the field.

"Welcome to Homecoming 2011!" shouted the announcer over the speakers after the performance. "On behalf of West Beverly Hills High School, I would like to welcome everyone to our annual alumni weekend! Welcome back, former Falcons!"

He announced the lineups for both teams, and with that, the game began. Kendall and the boys only vaguely knew the rules—football hadn't been too popular in Minnesota—but they knew enough to see that it was going to be a tough game. West Beverly obviously didn't want to lose its Homecoming game, what with so many supporters and alumni watching the game, and their opponents, the Greenhill Lions, wanted nothing more than to embarrass West Beverly _because _it was their Homecoming game. By the end of the first quarter, both teams were scoreless. West Beverly was able to drive down field, but were unable to get the touchdown, and so settled for a field goal. At the half they led 3-0.

When halftime started, the boys made their way down to where their makeshift sound system had been set up to get their ear monitors and microphones. They watched the cheerleaders and the dance team do their routines, smirking at each other because of their up-close-and-personal vantage points. After the cheerleaders, the school principal walked onto the field along with Anya, who was carrying her clipboard and 5 small bouquets of flowers, one for each girl on the Homecoming court.

"Before we announce the King and Queen, we would first like to tell everyone who won the food drive and float competitions," said Principal Coley. "I would like to congratulate the sophomore class for bringing in the most canned food this week!" The sophomores in the bleachers cheered loudly, but were drowned out by boos from students in other grades.

"As for the float-decorating contest—it was a fierce competition, but in the end, the juniors pulled it out!"

Anya beamed from her position next to the principal, unable to clap along with her classmates because of all the things in her hands.

"And finally, the moment you've all been waiting for! It's time to announce this year's Homecoming King and Queen!"

On cue, the boys and girls that were a part of the Court made their way on to the field for the announcement. Anya handed all the girls their little bouquet of flowers and then went back to her spot next to the principal. She gave him her clipboard, pointing something out to him and he nodded before bringing his microphone back to his mouth.

"This year's Homecoming King is none other than football captain Kyle Seymour!"

The crowd clapped politely as Kyle accepted the crown and shook hands with the principal.

"And your 2011 Homecoming Queen is student body president Chelsea Carpenter!"

Kendall noticed that Anya closed her eyes for a moment and pursed her lips before joining in the clapping for Chelsea. As the Court left the field, the boys went out to the 50-yard line to set up for their mini-show. A couple of raised platforms had been brought out for them to perform on, so they put up their microphone stands and waited for their cue.

"Now, before our final halftime event, I would like to recognize someone who has put a lot of time and effort into making Homecoming week a success for West Beverly Hills. She's a student here and has worked tirelessly and selflessly to put everything together, including the food drive and the show that you're about to see…"

Carlos squeezed Anya's shoulder.

"…And so I'd like everyone to please give a hand to Chelsea Carpenter."

Kendall dropped his microphone with a loud clatter and looked over at Anya and Carlos. Carlos had pulled her against him and was whispering in her ear. Tears pricked at Anya's eyes but she wiped them away quickly and took a deep breath. Kendall couldn't quite make out what they were saying but Anya was shaking her head and kept a brave smile on her face. Carlos handed Anya the CD with their music on it and watched her sadly as she walked over to their sound system setup.

"And now we have a special performance by Big Time Rush! They have joined our student body this year and we are very happy to have them here tonight."

The crowd clapped for them as they took the stage.

"Before we get started," Kendall said into his microphone, "we just wanna say thank you to everyone for making us feel so welcome this year. We've made some really good friends here, and we're excited to be able to play for you guys."

"And," Carlos added, "we want to give a _special _shout out to our good friend Anya Hernandez because without her we wouldn't be up here right now. Thanks for getting us to do this." Carlos pointed her out and waved at her, and she ducked her head as many of the people in the stands craned their necks to look at her.

"But enough talk," James said. "Let's do this."

Anya pressed play on their music and the boys performed "Big Night," "Oh Yeah," and "City Is Ours." The crowd was only moderately into it, but these were their classmates, not their fans, so the boys didn't think too much of it. They were just having fun. At least they didn't get booed.

"Thank you guys!" sad Logan once they were done. "Go Falcons!" The crowd applauded at this and the boys made their way back to the sidelines.

Anya launched herself into Carlos, throwing her arms around his neck. "You're amazing," she told him.

"Nah. You are." He kissed the top of her head and they all went to rejoin their friends in the bleachers for the remainder of the game.

West Beverly won the game very narrowly, 24-21, and everyone cheered like crazy at the victory. Word was getting out quickly about an after-party at one of the senior football players' houses, so the gang all headed toward the parking lot to regroup and make a plan.

"Who's got their fakes on them?" Scott asked. "Besides me."

"I do," Holly said, pulling an ID out of her pocket.

"Same here," Luke said, checking his wallet.

"Sweet. Who's chipping in?"

Everyone began digging through purses and wallets for spare cash and handed Scott the money, saying things like "do _not _get cheap tequila this time!" and "make sure you look for Bacardi Gold." Scott counted through the money and handed the wad of cash to Holly, who put it in her purse. They turned to pile into Scott's Jeep, but Derek reached out and grabbed Holly's hand.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Don't worry, Derek. I'll take _extra _good care of her," Luke interrupted from the front seat. "Won't I?"

Holly raised an eyebrow at Luke but otherwise ignored him. "You don't have an ID on you, you can't even get in the liquor store. I'm cool. We'll meet you at the party."

Derek looked as though he wanted to say something else, but remained silent and merely nodded as she got into the backseat. Michelle rolled her eyes at them, pretending to gag behind her brother's back. Kendall supposed she still wasn't the biggest fan of Holly, remembering how Scott had told him that she had caught her and Derek hooking up in her bed one time. In fairness, that _would_ be something hard to get over.

Everyone packed themselves into their cars, caravanning towards their neighborhood to find the party. They were forced park all the way around the corner because there were so many cars lined up and down the street. Michelle and Nate led the way inside to the dimly lit house crowded with partying teenagers.

Kendall and James stuck with Derek as Carlos and Logan unconsciously 'coupled off' with their respective dates, though Kendall noticed that James' eyes kept wandering over to where Nathan and Michelle were talking with some other people in their class. Eventually, Scott, Luke, and Holly appeared with their purchases from the liquor store. Scott handed Kendall and James some beers and they clinked their cans together. Kendall spotted Logan across the room talking with Hannah and sent him a text.

_Stay sober. You're driving tonight! _

Logan felt the vibration in his pocket and read the message. Kendall saw him roll his eyes and look around. He grinned as Logan made eye contact with him and held up his can for Logan to see. Logan texted him back.

_Fine. It's probably for the best after what happened last time. _

Kendall chuckled and put his phone away.

* * *

><p>When Kendall woke up the next morning, he found the other boys teasing Logan and interrogating him for details about the night.<p>

"Okay, but how was it?"

"It was fine."

"_Just _fine? Or better than fine?"

"It was good. _Really _good," he emphasized.

"How did it happen?"

"I don't know! It just…happened."

"What's going on?" Kendall asked from the doorway.

"Logan kissed Hannah last night!" Carlos said immediately.

"Ooh, congrats."

"So are you two official now or what?" James wanted know.

"I don't know," Logan admitted. "We didn't talk about it or anything. But I think we might tonight."

"Excellent," Kendall said. "That's what you want, right?"

Logan thought for a moment. "Yes," he decided. "It is."

"Well good for you, bro," James said, punching him lightly on the arm.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Kendall asked, stealing the remote from Carlos and changing the channel without asking.

"The girls are all getting ready at Michelle's," Carlos replied, not bothering to muster up the energy to fight Kendall for the remote. "So we'll all meet there."

"What, all five of them?" Kendall asked, surprised.

"Yep. It's a big place," Carlos said.

"Maybe we should have gotten dates for this thing," Kendall said to James. "It's gonna be awkward with everyone taking couples pictures."

"Yeah, and I refuse to take couples pictures with you like I had to with Logan at the Palm Woods prom. That was ridiculous."

"Wait a second. How come you didn't ask anyone to Homecoming, James?" Logan asked, looking up from the book he was reading for English. "You usually have no problem finding dates."

"Huh? Oh, uh… I dunno," James said somewhat uneasily. "I just didn't think about it, I guess."

"Right," Kendall muttered under his breath.

"What do you mean, 'right'?"

"You didn't want to ask anyone? Or the person you wanted to ask was already going with someone else?" Kendall said boldly. Logan's and Carlos' eyes widened as they looked back and forth between Kendall and James.

"Are you seriously still on about that?" James asked.

"Are _you _seriously still denying it?"

"Denying what?" Carlos said, confused.

"Yeah, I'm a little lost here," Logan added.

"Denying that he likes Michelle," Kendall said matter-of-factly. "Just admit, James."

"Oh my God, for the last time, I don't like her! We worked together all summer, we're in the play. She's my friend!"

"Oh, please," Kendall scoffed. "I saw the way you were looking at her last night. Jealousy with a little bit of longing every time you saw her with Nathan."

James met Kendall's eyes for the first time since their conversation had taken this turn. "Why does it matter?" he asked finally. "She has a boyfriend. So even if I say I like her, what good does that do me?"

Kendall was silent. "I just—"

"You just what?" James interrupted. "Had to prove you were right once again, like you always are? Well congratulations, Kendall Knight. You're right; I like her. She's maybe the first girl I've ever met who I've thought I could have a real relationship with, except she's already _in _a real relationship. And I can't even just bide my time and hope things don't work out because she and Nathan practically have an arranged marriage that she can't get out of without being cut off from her trust fund. So yeah, I _like _her, but there's nothing I can do except try to forget about her, only I can't because I have you breathing down my neck every time I look at her, reminding me how I feel. So you win again. Are you happy now?"

James crossed his arms over his chest. He felt like getting up and stalking off to his room, but he knew it wouldn't do any good. There was no point in trying to avoid Kendall—he'd probably follow him, and even if he didn't, they still lived in the same house.

"Look, I'm sorry," Kendall started. "I didn't know you felt that strongly about it."

"Well now you do. So can we drop it now?"

Kendall stared at him for a long moment. "…Yeah, okay. Sorry," he said again.

"It's fine."

Kendall felt bad about pushing James so much. He hadn't known that James actually had real feelings for Michelle. James was never the kind of guy to invest too much of himself into a relationship, and he felt bad that the first time it had happened to him, it was with a girl who he never had a chance with. This was on his mind as he went down the stairs, and so didn't notice John, who was heading out the door. Kendall bumped right into him.

"Sor—oh. It's you," Kendall said flatly.

"Morning, son. I've been called into work, but your mother tells me you all won your football game last night. Congratulations."

"Thanks."

When he didn't say anything else John cleared his throat. "Okay, well, have fun at the dance tonight."

Kendall shut the front door behind John a little harder than was necessary and turned around to find his mother glaring at him disapprovingly.

"Hey, Mom."

"Kendall, what was that about?"

"What was what about?"

"I've asked you to be nice to John, why can't you give him a chance?" Mrs. Knight said. She followed Kendall into the kitchen, watching as he made himself some toast and dug through the refrigerator for some jelly.

"Did he spend the _night _here?" Kendall asked, trying to change the subject.

"He did, actually," Mrs. Knight told him unashamedly. "Problem?"

"Yeah, Mom! That's gross!"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, sweetie. You'll notice that I haven't asked you why on earth I heard you boys stumble in at 3 AM. John just wants to get to know you."

"Well maybe I don't want him to get to know me," Kendall mumbled. He sat down at the kitchen table, not meeting his mother's eyes.

"Honey. Tell me, what's going on? The truth. Is this about your father?"

"No. I don't know. Not really," Kendall answered. "It's not that I don't like him, Mom, he seems like an okay guy. I just… He's not my dad. I haven't needed a dad for the last eight years, and I don't see why I should need one now all of a sudden."

"John's not trying to replace your father, Kendall," Mrs. Knight said softly. "But I had hoped you would realize that he does mean a lot to me and would put some effort into being civil towards him. It's not like he's the first man I've ever dated."

"I know," Kendall sighed. "But… did you know that dad came to talk to me the night he left?"

Mrs. Knight closed her eyes at the memory of that night, putting a hand over her heart. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw the fight, Mom. I saw the whole thing. Afterwards I ran back into my room and got in bed, then Dad came in a few minutes later and told me that he did a bad thing and he had to leave, and that I was man of the house from then on. He told me it was my job to take care of you and Katie."

"Kendall, why didn't you ever tell me this before?"

"I don't know," he muttered. "It doesn't matter. The point is, when Dad took off, you promised us that it would be okay, that we could take care of ourselves, just the three of us. And so far we have, and I don't see why that has to change now."

"Honey, you have to understand that things are different now. You and Katie don't need me to look after you anymore. And you have your friends to worry about, at any rate. Lord only knows the kind of trouble you four get into. Besides, John does care about me, and you and Katie, despite the fact that you are doing your best to get him not to like you."

"How do you know he's not just like those other guys, Mom? The ones who all took off as soon as things got rough," Kendall said bitterly.

Mrs. Knight ruffled Kendall's hair as she stood up. "Nothing's ever certain, Kendall. But the best we can do is live life and take it a day at a time, and trust that things will be okay."

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, the boys were finishing up getting ready for the dance, somewhat dreading going downstairs, knowing they'd be attacked by Mrs. Knight and her digital camera. Logan was trying to teach Carlos how to do his tie, and James was combing his hair for the thirteenth time since his shower. Kendall was lacing up a pair of Vans and seriously contemplating skipping the whole dance—he'd been in a subdued mood ever since the conversations with James and his mother, but he couldn't let James go to the dance stag by himself. So he sucked it up and plastered on a smile for his mom's pictures, cringing as she made them pose.<p>

When they got to Michelle and Derek's house, they found all the guys waiting downstairs, looking bored and impatient. They could hear music blasting from upstairs and the girls' chatter as they finished getting ready. Holly was the first to come down, looking slightly uncomfortable due to the fancy dress and black cage heels she was wearing. Her strapless dress was fitted and knee-length and a pretty light-gold color; Kendall had never seen her look so…normal. When he saw her outside of school, she usually wore all black. She wore her usual large amount of eye makeup, her blue-green eyes standing out against the dark liner and mascara. Derek and Luke both looked up, and Kendall realized that he didn't even know who Holly's official date was. He soon found out when Derek met her at the bottom of the staircase and handed her a wrist corsage. Kendall was pretty good at reading people, so he could see that even though Luke was trying to play it off like he didn't care, it was bugging him to see Holly with Derek.

Hannah and Anya came down together shortly after Holly. They too wore knee-length dresses. Hannah's was also strapless, an off-white number that looked nice with her sun-tanned skin, while Anya's was a one-shouldered, shiny, dark sea-green tinted piece. Kendall watched as Logan and Carlos greeted them with hugs and light kisses, feeling a pang of jealousy as he remembered doing the same thing with Jo at the Palm Woods prom. Even though everything about that night had been a disaster, it was still one of his favorite memories of his ex-girlfriend. It had been nearly six months since she'd left, and he still couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness he got whenever he thought about her. Sure, they still texted every so often and kept up with each other over Twitter, but it wasn't enough for him. Kendall was starting to doubt whether he'd ever feel for someone else what he had felt for Jo.

"Leave it to the two models to take the longest getting ready," Scott said from his spot on the couch, looking up towards the staircase to see if Michelle and Naomi were coming yet. He had asked Naomi to be his date to the dance, and she had accepted his invitation, neither one doing so out of any real romantic interest. They had always been strictly friends-only.

Finally the two girls emerged at the top of the staircase. Kendall chuckled as Scott tripped over himself in his haste to get up from the couch and hurry over to Naomi. Her royal blue dress stood out against her fair skin and blonde hair, and the heeled ankle boots brought her to within a couple of inches of Scott's height. Michelle's long black hair looked deceitfully undone, but Kendall knew from living with James that achieving that perfect level of _looking _like you didn't take forever to get ready actually _did_ take forever. Her light purple dress was a nice contrast to her dark hair. Kendall watched James closely as _he _watched Nathan and Michelle kiss at the bottom of the stairs. James' face remained impassive, and Kendall thought that he must be a better actor than any of them knew, because he looked unconcerned that the girl he'd finally admitted he actually really liked hadn't even spared him a glance.

Kendall realized they were in for an interesting night when it dawned on him that he, James, and Luke were the only ones without dates. Everyone else was coupled up, taking pictures in front of the fire place and trading corsages and boutonnieres. They had all three subconsciously grouped together, and Luke, without saying anything, passed Kendall a flask full of liquid. Kendall raised an eyebrow at Luke, who shrugged. Kendall raised the flask to his nose, sniffing at it before steeling himself and taking a quick gulp. The whiskey burned all the way down, and he had to fight not to cough. He handed it over to James who took a gulp too, not pausing to ask what it was.

Everyone piled into cars and they made their way to school, arriving fashionably late. The gym was decorated nicely and people had already started dancing. Kendall and James stuck with Luke and they meandered kind of aimlessly through the gym for awhile before coming to a standstill in front of the drink table. Kendall and James covered Luke while he ducked to pour some of his whiskey into a cup so he could drink it with some Coke.

Kendall kept an eye on all his friends, watching as Carlos slow-danced with Anya, as Logan actually looked happy to be with Hannah, and as Derek looked to be having a serious conversation with Holly on the bleachers. He was asking her something, and she was looking back at him with sad eyes, shaking her head and looking like she was about to cry. Anya caught sight and went over to them, and the two girls went off in the direction of the bathroom. Derek stared after them for a moment before he and Carlos went over to the drink table to join Kendall and the others.

"Trouble in paradise?" Luke asked. His tone was innocent, but there was something of a triumphant gleam in his eye.

"Shut up," Derek said.

"Whatever man, this is lame. What do you guys say we go have some fun?" He jerked his head toward the door leading to the outside, and the boys all followed him as he led the way out.

They went around the corner of the building, and just as Luke was taking out a joint to light up, they heard the door slam again and two figures emerged from the dark. Luke hastily tried to hide the joint, but there was no need—it was only two guys from the baseball team.

"Fancy meeting you here, Torres," said a tall black boy who Kendall had never seen before.

Luke grinned. "Care to join us?"

The boys stood around and smoked for awhile, passing around the now-lit joint and taking occasional swigs from Luke's flask.

"So, what happened between you and Holly in there?" Kendall asked Derek. "Was she upset about something?"

"It's no big deal," Derek muttered.

"Yeah, right," Luke said with a malicious laugh. "Stick around McKinney long enough and you'll soon learn what his 'rejected' face looks like. Did you ask her to be your girlfriend again? And get shot down, again?"

"Seriously, man, shut the fuck up," Derek said, shoving Luke.

"I'm only filling in our new friends here on what's common knowledge to everyone else," Luke said with mock seriousness. "Isn't that right, Dean?"

The tall black boy took a swig from his own flask. "Oh yeah," he replied nonchalantly. "Just like the fact that no one knows _why_ McKinney continues to pursue Holly since she's fucked half the baseball team. Including Luke here. But I guess I can understand why you'd go for the easy score."

"_What_?" Derek asked, looking from Dean to Luke. Even Luke looked stricken for a moment.

Dean held his hands up in defense. "Did Torres here forget to mention that little detail? Quality friend, right there." He tossed the joint to the ground and stepped on it before he and his friend headed back inside.

"What the fuck is he talking about?" Derek demanded, shoving Luke again.

"Back off, Derek," Luke warned.

"I'm not gonna fucking back off! You had sex with Holly? When?"

"At the end of last school year."

"Are you fucking kidding me, Luke? You knew how I felt about her, how could you do that? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because unless it's up your ass, you've got no business worrying about where my dick's been," Luke retorted.

Derek threw a punch that landed square on Luke's jaw. Luke staggered backward a few steps into Carlos, who tried to steady him, but Luke launched himself at Derek. They each got a few more hits in before Kendall and James succeeded in pulling them apart. Derek's lip was busted and Luke had a bloody nose. Both their shirts had come untucked and they both struggled to get free. Derek wrenched himself from Kendall's grip and he was afraid that Derek would try to attack again, but he merely spat a mouthful of blood on the ground at Luke's feet, sending him a scowl as he passed him and headed straight for the parking lot.

James let go of Luke, who didn't seem to care as the other three boys stared at him. He merely tossed them a smirk as he went back inside. Kendall, James, and Carlos all looked at each other in confusion, the same thing on all their minds. _What just happened? _

When they got back inside, Luke was nowhere in sight, and Holly and Anya were still gone too. Carlos took out his phone and Kendall read over his shoulder as he sent a text:

_You still with Hol? We might have a problem._

Barely two minutes later, he received a reply from Anya.

_Yes. What kind of problem?_

"Should I tell her what happened?" Carlos asked Kendall, looking to the leader for answers.

"Might as well," James answered before Kendall could say anything. "Holly's going to find out sooner or later. It should be from a friend."

"I think you're right," Kendall agreed. "She needs to be prepared for whatever's going to happen."

Carlos took a deep breath and typed back a long message to Anya, giving her the details on what had happened outside. When he was done he slid the phone back into his pocket and looked back up at Kendall and James.

"Now what?"

"I have no idea," Kendall said honestly.

Logan appeared with Hannah at their side suddenly, looking happy, unaware of what was going on. Kendall spotted Luke across the room, talking with the boy who'd been with them outside. He didn't look particularly angry, and Kendall wondered how Luke could just blow off something like this. Anya and Holly emerged from the girls' bathroom, but instead of heading for their group, Holly located Luke and marched straight over to him and slapped him across the face.

"Whoa, check it out," Logan pointed. He had seen it too.

They couldn't hear what Holly was yelling over the loud music that was beating through the gym, but they all rushed over before any teachers could see the commotion. Luke didn't look fazed by Holly's slap; in fact, he almost looked amused. He smirked at her as he said something in her ear and she shoved him away from her.

"Guys, guys, let's take this outside," Kendall said, stepping forward between Holly and Luke.

Luke only shrugged and turned towards the door. Holly followed with Kendall and the others close behind. Michelle and Nathan had spotted them by this point and also followed them outside, wanting to know what was happening.

"How could you do that?" Holly asked Luke once they were outside, not caring that everyone was staring at them.

"I didn't do anything," Luke said calmly. "My buddy Dean just happened to let something slip. Not my fault you never bothered to tell Derek the truth."

"The truth about what?" Michelle asked, stepping forward, crossing her arms and looking over at Holly.

"Well, secret's out, Holls," Luke said. "Might as well let the whole world know."

Holly just stood there, saying nothing. Kendall wanted to intervene, to break it up, anything, but he was frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch as the scene unfolded.

"Holly, what the fuck is he talking about?" Michelle demanded.

"I—You don't under—"

"Don't be shy, now, Holly," Luke said, slinging an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. "'Chelle's bound to hear it sooner or later. But I see why you'd prefer not to be the one to tell her how you've totally and completely fucked over her twin brother. She gets feisty when she's pissed off."

Michelle's eyes flashed from Luke to Holly again. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"Me," Luke grinned, letting the revelation sink in before he continued. "Holls here has been having a grand old time going back and forth between me and your brother. Now, I, personally, don't give much of a fuck, but judging from the tantrum your brother threw, I'd say he cares quite a lot."

"That's enough, Luke," Kendall said, finally finding his voice.

"No problem, Knight. It looks like you guys have enough to worry about now anyway, what with Derek taking off half stoned and all. You might want to check up on him." Luke lit up a cigarette and backed off, digging in his pocket for his own keys as he turned his back and headed for the parking lot.

Kendall stared after him, rubbing his temples. Suddenly he felt sick. He hadn't even thought to make sure that Derek was okay to drive. They'd been standing around smoking and drinking, and then Kendall had just let his friend leave…He'd never forgive himself if anything happened to Derek tonight.

Holly looked at Michelle with pleading eyes. "Please, Michelle, let me explain," she said desperately, putting a hand on her arm.

Michelle snatched it away, a look of pure loathing on her face. "Don't fucking touch me. What is there to explain?" She took out her phone and dialed a number. "God damn it," she muttered when the voicemail picked up her call. "Derek, it's me. Where are you? Call me back, please."

She stalked off towards the parking lot, with Nathan in tow, not listening as Holly tried to talk to her.

"Michelle, just listen," Holly tried. "I didn't mean to hurt him!"

Michelle spun around at this. "Do you think that fucking matters, Holly? Just because you didn't mean to doesn't mean he's not still hurt!" It was imperceptible, and Kendall wasn't sure he had even really seen it, but he thought he saw Michelle's eyes flicker to James for a brief instant.

"Please, just let me go with you to find him."

"No. You stay the fuck away from me. And my brother." She turned her back and continued walking, and this time Holly did not try to follow.

Holly sank to the ground, clutching her stomach, finally allowing the tears to escape. Kendall and the boys stood there, helpless, not knowing how to make her feel her better about any of this. Kendall was trying hard not to judge her too harshly (after, he really didn't know the whole story), but from what he'd heard, she had brought this all on herself. Anya and Hannah rushed over to help her up, trying to soothe her and get her to calm down.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay," Anya said softly. "Come on, let's go home."

Hannah tossed her keys to Logan. "Can you give us a ride?"

"Yeah, sure."

Carlos joined him, walking with the three girls to Hannah's car, getting into the front seat with Logan while the three girls got into the back. Holly was still crying, smudging her makeup. Anya tried cleaning her up with some tissues from her purse. As Logan drove away, Kendall and James were left standing alone with no clue what to do except go home and wait.

* * *

><p><strong>Whew. So, it was later than I wanted it to be, but the chapter is also a lot longer than I anticipated, too, so hopefully that makes up for the wait. I'd love to know your thoughts!<strong>

**I posted my notes for chapters 14 and 15 on my Tumblr, so be sure to check those if you're interested. The links to the blog are now in my profile. I'm also posting pictures of all the girls' Homecoming dresses if you want to see them. The "Ask me anything" box is open to anyone and everyone so feel free to ask questions or leave suggestions! **

**Thanks for reading! **


	18. Navigate

**Thanks so much for your reviews! They make me happy. Here's the next chapter, hope you guys like it. **

Chapter 18: Navigate

_And this is where we both get scared,  
>This is where emotion flares<br>This is where we both prepare.  
>Navigate me through your body, navigate me…<br>I'm creeping your way and these sheets aren't stopping me._

* * *

><p>Kendall and James crept quietly into the house. They decided to wait for Logan and Carlos in the upstairs game room, knowing that they'd be home soon. They sat in silence, both of them trying to make sense of the things that were running though their minds. Kendall was worried about Derek—he hadn't answered any of his texts so far, and he didn't know what he'd do if his friend got into an accident because he hadn't thought to take his keys away from him. James was worried about Derek, too, but more than that, he was worried about Michelle. He hadn't missed that she looked over at him when she'd been yelling at Holly. He needed to talk to her, and soon. He played with his phone absently, trying to distract himself, until finally he typed out a text and sent it.<p>

_Let us know when you find out something about Derek. Kendall is freaking out. _

He didn't get a response, but James knew Michelle would get back to him eventually. She never ignored him.

Finally, near midnight, Logan and Carlos appeared on the second floor, their ties hanging loosely around their necks and their shirts looking wrinkled and untucked. Logan had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. They both looked exhausted but neither of them headed to their rooms for bed. Instead they joined Kendall and James in the game room and collapsed onto a couch.

"What happened?" Kendall asked instantly. "Is everyone okay?"

"I don't know if 'okay' is what I'd call it," Logan said slowly. "Holly was a wreck when we got in the car, and she was saying how she didn't want to go home, so we took all the girls to Hannah's house; I think they're all spending the night there."

"We tried helping, but Anya just told me they'd handle it and didn't say anything else about it," Carlos added. "It sounds like there's more to this than we found out tonight, but Anya wouldn't tell us why she and Hannah were so worried about Holly. I mean I know she's upset, but there's not really much they can do, ya know?"

"Have you guys heard anything about Derek?" Logan asked.

Kendall shook his head. "No… I… What if something happened to him?" His voice cracked uncharacteristically. "I should have stopped him."

"You weren't the only one there," James said. "We were too. It's not your fault, Kendall."

Carlos decided to remain optimistic. "He's probably fine. He was really mad. I bet once he cools off he'll go home safe and it'll all be over."

"I hope you're right," Kendall sighed.

The boys all fidgeted around for a while longer, but when the heavy silence became unbearable, they each headed off to their own rooms. Carlos texted with Anya for awhile, checking that they were still okay. Logan fell asleep right away. Kendall lay awake, checking his phone every so often for a text or a call that he might have missed. He supposed that no news was good news, in this case. James, meanwhile, tossed and turned, not really sleepy, but having nothing better to do but try to go to bed. After about a half hour of this, James' phone vibrated from the nightstand next to him. Michelle was calling him.

"Hello? Michelle?" James answered, sitting up quickly.

"_James," _she said shakily.

"What is it? Is it Derek? Is he okay?" James asked, unable to keep the panic from creeping into his voice.

"_No, no he's fine. Scott just called me, he went over to his place. I—I'm sorry I didn't answer your text earlier."_

"It's fine," James assured her. "You were busy."

"_Can you tell Kendall that Derek's okay? He asked me to tell whoever wanted to know. He doesn't feel like talking to anyone." _

"Yeah, sure. How… how are you?"

"_I don't know." _

"What does that mean?"

"_It means I don't know if…if I can do this anymore."_

"Do what anymore?" He asked, but he knew perfectly well what she was talking about.

"_Us," _she replied after a short pause.

"'Chelle," he tried.

"_James, I can't. I can't do it to Nathan anymore. You saw what happened to my brother; I can't keep doing the same thing to my boyfriend!" _

"No, come on. Don't say that," James said desperately. "Just wait for a minute, please."

"_No! Don't you understand? This isn't going to end well for anyone! I—I love you, James, but I still love him too! And no matter what happens, someone's going to lose. So let's just quit while we're ahead before we get in too deep."_

James felt his breath catch in his throat upon hearing those words. "Michelle, I—"

"_Don't! Don't say it, please," _she begged. _"I don't want to hear it. It's done, okay? We're done." _

"No, wait, don't hang—" The line went dead before he could even finish the sentence.

James felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. This couldn't be happening, it _wasn't _happening. His heart raced, and he had to keep himself from punching a wall or kicking his dresser in anger—he had to get out of his room, it was suffocating him. He pulled on a pair of sweat pants over his boxers and jammed his feet into a pair of Converse, and before he knew it he was barging into Kendall's room. The light was still on; Kendall had been listlessly flipping through an old hockey magazine, and jumped when James entered the room.

"What happened? Is it Derek?" he demanded, misinterpreting the panicked look on his friend's face.

"What? No. I—Michelle just called me. Derek's fine. He's at Scott's. I, um… I need to go over there."

"To Scott's?" Kendall was confused.

"No, to Michelle's," James said distractedly. "I need you to leave your window unlocked so I can get back in later. Please," he added.

Kendall stared at James for a moment before nodding slowly. "Okay," he said simply. "But—"

"Please don't ask," James pleaded. "As my friend, I'm asking you to let it go."

"James—"

"Kendall, please."

Kendall rubbed his eyes, frustrated that his best friend refused to open up to him. He looked James straight in the eye, seeing the look of pain on his face as he begged Kendall to let him keep this one secret. "Okay. Go ahead."

James let out a breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. He opened up Kendall's window, looking back before he climbed onto the tree outside the balcony. "Thank you," he said before disappearing out into the night.

Michelle only lived a few streets away, so he walked over to her house, not prepared at all for what he would say or do when he got there. All he knew was that he had to see her. When he got there, he looked up at the second story of the mansion. He could see the dim lighting of her lamp through the sheer curtains that hung in front of the window. He took a deep breath before climbing up the trellis to her window, tapping softly on it and waiting a moment or two. Seconds later Michelle's face appeared in the window and she pushed it open.

"What are you doing?" she hissed. "You can't be here!"

"Well, I'm here," James answered. "So you can either let me in or talk to me while I hang on the side of your house."

She stared at him for a moment, and James thought that she might actually make him stay outside, but finally she sighed and stood back, making room for him to clamber inside. All he could do was stare at her, since he still hadn't come up with anything to say. Her hair, damp from her shower, was pulled into a messy bun, her face was devoid of any makeup and she was wearing what must have been one of Derek's old lacrosse t-shirts. It was faded red with white lettering and it was too big for her, hanging past her hips, barely covering the tops of her thighs. She wasn't wearing shorts. James thought for the first time that she actually looked like a normal seventeen year old high school girl, instead of this perfect, done-up model she usually was. She was beautiful.

"Why are you here?" She finally asked when he didn't say anything.

"You know why," he answered, finding his voice.

"I meant what I said," Michelle told him, crossing her arms. "I'm done. I can't do it anymore."

"No," James said, taking a step forward. "You know that's not true. You can't look me in the eye and tell me that's what you really want. You're not _that_ good an actress."

He reached out to stroke the side of her face and she closed her eyes before turning her head away from his touch.

"What do you want from me?" Michelle asked. "Why do you want this so bad? You know you can't really have me! You know that I can't break up with Nate! All you're doing is making it harder for when we have to let this go."

"I don't want anything _from_ you, okay? But you can't just tell me you _love _me and then hang up and expect me not to do anything about it! Maybe I... maybe I love you too. And maybe all I want is you."

He could see her resistance waning; it was etched in her face and she took an automatic step towards him. They looked at each other for a long moment before James finally pulled her to him and crashed his lips against hers, probing the inside of her mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance and her hands clenched fistfuls of his hair as his arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her in place so that his own hands could roam her body. They staggered backwards toward the bed, falling onto it clumsily.

Michelle found the hemline of James' t-shirt and slipped her hands underneath it, tracing over the muscles of his abdomen before pushing it up. He raised his arms to help her get it off of him, his body now tingling everywhere their bare skin met. She attacked his mouth again before moving to spot on his neck she knew drove him crazy, biting it roughly. His mind went blank and before he knew it, Michelle was tugging at his sweat pants, pulling them past his knees and off, dropping them to the floor. As she crawled back up to kiss him again, he rolled over and grabbed at the loose-fitting shirt that separated their bodies, each of his knees resting on either side of her hips, effectively pinning her down.

Michelle's t-shirt joined his on the floor, revealing to him her bare chest for the first time. He seemed to be working on autopilot as he pulled at the band of her underwear, and she pushed everything except for him out of her mind. She lifted her hips so he could slide her panties off and smiled at him as he gazed down at her naked body. He snapped out of it when her soft hands felt their way under the waistband of his boxers, her cool skin sending shivers down his spine as the last remaining article of clothing between them disappeared.

She lay back and yanked him down to her, hooking a leg over his waist and reaching a hand between them to guide him inside her. Their breathing was ragged as he pushed himself into her entrance, neither of them pausing to savor the feeling. It was hurried and desperate and James had a fleeting thought that maybe it should have been more romantic, it being his first time and all. But he didn't have time to dwell on it because all too soon he felt the tension building, begging for release, and he did everything he could to keep it at bay, wanting to hold off long enough for Michelle's sake. He kissed her neck and teased her breasts, causing her to gasp quietly. She pulled his hair a little, starting to meet his thrusts by rolling her hips up whenever he pushed in, encouraging him to quicken his pace.

"_James." _She moaned his name, biting her bottom lip and gripping a handful of her bed sheets keep herself from crying out too loudly.

Hearing his name like was the last straw. He buried his head into the crook of her neck to let out a muffled groan as he felt her walls clench around him and she shuddered violently for a moment. James' body stiffened momentarily as his own orgasm wracked through him, leaving him momentarily paralyzed by the pleasure. He collapsed onto his side, not wanting to rest his weight on her. They were still panting hard and neither one said anything as their eyes met. James snaked an arm under her, pulling her against his body and she smiled softly, resting her head against his shoulder as he kissed the top of her head. She draped her arm over his waist and he pulled the covers up over them and they stayed there like that, neither one needing to say anything.

* * *

><p>The sunlight peeked in through the window, making James stir from his sleep. He opened his eyes, still heavy with slumber, and it took him a split second to remember where he was.<p>

_Shit, _he thought. _What time is it? _

He glanced around for his phone and saw it on the floor near the window. He eased himself out of bed, pausing to hurriedly put his clothes on. He froze when he heard Michelle moving around, but she was still asleep, curling her body into the warm spot where James had just been. It was just after 7 AM, and he knew he had to get back home before Mrs. Knight woke up and realized he was missing or spotted him sneaking back in. James looked back at Michelle, not wanting to wake her up, but he knew that she might get the wrong idea if he snuck out without saying something.

He climbed back onto the bed, stroking her face softly until her eyes fluttered open. She blinked a few times in confusion, a little disoriented until she caught sight of James.

"Hi," she said softly.

He bent down and kissed her lightly. "Morning," he whispered. "I've got to get going."

Michelle clasped his hand to stop him. "No you don't," she said with small smile. "Stay for a while."

James shook his head. "What if your brother comes home? Or if your parents come upstairs? Besides, I have to get back before Kendall's mom realizes I'm not there."

She pouted playfully but she knew he was right. She sat up, keeping the sheet wrapped tightly around her. "Hand me my shirt?"

James looked around for it, finding in the corner near her bedroom door. He tossed it to her and waited. She only looked back at him.

"Could you turn around?"

James raised an eyebrow at her. "Seriously?"

"Just do it!" She rolled her eyes at him as he turned his back to her. She slipped the red shirt back over her head, and dug a clean pair of pajama shorts out from a dresser drawer. She went over and hugged James from behind when she was dressed. He turned into her embrace, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I'll call you later, okay?" James said. Michelle nodded against him.

He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eye. "We're okay, right? You and me?"

"Yeah," she said softly. "We're okay."

James kissed her one last time before climbing through the window.

* * *

><p>Kendall was usually dead to the world in the mornings, and James hoped his luck would continue as he pulled himself up the tree outside his friend's window. He hopped onto the balcony, scrambling into Kendall's room as noiselessly as possible. Kendall snored lightly and turned over in his sleep, but otherwise remained undisturbed. James shut Kendall's door quietly behind him and went up to his own room on the third floor, passing by Carlos' room on his way. Truthfully, he wished he could sleep some more, but once he was up for the day, that was it. He couldn't fall back asleep until he went to bed that night.<p>

He grabbed some clean clothes from his room and decided to take a shower. Once he was clean, he went back to his room, leaving his door ajar. He sat on the edge of his bed, towel-drying his hair for once instead of going through the whole routine of blow-drying and combing it. He hadn't put on a shirt yet, so he rested there in just a pair of basketball shorts, finally allowing the full weight of the past twelve hours or so to crash down around him. As he stood in front of his mirror, inspecting the bruise on his neck and the now-faint nail marks on his left shoulder, he wondered for the first time if he did the right thing by going to see Michelle. He hadn't intended to go over there and _sleep _with her…he just wanted to see her. Talk to her. Let her know that she couldn't push him away.

Everyone knew James wasn't really a relationship kind of guy. People who didn't know him just assumed he got around—that he screwed every girl he dated without a second thought. His best friends knew that wasn't true. It wasn't like he was waiting for some profound moment to lose his virginity, or that he was holding off for marriage or anything like that. He just literally hadn't met anyone he felt like getting close enough to, to have sex with. Until now, anyway.

Call him old-fashioned, or a romantic at heart, (or maybe he had just seen too many chick-flicks with girls on dates) but he somehow thought having sex for the first time was supposed to be a bigger deal than it had been. Not that it hadn't been _good. _It had. Better than good. Fantastic, amazing, mind-blowing, and every other teen movie clichéd adjective you could think of. It had been pure _fun, _like nothing else he'd ever experienced or felt before. He didn't regret it, not by a long shot, he just hadn't known what to expect, or how he should feel about it.

He supposed he should feel happy—wasn't he living every guy's dream? He was hooking up with a _model, _for crying out loud, and he didn't have the added pressure of having to be her boyfriend. It should have been win-win. He should have been giddy, he should have been jumping on Kendall's bed, telling his best friend all about it while accepting congratulations and pats on the back from the others, rubbing it in their faces that he was the first one to swipe his v-card.

As he absentmindedly let these thoughts roll through his mind, he didn't hear Carlos approaching the room. Carlos knocked lightly, walking into James' room without waiting for a response.

"Hey, James, I can't find my helmet, have you—is that a hickey?"

James' hand flew to his neck, but it was too late. Carlos had already crossed the room and stood directly in front of James, trying to get a closer look.

"What are you doing up so early?" James yelped, panicked.

"Anya texted me this morning and the phone woke me up. Let me see your neck!"

"No, it's nothing!"

Carlos crossed his arms. "You don't actually expect me to believe that, do you?"

"Fine." Defeated, James let his hand fall away so that Carlos could inspect the bruise.

"Well?" Carlos asked after a moment.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to tell me who gave it to you? And when? We've been together practically all weekend. And you have _nail _marks on you! What have you been doing?"

James peered at himself in the mirror, pulling a shirt on to cover the evidence of his night and trying to buy himself some time before he had to answer Carlos. He tried to come up with a lie, any lie, anything he could say that would make even a little bit of sense, but there was nothing. At any rate, out of all the boys, Carlos was always the one James could never lie to. About anything. He couldn't pinpoint a specific reason…Carlos was just Carlos. He was just so open and trusting—he put himself, heart and soul, one hundred percent into their friendship. It would be unfair not to do the same for him.

James crossed the room and shut his door, even though he and Carlos were the only ones whose rooms were on the third floor.

He opened his mouth, not sure where to start, then promptly closed it again, closing his eyes and praying to whatever god was out there to help him get through this. "Look…before I tell you, you have to promise not to say anything. To _anyone._ That includes Kendall and Logan."

Carlos furrowed his brow. "James, I'm not good with secrets…"

"I know. That's why you have to promise, otherwise get out, because I can't tell you if you don't promise."

Carlos thought for a moment, torn between his intrigue and the knowledge that he sucked at keeping secrets, especially from his best friends. "…Okay. I promise."

James took a deep breath. "I'm, uh, sort of…seeing someone," he said lamely.

"Wow," Carlos said sarcastically. "Mystery solved. Thanks, I never would have figured that out on my own."

"No, I know, I just… don't judge me, okay?"

"Okay…"

"It's Michelle," he said finally.

Carlos blinked in surprise. "What? Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Like… _Michelle _Michelle? As in Michelle McKinney? As in Derek's sister? And Nathan's girlfriend?"

"…Yeah."

"Wow," was all Carlos could say. "How long?"

"It's hard to say," James said. "I guess ever since the photo shoot."

"You've been hiding it that long? How?"

"I don't know. We have a couple of classes together and we do the play. People are busy with their own lives, so they don't really notice. It's not that hard."

"But, um… what about, you know… her boyfriend?"

James looked away shamefully and didn't say anything.

After a somewhat awkward silence, Carlos had more questions. "So, that hickey, then. And the nail marks…?"

"Are from last night," James told him. "She called me to tell me Derek was okay. Well, no, actually she called me to break up with me so I snuck out and went over there to talk to her and… well…"

"You didn't break up."

"Not exactly."

"So what, exactly, happened?"

"Um…" He stared at Carlos pointedly.

"Oh…_oh. _Wow. Um… Wow. Okay. Cool. How… er… how was it?"

James grinned in spite of himself. "What do you want, a play-by-play? A diagram maybe?"

Carlos shoved him lightly. "No, dick. It's just a question."

"You and Anya aren't…?"

"We've only been dating like… three weeks," he pointed out.

"Well… Michelle and I aren't dating at all, so…"

"Touché. So… do you feel…different?"

"I don't know," James admitted. "Kind of. But at the same time, not really. You know? Like I'm glad it happened, 'cause I really like her, but it's just weird because…you know."

"Because she's not your girlfriend," Carlos supplied.

"Yeah," he said, looking away again.

"I'm not judging," Carlos said quickly. "Just saying."

"I know. Thanks."

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Logan went over to Hannah's house to work on homework. It would be their first time to spend any time alone since they had talked about being an official couple, and he was kind of nervous, but in a good way. He was glad he'd finally made the decision to move on—he really liked Hannah, and she didn't pressure him to feel a certain way. It was nice.<p>

They studied in companionable silence, making random comments every so often and inquiring about what the other one was working on. Inevitably, the topic of conversation soon turned to the eventful weekend they'd just had.

"It was really nice of you guys to give a shout out to Anya," Hannah said. "She really did appreciate it."

"Well, it was pretty shitty of Chelsea to just take all the credit for the work she put into Homecoming. I'm just glad all the drama that happened held off until after she was done being in charge of everything…"

"Yeah," Hannah replied. "But if it's not one thing, it's another. I worry that she takes on too much sometimes, but she pulls everything off and makes it look easy, so who am I to judge? And she still always makes time for her friends. She's not even that close to Holly, but she still insisted on taking her home this morning and making sure she was okay after Michelle was so hard on her."

"You think Michelle was too hard on her?" Logan asked, surprised.

"Don't you?"

"Well… maybe she didn't have to be so mean, but I think she had a right to be angry if Holly's been leading Derek on for so long."

Hannah shifted in her seat awkwardly, not meeting Logan's gaze. "I—you don't really know the whole story, Logan."

Logan raised an eyebrow skeptically. "How much more could there be? Derek liked Holly, right? And they've hooked up a few times, from what I've heard, but all the while, she's also been sleeping with Luke."

"I just think that maybe you shouldn't judge her yet. You guys are all new here, so there's a lot of things you don't know about Holly."

"Okay," Logan said slowly. "So tell me."

"Look, I'm not saying what she did was right, or trying to excuse it or anything, okay? But she's going through a hard time at home right now. Last spring her mom had an affair with her dad's coworker, and they got a divorce. While that was going on, Holly's older brother was killed in a car wreck. She was really close to him and she dealt with it really badly."

"What do you mean?"

Hannah closed her eyes for a moment before continuing. "Do you remember that first party you went to this summer, at Michelle's house?"

Logan remembered. It was hard to forget the first time you tried doing drugs and making out with someone you barely knew. "Of course… the one where we…"

"Yeah. That one. A few weeks before that, she had to go to the hospital to get her stomach pumped because she'd overdosed. It was bad, Logan, we were all terrified that she was going to die."

"Wow," Logan let out a long breath. "That's rough."

"Yeah. We've tried helping her through it, you know? Derek especially, because, you know, he's in love with her, but she doesn't want our help. Every time someone pushes her to talk about it or tries to get her to get help, she just pushes them away more. That's why she's been hanging out with Luke so much. He supplies her with her drugs and doesn't ask questions. It's why she hardly ever hangs out with us anymore."

Logan didn't know what to say. It had been easy to write off Holly's actions as slutty before. Of course, he'd never actually use that word, even if it was what he and the other boys were secretly thinking. Now that he knew there was more to it, he could see that Holly must have been in real pain and was trying to distract herself from her life. Along the way, she'd made some bad choices, but it was easy to see that she was crying out for help.

"We were so surprised that she actually said yes when Derek asked her to Homecoming," Hannah went on. "I thought… I thought that maybe it meant she was finally ready to let us help her."

"But then the whole thing with Luke happened," Logan said.

Hannah nodded silently. "That's why we couldn't let her go home alone last night… we were afraid she might try…hurting herself again. It just sucks feeling so helpless. We want to do the right thing, you know? But we never know what the right thing really is."

"I can imagine," Logan said. "You're a good friend, Hannah. The best you can do is just be there for her."

"I want to be. But I'm afraid of what's going to happen now that everyone knows about Luke. Michelle can be… well, let me just say that Michelle is not someone whose bad side you want to be on. She could make things really bad for Holly at school if she wanted to."

"Do you think she'd do that?"

"Maybe. She and Derek might not always seem like it, but they are really close. Really protective of each other, because their parents are either never around or using them to secure business deals. Did you know the reason Michelle started modeling in the first place was because her mother and aunts started designing clothes, and they needed a way to get exposure for the outfits quickly and cheaply?"

"Wow, Michelle's got it pretty rough at home herself, between that and the thing with Nathan," Logan commented. "Are their parents really going to force them to get married?"

Hannah shrugged. "It's hard to say. Michelle took Nate back even after finding out he'd cheated on her, so anything's possible. They've been together for so long anyway that no one really sees them breaking up."

She glanced back down at her textbook and closed it wearily. It was pretty clear that they weren't going to get much work done tonight anyway. Logan followed her lead. Over achiever that he was, he was already caught up on work for next couple of days. They had been working at the dining room table, and Hannah stood and stretched out her body and led Logan to the living room, where they both plopped down on the couch.

"So," Logan teased, "how did you end up so normal with such crazy friends?"

Hannah smacked him lightly on the chest, but let her hand rest there as she curled up into his side. "No one's really normal, Logan. Everyone's got issues. Some people are just better at hiding them."

Logan knew she was teasing him back, but he couldn't help but hear the truth of her statement edged in her voice. It made him think about his own friends—they'd always been close, told each other everything, had no secrets, but lately it seemed like somehow they were all growing apart. They'd been a unit for so long, it was weird actually having lives separate from each other. They still _lived _together, they were still best friends, nothing could change that. But he wondered if Hannah was right. What issues were he and his friends hiding from each other in an effort to seem like everything was normal?

* * *

><p><strong>Be sure to tell me what you thought! More reviews equals faster update…just sayin'!<strong>


	19. Who's Got Your Heart?

**Got a couple of requests to see Camille and more of Carlos and Anya, soooo here they are! **

**Usually my chapters cover specific periods of time, but this one is a bit different; there's more of a time-jump here. Just a heads up! Hope y'all like it.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 19: Who's Got Your Heart?<p>

It was nearly 3 AM. Camille was exhausted, cold, and soaking wet. She'd been on set since 9 AM that morning, and had yet to be released from work. Tonight they were shooting out in the woods, outside the city. She honestly had no idea how she was still standing—the coffee she'd been drinking since about ten PM must have been laced with amphetamines or something. She remained still as stylists arranged her wet hair and touched up her makeup, growing more uncomfortable by the minute in her wet clothes. She and JT waited as their stunt doubles filled in for them, filming a scene where they were both tossed into a river.

"And…CUT!" yelled the director. "Laurel and Tamani, get in there!"

Camille and JT switched places with their stunt doubles, wading out into the river until they were nearly chest deep. They both squatted into the water, dipping their bodies all the way in, waiting for the director to call action. Camille's heart was racing a little in anticipation—she knew how to swim, of course, and the current here was nowhere near strong enough to actually be a danger to them, but something about being underwater at night time was making her apprehensive. She'd never particularly liked swimming underwater, and she did not relish the thought of having to submerge herself for this scene.

"ACTION!"

Camille and JT both quickly went beneath the surface, waited a few moments, and then burst back up, fake-coughing and spluttering, as though they had just nearly drowned. JT wrapped an arm around her protectively and feigned dragging her back to the shoreline, where they both collapsed in a heap to the muddy ground, breathing heavily and spitting out water.

"Laurel! Laurel, are you okay?" She felt JT's hands gripping her shoulders tightly and shaking her a little.

"I—I'm fine," she said, lacing her fingers behind his neck and resting there. "We have to get out of here! They might come back." Her voice was shaky, panicked.

"You're right, we need to move." JT stood and helped her up and they both began walking towards the cover of the woods, stumbling and limping a little.

"CUT!"

Camille and JT relaxed as their scene ended, and were immediately given blankets to warm up in. They wandered off to the side for a bit, waiting for instructions from their director. He was watching the playback of what they had just shot, and Camille silently prayed that he would be satisfied with what he saw. They had done seven takes already, and she didn't know how much more she could take of this. Her caffeine buzz was wearing off and her skin was chafing because her tight jeans were soaked. She took some deep breaths in an effort to keep her teeth from chattering while she watched as the director pointed to the screen and nodded his head.

"I think we got it, guys," he announced.

With a sigh of relief, Camille relaxed, already feeling the tension in her shoulders start to dissipate. JT pulled her in for a quick hug, both of them thanking God for this small miracle.

"Everyone gather round, for just one sec," their director called. "I know you guys are tired, this will only take a minute!"

Holding in their groans, Camille and JT joined the rest of the cast and crew. What on earth could he possibly have to say at 3 AM?

"With that last scene, we have officially wrapped the filming of season one of Wings! Congratulations everyone!"

Camille's mouth dropped open in surprise. It was hard to keep track of how much work they'd actually done, because things were often filmed out of order, but she couldn't believe she'd actually missed the fact that it was already their last night of filming. Everyone burst into cheers and applause, hugging each other and patting everyone around them on the back. Camille was swarmed by her new friends on the cast, everyone congratulating her on doing such a great job over the last few months. It was so surreal.

She and JT went to their separate trailers to change out of their wet costumes and gather up their things so they could leave the set for the final time. She was sleepily brushing the tangles out of her hair when he knocked lightly on her door and came inside.

"Hey," he said with a yawn. "You almost ready to go?"

"Ready when you are," she said, putting the brush in her tote bag. She took one last look around her now-empty trailer, making sure she hadn't forgotten anything, and closed the door with a sigh. "It's so weird to be leaving."

"Well, hopefully we'll be back in a few months," JT replied, taking her hand lightly as they walked towards his car together.

The network hadn't yet announced whether their show had been picked up for a second season, but they were optimistic about it. Ratings had remained solid, and they were confident that the show would continue to be a success. Unless something drastic changed, everything would be fine.

Camille didn't even realize she had fallen asleep on the drive until JT was softly waking her up. She blinked a few times and shook her head to try to gather up some alertness. They were at JT's apartment building. He'd already grabbed her bag for her and was holding open her car door for her. She stepped out into the cool night air and followed JT into the brightly lit lobby of the Oak Ridge, where they waved hello to the night-shift desk manager and stepped into the elevator. Once they reached his floor and let themselves into the apartment, they both headed straight for his bedroom.

JT's parents did not approve of his ambition to be an actor, so when he turned eighteen and graduated from high school, he moved down to LA on his own from Seattle. Therefore, his place was not as big or luxurious as the Palm Woods, but it was all his own, and he prided himself in that alone.

Camille could barely gather the energy to wash her hair. The warm water was making her even more tired, so she abandoned her usual nightly rituals of a face mask and pore cleanser and moisturizer. She threw on some pajamas and opened the bathroom door to find that JT had already changed and was sprawled across the bed. Smiling to herself, she went around to the other side and poked him.

"Scoot over," she told him.

He grinned lazily at her and made room for her on the bed. She huddled into his warm body and he kissed her sweetly on the mouth, both of them too tired to do any more than that. She draped an arm over his chest and he turned off the lamp on his bedside table. Both of them were fast asleep within seconds.

* * *

><p>When Camille awoke the next morning, she knew she'd have an earful from her father to answer to. He liked JT well enough, but Camille had been staying out all night far too often for his taste. JT was still asleep, so she crept quietly into the living room to check her voicemail. As predicted, there were two from her father, and he had even texted her a few times. She rolled her eyes as she listened. It was becoming harder and harder to take her father seriously. He couldn't really ground her, because she had to work, so she essentially did whatever she wanted. Plus, he had already informed her that once she turned eighteen herself, he would be moving back home to Connecticut to be with her mother. That was still a ways off, but still. It just gave her all the more reason to start being more independent.<p>

And if being independent sometimes meant that she spent the night at her boyfriend's place, well so be it. Not that she and JT had actually done anything like _that _yet. He had always been very gentlemanly toward her, letting her set the pace when it came to their physical relationship, a fact she greatly appreciated.

She went back into JT's room and plopped back down onto the bed, seeing that he was now awake too. He pulled her close and kissed her neck, making her giggle as she tried to push him away. However, he was stronger and just pinned her down as he continued to kiss her neck and collarbone. She finally stopped struggling and turned into his kisses, opening her mouth to allow his tongue inside.

He tried to deepen the kiss but she pulled away. "We can't," she said. "I've got to get home. My dad's already left me two voicemails."

"Alright, alright," he grinned down at her before stealing one more kiss and letting her up. They both changed clothes and he drove her home.

Her father wasn't even in when she arrived, so she went down to the lobby to hang out with some friends, finding the Jennifers and Guitar Dude. They chatted about auditions and projects they were working on, ignoring Mr. Bitters as he ranted about how messy the lobby was or something.

Brunette Jennifer had her iPad out, using it to look up the latest gossip on Hollywood Teen Beat. It was becoming pretty standard to find pictures of Camille working on set and of Big Time Rush doing normal high school things like attend a Homecoming football game. Every so often they'd get caught at parties holding beer cans or red cups, but it was never quite so scandalous as it had been that very first time. No, the most interesting pictures were definitely the ones of Carlos with a small, unknown dark-haired girl and those of Logan with that same blonde from earlier in the summer. The captions were always the same—_Big Time Rush have some Big Time Girlfriends? BTR hotties spotted with local girls again! _Camille didn't know how to feel knowing that Logan was now actually dating the very girl they'd had their big fight over. The fight that had essentially ended things between them for good.

When Camille went back up to her apartment, her father had gotten home and was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table. He looked up when she walked in and put the paper down.

"Well, look who finally decided to come home," he said disapprovingly.

"Sorry, Dad," Camille answered. "But we were on set until after 3 AM."

"You know I don't like you staying out all night, Camille. It's not… appropriate."

Camille blushed a little but didn't say anything back.

"I know JT is your boyfriend, and he's a great guy for you, sweetie, but I don't think you should be spending that much time alone with him at such late hours. I wouldn't want you put into a situation where you might feel…pressured to do something you're not ready to do."

She was really blushing now. _Please don't try to have the sex talk with me. Please. Please. _"Dad! It's not like that!"

"All I'm saying is, you need to be careful. At your age, your bodies are telling you to act in certain ways—"

"Dad!" Camille practically yelled, mortified. "Mom already had this talk with me. It's _really _not something we need to discuss. Really."

"Fine," he said. "But no more staying out all night. I mean it. Or else we _will _be having this talk again."

* * *

><p>Over the next week, Camille enjoyed a mini-vacation before her agent started sending her out on auditions again. She landed a couple of guest-starring spots on other shows—nothing major, just some things to keep her busy while the TV show was on hiatus (she sometimes wondered whether she was landing more roles now because her acting was actually getting better, or because now she was the star of her own show and her appearance would be sure to draw some buzz). She spent some quality time with her dad, to appease him, and made sure to be home at reasonable times when she went out with JT.<p>

Finally, one day, Camille went in for a meeting with her agent to discuss her schedule and talk about some more auditions.

"Camille! Thanks for coming in!"

"No problem, Amanda. Any big news for me?"

Her agent smiled widely. "As a matter of fact, I do have some big news. I was just notified this morning that Wings has officially been picked up for a second season! Congratulations!"

"Oh my gosh! No way! Really?"

"Really! I got the call literally fifteen minutes before you walked in."

"Wow," Camille said. "This is amazing."

"It really is. You're going to have a big year, Camille, I can feel it."

After they talked about Camille's new schedule for filming her guest spots and the new auditions she was going on, Camille walked outside and called JT immediately. He didn't pick up, but she didn't leave him a voicemail. He'd see the missed call and get back to her.

It wasn't until late that night when he finally called her back. He sounded tired but happy to talk to her.

"So, you've heard the news by now, right?" Camille said immediately.

"_Yeah, my agent called me this morning to tell me_," JT replied. "_I can't believe it_."

"Me either. How was your day?"

JT was silent for a moment. "_It was, um… I had an audition_."

"Oh? Did it not go well?" she asked, hearing the tone of his voice.

"_No, it went fine. Better than fine, actually. I got the part."_

"Hey, that's great!" Camille exclaimed. "It's great, isn't it? You don't seem excited about it."

"_Well, I am excited," _he said. "_The role is a movie. It's kind of science-fiction-ey."_

"Awesome. I'm really proud of you. So why do you sound so…unenthused?"

"_Thanks. Don't get me wrong, I'm really glad I got the part, I think it's gonna be a really cool movie. The only thing is, well, the filming schedule is set to take twelve weeks."_

"Okay…" Camille said slowly, still not understanding what he was getting at. "If you're worried we won't have time to see each other very much, I'm sure we'll able to work something out."

"_Camille. I'm going to be filming to for twelve weeks…in Toronto."_

"Oh," she said softly. Toronto? Canada? "I… Really?"

"_Yeah."_

"That's a long time," she commented. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

"_Yeah," _JT said again. "_I, um. I have to leave in three days." _

"Three days?" she repeated weakly. "So soon?"

"_I know, it sucks. I almost didn't take the part, but my agent told me he'd personally kill me if I gave up the role."_

"No," Camille said quickly. "You did the right thing. This is a good opportunity for you. And hey…twelve weeks isn't that long. We'll be fine."

"_You mean that?" _JT sounded relieved. _"I was afraid you wouldn't want to do the long-distance thing."_

"I mean…It's going to suck. But I think we can do it."

Three days later, Camille was dropping JT off at the airport. There was hugging, there was kissing, there were whispered assurances that everything would be okay, and she did her best not to cry when his flight number was called. She watched as he disappeared through the security line, feeling like he'd taken a piece of her with him.

For the first week, things seemed fine. They Skyped every day. He texted her whenever he had breaks, and she left him voicemails to listen to when he got off work. The second week, they missed a couple of days Skyping. The third, they only talked twice.

* * *

><p>One Wednesday evening, James and Michelle found themselves alone in the actors' studio after play rehearsal. Everyone had gone home for the night, and James was waiting for Michelle to finish gathering up her stuff so they could head to her house.<p>

"Hurry up," he whined playfully, coming behind her and kissing her neck.

"I'm almost done, hold your horses," she said, smiling at his feigned pout.

She craned her neck up to kiss him on the mouth, and was surprised when he deepened their kiss automatically and backed her up against a wall.

"Someone's impatient today," she remarked breathlessly as he kissed her neck again.

"This is why you shouldn't take so long," he mumbled, gripping the bottom of her shirt in his fist and kissing her again.

Neither of them heard the door until it slammed shut.

They sprang apart and James turned around, panicked, and was speechless when he found Anya in the room, staring at the pair in shock, her eyes wide. James had forgotten that she had signed up to help with makeup for the play. She'd been carrying a box full of stage makeup and random things she needed for costuming, and it tumbled to the ground, its contents spilling everywhere.

"S—sorry," she stuttered. "I was just—" She bent and started shoving things back into her box, blushing furiously and trying to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Anya!" Michelle started. But Anya just shook her head quickly.

"I have to go." She practically ran out of the room.

Michelle followed her, leaving James still stunned in the studio. "Anya, wait," Michelle pleaded. "Please don't say anything."

"It's none of my business," Anya said.

"Look, I know this looks bad," Michelle said, the words tumbling out of her mouth. "I never meant for things to go this far with him—"

"You don't have to explain anything to me," Anya said, still looking shocked and slightly scared. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Really?"

Anya nodded. "I really do have to go, okay?"

"Okay." Michelle looked pale. "Thank you," she whispered.

Anya turned to go and Michelle went back to find James, who was pacing the actor's studio and biting his nails.

"Where is she?" he asked immediately. "What did she say? What happened?"

"She's going home," Michelle answered flatly. "She promised not to tell anyone."

"Do you think she was telling the truth?"

"Anya doesn't lie. It's not in her genetic makeup. James, we are so stupid."

"Don't say that," he said, reaching out for her hand.

She stared down at their joined hands before taking hers back. "We're getting careless! It's only a matter of time before something worse happens! What if that hadn't been Anya? It could have been _anyone, _and if it had been, we would be dead!"

"But it wasn't," James said, shaking her shoulders gently to snap her out of her panicked state. "We got lucky. We'll be more careful! It's going to be fine."

"How are you always so sure about this? Don't you ever think that we're doing the wrong thing?"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with being in love," James replied, looking into her eyes.

Michelle exhaled slowly. "Okay. You're right. I'm sorry, I just freaked out."

"I know. It's okay. We're gonna be okay. Let's get out of here, yeah?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

James took her hand but she shrugged it off, still feeling like they were being watched, even though no one was around. He bit his lip, deciding something.

"Carlos knows too," he said quickly, automatically wincing in fear of her reaction.

Michelle stopped dead in her tracks. "_What? _How? Why?"

"I—he saw a bruise on my neck, I had to tell him!"

"No you didn't! Why didn't you make something up?"

"You don't know Carlos like I do—you can't lie to him, it would be like… kicking a puppy. It's just wrong."

"Oh my God," Michelle muttered. "How long has he known?"

"Since…you know. The first time."

"Nearly a month, James, really? Were you ever going to tell me that little detail?"

"Look, I'm sorry. He won't tell anyone either, I promise. Kendall and Logan have no idea. Are you mad?"

Michelle's eyes softened as she looked up at him. "No. I don't mean to be so snippy, okay? This whole thing kind of has me on edge."

"It's gonna be okay," James assured her.

He didn't know how or why he constantly felt like he had to remind her that everything would be fine, but it made him wonder: who was he really trying to convince—Michelle, or himself?

* * *

><p>Carlos was noticing there was something different about Anya for the next couple of days at school. She seemed…nervous? Jumpy? Whatever it was, she was acting more high-strung than usual, which was saying something for her. He thought that since Homecoming was over, she might be a bit more relaxed, but now it seemed she had rolled straight into more responsibilities. She'd been staying late after school to be at the play rehearsals, and she was also having to fit ballet into her schedule in preparation for an upcoming recital, but whenever he asked her if she was okay, she just said that everything was great.<p>

Friday during lunch, Anya surprised him.

"Are you busy tonight?"

He pretended to think, scratching his chin. "I might have to check my schedule. I have this girlfriend, you know. She can be very demanding."

Anya threw a celery stick at him. "Very funny."

"Just kidding. What's up for tonight?"

"This is lame, I know, but my parents wanted me to invite you over for dinner," she said embarrassedly.

"It's not lame," Carlos grinned at her. "It'll be cool. Parents love me." He'd met her parents a few times quickly, but he hadn't really gotten to know them. "What should I expect?"

"Well, I'm sure they'll be asking you a lot of questions, so be prepared for that. My dad will probably tell some bad jokes, and my mom will most likely try to force you to eat like three helpings of everything."

"Okay. Nothing I can't handle. What time should I be there?"

"Around 6:30? If that works for you."

"Sure thing."

"You're really cool with this?"

"Yeah," Carlos shrugged. "If I'm meeting the folks, it must mean you plan on keeping me around for awhile."

"Hah. Well, don't count your chickens before—" she stopped abruptly, distracted by something over Carlos' shoulder.

He turned to see what she was looking at, and saw James and Michelle exiting the lunch line together. James followed Michelle, and they didn't speak to each other as they approached the table, Michelle sitting at one end with Nathan and Naomi, and James going to the other side to sit near Logan and Kendall. Carlos shifted awkwardly for a moment, seeing the two of them together. Now that he knew about them, he found himself studying James and Michelle's interactions with each other while in public. They did a great job of acting like they were only casual friends and nothing more, but every so often he would catch James staring off into space in Michelle's direction, or vice versa. True to his word, Carlos had kept James' secret, telling neither Kendall nor Logan, nor Anya.

"You okay?" Carlos asked.

"What? Oh. Yeah, it's nothing," Anya said, taking her eyes off Michelle and focusing back on Carlos. "Anyway, I promise my parents will be on their best behavior, but no guarantees. Baby pictures might be involved."

Carlos snorted and choked on his Gatorade. "Ohh, now I definitely can't wait," he laughed. "I hope I get some embarrassing stories about you out of this."

"I'm sure you will," Anya said, rolling her eyes. "My mother loves talking to anyone who will listen about me. She's getting early onset Empty-Nest Syndrome. I wish I had younger siblings so that she could focus on them. I'm like, 'Mom, I'm not even leaving for college for like, another year and a half.' Then she gets all teary-eyed and sentimental and looks through my baby book. You'd think I was all packed and ready to go."

"I feel your pain," Logan piped up, catching the tail-end of their conversation. "Carlos won't understand because he has a big family, but my mom is the same way. Only-child solidarity." He grinned at her and they bumped their fists together.

* * *

><p>That evening, Carlos was getting ready to head over to Anya's house while James read over his script for what must have been the millionth time. Kendall had an away game for lacrosse and Logan was already out with Hannah, so James, having no other plans, had been roped by Mrs. Knight into babysitting Katie (despite Katie's insistence that she was too old for a babysitter).<p>

Carlos didn't mind James hanging around his room while he got ready, but his friend seemed fidgety, like he was thinking about something.

"Are you alright?" Carlos finally asked.

James looked up guiltily. "Um… I need to tell you something."

"Okay…so tell me."

"Anya knows. About me and Michelle I mean."

"She does? How? I swear I didn't tell her," Carlos said quickly.

"No, I know. She, uh, kinda walked in on us after rehearsal the other day," James said uncomfortably. "She was kind of freaked out, I think, because she ran out of there really fast and 'Chelle had to chase her down to make sure she wouldn't say anything."

"Oh, thank God. Do you know how hard it is to know something like this and not be able to talk to anyone about it? Every time Kendall looks me in the eye, I feel like he's reading my mind! That must be why Anya's been acting so weird," he added thoughtfully.

James shrugged noncommittally and got up. "Have fun meeting the parents tonight."

"Thanks. What are you and Katie gonna do?"

"I don't know. Probably order Chinese and play video games."

When James left the room, Carlos checked his hair one more time, making sure he looked presentable for Anya's parents.

He arrived at her house and rang the doorbell, smiling when she answered the door and pecked him on the cheek.

"Hi, come in! I'm about to set the table."

Anya led him through the living room and into the connected dining room, where her father was reading the paper. He glanced up when the two teens entered. "Carlos. Nice to see you again."

"You too, Mr. Hernandez," Carlos replied, shaking his hand firmly (though, not _too _firmly).

"I hope you're hungry. Sophia's made enough food to feed an army, I think."

"Excellent, I'm starving."

"Good, good."

Dinner was a polite, quiet affair—nothing like his own family dinners. With two parents, an older brother, two younger sisters, and random uncles, aunts, and cousins that might drop in at any given time, Carlos usually had to fight for a spot at the table, as well as his _one _helping of food, much less the seconds and thirds Mrs. Hernandez was trying to force on him (though admittedly, she didn't have to try very hard; Carlos was pretty much a bottomless pit). Thinking about the differences between their two families made him a little homesick, and he made a mental note to call home soon and check in with everyone. Mr. and Mrs. Hernandez asked him some questions, but it was nothing too invasive—nothing he hadn't already been asked by dozens of writers from teen popstar magazines. A couple of times he caught himself giving his automatic rehearsed answers and had to force himself to speak normally; this was a conversation, not an interview. Still, he found it easy to talk about his family and friends and the band, so he was happy to tell Anya's parents more about himself.

After dinner, as Anya had predicted, her mother couldn't resist pulling out an old photo album and letting Carlos leaf through it, answering his questions whenever he asked about certain pictures. There were tons of pictures of Anya dressed in various costumes, always performing in some scene or other for ballets or other dance classes. Anya buried her face in a pillow in embarrassment—she'd been doing her best all these years to repress the memories of these pictures.

"You were a cute kid," Carlos laughed gleefully, snorting at a particularly horrendous picture of Anya dressed up as a stick of celery.

"Alright, that's enough of this stroll down memory lane, thanks, Mom," she said, prying the album from her mother and Carlos.

When her mother left room, Anya put away the photo album and sat back down with Carlos on the couch, enjoying the fact that they were alone now. Her parents were invited to meet some friends for late drinks, so Carlos and Anya chatted idly, waiting for them to leave. Once they were gone, Carlos leaned in and kissed her sweetly, and was surprised when she laced her fingers behind his neck and held him in place. She giggled when he lightly kissed her neck, wiggling a little at the ticklish feeling.

"What was that for?" she asked when he finally pulled away.

"Well, I've been wanting to do that ever since I got here, but I couldn't exactly do it in front of your parents," he grinned. "Anyway. Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure," she answered, seeing the more serious look on his face. "What is it?"

"I, um, I know you know about James and Michelle."

Anya's eyes widened. "Wh-what? What do you mean?" She tried to feign ignorance.

"It's okay," Carlos assured her. "James told me you kinda walked in on them after rehearsal the other day."

"Oh, thank God," she sighed in relief. "Michelle would kill me if she thought I told anyone. How long have you known?"

"Since Homecoming. It's crazy, right?"

"It's been going on that long?" She was surprised. She figured it hadn't been a one-time thing, based on what she'd seen in the actor's studio, but she had no idea it had been that serious.

"Yeah. It's been going on since they did that one photo shoot together at like the very beginning of the school year."

"Wow. That's…stressful."

"Stressful?"

"Well, yeah," Anya reasoned. "Michelle's got this boyfriend, right? She's been with Nathan since, like, eighth grade. They go on each other's family vacations, they model for the same agency, their fathers are in business together, and their families practically have their wedding all planned out for them, right down to the engagement ring that he'll give her when the time comes. Everything seems perfect. But behind the scenes, there's James pursuing her too, so now she's sneaking around behind her boyfriend's and her family's backs with this other guy."

"It's not exactly a one-way street," Carlos said, defending his friend. "Michelle knew what she was getting into."

"I'm not saying she's in the clear," Anya replied gently. "I don't mean to imply anything about James. I just mean that I don't understand how they can do it. Everyone knows Michelle and Nate always end up back together. In the meantime, they're lying to everyone. It all seems a little hopeless, is all."

"Maybe it'll be different this time."

"Maybe," Anya said doubtfully. "I don't know who I feel worse for, Michelle, James, or Nate. It seems like they're playing a dangerous game and they're all going to come out losing."

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun dunnnnn. Things are going to start happening quickly from here on out! Will James and Michelle beat the odds and end up together? Can Camille's relationship withstand so much time apart? Find out!<strong>

**Alsoooo- quick thank you's to my lovely reviewers. Thanks again to Q for being the best person ever, happygirl57 for always making me feel good about my chapters, and everyone else who continues to leave me comments and send me questions on tumblr! I love you all, y'all inspire me. **


	20. Time Bomb

**Gratuitous James smut, ahoy. Also, you will all be pleased to see a little bit of Logan and Camille at the end of this one! **

Chapter 20: Time Bomb

_From the get-go I knew this was hard to hold  
>Like a crash, the whole thing spun out of control<br>On a wire, we were dancing  
>Two kids no consequences<br>Pull the trigger, without thinking  
>There's only one way down this road<em>

_It was like a time bomb, set it in motion  
>We knew that we were destined to explode<br>And if I have to pull you out of the wreckage  
>You know I'm never gonna let you go<br>We're like a time bomb  
>Gonna lose it, let's defuse it<br>Baby, we're like a time bomb  
>But I need it, wouldn't have it any other way<em>

_Well there's no way out of this__  
><em>_So let's stay in__  
><em>_Every storm that comes,__  
><em>_Also comes to an end_

* * *

><p><em>Come help us celebrate our third birthday!<em>

_Big Time Rush is cordially invited to Hollywood Teen Beat's third annual gathering in celebration of our continued success as the premiere site for news about young Hollywood._

_Please RSVP to Jessica Kinsler._

_We would love to see you there!_

This was the email Logan had received that afternoon. He was surprised to have been invited, especially when he looked at the online guest list for the event. Everyone who was anyone and under the age of 25 in Hollywood was on it, from the cast of The Vampire Diaries to Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez to just about anyone who had ever been on a Disney Channel show to the most recent winners of American Idol. Somehow, BTR had made the guest list too. It was funny how the website was giving them more attention than ever before, considering they were supposed to be on a break. He supposed it was all a part of the Hannah Montana Effect. People were obsessed with celebrity culture, wanting to see how the other half lives. But the 'other half' was equally obsessed with trying to live a normal life—it was very paradoxical, and it was very interesting for fans to see exactly how their favorite celebrities went about trying to be normal.

Hence, they were often featured on the site doing seemingly innocuous things like attending Kendall's lacrosse games, or studying in the library (okay, just Logan on that one), or going out with their school friends. It was a bit weird at first, because the boys had no idea where the pictures were coming from. They had never seen photographers out anywhere they'd been or anything like that. It wasn't until Anya explained to them the site was run mostly off of pictures anyone could send in that they understood. It was like a legit version of Gossip Girl.

When Logan showed the rest of the guys the invitation, they all shrugged indifferently but agreed to go. If nothing else, it'd be fun to get some free food and see who would show up. The party would be the following weekend, after of a week of mid-semester exams, so at least they had something to look forward to.

In true genius fashion, Logan had to draw up study schedules for all the boys to follow, knowing that each of them would inevitably come to him for help. He worked around Kendall's lacrosse practices and games, as well as James' play rehearsals and Carlos' short attention span, but eventually he was able to come up with something that would get all of them through their exams. Anya came over a lot that week to study with Logan, since she had nearly as many AP and honors classes as he did, and they compared notes while Carlos did his best to distract Anya. But she, however cute Carlos was, was not to be deterred. Nothing got in her way when she was in business mode, and so Carlos was forced to actually do some studying of his own while his girlfriend went over possible essay questions for AP English with Logan.

Logan spent the whole week wired up on energy drinks so he could stay awake to study as much as possible, and for the first time in his life wondered if he was taking school too seriously. He was taking three AP classes, and two Honors ones, plus his two regular classes, and he (of course) was maintaining A's in all of them. Carlos, James, and Kendall were perfectly happy to scrape by with mostly B's and a couple of C's; why couldn't he be more like them? _Because, _he answered himself, _you want to be a doctor. _Hockey was fun, and he loved singing more than he ever thought he would, but science would always be his first love. And everyone knows you never forget your first love, even if things don't work out.

Kendall was starting to become concerned when he woke up one night at three AM to go to the bathroom, and found Logan still poring over a stack of Physics notes, muttering things like "objects at rest stay at rest" and "equal and opposite reaction" to himself while typing some equation into his graphing calculator.

"You alright, Loges?"

"Fine, fine," Logan said, not even looking up from his work.

"Don't you think you should get some sleep?"

"What?" he said distractedly. "No, I'm good. I'm almost done here, no worries."

"Okay…" Kendall said. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure. Go back to bed."

Shaking his head, Kendall went back to bed. But, true to his word, Logan seemed fine, if a little tired. He made it through all his exams, annoying the others when he expressed disappointment in receiving only 88 percent on his Physics test (Anya had done better—she managed a 93). James had rolled his eyes and threatened to shove him into his locker himself if he didn't shut up. The other boys put about as much effort as could reasonably be expected from them into their exams, following the study schedules Logan had made for them, and all came out with passing grades.

On Friday afternoon, Kendall had an away game to go to, so he caught up with Derek and Scott after school to head over to the bus. After the whole ordeal at Homecoming, Derek had been kind of moody and unwilling to talk about what had happened, but nearly a month had gone by and he was finally starting to get back to his old self. At least, whenever he didn't see Luke and Holly together. Even though Luke was Nathan's best friend, Michelle had made it clear in several rude ways that neither he nor Holly was welcome within ten yards of her without suffering her wrath. And so (being unwelcome in Derek and Michelle's circle of friends), inexplicably, Luke and Holly had ended up together.

Kendall didn't understand how it happened. Holly had been so mad at Luke at Homecoming, and he had acted like it didn't bother him at all. He'd even made fun of her—made a huge show of embarrassing her in front of her friends, so how could she justify being with him now? It didn't make sense, and Kendall could tell it was killing Derek.

"Holly hasn't been the same since her brother died," Scott explained to him privately. "Derek was trying to help her through it, and sometimes it seemed like he was getting through to her, but then sometimes she spiraled into this really bad place. Luke never tried to make her get help, he just let her drug herself up."

"So she's with Luke because he doesn't care about her?" Kendall had asked, still not seeing the logic.

"She's with Luke because _she _doesn't have to care with him. It's easier."

West Beverly won their game, thanks largely to Derek, who seemed to be channeling his frustration into lacrosse. He had scored all three of the goals for their team, and he didn't even seem that happy about it once the game ended, shrugging off everyone's congratulations as they headed to the locker room to shower and change.

* * *

><p>"Tell me something about you." James used his bare foot to nudge Michelle's leg playfully.<p>

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Something I don't know about you. Something that would surprise me."

Michelle thought for a moment. "Okay… Michelle isn't my first name."

James sat up in bed, looking down at her. He let the sheet fall down around his waist, leaving his chest and stomach exposed to the cool air of her bedroom. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," she grinned, fiddling with the sheet that covered her otherwise bare body. She was lying on her side, facing James, resting on one elbow and propping her head up in her hand.

"So what _is _your real name?"

"Dakota," Michelle answered, wrinkling her nose. "My mom was really into the twin thing, apparently, so she gave me and Derek matching initials. Derek Michael and Dakota Michelle McKinney."

James barked out a laugh. "I never would have guessed. Why did you start going by Michelle?"

"I went through a phase where I never wanted to be identified as a twin, so I started making people call me by my middle name so that we wouldn't have the whole twin alliteration thing going on. By the time I was over it, Michelle had stuck."

"Dakota," James repeated, testing it out. It didn't feel right coming off his tongue. "It feels weird calling you that."

"No one really uses it anymore, except Derek sometimes. Usually when he wants to annoy me, but sometimes it just slips out, like, he forgets that most people don't even know that's my first name."

"That's pretty funny. You should bond with Logan over that; his first name is Hortence."

"No way."

"Way. It was my mom that suggested he start going by Logan."

"That is hilarious," Michelle giggled. She was uncharacteristically care-free tonight, with Nathan out of town for the weekend with his parents. Usually she was so guarded with James, and it took a lot for him to break through her shell of guilt and anxiety. It was nice to see this side of her. To feel like she was completely his for once.

"Anyway," she said. "Your turn. Tell me something about you that would surprise me." She scooted closer to him, planting a kiss on his chest and grazing her nails lightly over his stomach, causing his breathing to hitch.

"I can't think of anything with you doing that," he told her, threading his fingers through her loose hair.

"Try," she smirked. She continued to plant kisses down his chest, smiling when he inhaled sharply as she moved lower and lower.

James tried to come up with something interesting about himself, but with the blood rushing to his groin he could barely even remember his name. He let his head rest against the backboard of the bed, giving into the feel of her hand gripping his now prominent erection.

"It was my first time," he blurted suddenly, just as she was moving to settle herself on top of him. The revelation made her pause.

"Your first-?"

"The night of Homecoming, when I came over to talk to you and we…you know. That was my first time." He could feel himself blushing. The back of his neck was hot and he chewed his bottom lip nervously, waiting for her to say something, to make fun of him.

Instead, she smiled. "I didn't know that. Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I don't know," James shrugged. "I didn't want you think I was lame. I knew it wasn't yours—I mean, I didn't _know, _I just assumed because of—" He cut himself off, not wanting to say _his _name. They never mentioned Nathan if they could avoid it. "I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, I guess."

She looked down, away from him. "No, it wasn't mine. Does that bother you?"

"No," he said. And he meant it. "All that matters is here and now."

"Good. And I don't think you're lame," she said, placing her hands on his shoulders and kissing his neck. "I think you're cute. And funny. And you're a quick learner." She punctuated each sentence with more kisses, moving from his neck to his jawline to his mouth.

James cradled her face in his hands, slipping his tongue into her mouth, deepening their kiss slowly. Bracing herself on his chest and shoulders, she eased her body down, straddling him as she guided his length inside her. They both let out small moans of satisfaction as she moved on top him, both rocking their hips so that he went in deeper with each thrust. His hands roamed her body, her curves now very familiar to him, and he squeezed her breasts gently, running his thumb over the sensitive area of her nipple, noticing how they grew firmer under his touch.

He took her by surprise when he rolled them over. In the few short weeks they'd been doing this, he'd discovered that he preferred to be on top, because he found it was easier to please her if he was in control. And while he wouldn't lie and say his own pleasure didn't matter, it was infinitely more satisfying when he managed to get her off before or at the same time as him.

"Faster," she breathed as he moved in and out of her.

He obeyed without hesitation, picking up his pace as he pushed himself deeper inside her. She let out a small whimper with every thrust, her own hips moving against his as she clenched his hair in her hands. He slid his thumb down between where their bodies connected, pressing directly on the hyper-sensitive nerve, sending a jolt of pleasure through her and causing her to cry out even louder. He teased the area, enjoying the moans he was eliciting from her and thanking whatever god of luck was out there that they were alone in the house. She practically growled in frustration when he slowed his tempo again.

"Don't be a tease," she purred at him.

He merely grinned down at her before leaning in to capture her mouth with his. "Tell me what you want," he said in her ear.

"Ah, _fuck_, James," she panted when he pushed back in.

"Check," he replied cheekily.

She slapped his chest lightly in retaliation, but couldn't be bothered to feign indignation. "Make me come," was all she whispered in reply.

Something about the way she said it made him stop in his tracks. Was it the tone of her voice? The words themselves? They weren't much for talking dirty, so maybe it was that. Or was it the look in her eyes when she said it? They were completely serious and heavy with lust. All he knew was that he wouldn't tease anymore.

Gripping the sheets near her head, James found his rhythm again, sliding in harder and faster than before, doing everything in his power to do as she asked. Her thighs were quivering and James pinned her arms above her head to keep her from wriggling too much.

"God, don't stop," she murmured.

As if he _could _stop, even if he wanted to. With a final whimper and a "yes, _James_" escaping her lips, Michelle's body shuddered violently and her back arched, hips meeting his one last time. James allowed himself his own release soon after, breathing heavily, his back slick with sweat. He muffled his grunt by burying his face into her shoulder and neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses along her collarbone before slipping out and collapsing onto his side.

He could get used to this.

* * *

><p>This was the most comfortable Carlos had ever seen Anya. She excelled at school, she was a great leader on student council, she loved volunteering at her church, and she had a lot of fun working on the school play (minus when she was walking in on James and Michelle making out in the actors' studio). But this? This was different. There was a gleam in her eye as she floated gracefully across the stage. She looked at home. Carlos recognized the look on her face—it was the same one Kendall got when he played hockey, or James when he was performing, or Logan whenever he helped one of them with an injury or get over the flu. It was the same for all of them. It was the look they got when they were doing something they loved.<p>

As he sat at the back of the auditorium he couldn't help but lose himself in watching her dance. It was funny how much things had changed in the last year since they'd come to LA. He'd never thought about singing or dancing before Gustavo had brought them all out here, not as a hobby, and certainly not as a career option. In high school he was a regular old jock, a hockey head. A class clown. He wasn't as good as Kendall, but he thought maybe he had a shot at playing in the minors, if he could get some college scouts to notice him. He'd never really paid attention to things like student council and school plays, but suddenly he found himself caring about these things, being interested in them. And ballet? Forget it. His little sisters had been in a production of the Nutcracker a couple years back, and it had been all he could do to just keep his eyes open during the whole show.

He cared about all those things suddenly. He never had to pretend to be interested when Anya told him about the bake sale student council was having, or how the girls in the play were being difficult about their costumes, or how her new toe shoes were killing her feet. He never had to _pretend_, because he actually did care. She made him care. He was—there was no other word for it—he was _proud_ of her. He was alone in his row (he was alone in his whole section); it was only a rehearsal, after all, but as Anya twirled and pirouetted and leaped into the air, he couldn't help but grin goofily, wishing there were someone nearby so he could lean over and say, _that's my girlfriend. _It was obvious that out of all of her other commitments, this was the one she put her heart into.

She met him outside after her rehearsal, wearing a gray jacket that he'd let her borrow once and some leggings over her ballet clothes. She was carrying a heavy looking book bag over one shoulder and a duffel bag which must have held her clothes over the other, both of which Carlos took from her as they walked toward her car together.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, rubbing the spot where the strap had dug into her skin.

"Sure thing. You looked great up there," Carlos told her, taking her hand casually and lacing his fingers with hers.

"Please. I kept missing my turn."

"You're crazy, it was perfect."

He tossed her bags into the backseat, but before she could open the driver's side door, he surprised her by pressing her up against the body of the car and stealing a kiss. She was taken aback momentarily but smiled into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you saw it) before they got too heated, they were interrupted by the sound of catcalls and whistles directed at them from a few rows away. Carlos pulled away from Anya, letting her move off the side of the car and turned to see who was making the noise. Kendall, Derek, and Scott, were making their way to Derek's and Scott's cars, their backpacks and lacrosse gear in tow, having just returned from their game.

"Get a room," Kendall called out to his friend.

"This guy bothering you, Anya?" Scott asked with a joking grin, cracking his knuckles and flexing, as if to threaten Carlos, like he didn't know they'd been dating for nearly two months now.

"Shut up," she told him, rolling her eyes at his overprotective big brother act. "How was the game?"

"Easy win," Scott shrugged. "Derek here must be on steroids. He was unstoppable tonight."

"Just doing my job," Derek replied nonchalantly.

"Well, keep playing like that and you'll be a lock for captain next year."

"So what are you guys up to tonight?" Carlos asked.

"Dunno," Scott answered. "I heard some sophomores are having a party out on Vista Ridge. We could check that out."

As the group mulled over what to do, Anya's phone rang from the pocket of her jacket, and the boys lowered their voices politely so she could hear. She frowned when she looked at the screen.

"It's Luke," she said, her brows knit together in confusion. "Why would he be calling me?"

Kendall glanced at Derek at the mention of Luke's name, but he showed no reaction.

"Hello? Luke?... Luke, slow down, I can't understand you." Anya listened for a moment and her face paled. "Oh my God. Is she okay?... Look, calm down! …No, I'm glad you called. Okay. We'll be there soon, okay? Okay. Bye."

"What happened?" Derek asked instantly. His head had snapped up at the question "is she okay?" and his eyes bore into hers.

"It—it's Holly," she said, her voice shaky. "She's in the hospital. She—Derek, she overdosed again. We have to get there. Now." She pulled out her car keys and promptly dropped them, her hands were shaking so badly.

Carlos picked them up for her. "I'll drive," he said, seeing her start to panic.

"Holy shit," Scott breathed.

Derek hadn't moved. Kendall shook his shoulders to snap him out of his daze. "Come on, Derek! We have to go!"

Derek swallowed and nodded, gripping his own keys in his hand. Kendall quickly dumped all of their stuff in the back and climbed into the Jeep. Scott threw his own belongings into the backseat of his car and followed suit, bringing up the rear of their small caravan.

Carlos drove with one hand all the way to hospital, Anya gripping his other one tightly. They didn't speak much, both too tense to try to make conversation. They met the other boys at the front entrance, practically sprinting up to where Luke had directed Anya on the phone. The group burst into the waiting room to find Luke sitting in there alone, staring at the floor with his head in his hands.

"Where is she?" Derek demanded.

"They admitted her," Luke replied flatly. "I don't know anything yet."

Derek grabbed Luke by the shirt collar, forcing him to stand. "What the fuck happened? What did you do?"

Luke shoved him off. "It was an accident! I didn't know she was already wrecked, she seemed fine!"

Anya put a hand on Derek's arm, trying to get him to calm down. "Derek, you have to chill. This isn't helping."

Derek let go of Luke, who took a couple of steps backwards. Derek moved to turn his back, but not before aiming a punch at Luke's face, landing on his left eye. Luke staggered back but stayed on his feet, and to his credit, did not try to retaliate.

A doctor came in just then, and luckily didn't seem to notice anything was wrong. "Are you here for Holly Newman?"

"Yes," Derek answered for them. "How is she? Is she okay?"

"She's in serious condition right now. The nurses are working on pumping her stomach, and she'll be unconscious for the rest of the night most likely. It's hard to say how she's doing because we haven't gotten the results of her blood test back yet. We don't know how much of the toxin has already been absorbed into her system."

"When can we see her?"

"Not for a while, I'm afraid. We need to stabilize her and observe her condition before we can allow visitors. You're all very lucky she didn't die immediately," he said sternly. "It's not my job to lecture you, but I hope you know how grave this is. We don't at this time have any reason to believe this happened on purpose, but if we did, or if we discover later that this was the case, she'd be moving to the Psych ward. The only reason I'm telling you this is because we couldn't reach her parents."

"We understand," Derek whispered.

"I hope you do," the doctor said. He left without another word, leaving the six teens to wait.

"This is all your fault," Derek said to Luke once the doctor was out of earshot.

He didn't try to deny it. "I fucked up. Do you think I don't know that?"

"I don't think you do!" Derek yelled. "She might die, you asshole! And I swear to God, if—"

"Derek," Anya said softly. "It's gonna be okay."

Her voice seemed to calm him slightly and he let her lead him over to a chair across the room from Luke. She held his hand tightly and they didn't say any more.

Kendall and Carlos couldn't help but feel like they were intruding on a private moment. They didn't even know Holly, not really, but they couldn't just leave. Derek had become one of Kendall's best friends, and Carlos wouldn't leave Anya here alone.

The long minutes stretched into an hour, then two. It was nearing midnight and they still hadn't heard anything else from Holly's doctor. Scott's phone rang and he exited the room to talk.

"I have to go," he said when he came back in. "My mom's flipping shit, I'm supposed to be grounded. Call me when you find out something, okay?"

Derek nodded silently and Anya stood up to hug him goodbye. Mere minutes after he left, a nurse came into the room.

"Your friend's still not awake, but she's stable now," she told the group. "It looks like she's going to be okay. I can let you see her now, but only two at a time."

Both Derek and Luke jumped up immediately, glaring at each other.

"I'll go," Anya said, standing up before either of them could say anything. "You two need to figure your shit out before either one of you goes in there. This is not about you." She took Carlos' hand and they both followed the nurse out.

Kendall watched as Derek and Luke stared at each other for a long moment.

"Tell me something," Derek said finally. "Just one thing. Was it really an accident? Or did she do it on purpose?"

Luke did not meet his gaze. "I don't—I don't know. I think it was an accident, but she's been different for the last couple of weeks, she won't talk to me."

"Well why would she?" Derek said, his voice rising again. "Never bothered to talk to her before, did you? Why start now? Don't act like you suddenly care about her!"

"No! Don't you act like you know how I fucking feel, McKinney!" Luke snarled, raising his voice right back at Derek. "Do you really think I don't understand how fucked up this is? I thought if I waited for her to come to me she'd talk! So I didn't push her. But that's not what she wanted me for. It never was."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means it was you!" Luke said, kicking over a chair. "It was always you. She doesn't want me. Never did."

"So then why-?"

"Because you made her feel things she didn't want to feel. I don't make her feel that way. I don't make her feel at all. Holly doesn't care about me. She loves you."

Kendall watched the anger fade from Derek's face. He didn't particularly like Luke, but a small part of him did feel bad for the boy. Luke had tried so hard to make it look like nothing bothered him, like everything was a big joke, and his shell was finally starting to crack. Still, Kendall couldn't muster up too much sympathy for him. Too much had happened. He'd spent too long watching Derek watch the two of them together.

When Carlos and Anya came back, Luke looked up. He gazed at Derek for a long moment before heading out the door, but instead of turning down the hall toward Holly's room, he went towards the exit.

"She's awake," Anya said softly. "She asked for you."

"Go," Kendall told him, nudging him toward the door. "I'll get a ride with them."

"She's gonna be okay," Carlos said to Kendall when Derek had gone. "They're gonna keep her overnight to make sure, and they have her on an IV to clean whatever she took out of her system."

Suddenly they were all exhausted. "Let's go home," Anya said, taking her keys back from Carlos.

* * *

><p>The next evening, the boys pulled up to the party for Hollywood Teen Beat, not sure what to expect. It seemed a little trivial now, given what had happened the night before. But, they made a commitment, and there was really nothing else they could do for Holly.<p>

There was a red carpet all lined up for the event, complete with photographers and reporters shouting questions at them as they made their way into the party. There were a ton of people there, from singers and actors to the hottest directors and producers around. Logan wondered if this was really a party, or just an excuse for talent and scouts to network and try to find ways to work together. If that were the case, it wouldn't do them much good. As long as they were under contract with Rocque Records, they weren't allowed to collaborate with any other producers without Griffin's permission. And it would be hard to obtain permission from someone who was pretending like you didn't exist.

The boys walked around the party, stopping occasionally to answer questions from random interviewers, or taking pictures with whatever celebrity happened to be walking by, providing photo-ops for the teen magazines that were also present.

It wasn't until someone shouted, "Why don't you take a picture with your old friend?" that they looked over and saw Camille standing a few feet away talking to someone they didn't know. She hadn't seen them yet.

"Camille?" Logan called.

She looked around, trying to see who had said her name. Finally she caught sight of her friends. "Logan! Hey, guys!"

"I didn't know you were going to be here," Logan said as Camille hugged him lightly. He must have missed her name on the guest list.

They all posed quickly for the photographer who had wanted their picture. Carlos and James spotted the food table and wandered off with Kendall in tow, leaving Logan and Camille to walk around aimlessly by themselves.

"So how are you?" Camille asked him.

"Exhausted," he said truthfully. "We had exams this week. I think I've slept about four hours a night or less for the past six days. I have to warn you, I could pass out at any second."

"I'll keep that in mind," she responded wryly. "But I know how you feel. We wrapped up filming for the show, and for the last couple of weeks we'd be on set until 3 AM almost every night. My dad started not believing me. He thought I was spending every night over at JT's apartment."

"Heh," Logan chuckled awkwardly. He knew she was still with JT. That didn't mean he wanted to hear about him. "How is JT?" He was too polite for his own good.

Camille's eyes clouded briefly. "He's…fine," she said unconvincingly.

Logan couldn't stop himself from snorting. "For such a good actress, you're a pretty suckish liar," he told her bluntly. "What's really going on?"

"You really want to know about my boyfriend issues?" She raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. "After everything that's happened between us?"

"You're still my friend, Camille," he replied. "Just because we happen to be seeing other people doesn't mean I'm not interested in your life."

"Okay," she exhaled slowly. "He got a part in a movie. He's filming it right now."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"It is. Except that he's filming in Toronto. He's been gone a month already, and he still has to be there another eight weeks. And we thought it'd be okay, like twelve weeks won't be that bad right? But it totally is. I know he's busy, and I feel really petty for being upset, but we haven't been talking much at all for last week or so, and whenever we do, it's for like, five minutes."

"I—oh. That does suck," Logan said.

"It's just so different because we we're so used to seeing each other constantly, that not seeing each other at all is making things really hard, and I'm really proud of him for landing a movie role, because that's so awesome and he totally deserves it, I just really miss him and wow, I have rambled way past your threshold for caring about this. Sorry." She rattled off everything in one breath, inhaling deeply when she was done speaking.

"It's okay," Logan laughed. "You sound like you needed to get that off your chest."

"I did. Thanks." She took a sip of the water she was drinking just to have something to do while she thought of what to say next. "So. Word on the street is you and Carlos are getting pretty serious with those girls from your school."

"Uh… I don't know about that," Logan said slowly. "Well, Carlos maybe."

"Not you?"

"Hannah's really great," he said quickly. "I really like her, don't get me wrong. I, um, I just don't know if we're all that serious."

Camille felt they were kind of getting into dangerous territory here—delving into their romantic lives when they had so much history between them was probably not a great idea. So she steered the conversation elsewhere, getting him to talk more about school and the new friends they'd made, and she told him more about her upcoming acting jobs.

They found the rest of the boys again, who were by that time getting bored of the whole event, especially without Kelly or Gustavo around to force them into meeting producers and songwriters.

"You ready to jet, Loges?" Kendall asked.

"Sure," he replied. "Are you here alone?" He looked over at Camille, waiting for a response.

"No, all my castmates are around here somewhere, and my agent will definitely be dragging me around to meet with some directors. I'll be fine, you guys go ahead."

The guys bid her farewell and headed for the door, but Logan hung back for a second. "So, if you're not too busy with work… we should hang out again. Really catch up."

"Oh…" Camille hesitated. Would that really be a good idea? They were just friends, though. What could it hurt? "Yeah, that sounds good. Do you want to do lunch tomorrow?" Lunch would be safe.

"Cool. See you."

"Yeah. See you."

* * *

><p>The next day, Logan called Hannah to let her know about his plan to meet up with Camille. He didn't know why he felt nervous about telling her, like she'd be mad that he was hanging out with her. But it was just a lunch date—er, a lunch meet up (he probably should not use the word 'date') with an old friend. Totally innocent.<p>

Hannah picked up the phone before Logan had completely formulated what he was going to say.

"_Hey, Logan!" _

"Hey, Han," he said, trying to sound casual.

"_What's up?"_

"I, uh, just wanted to let you know that I'm having lunch with Camille today. It's not a big deal, I just thought you should know," he added. "In case you see pictures online or something."

"_Camille? Your ex-girlfriend?" _

"Yeah. Is that okay?" _Rookie mistake, Logan. Don't ask permission. _

"_Well, yeah, I guess so. You guys are just friends, right?" _

"Of course."

"_Okay. So have fun. Call me later?" _

"Sure thing. Talk to you later."

Logan hung up and tossed the phone onto his bed, surprised at how well that had gone. Hannah hadn't seemed concerned at all. Then again, why should she? Things were great between them, they had a lot of fun together, and he'd never given her a reason to be jealous. Of course, that might have been because between Camille's filming schedule and Logan being busy with school, they hadn't had much time to talk, much less see each other.

He and Camille decided to hang out in the Palm Woods park, getting a casual lunch at a small sandwich place around the corner from the apartment building. People waved at them as they walked, kids who recognized Logan from when he'd lived there. No one looked surprised to see the two of them together. Logan didn't know how to feel about that.

There were paparazzi hanging around outside the restaurant, following them obnoxiously as they walked down the street, trying to get them to say something for the camera.

"What's going on with the band, Logan?"

"Camille, what can fans expect to see from you now that you're done filming your show?"

"Are you two dating again?"

Logan and Camille had been ignoring the photographers up to that point. "We're just friends," Camille told them with a smile.

"Not for long, from what I've heard about you two."

Logan rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Camille's back to guide her away from the smarmy guys, cringing inwardly when he realized they'd just take pictures and make up their own trashy captions to sell to whatever tabloids would pay them.

"The one downside to this job," Logan remarked. "Have they been bothering you a lot?"

"It's gotten a lot worse in the last few weeks. The show's ratings are still climbing, so I feel like I'm always being watched. Last weekend they followed me around while I was trying to shop for underwear. One guy even threw out some opinions on things I picked up. Like, how gross is that?"

"Pretty gross," Logan agreed, clearing his throat and trying not to picture Camille browsing through aisles of lacey material. That was _not _friends-only appropriate. Not at all.

As they walked and chatted, getting a chance to really catch up on each other's lives, Logan found that they easily fell into their old banter, laughing and teasing each other. He had to mentally check himself before he threw an arm around her shoulder or took her hand lightly. He was annoyed at himself for how easy he found it to drop back into their familiarity. He had a girlfriend who was perfectly nice. Hannah was sweet and pretty and she got his sense of humor—she was everything he thought he could want in a girlfriend.

So why, he wondered, did spending time with Camille suddenly make him feel that something was missing?

* * *

><p><strong>Weee. I know a ton of you guys have been waiting patiently for Camille to come back into the picture, and here she is! Thanks for bearing with me on the Camille-Logan-Hannah love triangle. I told you guys I had a master plan! Everything will be resolved soon.<strong>

**Which brings me to this: things are starting to wind down and wrap up with this story. I'm working on laying everything out, and as it stands now, I'm anticipating about 4-5 more chapters until it's complete. So thanks so much to everyone who's stuck with this since June, when I posted the first chapter. I wouldn't have made it this far without y'all. **

**Ha, Q- Yes! I meant it. You've been awesome for leaving me such detailed reviews and letting me know what you think is working and what you've been iffy on. Definitely appreciate it; you and my other constant reviewers have been the ones to keep me on track and make sure everything that happens has a purpose.**

**Thanks for reading everyone! Be sure to leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	21. Which to Bury Us or the Hatchet?

**Quick review response to my anon! Q- Thanks! Your powers of deduction are impressive; I'm glad you pick up on the little bits of foreshadowing. And I'm glad you feel that way about James/Michelle—I've always wanted them to be conflicting to read about. We know it's wrong, **_**they **_**know it's wrong, but it just feels right for them to be together. It's a dilemma. And Lomille…I've been putting them through the ringer in this story, poor babies. So much emotional distress. But it's just so fun to write **

**As for the rest of you… You guys are not gonna like me after this chapter… Leave me your hate in a review?**

* * *

><p>Chapter 21: Which to Bury; Us or the Hatchet?<p>

_And even though I'm angry, I can still say,  
>I know my heart will break the day<br>When you peel out and drive away.  
>I can't believe this happened.<em>

_And all this time I never thought  
>That all we had would be all for naught<em>

* * *

><p>"You haven't called me in three days and that's seriously the first thing out of your mouth?...I'm not dodging your question, I'm legitimately shocked. How could you ask me that?... You're supposed to trust me, that's what you're supposed to do!...Oh my God, no! Of course not, it was just lunch!... You knew he was my friend, I don't understand why you're so upset… You're being ridiculous. There's nothing going on… Of course I promise… Okay… It's fine…Yes… So, how are y—oh. Okay… No, I understand…Bye."<p>

Camille threw her phone down on the bed, wiping away the angry tears that pricked at her eyes. She hadn't heard from her boyfriend in days, and now when he finally decided to call her, it was to accuse her of cheating on him. She'd told him about her history with Logan—he knew there was nothing going on between them anymore. Since he'd moved out of the Palm Woods, they barely even spoke to each other! And then, as soon as she'd convinced JT she was innocent, he suddenly had to go. Awesome.

The knock on the apartment door pulled her out of her frustrated musings. This was ironic. JT _would _call to accuse her of being too close with Logan only mere moments before Logan actually showed up at her apartment.

"Hey," she said brightly, putting her acting skills to work when she answered the door.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Logan looked concerned. "You look like you've been crying."

"It's nothing," she lied. "I got turned down for a part."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she said. "Who knew it would still suck so much, right? You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Are you ready to go?"

"Sure," Logan said, frowning at her back while she looked around for her purse. He hadn't missed the way she didn't make eye contact with him.

Guitar Dude had auditioned to be part of a backup band for a new singer who was playing a small show near the Palm Woods, so the pair had decided to go check it out in support of their friend. Guitar Dude was right at home in the band of mellow surfer-type guys, and the crowd swayed lazily with the laid back music. It was fun, but it was making Logan sleepy. He'd had another late night trying to finish an essay for AP History. He yawned and closed his eyes, and Camille poked him in the side.

"You're sleep-standing," she giggled. "Let's get some coffee."

"Good idea," Logan said, blinking rapidly a few times. It was still fairly early, but the sun had already gone down because of how late in the year it was.

They walked back to the Palm Woods in comfortable silence, but Logan noticed that Camille still had that kind of faraway, sad look on her face that hadn't completely faded since she'd first opened the door to him.

"Can I ask you something?" she questioned out of the blue.

Logan nodded.

"Hannah really doesn't mind you hanging out with me?"

"Nah. She's busy with swim team these days," Logan replied. "She knows we're friends. Why?"

"I sort of got in a fight with JT earlier. Right before you came over, actually," she admitted. "That's the real reason I'd been crying. He… he saw the pictures from when we had lunch the other day, and he called me to ask if I'd been cheating on him."

"What? Really?"

"I don't know if it's just the stress from his role, or because the distance thing is getting to him, but he's never just, not trusted me before. I think," she hesitated before plunging ahead with the rest of her sentence. "I think I told him too much about you. He knows about our past or whatever, and I think he thinks I compare him to you."

She kicked a pebble that was in her path as they walked up to the front entrance of the Palm Woods. She didn't add that, however ashamed of it she was, she sometimes _did _compare her boyfriend to Logan.

Logan held the door open for her, following her inside to walk her up to her apartment, processing what she'd said.

"It doesn't freak her out that we do things alone?" Camille asked after a moment.

"I mean…she's not, like, ecstatic about it," Logan said truthfully. "But she trusts me, I guess. She knows she doesn't have anything to worry about."

Logan shoved his hands into his jean pockets, seeing a tinge of blush on Camille's cheeks as her eyes met his. Camille dropped her keys and she and Logan bent to get them at the same time, so that his hand covered hers. They stood up slowly, facing each other, Logan's hand still holding onto Camille's.

"I should go—"

Before he could stop himself, Logan tugged on her hand, pulling her in closer to him. He leaned in and kissed her, before she could say anything else, catching her off guard. Catching himself off guard, if he was honest. She kissed him back briefly, gripping his shoulder tightly before coming to her senses and pushing Logan away.

"No," she said, her eyes wide. She touched her fingertips to her mouth, shaking her head back and forth. "No, no, no, we can't."

"I—I'm sorry," he said quickly.

Camille fumbled with her keys, trying to unlock the apartment door. "I have to—"

"I didn't mean to—"

"I know! It's okay. It's fine. You better go." She went inside and shut the door in his face, leaving him to stand in the brightly lit hallway with his heart racing, wondering what he'd just done.

When he got back home, Logan burst into the game room, where the other three boys were bickering over what channel to watch. They all froze when they saw him, matching looks of concern on their faces.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Carlos said. "Are you okay?"

"No!" Logan yelped, his voice panicky. "I did a bad thing! This is so not good, what was I thinking? I wasn't thinking at all! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He paced the room nervously.

"Logan, chill," Kendall said, shaking Logan by the shoulders. "What happened? What did you do?"

"I kissed Camille!" Logan blurted.

Carlos and James both gasped from the couch.

"What?"

"No way!"

"How did it happen?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know! We were just talking and I just did it! What am I going to do? What am I gonna tell Hannah?"

"Maybe… you don't need to tell her," James said.

"What? I have to tell her!" Logan exclaimed. "I can't just not tell her!"

"Think about it," James reasoned. "Do you want to break up with her?"

"Well, no. I don't know! I didn't mean for it to happen! I didn't think about doing it until I did it!"

"And if you tell Hannah you kissed Camille, what do you think is gonna happen? She's gonna be hurt that she trusted you to hang out with your ex-girlfriend, and you went behind her back and kissed another girl. It won't matter that it was an accident."

"I don't know, James. I don't think lying is the best way to go here," Carlos said uncomfortably.

"All I'm saying is, you shouldn't tell her if it's just out of guilt, unless you're looking for a way out of the relationship. If the kiss really didn't mean anything, all you're gonna do is ruin a good thing. You'd only be telling her to make yourself feel better."

"Maybe you're right…" Logan said slowly. "It was a stupid mistake, right? There's no reason to hurt Hannah over it. I mean, it'll never happen again…"

"Did Camille say anything?" Carlos wanted to know.

Logan shook his head. "She just said 'no' a bunch of times and slammed the door in my face."

"Do you think she'll tell her boyfriend?" Kendall asked.

"I have no idea," Logan said. "When I got there she had just gotten off the phone with JT, and I could tell she'd been crying. Later on she told me that he had seen the pictures of us hanging out and accused her of cheating on him."

The boys all glanced around awkwardly, no one wanting to point out that apparently JT had had just cause to be jealous.

At school the next day, Logan did his best to act natural, but he could tell Hannah thought he was behaving strangely.

"Hey," she said, tugging on his wrist just before they entered the cafeteria. "Are you okay? You've been jumpy today."

Logan forced himself to breathe normally and meet her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine," he told her. "Just tense. I'm, uh, worried about my group project for History." He hated how easily the lie came to him. Though, it was partially true—he _did _have a group project. That just wasn't what was making him so nervous.

"Isn't Kendall in that class with you?"

"Yeah, but he's not in my group."

"Oh," Hannah said with a slight frown. "Are you sure that's all that's bugging you?"

"Yep," he replied, smiling down at her. "You know me. Over achieving nerd."

His act worked. She took his hand as they walked up to their usual table. He didn't feel very relieved about it.

* * *

><p>Logan lay in bed that afternoon, paging through a book he was supposed to be reading for English. His brain was refusing to take in anything he was reading, and he realized he'd gone over the same paragraph five times without absorbing any information. Frustrated, he threw the book down on the floor, punching a number on his speed dial and holding the phone to his ear before he even realized what he was doing.<p>

Camille picked up on the sixth ring, the one right before it would have gone to voicemail.

"_Hello?" _Her voice sounded flat, emotionless. Logan wished he could see her facial expression.

"Oh. Uh. Hi," Logan said awkwardly. He had no idea why he was calling her.

"_Hi…" _

"Um…How are you?" he asked.

"_Fine," _she said.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night," Logan apologized. "I just…wasn't thinking. It was stupid, and it won't happen again."

"_Okay." _

"Okay? Is that all you're gonna say?"

"_What else do you want me to say?" _Camille said after a short pause.

"I don't know. Tell me what you're thinking! Are you mad at me? Are you going to tell JT?"

"_I already did." _

"What? You did? What did he say? What did _you _say? How did he take it?" Logan sat up quickly, surprised, the questions tumbling from his mouth one after the other.

Camille didn't say anything, but he thought he heard her sniffle a little bit.

"Camille?"

"_He—he broke up with me." _

Logan didn't know what to say. "I…" He started. But there was no way to finish. There was nothing he could do or say to make it right, and he knew it. "I'm really sorry," he said again. "This is my fault, he shouldn't have blamed you for it."

"_It's my fault too," _Camille said quietly. _"I should have known better than to put myself into that situation." _

"What do you mean?"

"_I mean that we shouldn't be alone together, Logan. We can't seem to control ourselves around each other. It's just not a good idea. Not with everything that's happened between us, and especially not while you have a girlfriend." _

"So, what? You don't want to hang out anymore?"

"_I don't think so. Not until you figure out what you really want."_

"I want us to be friends!"

"_Logan, are you serious right now? Or are you really just that naïve? You and I can't __**be**__ friends. It's never going to work out. All we do is end up hurting each other. I don't want that anymore."_

"Camille—"

"_I gotta go, Logan." _

The line went dead without another word from either of them, and Logan stared down at his phone in disbelief at what had just happened. He felt like he'd just been broken up with. He aimed a frustrated kick at his nightstand and wondered why things could never just work out the way he planned them to. He was supposed to apologize to her for the kiss, and she was supposed to agree that it wouldn't happen again, and they could go back to being friends.

Well, she _had _agreed on that. It wouldn't happen again, that was for sure. But where did they stand now? He refused to believe that Camille honestly didn't want to be his friend anymore. But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. The guilt weighed on him, filling his chest with an uneasy pressure. That was two relationships he'd inadvertently screwed up for her because he couldn't keep himself in check. But he wasn't doing it on purpose! Despite all the drama, all he ever wanted was for them to figure out a way to be friends with each other.

Now it seemed they never would.

* * *

><p><em>Make your decision, don't you dare think twice<br>__Go with your instincts along with some bad advice  
><em>_This didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all  
><em>_You blame me, but some of this is still your fault_

* * *

><p>Thursday night was the final dress rehearsal for Romeo and Juliet. The set looked awesome, all the props and costumes were great, everyone knew their lines, and the tech crew knew all their cues for lighting and scene changes. It had taken weeks and weeks of preparation, but everything had come together, and everyone was really excited about opening night.<p>

Normally after rehearsal, James would have left with Michelle and gone to her place before heading home, but on that particular night, it happened to be Michelle and Nathan's anniversary. Michelle was more subdued than usual, refusing to acknowledge James' attempts to engage her, claiming that she was just tense because of the play.

"Come on," James scoffed. "You know the whole thing backwards. What's the matter?"

She didn't answer, merely continuing to clean the stage makeup off her face without looking up at James, who had already changed back into his regular clothes. There were a lot of people still hanging around the actors' studio, putting away costumes and props and taking last minute pictures together, so no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't just lean down and kiss the top of her head and ask her what was really wrong, or stroke the side of her face until she smiled softly and took hold of his hand. Instead, he leaned casually against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, looking disinterested in their conversation. To anyone passing by, they would have looked like they were chatting about the weather.

"I have to go home and get ready for my date with Nathan," she told him. James hated the look of pity he saw in her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She wanted to kiss him goodbye, or hold his hand as they walked to the car together, but it was impossible with so many people still around. Michelle stood up and gathered her things, flashed him a smile he could tell was fake (her real smiles were reserved for when they were alone), and headed out the door without a glance back. James forced himself no to react as he watched her go.

Michelle didn't call or text him that night, and James tried not to think about how it was probably because she was still with Nathan. Thinking about her being with _him_ made him feel slightly sick. He didn't want to imagine Nate kissing her or touching her the way he himself did, but he couldn't stop himself. It was their anniversary, after all. Nate probably had some ridiculously fancy and romantic evening planned, and then he'd take Michelle back to his place and… James wrenched himself from those musings and decided to go run on the treadmill in Gustavo's indoor gym. Maybe exercise would distract him.

The next day at school, James didn't have a chance to talk to Michelle all day. By the time he arrived to their Drama class, Mrs. Franks had already pulled her aside for some last minute notes and direction for the play, which opened that night. She and Nate didn't show up to lunch, and then the long line in the boys' bathroom made him late for English (a class he and Michelle shared with Logan and Anya), where they had already been assigned partners to peer-edit essays and so were working in silence when he entered the room.

After school, they both had to get straight to the Drama department to put on their costumes and get into makeup in preparation for opening night. When he was dressed and ready to go, he went into the actors' studio and found Anya helping Michelle do her makeup, applying more eyeliner and blush to Michelle's face so she wouldn't get washed out by the lights. From across the room, the two girls seemed to be having a serious conversation, as Michelle was shaking her head and Anya had a look of concern mixed with sympathy on her face.

"Hey," he said, walking up to the pair of girls. Anya excused herself so the two could talk alone. The room was empty for now, but James wasn't foolish enough to try anything with Michelle at school again, not since Anya had walked in on them that day. They'd both realized it was far too easy to get caught up and not pay attention to their surroundings.

"Are you alright?" he asked, seeing the look on her face. He tried to read her expression, but he couldn't tell what she was thinking. All he knew was that whatever that look was, it filled him with dread.

"We need to talk," she said finally. "But not now. Not here."

"What's wrong?"

"Please," she begged. "Not now."

"Michelle, just tell me what's going on. You're scaring me."

"Damn it, James, just let it go for once! I don't want to do this here." She brought her left hand up to her face to brush some hair away from her eyes.

"What is _that_?" James asked, catching her wrist harshly. His eyes were locked onto her hand and she tried to pull it from his grasp, but he refused to let go.

On her fourth finger rested a beautiful silver diamond ring. It wasn't huge or gaudy, but James could tell that it must have been more expensive than he could even imagine. James stared down at it, blinking rapidly, thinking that maybe if he blinked hard enough, the ring would suddenly not be there the next time he opened his eyes.

"James—"

"So, I take it your date went well last night," he said, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

"Please don't be like that," she whispered.

"Like what?" he asked with mock ignorance. "Am I supposed to be happy for you? Should I be congratulating you on your engagement? Have you already decided on the big day? Picked your bridesmaids dresses?"

"Don't," Michelle said again. "It's not an engagement ring. Not really."

"Then what is it, really?"

"It's just a gift, James!"

"A gift that you're wearing on your wedding ring finger."

Michelle looked away. "You have no right to be mad at me," she murmured. "You knew this was coming. From the very beginning, I told you what it was like with me and Nathan."

"So what's it like with you and Nathan now? Tell me what that ring really means to you," James demanded.

"It's a just a… promise ring."

"A promise ring," he repeated. "How is that really different from an engagement ring? I'm dying to know."

"Don't act so surprised," Michelle spat, growing angry at his tone. "I've never hidden anything from you! Not about my family, or about my boyfriend, or about my future. You pursued _me, _remember? You kissed _me_! You were the one who wouldn't leave me alone when you knew I was with Nate!"

"Oh, please!" James said, raising his voice right back at her. "You wanted this just as much as I did, and don't try to deny it. It's not my fault you don't have the balls to stand up to your father and break up with your boyfriend!"

"James, where did you see this going? Did you think one day I'd wake up and just be okay with my parents hating me? Were you thinking I'd change my mind about staying with Nathan? You and I were never going to last, it's what I've been trying to make you understand the whole time! Why do you think I told you to keep your emotions out of it?"

"_My _emotions? What about your emotions?" James asked. "How good a job did _you_ do of keeping them out if it?"

Michelle just gazed at him. "Better than you," she said softly, her voice eerily steady.

She might as well have slapped him for all his expression said. After everything they'd been through, everything they'd told each other, she was really going to act like he meant nothing to her?

"You—you're lying," James said, not letting his voice crack. "I know you are. You can't honestly expect me to believe you don't have feelings for me."

She didn't deny it. But she didn't cave in, either. She'd been too weak where James was concerned. She let him get close to her, she let herself fall for him too, and now they were both paying for it. She had to end it once and for all, before she ruined him beyond repair. As much as she wanted his pain not to be her fault, she knew it was. She couldn't break his heart by leaving him, but she _could _get him to leave her. She could make him hate her.

"I don't know what else you want me to say. You knew what the deal was: find a way to be okay with it, or walk away now. I gave you plenty of opportunities to back out; you should have taken them if you didn't like what was happening," Michelle said harshly, wondering whether it would hurt more if he took her bait or if he saw through her act.

James wanted to be okay with it. He'd been telling himself for so long that it didn't matter, that as long as he got to be with her, he could pretend Nathan wasn't in the picture. He'd focused so much on fooling the both of them into thinking that what they were doing was okay that he hadn't let himself think about what would happen when it suddenly _wasn't _okay. He'd been in denial too long. And now there was a ring on her finger, and it would always just be another reminder that she didn't belong to him, that she never had and never _would. _He wouldn't be able to take seeing it on her every time they were together, mocking him.

"No," he said finally. "You don't get to make me feel like it's all me that's keeping us together. You say you still love him, and yet you're with me. You can't have it both ways anymore. Eventually _you_ have to make a choice."

Michelle snorted maliciously, hating herself for it. "Have you not learned anything the whole time we've been together? You don't want me to make that choice, James," she said coldly. "It'll be him."

"Then I guess that's it, isn't it?" He asked, laughing bitterly. "I'm done trying to convince you... I'm done with you."

People were starting to trickle into the room. It was almost time for pre-show vocal warm-ups. No one seemed to notice the pair staring each other down in the corner.

Michelle didn't say anything as he turned his back on her. She didn't trust herself. If she opened her mouth, she'd take it all back.

He'd taken three steps when he looked back over his shoulder. She was still standing in the same spot, her face expressionless, her arms crossed over her chest. "I guess you're a better actress than I realized," he said. "You're really not who I thought you were."

* * *

><p><strong>ROMEO: <strong>_Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much._

**MERCUTIO: **_No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve: ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o' both your houses! … Why the devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm!_

**ROMEO**_**: **__I thought all for the best!_

**MERCUTIO: **_Help me into some house, Benvolio, or I shall faint. A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me._

The boys watched as James lay 'bleeding' on the stage, stabbed to death in a dramatic and highly entertaining sword fight. They definitely did not remember _Romeo and Juliet _being this exciting when they read it freshman year.

James was a natural—you'd think he'd been doing this his whole life. But then again, Kendall reflected, James was always the one who loved performing. It didn't matter in what capacity. He did find it kind of funny though, that James had to lie there, pretending to be dead, while the rest of the scene played out around him. Kendall wondered how hard it was to be so still. If it were him, he'd have wanted to open his eyes and watch what was going on. But James did no such thing. He lay there motionless until his body was dragged off stage, playing the role of the murdered friend perfectly.

When the final curtain was drawn, the audience burst into applause, cheering loudly as the cast reappeared for their bows. Carlos whistled loudly at James, causing the people in their immediate vicinity to chuckle. As the theater began to empty out, the guys all waited outside for James to come out so they could congratulate him on a great opening night.

It was lucky that James was so tall, because the crowd wasn't thinning out at all, as parents and friends of the cast waited for their loved ones to come out. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos made a beeline for James, weaving expertly through the mass of people.

He smiled when he saw them, but something about the way the smile didn't quite reach his eyes made Carlos wonder if something was up. He kept his mouth shut, though, not wanting to call attention to it if it had. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Michelle standing with Nathan and Derek. Nathan had brought her flowers. Carlos made eye contact with her for the briefest of seconds, and her smile faltered until she turned her body so that he could no longer see her face.

"Nice job, buddy," he said brightly, clapping James on the back. "That was a sick death scene."

"Very cool," Kendall agreed.

"Thanks. I'm just glad Tim finally learned all the choreography."

"Do you want us to wait for you?" Logan asked. "Or are you hanging out with cast tonight, or what?"

"One of the seniors is throwing a party for the cast and crew, but I'm not really up for it. Dying takes a lot out of you," he joked, trying not to seem awkward. "Do you mind waiting?"

"No big," Kendall said. "Go get your stuff."

James had to pass Michelle to get back inside, and the two did not even look at each other as he went by.

* * *

><p>Back at home, the boys raided the kitchen for food and headed upstairs, preparing for an all-night Call of Duty session, making a mess of the game room as for first time in quite a while, they had a chance to hang out, just the four of them. James put on a great show of acting like nothing was wrong, and none of the other boys seemed to find his behavior out of the ordinary. He teased Logan like always, competed with Carlos over who could eat the most junk food, and got into an argument with Kendall over what game they would play next.<p>

Finally, sometime between 2 and 3 AM, James had had enough. The guys had distracted him for awhile (which he appreciated, even if they didn't know they were doing it), but he was tired and he wanted to be alone. He went up to his room, putting on some clothes to sleep in, trying and failing not to think about Michelle. He'd gone from angry to upset to bitter to morose over the course of the evening, and now, he was just numb. He wondered if he had done the right thing by walking away from her. It was hard for him to believe that she could be so callous towards him, but in the end she was right. She had never given him false hope that things would change; _he _was the one who always told her it would all work out somehow.

There was a light knock on his door that he didn't bother to answer. His light was on; whoever it was would just come on in. Privacy was practically nonexistent with those boys. Sure enough, Carlos walked in casually and went over to sit in James' desk chair.

"Something you need?" James asked, when Carlos merely continued to sit there, spinning the chair in circles.

"What's up with you?" Carlos wanted to know. "You've been weird tonight."

"Michelle and I ended it," James replied, deciding not to take the trouble to deny something was bothering him.

Carlos nearly fell out of the chair, but James couldn't tell whether it was from shock or dizziness. "What? Why? What happened? Are you okay?"

"Nate gave her a ring," he said simply. "I couldn't do it anymore."

"So… that's it?"

"I guess so. I think… I think I tricked myself into believing she'd break up with Nate for me, and I just flipped when I saw the ring. Even with the whole thing with her parents, I didn't want to believe that she'd pick him over me. But I guess I just realized it wasn't enough having to share her anymore."

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"I don't know," James answered honestly. "It's my fault anyway. I should have backed off after what happened at the photo-shoot. But I didn't and now here we are."

"It's not all your fault," Carlos tried to console him. "You made choices, and so did she."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Kendall was helping Logan try to clear away some of the mess they had left in the game room.<p>

Logan plopped down on the couch when the room looked sanitary again, yawning widely. "Finally. Now I can text Camille goodnight and get some sleep."

Kendall raised an eyebrow and looked up. "Camille?"

"Huh? What about her?"

"You said you had to text Camille goodnight."

"What?" Logan asked, looking confused. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did, Loges."

"Really? That's so weird," Logan frowned. "I meant Hannah. I have to text _Hannah _goodnight."

"What's got you thinking about Camille?" Kendall asked, yawning himself now.

"I don't know," Logan said, looking perplexed. "It was an accident. She's not even speaking to me right now."

"Are things okay between you and Hannah?"

"I'm…not sure," Logan replied slowly. "We were doing great a couple of weeks ago but now… Ever since I kissed Camille, I've been wondering if I'm doing the right thing."

"You mean by staying with her?"

"Yeah."

"So… you want to get back together with Camille?"

Logan sighed. "I'm tired of this back and forth crap. Hannah's really great, but Camille is too. I just wish I could figure out what to do about this."

"Well… think about this. Would you still be having doubts about Hannah if Camille weren't single again?" Kendall reasoned. "You always want what you can't have, Loges, and when you get it, you don't know what to do with it."

_Kendall's right, _Logan thought. If he broke up with Hannah, and things didn't work out with Camille _again, _he would have screwed up any chance he had at finding a successful relationship. He and Camille both had to stop letting each other come between their relationships, or they'd never be happy, and they'd never be able to be friends again.

"I just wish that I could accept that Camille and I aren't gonna work out and stop hoping for things to change, because all it's doing is messing with my head."

"I dunno," Kendall said quietly. "You always have to have hope."

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh! I know this chapter was sad but I actually reeeeeally like how it came out. Anyway, as for what I have outlined for the rest of the story… it looks like two more chapters and an epilogue. I'm freaking out. I don't want it to end! I have absolutely fallen in love with these characters and their stories and I'm going to be so sad when it's done. <strong>

**Please leave me your thoughts and comments! And thanks once again for whoever's been sending me anonymous questions on Tumblr, they make me laugh and I enjoy answering them. Keep 'em coming. **


	22. Bend or Break

**Mild Carlos smut? Okay. I feel like I just stole his innocence. Enjoy. **

**And thank you guys soooo much for your reviews on the last chapter! They definitely gave me the motivation I was needing to pull this chapter out. It was an emotional drain writing this one. **

* * *

><p>Chapter 22: Bend or Break<p>

_Please know you're my only ambition  
>I agree that we needed intermission<br>But one day we're gonna say  
>"We need each other, okay?"<em>

_But I don't think you're gonna change  
>(You better start believing)<br>So, you'll be the one to bend  
>I'll be the one who breaks<em>

* * *

><p>Over the next couple of weeks, James had to watch as Michelle and Nathan went about their business as usual, holding hands under the table at lunch and making out in hallways during breaks. It was torture having to watch the two of them together and act like nothing was wrong. But what made it especially worse was the fact that he knew details about their relationship that no one else did. Everyone knew about the 'arrangement' between the couple's parents, but they had always assumed that if the two teens didn't want to go through with it, they wouldn't really have to. No one but James knew just how trapped they actually felt.<p>

They put on a good show for their friends, tricking everyone into believing their happy couple act. Maybe they were tricking themselves into believing it too. But James knew from his time with her when Michelle was faking happy and when she was being genuine. It was a subtle difference, one that had taken him months to figure out, but he could always tell. He was sure Nathan could tell too, but _he _probably felt just as hopeless as Michelle did. James laughed at himself for this thought. This was the first time he'd ever found himself sympathizing with Nathan. He'd always been regarded as a rival. An enemy.

Even weirder was how James and Michelle had to act around each other. They still had to pretend as if they were buddies, lest anyone become suspicious and ask why they were being so different around each other. James was pretty sure he would have liked nothing more than to avoid Michelle completely until the end of the school year, but sadly this was not an option. The two were forced to be painfully polite to each other, but he hadn't forgiven her for the nasty things she'd said to him. Singing had always been James' passion, but by the end of the third week after they ended things, James felt he could probably easily win an Oscar for how he was coping with everything.

One Tuesday morning James was in the kitchen with Kendall and Katie (they were attempting to make breakfast while waiting for Logan and Carlos to come down for school) when Mrs. Knight came in with a perplexed look on her face.

"Kendall, is something burning..?"

Kendall turned from the pan of bacon he was cooking with a sheepish grin on his face. "We tried not to. Happy birthday, Mom."

"Oh, sweetie! You didn't have to do this!" Mrs. Knight exclaimed, fanning her eyes to dry away the proud tears that had formed there.

"You'll definitely be saying that again when you taste the breakfast," Katie quipped, wrinkling her nose at the smell emanating from the stove area.

Kendall shot her a dirty look but went and gave his mom a hug and a kiss on the cheek, while Katie guided her over to her usual chair at the kitchen table, handing her the newspaper and a mug of coffee. James grinned at Katie behind Kendall's back from his spot behind the counter. He was making the boys' lunches for the day so that Mrs. Knight wouldn't have to. He wasn't paying attention, and accidentally put lettuce on Carlos' peanut butter sandwich. When James looked down and saw what he'd done, he just shrugged and tossed the sandwich into the paper bag anyway.

"Don't worry about anything, Mama Knight," James said with his usual charm. "We're going to take Katie to school today and pick her up, and we're also gonna take your shopping list and go to the grocery store for you. And Logan and Carlos did the laundry last night after you went to bed."

"You boys are so sweet," Mrs. Knight smiled. "Thank you."

"No problem, Mom," Kendall said, sifting through the bacon, trying to find some edible pieces. He pouted slightly, the hunt being futile. "At least the eggs came out alright," he muttered to himself.

Logan and Carlos finally ambled into the kitchen. Logan held a vase of colorful flowers, while Carlos carried a comically large birthday card that the kids had all signed for her.

"Happy birthday, Mrs. Knight!" they said in unison, presenting her with her gifts and leaning in to engulf her in a hug.

"What's that smell?" Logan asked when he stood upright again, sniffing the air. "Did Kendall try to cook again?"

Everyone chuckled at Kendall's expense, who grumbled silently.

"Whatever," Carlos said cheerfully. "I like it burned!" He popped a piece into his mouth, ignoring Logan, Katie, and James' looks of disgust as he chewed the blackened meat.

"Now that you're all here, I do have something to tell you before you head out to school," Mrs. Knight said, sipping her coffee. "John is taking me on a weekend trip up to Portland on Thursday to celebrate my birthday, so you guys will be on your own for a few days."

"Sweet," Katie said.

"Not you," Mrs. Knight informed her. "I talked to Mrs. Wu. You'll be staying with her and Caroline."

"Aw, come on, Mom! I can stay with Kendall!"

Mrs. Knight raised an eyebrow at her. "It's already settled."

"Sorry, Katie," Kendall grinned at his sister. "Guess Mom doesn't trust us to take care of you for a few days. That actually kind of hurts, you know."

"I'm sure you'll live," his mother said, rolling her eyes at her son's melodrama. "And I'm aware that you'll probably ignore this, but I feel obligated as a mother to tell you not to throw a wild party while I'm gone."

"No problem, Mama Knight," Logan said easily. "I'll keep things in check while you're gone."

"Thanks," she smiled at him. "Now, if you're going to drop off Katie, you guys better get going."

* * *

><p>"So, should I start spreading the word about a party on Friday night?" James asked once Katie had gotten out of the car.<p>

"But Kendall's mom—" Logan started exasperatedly.

"Practically gave us permission," James finished for him, interrupting his reprimand. "She said not to throw a _wild _party. She knows we're gonna do it anyway! Might as well go for it and make sure we clean up."

"What do you think, Kendall? Should we do it?" Carlos asked from the backseat.

"Yeah, but you're not allowed to be in charge of the guest list. I don't want you inviting everyone in your entire contacts list again."

"Deal," Carlos shrugged. "I only really want to invite person anyway." He had a goofy smile on his face as he fiddled with a woven bracelet around his wrist that Anya had given him a few days prior.

James pretended to gag and Carlos punched him on the shoulder.

After Drama that day, James fell into step with Michelle as they walked back towards the main building.

"Hey."

"Hi…" She looked up at him curiously. He never spoke to her if could avoid it. They hadn't even been alone together since the fight before the play, and they only ever exchanged words when they were with the group.

"Kendall's mom is going out of town this weekend. We're having a party on Friday night."

They'd made it to the hallway where her classroom was located, but the warning bell hadn't even rung yet, so she paused and turned to face him.

"Is this you inviting me?"

"Well, yeah," James said shortly, a slight edge to his voice. "I can't exactly _not_ invite you. It'd look a little weird."

"Right," she said, laughing mirthlessly. "I appreciate the thought."

"Whatever," James muttered. "Come if you want. Or don't."

"I think it's pretty clear you don't really want me there," Michelle replied coolly. "Enjoy your party. I'm sure I'll find something to do."

"Can you blame me for not wanting you there?" James snorted, not bothering to pretend he wasn't still angry with her. He had to act 24/7 like everything was fine. If he got even just a few moments where he could be truthful, he was going to take them.

Michelle wanted to assure him that he was justified in his feelings, to apologize and let him know that she knew it was her fault, but she had to stay strong. She had done her best to make him want to stay away from her, and it had worked. It was better this way.

"You're right," she said sarcastically. "It's all my fault. I told you to stay away from me from the beginning, and it's somehow _my_ fault you got your heart broken." She rolled her eyes for extra emphasis.

"No," James said bitterly. "It's my fault for believing you when _you_ said you loved me. _You _said it first, Michelle, not me."

"Don't be such a girl about it. Now I know why guys say they never want to hook up with _virgins_," Michelle spat snidely, saying something she knew would hit below the belt.

James felt the back of his neck grow hot, both from anger and embarrassment that she would throw the secret he'd shared with her back in his face like that. He opened his mouth to argue with her some more, but the warning bell had rung and people suddenly filled the hallway they were standing in, brushing past the pair and bumping into them in their efforts to get to class on time. Michelle spun around before he could say anything else and headed off towards her classroom, leaving him in the middle of the hallway. He watched her disappear through the doorway with a scowl on his face, thankful that he had free period now, because if he had had class, he most definitely would have skipped it.

* * *

><p>"You okay, James? You've kinda been looking like you want to kill yourself lately," Logan commented.<p>

The two boys were alone in the game room, with Logan studying as usual, and James lying listlessly on the couch. He knew he'd been moody, but after his slight altercation with Michelle in the hallway two days prior, he couldn't bring himself to put on a happy face. They'd been sitting in silence for nearly an hour, and James had thought Logan had been too preoccupied with his work to notice that he was doing nothing but sulking.

"You don't exactly look like Mr. Sunshine yourself there, Loges," James retorted with a half-smile to let his friend know he was joking. "But then again, how could you, when you have that math book open in front of you like that?"

"You of all people should know that if I look unhappy, it's not because of something as easy as _math,_" Logan teased right back. "But I there _is_ something on my mind, I guess."

"Okay, so spill," James said, sitting up and facing Logan, thankful for the distraction from his own thoughts.

Logan scratched the back of his neck nervously, searching for the words he wanted use.

"Alright, so… You know how I was kind of hanging out with Camille a little? Hannah was really busy with swim team, and I wasn't seeing her a lot anyway. But now Camille says we shouldn't be friends, and between me studying all the time and Hannah's swim practices, we only ever really see each other at school. I still like talking to her and being with her, but sometimes it doesn't feel like we're even dating. And… I don't really know what it is I'm trying to say, except that I didn't expect to miss her so much."

"Well, the semester's almost over," James said. "We'll have winter break, and you and Hannah will be able to see each other more."

Logan shook his head. "I don't mean Hannah's the one I miss."

"Oh...That's understandable," James tried to comfort Logan. "Even without all the weirdness with you guys breaking up, Camille was still one of your best friends… Besides us," he added with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. "But what does that mean for you and Hannah?"

"Nothing," Logan shrugged morosely. "There's nothing between me and Camille, even if I wanted there to be. Hannah's like, the perfect girl on paper. She never pressures me to feel or act a certain way, she's fun, and she doesn't do all the crazy dramatic girl things I've seen other girls do. She's been so awesome to me and feel like a selfish asshole for not being able to stop thinking about Camille."

"She might be the perfect girl on paper, but you can't just talk yourself into liking someone, Loges. Either you feel it or you don't," James stated. "Maybe sometimes being selfish isn't such a bad thing. You have to do what's best for _you_, man. It'll only get worse later."

"But you were the one who told me not to ruin things with her," Logan argued, exasperated. "You were the one who said I shouldn't let a stupid mistake mess things up with my girlfriend!"

"Look, I know I said that," James said uncomfortably, "but… I didn't really mean it. I was just—I was thinking about something that had nothing to do with you. It was stupid. Don't listen to me."

"So what _were_ you thinking about?" Logan shifted his focus from his own problems to James'.

James searched for a way out of the conversation without having to reveal anything important, but as Logan's eyes searched his face for some sign as to what was bothering him, he found that he didn't want to lie anymore. It was getting too hard to keep everything from his best friends. The fact that Carlos knew everything helped, but it had been nearly a full semester of secrecy and sneaking around, and it had taken its toll on James and all the boys. He was tired of pushing his friends out of his life.

"Michelle and I, we, uh… we sort of… were having a thing," James offered lamely, kind of fearing Logan's reaction. It wasn't that he was judgmental of his friends, but he wasn't the voice of reason amongst his friends for nothing. If he felt like something they were doing was wrong, he had no problem letting the others know.

Logan's jaw dropped in surprise. "What? _Michelle_? What kind of thing?"

"We've been…seeing each other I guess, and uh… other things," he said pointedly, hoping Logan would get the hint so he wouldn't have to spell it out.

"When you say 'other things'… Did you… were you two-?"

"Sleeping together, yes," James sighed. He should have known Logan would press the issue until he caved. He had that in common with Kendall. "Or, we were. Until the first night of Romeo and Juliet," James explained.

"But that means she… because you've never… wasn't it-?"

"Yes, Logan, I lost my virginity to her," James said slowly and clearly, so that he would not have to clarify further.

Logan's moral compass was wound a little tighter than the other boys' so his first instinct was to chastise James for his actions, but he refrained. He knew his friend wasn't exactly on good terms with Nathan or anything, but it still seemed a little low for him to have pursued Michelle knowing she had a long term boyfriend. He was also a little offended on Nathan's behalf that James would do this, because he remembered how it had felt when he found out his friend had kissed Camille. He didn't think James would be the type of guy to make the same mistake twice. Part of Logan's relationship with James, however, was knowing when he needed to be told he was out of line (which was often), and knowing when he had already learned his lesson. By the look on his friend's face, and the way he'd been acting this week, Logan could tell that the latter was true.

"How long was it going on?" Logan asked instead.

"We'd been seeing each other ever since that photo shoot, the one right before school started, remember? But-"

"The one where you kissed her and then insisted that nothing was going on?" Logan interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"Er, yeah, that one," James said, somewhat guiltily.

"And no one knows about this?" Logan assumed.

James shifted in his spot and looked away from Logan. "Carlos knows. And Anya."

"You told them?" Logan was a little surprised and a little hurt that James hadn't trusted him and Kendall with the information.

"Well… the night of Homecoming, after you and Carlos got home, I snuck out through Kendall's room to go to Michelle's, and that was when we, you know… for the first time. I came back home in the morning, and then Carlos barged into my room and saw that I had a bruise on my neck and, uh, some marks from her nails," James couldn't help the slight smirk that graced his face. "Anyway, he asked what was going on and I just told him."

"Wow," was all Logan managed, processing everything he'd just been told. "So Carlos told Anya?"

"Nope," James said, surprising Logan again. "Anya walked in on us making out in the actors' studio."

Logan let out a deep breath. "So when you told me that I shouldn't tell Hannah that I kissed Camille…"

"I was just thinking about me and Michelle, because I'd gotten so used to hiding it from everyone, and my automatic response was to tell you to do the same," James confirmed. "And I'm sorry for that… because I think you _know_ what you really want, and you don't need me messing that up for you. Again."

"It's just… I know I should be happy with Hannah. And Camille's already basically told me to fuck off, but things just feel so… off," Logan said.

"Have you tried making a list of pros and cons?" James was being sarcastic but Logan grinned and looked away. "You did, didn't you? Fuckin' nerd. Let me see it," he said, grinning now too.

Logan blushed at being caught—he was so predictable—but he dug in his backpack for the notebook that did in fact have the list he'd made, from which he'd drawn no conclusions. He ripped the sheet of paper out and handed it to James, who perused it studiously for about two and a half seconds. He then looked at Logan, crumpled the paper and threw the wad back at Logan, who only blinked when the ball of paper hit his forehead and bounced off.

"Hey! What did you do that for?"

"Stop being an idiot, Loges. The fact that you even had to make a list should be your first clue. This isn't Honors Physics, or AP English, or Pre-Calculus. It's not something you can calculate. You're not gonna find the answer in a list, because you already _know _the answer. Deep down you've known it for a long time."

* * *

><p><em>-Hey, we're having a party at the mansion tonight. You should come.<em>

Kendall sent a text message from his spot perched on the kitchen counter. A few moments later, he received a response:

_Not sure if that's a good idea._

_-Think about it? It's not a big deal. Promise._

Kendall sent the reply and slipped his phone back into his pocket as Logan watched curiously.

"Who was that?" Logan asked.

"Just Derek," Kendall said easily, making quick eye contact with James, who was standing a few feet away. "I'm making sure him and Scott can get here with the booze before everyone starts showing up."

"If anything gets broken—" Logan sighed.

"It's gonna be fine, Loges, chill. There won't be _that _many people here."

Logan was in the process of hiding away anything fragile while James and Carlos were clearing living room space for makeshift dance floor. They'd made sure the door down to the basement was locked so that no drunken kids could wander into the home studio and ruin one of Gustavo's expensive guitars by throwing up on it. The boys all assured Logan that everything would be fine, but he was a worrier by nature, and had to check and double check that nothing would go wrong at this party.

That night, Derek and Scott did come over a little early to bring the alcohol everyone had chipped in for. The boys laid out bottles of liquor and stored away cases of beer in the fridge, talking about who they'd heard would be coming tonight. Kendall had invited the lacrosse team, knowing they would spread the word to the cheerleaders and thus ensure an appropriate ratio of males to females. James had invited a few of the friends he'd made while working on Romeo and Juliet, and even Carlos and Logan had invited a few friends from class.

By the time people started showing up to the party, Logan had loosened up a little. He was even indulging in a game of beer pong with Carlos against Derek and Scott, who were showing no mercy—you'd think they'd been training for this. After losing three straight games to them, Logan gave up and stumbled to the kitchen to get himself some water, hoping to avoid a hangover the next day. Hannah hadn't shown up yet, but he knew she'd be late because she was coming back from a swim meet at a school about an hour away. He walked through the doorway and stopped short when he saw none other than Camille leaning against the counter, talking with James and Kendall. He wondered if he'd been drinking too much, or if she really was standing there.

"Camille? What are you doing here?"

She looked up at the sound of her name, looking momentarily out of place. "I, um…"

"I invited her," Kendall stepped in quickly. "The more the merrier, right? Hey, James, let's go check on…that thing."

"What th—oh! Right! Yeah. The thing that we talked about. It totally needs to be checked on! We should go do that," James recovered quickly as he and Kendall backed out of the room awkwardly, leaving Logan and Camille alone.

"Are you—are you having fun?" Logan finally asked, after they'd stood there in silence for a few moments.

"Yeah," she replied hesitantly. "This is a really nice house."

There were a lot things running through Logan's mind, a lot of things of he needed to say to her, but as they stood in the kitchen the awkwardness was becoming too much to bear, and it was not helped by the random drunk kids who kept wandering in to get cups or water or retrieve bottles of liquor.

"Right, well… I'll see you around," Camille stuttered, leaving through the doorway.

Logan stayed rooted to the spot, trying to force his brain into some sense of clarity. Scott wandered in and found him standing there.

"You look like you could use a drink," he commented to Logan. He opened a cabinet door where he and Derek had hidden a bottle of rum earlier, pouring a liberal amount into two cups and adding some Coke to both.

"Cheers," Logan muttered, gulping some of it down, not even grimacing at the strong taste of alcohol.

"You cool?" Scott asked. "'Cause you sorta look like someone just ran over your puppy."

"Yeah. Totally fine," he lied, taking another gulp of his drink.

They exited the room together and Logan instantly spotted Camille across the room talking to Carlos now. It looked like he was introducing her to Anya. The two girls shook hands and then Camille said something to Carlos, who pointed to a door nearby.

"Catch you later," Logan said to Scott, making a beeline for Camille, reaching her just before she went through the door.

It was the door to the downstairs bathroom—she must have asked Carlos where it was.

"Camille!"

She turned and found him standing in front of her, and before she could say anything, he pulled her into the empty bathroom and locked the door. They could still hear the muffled sounds of the party as music played and people talked and danced, but with the door closed they could at least hear each other properly.

"Logan? What-?"

Logan cupped her face and bent to kiss her, backing her against the door. Her hand went to his chest, gripping his shirt before she finally applied some pressure and lightly pushed him away.

"What are you doing?" she asked when he broke their contact.

"I need to tell you something," Logan answered. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Camille, and I finally realized why I've been so stupid. I've been waiting, all this time, to feel the way with Hannah what I always felt when I was with you. I don't want to wait anymore."

"Logan… Hannah's a great girl."

"I know she is. That's what's making this so hard. I don't want to hurt her but—"

"Then don't," Camille interrupted, looking miserable even as she said it. "Don't ruin things with her because of some fleeting thought based on you being indecisive."

"This isn't some fleeting thought," Logan argued, taking a step back from her and allowing her to move away from the door. "This is what I really feel! I finally have some clarity! Ever since that fight we had in the park last summer, I've been bouncing around, thinking I could be just friends with you, that I could move on, but I can't."

"You just think it's clarity! All it is, is familiar feelings because we kissed! If you break up with her, you'll regret it. All the reasons we never worked out before will come back to you, and you'll realize you made a mistake," she told him. "You'll remember that I'm ridiculously dramatic Camille, the girl who used to slap you to practice for roles, or kiss you in front of other girls so they'd think you're off limits. You'll remember the girl who kissed your best friend and broke your heart."

"I'm not gonna regret it! Don't you even want to try?" Logan all but pleaded with her to give in.

Camille only shook her head. "I'm tired of us hurting each other."

"But we're past all that now! We've grown up, Camille! We're not the same people we were!"

Camille's hand unlocked the door and twisted the handle as she bit her lip. "Do you really-?"

"Whoops, sorry! Thought it was empty." A girl's voice interrupted them and the door burst open.

Hannah stood frozen in the doorway, looking back and forth between Logan and Camille. They all stood there numbly for a few painful seconds, no one having any idea what to say, knowing what it must have looked like to Hannah to walk in on Logan and Camille locked in the bathroom.

"Hannah—" Logan tried.

"What's going on? What's she doing here?" She questioned.

"Look, we were just… talking," he said lamely.

Camille took this as her cue to exit, slipping past Hannah and disappearing back into the crowd, deciding to leave the party before things got out of hand.

"Just talking?" Hannah repeated. "In the bathroom. With the door locked. How stupid do you think I am, Logan?"

"What? I don't—"

"Then tell me what the hell is really going on! Did something happen between you two? Do you still have feelings for her?"

Logan looked down at the floor guiltily and said nothing. "Right," Hannah said. "Got it." She turned her back and headed back toward the foyer and the front door, where luckily there were no people around, everyone congregating in the living room and kitchen and backyard.

"Hannah, wait."

"Just tell me the truth, Logan. Did something happen?"

"We… I kissed her," Logan admitted.

Hannah blinked back tears, refusing to let them fall. "That's all, right? Just a kiss?"

"Nothing else happened," he assured her. "But… but I don't think anything else can happen between us either."

"But I thought… All this time you've been telling me she was just a friend!"

"I felt that way when I said it," Logan murmured. "I just… Now I'm not so sure about it anymore. And I can't keep going back and forth and just pretend like everything's okay between us. It's not fair to anyone. Least of all you."

A single tear escaped her eye and she let it fall without bothering to wipe it away. "I don't understand what happened," she said, her voice small. "Did I-?"

"You didn't do anything," Logan said gently. "You've been amazing. I'm the one who—"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Hannah interjected. "I really don't want to hear your 'it's not you it's me' speech or whatever else you prepared."

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen," he apologized.

"No one ever does," she said. She opened the front door and stepped through it, and Logan didn't try to stop her.

He wandered back into the party, looking for his friends. James and Kendall had found Carlos and Anya and joined them in a corner of the room, where they sat back and watched as their classmates enjoyed the party. James couldn't help but notice that Nathan was there, hanging out with a group of guys from their class that he wasn't particularly close to, but who had been polite to him in the past.

Nathan nodded to James as he walked by. "Nice party, Diamond," he said.

"Where's Michelle?" James couldn't stop himself from asking.

Nathan merely shrugged, looking disinterested. "Who knows? She's not my problem anymore."

"What's that mean?"

"I broke up with her yesterday," Nathan said, looking uncomfortable for the first time. "It's over between us."

"You did? But what about… you know?" James was confused. What about their parents?

"The contracts got signed sooner than we expected," Nate explained. "The deal's done. Our parents don't need us to act like a big happy family anymore. They can carry on their business without us."

"I—oh. Well. I'm, uh, sorry to hear that?" James offered, not sure if Nathan was happy or upset about the breakup.

"Thanks. It does suck, but it's been a long time coming. And look, I'm sorry about being such a dick to you earlier in the year, alright? I'm a little too competitive for my own good." He held out a hand to James. "No hard feelings?"

James shook it, feeling like a complete ass. "No big, man."

"Cool. See you around." Nathan walked off with his friends.

James watched as Nathan and his friends turned a corner and went out of sight. He felt like such a dick, letting Nate apologize to him, when really he should have been the one apologizing. He'd spent so long thinking that Nate was only something standing in the way of him and Michelle being together, that it was his fault they couldn't be happy, because it was easier to blame it on him than to admit that maybe he was the one making the mistake.

Logan hadn't been paying much attention, too preoccupied with his own thoughts as he nursed another cup full of some drink Scott had handed him. He finished the liquid and set his cup down carelessly before standing up. He tried texting Camille, but she wasn't answering. He was fed up, and he wanted to do something about it.

Kendall noticed that Logan was walking off and followed him, catching up just as Logan had reached a hook that carried the boys' keys. "Whatcha up to, Loges?" His voice was casual, but his eyes were serious, locked onto the keys in his best friend's hand.

"I gotta talk to Camille," Logan said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What happened?" Kendall asked, trying to distract Logan from wanting to leave.

"Told Camille I want her, broke up with Hannah. Both of them left," Logan rattled off the shortest possible explanation, turning away from Kendall again.

"Okay, just hold on," Kendall demanded, reaching out to grab Logan's shoulder. He'd already made the mistake of letting a friend drive off after he'd been drinking once; he wasn't about to do it again. "You can't go anywhere tonight. Not like this."

"'M fine, Kendall," Logan muttered, trying to break free of his friend's grasp. "Lemme go."

"No way," Kendall said firmly. "You've been drinking, and you're crazy if you think I'm letting you drive over to the Palm Woods right now. You can talk to Camille in the morning, when you're sober."

"But I have to get her to change her mind!" Logan whined, though Kendall could see that he was giving up.

"Gimme the keys, Loges," Kendall requested, and his friend complied. "She'll talk to you tomorrow. You'll work it out. Promise."

* * *

><p>Once the party had started to wind down and people started going home, Carlos and Anya discretely disappeared up the stairs so that they could be alone for awhile before Anya had to go home.<p>

"So this is what your room looks like," Anya smiled. "I imagined it would be messier for some reason."

"I may have cleaned up a bit for you," Carlos replied with a smirk.

"And how did you know I'd even come up here with you, Mr. Garcia? What kind of girl do you take me for?" She batted her eyelashes at him innocently.

"I didn't know," Carlos said cheekily. "Only hoped. As for what kind girl you are… well, that's up to you to let me know."

Carlos closed the gap between them, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her against his body so he could kiss her zealously. She kissed back with just as much fervor, holding him in place with one hand gripping the back of his neck. He swiped his tongue along her bottom lip, grinning into the kiss when she parted her lips to allow him in. He was losing himself in their embrace, as he often did when they were like this, and didn't realize they were backing towards his bed until the backs of his legs hit the mattress and he fell onto it, yanking her down with him.

They laughed at themselves as they tried to untangle their limbs from each other, and Anya kissed the tip of Carlos' nose before rolling off him.

"It's late. I should get home," she said reluctantly, though she made no effort to move from her boyfriend's side.

"You've been drinking," Carlos reminded her. "No driving."

"Well I've gotta get home somehow," she rolled her eyes at him.

"Or," Carlos started cautiously. "You could… you could stay here."

The question surprised her. "I don't know," she said with some doubt. "I don't have any of my stuff with me. And my parents will be expecting me…" Her sentence trailed off. Carlos could see her resistance was waning. "I could always tell them I spent the night at Hannah's."

Carlos grinned and hopped off the bed, crossing the room to his closet to rummage through it. He pulled out a light green t-shirt that fit him loosely, so he knew it would be pretty large on her. He offered it to Anya and she took it with a smile.

"Turn around," she told him. "And no peeking!"

He spun on the spot and even covered his eyes, though it was doing nothing to prevent the mental images that were creeping into his head as he heard the soft rustling sounds of her clothes hitting the carpeted floor. While he waited with his back to turned to her, he unbuttoned his own shirt and slid it off, leaving on the form-fitting black tank top that he'd been wearing underneath. He pulled at the belt buckle on his waist, and wriggled out of the tight jeans that James had made him wear for the party, feeling more comfortable than he had in hours. Normally he would have gone to bed just like that, in his undershirt and boxers, but he didn't want to make Anya feel uncomfortable, so he went ahead and put on the basketball shorts before turning around.

She was sitting on the edge of his bed with her legs crossed, and Carlos had to remind himself to breathe when he saw her perched on the corner wearing just his t-shirt. It hung on her small frame, swallowing her in the soft fabric, but the image of her wearing his clothes was making his head go fuzzy—more so than it was already from the drinking they'd been doing.

He joined her on the bed, sitting on the edge and leaving a small gap between them. He laced their fingers together and moved a strand of hair out of her face.

"You tired?" he asked as she covered her mouth and yawned.

"Little bit," she shrugged.

"We can sleep if you want," he offered, reaching over to turn off the bright lamp that lit his room.

Anya crawled toward the side of his bed that rested against the wall, gingerly slipping under the covers and adjusting the pillows, waiting for him to lie down. Carlos rested on his side, facing her, and she did the same.

"I'm glad you're staying," he said softly, gently playing with her hair again.

"You better be," Anya teased. "If my parents ever find out, they'll send me to live in a convent until I'm 25. And you'll be a dead man."

"We better make it worth it then," he said, affecting a mock-seductive voice, which made Anya laugh.

He tilted her chin towards him so he could kiss her again, slipping his tongue in her mouth and gripping her hipbone with his fingertips. She pulled him close, not minding that half his bodyweight was resting on top of her. The weight was comfortable and she felt warm and safe. As they continued to kiss, Carlos' hand wandered to hemline of the shirt she was wearing, slipping underneath it so he could run his fingers over her skin. Normally he was hesitant and cautious when they were alone, not wanting to pressure her into doing anything she wasn't ready for, and she usually put a stop to things before they got too carried away.

Tonight felt different. Carlos wasn't being as timid as usual, and Anya didn't seem to mind. She didn't stop him when his hand crept higher, tracing the fabric of her bra, or when he rested his palm on her breast and applied some gentle pressure, squeezing it lightly. Feeling braver now, he snaked his hand around her back, feeling for the clasp of the garment, finally breaking their kiss and searching her face, sure that she would ask him to stop at any moment. She did no such thing, and allowed him to pop the clasp, giggling at him in his obvious excitement at having succeeded in figuring the thing out. Anya pulled off the now-undone bra through a sleeve of the t-shirt and tossed it off the bed so that it landed near the neat pile where her dress and shoes rested. She pulled on Carlos' shirt so he could close the distance between them again, this time planting kisses down her neck and across her collarbone as he slipped his hand under her shirt again, resting once again on her breast as she allowed him to touch her in ways he never had before.

Anya hadn't really planned on letting things go this far (though really, what did she expect by agreeing to spend the night in his room?), but her usual hesitancy was nowhere to be found. She wasn't sure exactly how far she _was_ willing to go tonight—she'd figure that out when it came down to it—but for now, she was enjoying the moment and the feel of Carlos' hands roaming her upper body underneath the oversized shirt she was wearing.

Carlos' own shirt was riding up a little, exposing the skin of his lower back, and Anya pushed it up further until he raised his arms so that she could slide it off him. He grinned at the uncharacteristic forwardness she was showing, wondering what he had done to deserve it. He readjusted his weight, pinning her to the mattress more so than before, their bodies flush against each other as their lips moved against each other and their tongues danced in each other's mouths.

Anya hooked a leg over him, pulling him impossibly closer, and Carlos froze for a second, knowing there was no way she hadn't noticed the way his body was reacting to the friction between them. He took a moment to curse his male anatomy and took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

"Sorry," he panted, pulling away from her slightly so he could stop feeling like he was sexually assaulting her.

"It's okay," she smiled understandingly. "It's a, uh, normal reaction."

"I still feel like a dick," Carlos stated. He then grinned. "No pun intended."

Anya snorted at his joke. "It's fine, I promise. I'll let you know when it's not."

"I just don't want you to think this is all I wanted when I asked you to stay," he worried.

"I don't think that," she smiled gently, touched that he was so concerned for her.

"Good, 'cause I—" he stopped abruptly, as if catching himself from revealing something he wasn't supposed to.

"You what?"

Carlos locked eyes with her briefly before dipping his head and pecking her on the lips again. "I love you," he said softly.

"I—really?" Anya looked surprised, but there was a wide smile on her face.

"Yeah," Carlos felt himself blushing, thankful that the room was dark. "I do. You don't have to say it back or anything, I just—"

"Shh," she interrupted him. "I love you, too."

"You do?" Carlos seemed as surprised as she had.

"Duh," she giggled.

Anya pulled him back on top of her, letting him settle between her legs, both of them panting as their pelvic regions met. Even through the fabric between them, their nerve endings were on fire—everything felt intensified, and Carlos stopped worrying about being embarrassed by the erection that he knew was poking her inner thigh. He rolled his hips down into hers, enjoying the small "oh" that escaped her lips as the friction between them increased.

One hand slid down, brushing over the soft material of the underwear she had on, moving past the area to trace circles on her thigh. He was still pushing his luck, he knew, but as long as she wasn't protesting… His fingertips grazed the fabric again, and she involuntarily bucked her hips up, creating more contact than he'd intended.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly.

"It's okay," Anya said. "You can… um, you can touch me, if you want." She bit her lip, seeming kind of embarrassed, but Carlos could tell she was being sincere.

He complied immediately, touching her center and applying some pressure to the area, eliciting a soft moan from the girl beneath him. His fingertips rubbed her harder, and he wasn't at all sure he was doing anything right, but Anya wasn't complaining as he continued to work, the fabric of her underwear creating more heat and friction, even while serving as a barrier between them. He picked up his speed, building confidence as she writhed under his touch and panted quietly, trying to keep herself in check, knowing that James' room was only a short distance down the hall.

The thin material was becoming damp, and Carlos was basically working on autopilot as he removed his hand from between her legs and ground his pelvis down into hers again. He still had on the basketball shorts he'd picked out to sleep in, but the layers of clothing between them didn't seem to be deterring them. She arched her back into the movement, meeting his shallow thrusts with some of her own, causing them both to groan quietly. Anya gripped Carlos' shoulders as they moved, and didn't stop him when she felt his fingers hook into the band of her underwear, until—

"Wait," she said suddenly.

Carlos' hand froze instantly. "Sorry," he apologized again. "Too fast? We can stop if you—"

"No, it's not that," she assured him. "Do you… do you, um, have any… er, protection?" Her cheeks reddened as she asked the question.

Carlos wasn't expecting that response; he was excited for a brief shining moment before reality brought him back down to earth. He ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. "No," he admitted. "I wasn't, uh, expecting this to happen tonight, so I didn't… prepare."

"I'm sorry," Anya was the one to apologize this time. "I just really want to be careful, you know? I'm not—I'm not on birth control or anything so…"

"Don't be sorry, you're right. We should wait. Unless you want me to go ask James if he has anything," he joked, knowing as he said it that she would shoot that idea down.

"Don't even think it," she told him, mortified at the mere thought of Carlos barging into James' room to ask for condoms. Her features softened when she met Carlos' eyes. "You're not mad, are you?"

"Of course not," he answered easily, finally rolling off of her to rest on his side again. "We just got caught up for a little bit there. I mean… it'll happen when it's supposed to…right?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I don't want you think I don't want to…"

"Stop worrying," Carlos instructed. "I should, uh, probably go take a cold shower though," he finished, gesturing vaguely to his lower half. The unreleased tension that had built up was becoming more and more uncomfortable, creeping on the verge of painful, and he needed to do something about it soon.

"Maybe I can help with that," Anya said quietly.

"Wha—really?"

Anya nodded, the determined look on her face contrasting the stunned one on her boyfriend's. He relaxed into his pillows, letting her pull his basketball shorts down his legs until she could throw them to the floor with the rest of their things before climbing on top of him and resting on his thighs. He grew more embarrassed as the seconds ticked by, feeling awkward while she looked down at the obvious tent pitched in his boxers as if she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do next.

"You don't have to—"

"Shh," she hushed him. "I want to."

Slowly, she slid a hand beneath the waistband of his boxers, her fingertips brushing the hardened length gently until finally she exhaled and gripped it in her hand at the base.

"_Fuck," _Carlos mumbled, struggling to keep himself in the moment and not give way to the pleasure that was jolting through him.

His breathing hitched as she firmed her grip and pumped her hand up and down. He let out a couple of low grunts, unable to keep himself from bucking into her hand. Anya leaned down to kiss him again, using her other hand to trail through his hair while he gripped the hemline of her shirt in his fist, still fighting to stay in control of his body. Anya broke away from their kiss, nuzzling into his neck as he reached closer to his peak, swiping her tongue across his skin and nipping gently.

"Let go," she said in his ear, quickening the pace of the hand working beneath his boxers.

He didn't need to be told twice. She held onto him as he groaned louder than he meant to, releasing the pent-up tension that had been building practically since they got to his room. His body stiffened as the pleasure washed through him, before he slumped back down again, feeling relaxed and oddly exhausted. He didn't have it in him to be embarrassed about the sticky mess that now coated Anya's hand, only able to smile at her lazily when she looked over to his nightstand and reached for tissues.

"Anya… that was…" He couldn't think of an adjective that would be good enough to describe what he was feeling.

"I love you," she murmured, curling up into his side and resting her head on his chest.

Carlos kissed the top of her head, holding her against him as they both closed their eyes. "Love you, too."

* * *

><p>An unexpected storm rolled in overnight, causing the power to go out. It was nearly noon when Carlos and Anya woke up the next day, but the clouds and rain and fog made it seem as if it were still nighttime outside. Thunder and lightning clattered outside, practically shaking the house.<p>

The two made their way downstairs with Carlos leading the way, thinking that none of the other boys would be up yet. They wanted to check what the weather situation was like—Carlos didn't want Anya to have to drive home if it was going to be dangerous.

Carlos descended the staircase with Anya behind him, but he stopped short at the sight of all three boys plopped down on different pieces of furniture in the living room. They looked up as he entered the room, all of them grinning cheekily as Anya emerged wearing his t-shirt and nothing else. Thankfully, it was large enough on her to cover an appropriate amount of skin.

"Well look at what we have here_," _James said loudly, grinning as Carlos blushed. "Did you two have a good night? Sleep well?"

Kendall and Logan snickered as Carlos squirmed under James' questions. "Shut up, James," he said, stepping in front of Anya to block her from their view.

"It was a _great _night," Anya said with smirk as she stepped out from behind Carlos, wiping the smug looks off the boys' faces. "Any other questions?" She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at them, daring them to continue teasing. No one took the dare.

"You can't drive home in this weather," Logan said, changing the subject. He looked a bit pale, but otherwise fine.

"I better text my mom and tell her I'm stuck at Hannah's," Anya sighed. Logan shifted and looked away at the mention of Hannah's name. "Is everything okay?" she asked him, noticing his discomfort.

"Oh, yeah… I just… Hannah and I broke up last night."

"Oh," she answered softly. "I'm sorry." He looked like he could have used some sympathy, but Hannah was her best friend, so she didn't press him for details, wanting to hear her side of things first.

"Good thing my mom doesn't get back until tomorrow," Kendall said from his spot on the couch. "It's gonna take us that long to clean this up."

"We better get to work," Logan agreed. "She'll kill us if anything's out of place, and Gustavo will kill us again when he comes back."

Everyone gulped down bottles of water and aspirin, trying to stave off the hangovers they knew would only worsen throughout the day. They scoured the bottom floor of the mansion, trying to make sure everything was as spotless as it had been before the party. They moved the furniture back into place and put the trash in the garage, thinking they'd go dump it when the weather cleared up.

Two hours later, everything was clean and it was still raining hard. They were all startled when a loud clap of thunder was followed immediately by the doorbell ringing.

"Who could that be?" Kendall wondered out loud, going to answer the door.

He opened the door, stunned into silence when he found Michelle standing on the doorstep. She was soaking wet, having run from her car to the front porch with no umbrella or protection at all. Her eyes were red and she looked jittery and nervous.

"Is James here?" she asked when he merely continued to stare at her.

"Y—yeah," Kendall stuttered. He stepped aside to let her in the house. He still didn't know what the whole story was between her and James, but she looked distressed enough that he couldn't turn her away. Besides, he had deduced enough to know that _something _had happened between them, though he had no idea to what extent.

"Who's at the door, Ken—" James crossed the threshold and froze in his tracks, seeing Michelle dripping water all over the tiled floor of the mansion. The other three had followed him, also curious about who could be there with the weather so bad. They all stared at Michelle, unable to form words.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need—I have to tell you something," she stammered. For the first time since they'd met her, Michelle seemed utterly awkward. She _always _affected a cool demeanor, a façade of nonchalance, like nothing was a big deal. The only time she'd ever not seemed calm and collected had been when she was yelling at Holly in the parking lot for screwing over Derek.

"So say it," James said coolly. He stayed rooted to the spot, his face a mask of indifference. "Everyone here knows what happened between us anyway." He glanced at Kendall quickly, and the look that passed between them was enough for him to confirm that his suspicions had been true all along.

Michelle shook her head, pleading with him. "Please talk to me, you know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important."

"Just tell me why you're here, 'Chelle!" Her nickname slipped from his lips before he realized what he'd said. He bit the inside of his cheek when it dawned on him, angry with himself for letting their old familiarity creep into this conversation. He was still angry with her for how things had gone, how she had treated him when it ended. The fact that Nathan had confirmed they were broken up didn't change that.

"James—I—" She looked around helplessly at the others, wishing they'd leave of their own accord, but they were all too shocked to move.

"Why. Are. You. Here?" He enunciated each word crisply, his tone harsh, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

><p><strong>Omg. I can't believe I finally made it to the end of this chapter. If you're following my Tumblr, you know that I've been having some trouble getting this one down. I hope it was worth the wait. Thanks again for the messages on there.<strong>

**One more chapter (maybe two, depending on if I decide it needs to be split) and epilogue to go. **

**Please please please review? Anonymous is enabled so leave me something! I would love to know what you think about everything that went down in this chapter. Looking forward to everyone's reactions!**


	23. The Lining is Silver

Chapter 23: The Lining is Silver

"_I'm pregnant."_

The silence in the room was deafening. Anya's hand flew to her heart in surprise, while Kendall and Logan's mouths hung open. Carlos blinked a few times, looking back and forth between James and Michelle, unsure if he had just heard her correctly.

The boys all stared at James, waiting for his reaction.

"You—you're…what?" James' whole body had gone numb, save for the pulse he felt pounding in his ears. He couldn't make sense of the thoughts that were running through his head—sentences and images swam before his eyes too quickly for him to decipher anything, and her statement just repeated itself in his head.

Michelle had started crying, hugging herself tightly and shivering, standing in the foyer still soaked to the bone from the heavily falling rain. Logan, ever the logical one, was the first to regain his senses and sprang into action first, closely followed by Anya. He went over to the laundry room and pulled out a blanket and rummaged through the clean clothes that were sitting in there. Luckily, Carlos had been the last one to do laundry, meaning that he had accidentally shrunk a bunch of t-shirts and cotton pants in the dryer so that they would no longer fit any of the boys properly. He went over to Michelle, who was shaking slightly as he wrapped the blanket around her gingerly. Anya guided her to the bathroom so she could change out of her wet clothes.

"Thanks," she whispered.

Anya waited outside the bathroom door for Michelle and Logan and the other boys shook James out of his stupor, pulling him back into the living room to sit down. None of them said anything as they waited for the girls to come back, still too shocked from her revelation to voice anything. Kendall had a deep frown on his face, and Logan could see that something was bothering him, stewing behind his eyes. Carlos kept his attention focused on James, who looked like he might pass out at any moment, his head resting in his hands and his elbows on his knees.

When the girls came into the room, Anya sat beside Michelle, holding onto her arm comfortingly as she sat shivering. She and James made eye contact and she wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her knees.

"You—you're sure?" James asked weakly.

Michelle nodded miserably. "I skipped—I missed a period a few weeks ago," she said. "I didn't think about it at the time because it's not that uncommon for me, because of modeling. Sometimes I—sometimes I don't eat a lot to make sure I stay thin enough to book jobs, and it stresses my body out. Or sometimes I take my birth control out of order to make it easier to work," she rambled, not caring about the personal information she was revealing to everyone. "I thought I was being careful when we—while we were—but I must have messed up somewhere because I—I've been throwing up every morning for the last week and I've been getting so nauseated at the most random things… I took a test just now, to make sure, just before I came over, and I had to tell you…"

She stopped talking abruptly, pausing to wipe tears from her face with shaky hands. Anya handed her some tissues she'd taken from the bathroom and rubbed her back soothingly.

"What are y—what are we gonna do?" James' question was rhetorical but he looked over at Michelle anyway.

"Hold on," Kendall said suddenly, his voice louder than normal. Everyone's heads turned towards him. "No offense," he started, though his tone threatened rudeness in every syllable. "But how do you even know it's James' kid? Everyone knows you were dating Nathan too the whole time you were with James."

"Kendall—" Logan chided him for his harshness, sending a him a look that told him to back off. Kendall crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.

"What? It's not like it's a secret," he muttered.

Now that he'd mentioned it, though, everyone was wondering the same thing, and turned back to Michelle for an answer.

"I know it's his," she choked out.

"How?" Kendall asked again, this time earning himself a kick in the shin from Logan, who wanted his friend to be a little more sensitive.

"Because I—" She didn't seem to be able to finish her sentence. Anya squeezed her hand lightly. "Because I haven't slept with Nate since_—_not since you and I—not since _our _first time." It came out as a whisper as she locked eyes with James again, but everyone heard her clearly.

"Y—you haven't?"

Michelle shook her head. "Not once."

She and James stared at each other as everyone took in the revelation. Carlos let out a low whistle inadvertently.

"We should let you guys talk," Logan said, standing up. "_Alone," _he clarified when no one else moved.

Anya let go of Michelle's hand and reached out for Carlos, and they both followed Logan and Kendall back upstairs to give James and Michelle some privacy.

"I don't know what to say," James murmured once everyone had gone. "How did this happen?"

"I'm sorry," Michelle's voice cracked. "I'm—I—I know you're mad at me, you have every right to be—I just… didn't mean for things to get so fucked up."

They were sitting beside each other with a small between them. James was resisting the urge to reach out and touch her shoulder or offer some sort of physical comfort, still trying to gather his thoughts on the whole situation. If she hadn't been with Nathan since the first time she slept with James, did that mean she really was harboring some feelings for him? Was telling him that bit of information a clue that she wasn't as emotionless about their relationship as she had been trying to pretend? He had to know the truth.

"So… when we fought, the night of the play..?" He didn't quite know how to phrase his question, but she understood what he was asking.

"I was trying to make you break up with me," she confessed. "I knew I wouldn't be able to do it myself, so I said things I knew would make you want to walk away. I thought it would be for the best. It would be easier for you to move on if you hated me, or if you thought I didn't have feelings for you! I just wanted to give you a chance at having a normal relationship with someone who deserves you."

"Who says you don't deserve me?"

"I'm not good for you, James," Michelle's voice was shaky again, and she took some deep breaths to try to keep herself from crying again. "I'm selfish, and a coward, and a liar. Not to mention a cheater. Why would you want someone like me? You deserve someone who can give you everything you give them."

"But all that doesn't matter anymore," James insisted, finally reaching out and touching her. He took one of her hands lightly in his, rubbing it with his thumb. "Nate told me your parents signed the contracts. He told me you two broke up. You're free now! You can do whatever you want."

She looked up at him again, her green eyes shining with more unshed tears, not daring to hope he was saying what she thought he was.

"Are you—do you… are you saying that after everything I did to you, you want to make this work?" She was incredulous, unable to fathom why on earth he would want to be with her.

"I'm saying we can try," he said simply, pulling her towards him and hugging her. "But first we need to talk about what to do… You need to tell someone, or see a doctor, or—"

"I can't," she answered immediately. "I can't tell my parents, they'll freak out, or send me away to boarding school or something."

"They wouldn't do that," James tried to tell her.

"You don't know them!" She sounded nearly hysterical. "They're super conservative! They'd probably send me off somewhere to have the kid and tell everyone I decided to go to New York to pursue modeling."

"Okay, okay, shh," he tried to calm her down. "We don't have to decide everything right now. We'll take it a day at a time, okay? But you have to tell someone. We can't do this by ourselves. What about Derek?"

Michelle let out a watery laugh. "You want me to tell my brother you got me pregnant? He'll kill you."

"I can take him," James chuckled back.

* * *

><p>"Kendall, you need to chill out," Logan tried to reason, shutting the door to the game room.<p>

"How are you not freaking out, Loges? He fuckin' got her pregnant! He's not ready to be a dad! He's gonna ruin his whole life if he gets back with her!"

"You don't know that," Carlos said. "Things might work out fine."

"Don't be so naïve," Kendall spat rudely. "What the fuck does James know about being a father? And how is supposed to deal with that while we're still in fucking _high school_? And what about the band?"

"What _about _the band?" Logan questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"How can we even call ourselves a band anymore, Kendall? We have no producer, no songwriters, and an indefinite hiatus until either Gustavo comes back or Griffin gets tired of waiting and just drops us from our contract!"

"Yeah, and he'll definitely drop us when he finds out James is gonna have a kid!"

"Look, we're not gonna figure everything out today," Logan said calmly. "But we need to let James and Michelle wrap their heads around this before we do or say anything. The most important thing is making sure Michelle and the baby are okay."

Kendall ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I just don't think they know what they're getting into."

"And you do?" Logan asked.

"I do, actually! I know what it's like growing up in a house with a dad who didn't want you!" Kendall yelled. "My mom had me when she was 18 and only married my dad because he got her pregnant! Then he bailed on us when Katie was just a baby because he couldn't deal with it anymore! He _cheated _on my mom and then blew up and _hit _her when she confronted him about it!"

Logan and Carlos were stunned into silence. Kendall usually avoided talking about his father; they had never known the details about why his parents were no longer together.

"Kendall—" Carlos started.

"Just forget it," Kendall muttered.

"James isn't your dad, Kendall," Carlos told him firmly. "I'm sorry that he did that to your family, but you don't know how James is gonna react to all this until… well, until he does it. But no matter what happens, you gotta let them deal with it the way they want."

"And who knows? She might decide not to keep it. There are plenty of people who would love to adopt a new baby if they decide they aren't ready to be parents," Logan reminded them.

"And with those two as the mom and dad, it's gonna be the cutest baby ever," Carlos added. "People will be lining up to adopt him or her."

Anya had remained silent, not wanting to intrude on the boys' discussion. She squeezed Carlos' hand as he spoke, knowing that he didn't like it when there was conflict between him and his friends. He squeezed it back in gratitude, biting his lip as Kendall just continued to glare around the room, looking like he wanted to hit something.

The rain was finally starting to let up, thinning out to a dull drizzle and Anya decided it was time for her to head home. With one last worried glance at Kendall, she and Carlos went back up to his room so she could get her clothes. He kept his back to her politely while she pulled off his shirt and put her own dress back on, turning around only when he heard the mattress creak as she sat on the edge of his bed.

"You okay? What'cha thinking about?"

"Sex," came her answer. She was messing with her hair like she always did when she was nervous or thinking about something in particular.

"Uhh… Right now?" Carlos hadn't been expecting that.

"Not like that," she rolled her eyes. "Just… do you really think we're ready? What if—what if we hadn't stopped last night and something happened? What just happened to Michelle and James—that could easily be us."

"But we did stop," he reminded her. "Nothing happened. We were careful. _You _were careful."

"I know, I'm just…freaked out."

"Listen, we don't have to do anything yet if you don't want to."

"But _you _want to."

"I only want to if you do," Carlos said gently. "I have no problem waiting until we're both more ready. We'll take the proper precautions and when it finally does happen, we'll know it was worth waiting for."

"And you're really okay with that?"

"Of course," he told her. "Besides, there are plenty of _other _things we can try in the meantime." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, making her laugh.

"I love you," she said when she was done giggling.

Carlos kissed her sweetly. "I like hearing you say that. I love you, too."

* * *

><p>"You look like shit, Loges."<p>

"Thanks, Carlos."

"No offense."

It was Sunday morning, and Mrs. Knight was due back at the house later that day from her weekend trip. Carlos had walked into the game room to find Logan lying on his back, staring at his phone, with homework strewn about, none of it complete. He hadn't bothered to spike up his hair that day, or even put on real clothes, opting to lounge around in the t-shirt and sweatpants he had gone to sleep in. A couple of empty soda cans lay crumpled on the floor, as well as a wrinkled bag of chips. If he hadn't known why Logan felt so crappy, he would have thought his friend was ill—Logan was never one to leave a messy area.

Logan looked around at the clutter and back up at Carlos. "Don't judge my pity party, okay? Not all of us are lucky enough to enter into a perfect relationship with the first girl who looks at us."

Carlos ignored his jab about Anya being his first real girlfriend. "So… are you okay about the Hannah thing? Do you regret breaking up with her?"

"I feel bad about it," Logan replied. "But no. I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. I'm not dwelling on it. And after my day of moping, I will go back to my old self. I might even be optimistic about Camille. I could sit here and angst about how she turned me down, but who knows? Once she finds out I broke up with Hannah for real… things could finally work out."

"She doesn't know?"

"I don't want to tell her over text message. We need to seriously sit down and talk, with no interruptions, no people, no one running off to an audition or back to school."

"I think that was the point of inviting her here. You know James and Kendall asked her to come on purpose, right?"

"I figured as much when they both fell all over themselves trying to get us to be alone."

"And what exactly happened?"

"I pulled her into the bathroom and told her that I wanted us to be together. And she said that all that would happen is I'd remember why things never worked out before and I wouldn't want to be with her. I mean I guess I can't blame her; I spent too long avoiding my feelings and telling her we should be just be friends."

"How did you get so mature? I swear we should have rubbed off on you somehow. You're so…rational. Aside from the whole trying to drive off into the night after chugging down a cup of rum," Carlos said pointedly.

"It wasn't _pure _rum," Logan answered in weak defense. "There was Coke in it too. Okay, okay, that was stupid, I know," he added when Carlos only continued to stare at him with his eyebrows raised. He decided to change the subject. "Anyway, you've been in a good mood all weekend, considering everything that's gone down. What's got you so chipper?"

Carlos couldn't stop the shifty grin that spread across his face. He slapped Logan's legs so he'd move them and sat down on the couch, looking around for eavesdroppers, even though they were alone. "Can you keep a secret?"

"No," Logan grinned back. "We both know Kendall and James will find out eventually."

"True. But I'll tell you anyway." He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Anya and I are thinking about having sex."

Logan sat up quickly, surprised. "What? No way!" Part of him wanted to rationalize it with Carlos, and make sure he had really thought it all the way through, and understood the emotional and physical consequences of sex. But a larger part of him—the part that was purely hormonal teenage boy—was already excited for his friend. "That's awesome," he smirked.

"Thanks," Carlos leaned back into couch. "We almost did it Friday night, actually."

"Almost?"

"I don't have condoms," he said ruefully. "I didn't think we'd get that far already and she didn't want to do it without protection. I almost went to ask James if he had any."

Logan laughed out loud at the mental image of Carlos waddling down the hall in the middle of the night with a boner to ask James for condoms. Carlos waited patiently for his laughter to subside, shaking his head at himself too, knowing how ridiculous it sounded.

When he calmed down, Logan spoke again. "Well, I'm glad you guys had the presence of mind not to do anything stupid. Good thing Anya's about as smart as I am; now I don't have to lecture you. We don't need two-fourths of this band to have babies on the way. Although, if that did happen, we could probably get a reality show out of it. It would be like 'Making the Band' meets 'Sixteen and Pregnant.'"

"We tried doing reality TV, remember? Didn't work out so great."

"Speak for yourself. While you were busy fake fighting with James and Kendall was trying to make sure the world didn't see his bare ass, I was making out with Camille all over the Palm Woods in increasingly dramatic fashions."

"Living the dream," Carlos replied sarcastically. "If you had made your move earlier, that could've been real making out instead of on-camera-only making out."

"Hey, I've told her where I stand now. Things are all out in the open. She knows how I feel, now it's up to her to decide if she feels the same and if she wants to go for it."

* * *

><p>"Oh my goodness, James, what happened to you?" Mrs. Knight put down the bowl she was scrubbing and dried her hands, rushing over to James, who'd just walked into the kitchen with Kendall. He looked like his nose had been bleeding, and he had a black eye.<p>

Mrs. Knight made him sit down and gave him some ice for the bruise, waiting for him to explain.

"It's nothing, Mom, don't worry about it," Kendall stepped in quickly, coming to James' aid. "Just a little incident at school."

"It's alright, Kendall," James sighed. "Can I talk to your mom for a little while?"

Kendall stared at James for a long moment before he nodded curtly and left the room. Mrs. Knight had been James' unofficial mother figure for as long as they could remember. Brooke Diamond, though she loved her son very much, had never been the overly nurturing and sensitive type, often leaving James to his own devices, and his new "stepmother" was young enough to be his sister. Mrs. Knight provided the maternal affection he lacked at home, and he had never found it uncomfortable or odd to talk to her when he needed advice about something. He hoped she would still feel the same way after he told her his story.

"Are you alright, James?" She questioned. "What happened?"

"I sort of got in a fight with Derek at school today," he admitted, hanging his head. "Although, I'm not sure if you can call it a fight since I didn't try to hit him back or anything."

"Derek?" Mrs. Knight was confused. "I thought he was a good friend of all you boys."

"He is," James amended. "He was just mad at—I mean I don't blame him, I-" He stopped himself and chewed on his lip, deciding to just go for the plunge. "Mrs. Knight, my, uh—" Girlfriend? Was that what Michelle was to him now? "My girlfriend's pregnant."

Mrs. Knight gasped and put her hand over her heart. "Oh, James."

"I—I'm sorry," his voice cracked. He didn't know why he felt the need to apologize to her, but it seemed like something he should say. "We were stupid, _I _was stupid. It just—I don't know how things got so out of control."

"James, honey, it's okay. You're not stupid. Everyone makes mistakes; you just have to learn from them. Who's your girlfriend, sweetie?" Mrs. Knight pulled him into a tight hug that he couldn't return because he felt like he had disappointed her. His own mother could never elicit much emotional reaction from him, but Mrs. Knight sure could.

"Her name's Michelle. She's Derek's sister."

"Have you two thought about what you might do?"

James shook his head. "No… it's—she can't—it's just too much. Michelle hasn't even told anyone yet. Except Derek, apparently. He let me have it after school today. And I don't blame him."

"I know it's overwhelming, believe me," Mrs. Knight said softly. "I've been there, too. Have you told _your_ parents yet?"

"No," James said again. "I was thinking I'd wait until me and Michelle figure things out. They'd both just freak out on me and probably not say anything helpful and I really just don't know what to say to them or how to deal with any of this. I keep thinking I'll wake up and none of it will be real. We'll be back at the Palm Woods recording our album and getting yelled at by Gustavo, and I'll never even have met Michelle."

"Don't think like that. I know you feel stressed out, but you can't go back now. Only forward."

"I'm scared," James admitted. "I'm scared because I don't know what she's thinking. I have no clue if she wants to keep it, or think about adoption or…" He trailed off. "I want to be there for her, but what if I can't? What if it all gets to be too much and I bail on her?"

Mrs. Knight's heart broke for the frightened boy sitting in front of her. James was much more vulnerable than he let on. He was used to being independent and strong, having been raised by _the _Brooke Diamond, a woman who never let her weaknesses show—not in her business and not even when her husband of seventeen years suddenly filed for divorce and remarried someone nearly young enough to be his daughter. James had lacked a lot of parental guidance growing up, and it was easy to see how things were taking their toll on him now.

"I can't predict how you'll handle things," Mrs. Knight told him. "But I do know that I have known you for twelve years now, Jamie, and I know that when it comes down to it, you'll always do your best to do the right thing. Right now that means being there for Michelle and supporting her and helping her make the right choices."

James half-smiled at Mrs. Knight's use of his old nickname. No one had used it in about seven years or so, after he'd decided that 'Jamie' was a baby's name.

"But what is the right choice?" He asked desperately. "I just want someone to tell us what to do."

"No one can make that decision but the two of you. Together. As much as I would love to tell you that there's a clear answer, the truth is that there isn't."

Mrs. Knight kissed the top of his head, and this time he returned her hug, feeling slightly better but no less confused about the mess he'd gotten himself into.

* * *

><p>Over the rest of the week at school, Logan was becoming increasingly antsy, practically falling out of his chair every time his phone buzzed as he snapped it up to see who was calling or texting him. He'd been telling the truth when he told Carlos that he was remaining optimistic about Camille, but it was getting hard to do since it had now been days since they'd spoken and she'd made no effort to see him.<p>

It was distracting him enough that even though the end of the semester was rapidly approaching, he wasn't even bothering to draw up study schedules for final exams like he had with midterms. He breezed through his schoolwork, not taking his usual meticulous care in completing his assignments (not that this mattered—he wasn't labeled a genius for no reason), and he didn't bother nagging the other boys to study.

Kendall was worried about him—partially because Logan just didn't seem like Logan if he didn't have his nose stuck in a book, but also because he couldn't tell whether Logan's cavalier attitude was real or if he was putting up a show to mask the fact that he was upset that Camille had kind of rejected him. Another part of Kendall felt guilty, since he'd been the one to invite Camille to their party in the first place, and the whole thing had not gone as he'd expected it to. He was so sure that if he just got the two of them alone, they would work things out. But, he was so busy focusing on Camille, he'd forgotten the minor detail that Logan still hadn't actually broken up with Hannah. So Camille had bailed—and who could blame her?—and Kendall felt like it was his fault.

As Kendall stewed in his thoughts about how to help his friend, he mindlessly completed a math assignment, knowing he was probably making careless mistakes in his calculations, but not really caring enough to go back and double check his work. He was startled out of his contemplations by his phone ringing, and he stared down at the caller ID in mild surprise.

"Kelly?" He said into the phone. "Hi. What's up?"

"_Hi, Kendall. Do you have a minute?"_

"Sure," he replied. "How are you?"

"_I'm fine. I have some news for you. Are the guys around?"_

"No, just me."

"_That's okay, you can pass along the message. I got a call from Gustavo earlier today."_

"You did? Really? How is he? Is he okay? Is he coming back?" The questions spilled out of Kendall's mouth rapidly and he tried to calm himself down so Kelly could answer him.

Kelly laughed. _"Everything's fine. And… yes! He told me that he'll be coming back in three weeks. I've already had an emergency meeting with Griffin, and he's prepared to put you all back at the Palm Woods as soon as possible. And Gustavo told me, and I quote, 'Make sure those mangy dogs are out of my mansion by the time I get back, and have the whole place checked for fleas.'" _

Kendall rolled his eyes at his producer's melodrama, not taking the harsh words to heart. "So, what? He comes back and we just go back to working on our second album? What about school? We're just gonna leave in the middle of the year?"

"_That looks like the plan. I know it sucks to have to pick up and leave again, but it won't be practical to have you attending school full time if you're going to get the album out as quick as Griffin wants it. Now that he knows Gustavo's coming back, he's sure to give you guys a ridiculous deadline."_

"No, I understand. When can we start moving?" Kendall was already stressing about the fight the other boys were sure to put up. Carlos and James wouldn't want to move back so suddenly now that they had girlfriends (in Carlos' case, anyway; Kendall wasn't really sure if Michelle counted as a girlfriend).

"_You'll have to go talk to Mr. Bitters. I know for a fact that your old apartment was held for you, so everything will be just like you left it." _

"This is so unreal," Kendall commented, more to himself than anything.

"_I know it's short notice. But the label is fully ready to welcome you back—despite putting you on the hiatus, Griffin believes that Big Time Rush is going to blow up the charts when you make your comeback."_

"Wow. Okay. I'll make sure to tell the others. Thanks for calling, Kelly."

"_Of course. Can't wait to see you guys back in the studio. I'll talk to you again soon."_

"Alright. Bye."

Kendall clicked his phone off and stared at it, wondering vaguely if he'd just dreamed up the conversation that had just taken place. He supposed he should feel more excited, but with everything that was going on, it just felt like another bombshell had been dropped on them all. How were they supposed to get back in gear to record their album when James might very possibly be in the midst of trying to learn how to be a dad?

He looked over at the digital clock on his nightstand. It was still early afternoon—Logan was still at school, working on a lab with Anya, which meant Carlos had stuck around too to wait for her. Kendall didn't know where James was, but he guessed he was probably somewhere with Michelle. Sighing to himself, he forced himself up, grabbing his keys off the desk and light jacket with the West Beverly Hills logo on it.

Kendall parked the car outside the lobby of the Palm Woods, searching for Mr. Bitters, who surprisingly, had no snide remarks for Kendall. He allowed the boy into his office, having already received notification that he and the rest of the family would be moving back into their old apartment sometime soon. They discussed move-in dates and the manager handed over the keys to the apartment, allowing Kendall to see himself out.

He planned on heading straight through the lobby and back home so he could tell everyone the news, but he paused when he saw Camille sitting a corner chair, studying a script, head bobbing slightly to the music in her headphones. Kendall struggled with himself for a moment, before making a quick a decision and walking over to her and tapping her shoulder.

She jumped at the contact, having been absorbed in her work. "Kendall! What are you doing here?" She pulled her headphones out of her ears and moved her pile of stuff off of the seat across from her so that he could sit down.

"We're moving back in," he explained. "We're gonna finish our album."

"That's fantastic. Congratulations. Are you here alone, or..?" She glanced around the room, trying to see if anyone else had come with him.

"Logan's not here," Kendall replied, answering her unasked question.

"Oh." Camille looked down, nervously crossing her legs and messing with her hair, just to have something to do.

"Why haven't you returned his calls?"

"I—I don't know," she responded uncomfortably, not meeting his gaze.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Kendall snorted. "I know what he said to you. Why are you still running away from him?"

"I was scared," she admitted. "I didn't want to answer the phone and have to hear him say _again _that he made a mistake. I don't want to be his mistake anymore. He and Hannah—"

"Are over," Kendall interjected.

"They're what?"

"They're done. Logan broke up with her after you left."

"Oh…"

"Even after you told him not to. And he'll break up with the next girl he goes out with, and the one after that, because for some strange reason, you're one he's supposed to be with. You guys both bounce around in all these different love triangles, failing to see the obvious—that you two are the common points in all of them."

Camille sat there in silence, absorbing Kendall's words and not saying anything.

Kendall stood up and began walking away. "He told you where he stands. Stop being scared of the conversation and do the same."

* * *

><p>"I just don't understand why these calculations are so off. We've done everything right! We double checked every step. It doesn't make sense."<p>

Anya rubbed her temples frustratedly, having no answer to Logan's outburst. She and Logan were spending yet another afternoon in the Physics lab, with several other pairs of students who were also having trouble with the assignment. The other students looked morosely at Logan and Anya—if the two smartest kids in the class couldn't figure it out, what hope was there for them?

Carlos merely sat on a stool out of the way, actually doing his best not to distract his studious friends. It was Friday afternoon, and once Anya and Logan were done for the day, he was going to take Anya on a date. Usually this would have excited him, but tonight he had to tell her that he and the other boys would be withdrawing from West Beverly Hills at the end of the semester and going back to the Palm Woods. His initial happiness at being able to go back to work on their fledgling music career had subsided nearly instantly at the thought that he would no longer be able to see Anya every day. He knew in his head that it wasn't that big of a deal—they were still in the same city, they both had reliable transportation and would be able get together often, but it was still weird. He'd grown accustomed to walking her to class, carrying her heavy bags for her, making out in the auditorium after her ballet rehearsals. He wouldn't be able to do those things anymore.

"Well fuck, I don't know what else to try," Logan said. "Let's just leave it and start again on Monday. Sound good to you?"

"Ugh, thank God. I've been wanting to say that for the last twenty minutes, but I didn't want you judge me for being a slacker," Anya exclaimed, tossing her pencil onto the lab table and shutting her notebook. She began helping Logan clear off their workstation, but he waved her off.

"You guys go ahead on your date, I'll deal with this."

"I don't want to leave you with this mess," Anya said.

"It's fine. I actually have some other things to go over, so I'll be here for just a little while longer. No worries. I'll see you guys later."

"Thanks, buddy," Carlos clapped Logan on the back.

Carlos took Anya's hand and practically dragged her out of the room, pressing her against a row of lockers as soon as they had rounded a corner. She only faintly protested when he went in for a kiss, leaning his body into hers and tangling his fingers in her hair.

"Can't you at least hold off until we get off school property?" She asked breathlessly, inhaling sharply when he nipped her neck.

"Nope," he answered, his voice muffled because he was still trying to kiss her and speak at the same time.

"I'm okay with that." She directed him back up to her mouth, one hand gripping his shoulder and another one resting on the back of his neck. He moved to deepen the kiss but she squeezed his shoulder again, signaling him to slow down, which he did. He reluctantly pulled away from her with a small grin on his face.

"Sorry. But since I couldn't distract you while you were in the lab, I had to make up for it somehow."

"Mission accomplished," Anya replied with her own grin. "Let's get out of here. I have some news for you."

"You do? I do too."

They held hands as they walked down the hall and out the front doors towards the parking lot.

"What's your news?" Anya wondered, clicking the button on her key chain to unlock her car doors.

"You first," Carlos countered, wanting to avoid the discussion for a while longer.

"I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning," she announced, smiling.

Carlos frowned, not understanding why she'd be happy about such a thing. "Are you sick or something? Am I gonna get mono from making out with you just now?"

"Uh, not that kind of doctor," she laughed, amused by his confusion. "I'm getting a prescription for birth control."

Carlos turned his head fully to look at her. She glanced at him but then returned her eyes to the road.

"Are you sure? Is that really what you want?"

Anya nodded, taking her right hand off the wheel so she could link it with his. "I'm sure."

* * *

><p>Camille turned onto the unfamiliar property, parking in a random spot and slamming the car door shut. She took a deep breath before marching forward, trying to keep the directions straight in her mind. <em>Through the front doors, down the left hallway, turn right at the first corner, fifth room on left next to the water fountain.<em>

Her stomach was in knots as she approached the designated room. She could see that the lights were still on, but there were no voices or noises coming from the doorway at all. She was almost afraid to look inside, but she forced herself forward.

His back was to her, but she recognized him anyway. Logan sat slumped over a table, copying an equation into his notebook hurriedly.

"It's a little late to still be here, isn't it?"

Logan jumped at the sound of her voice, thinking he was about to reprimanded by a teacher before realizing that he knew who the voice belonged to. He turned around slowly.

"I was about to leave, but then I got this idea for our lab, and I had to see if it would work…" He trailed off, not really wanting to go into detail. "What are you doing here? How'd you know where I was?"

"Kendall told me," she said simply. She was still standing in the doorway. She didn't want to intrude on his space, in case he told her he didn't want to see her. "I… I need to say something to you."

He finally stood up took a few steps toward her. "I thought you'd said everything you wanted to say? That was the impression I got when you refused to talk to me all week."

Camille shook her head. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and her hands were shaky, but she knew what she wanted to say. "You scared me that night, Logan. We—we've been running from our feelings for so long that I didn't know what to say to you. And then Hannah walked in and I knew she'd be upset and I just freaked out and left. I didn't know if you were really going to break up with her or not, but I knew I didn't want to be there if you didn't do it. I didn't want to wake up the next morning and have you tell me that I was right—that talking to me was a mistake."

"I wanted to tell you all week that I _did _break up with her, but you weren't returning any of my calls."

"I know. I was being stupid. And after the way I acted, I know you probably don't want to hear what I have to say, but I just had to tell you that I really do wish things worked out with us."

"Do you?" Logan was walking forward again, stopping when he was only a few steps away from her. "Because I—I poured my heart out to you the night of the party, and you just left. You took off without a word and left me standing there like an idiot. I almost went after you. Lucky for me Kendall was keeping an eye on me."

"Look, I'm not trying to justify it. I know it doesn't make up for leaving you there, I have no excuse for that. But I'm here now, and I'm… I just—"

"You what?"

"I'm trying to tell you that I want to be with you, too. It's you, Logan. It's always been you."

They both stood there for the briefest of seconds before an invisible force pulled them together. Logan wrapped an arm around Camille's waist as their lips met in passionate fervor. He pulled her body against his and her own arms slinked up his chest and around his neck, holding him in place as they kissed. Their mouths parted simultaneously, tongues playfully fighting for dominance while their hands roamed.

They finally broke away when breathing became a problem, but their limbs remained tangled and their foreheads rested against each other.

"And it's always been you for me, too," Logan whispered, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "So this is it? No more hiding, no more running away from each other?"

"No. I'm done with the drama. It's time to give us another shot. A real one."

* * *

><p><strong>All together now…. FINALLY! I'm so so so so excited to post this chapter. And, cause I can never say this enough—THANK YOU to my loyal reviewers and people who send me questions on Tumblr. You guys keep me motivated and make it worthwhile. Much love.<strong>

**Anonymous reviews are on! Tell me what you thought about everything that went down. Can't wait to see what you guys have to say.**


	24. Heart Heart Heartbreak

**A/N: Okay. Here it is. There WILL be an epilogue chapter after this one, and then we're done with Let It Roll! I'm holding the epilogue for ransom until I get some substantial reviews, muahaha. So don't forget to tell me what you thought! This one's gonna hurt some feelings...**

Chapter 24: Heart Heart Heartbreak

_Said we'd stick it out through the thick and thin  
>But when the walls came down you wouldn't let me in<br>We've been through it __**all, **__my back's against the wall  
>It's crashing down on me tonight<em>

_And we're headed for a heart-heart-heartbreak_

* * *

><p>"Kendall Knight… Carlos Garcia… and <em>Hortence<em> Mitchell."

"Don't call me that!" Logan snatched the envelope James held out for him from his hand. He moved to rip open the letter instantly but Kendall smacked his hand.

"Chill out, Loges," Kendall rolled his eyes. "You know the rules. Besides, you know perfectly well what's in there. It's the rest of us that have to be worried."

"Do not," Logan grumbled.

It was the boys' last night at the mansion before officially moving back into their old apartment at the Palm Woods; Gustavo would be back in town by the end of the week, and the boys were camped out in the game room with Anya, Michelle, Derek, and Scott. The fall semester had finally ended, and they were officially on winter break—the next time the band went back to school, it would be with Ms. Collins back at the Palm Woods. For now, however, finals were over and grades had been mailed out, so the group had gathered together, agreeing to unveil the verdicts together.

"Ladies first, right?" Scott smirked at Anya and Michelle, who both glared back at him in response.

"It's the polite thing to do," Derek joined in, grinning at his sister.

The girls knew they'd lose the battle if they argued, so they both reluctantly took out their own envelopes. Anya's looked kind of crumpled—like she'd wanted to open it already but stopped herself. She wasted no time in tearing the letter open, her eyes eagerly running down the page. Michelle was much slower, more methodical. She didn't think her grades would be _bad, _exactly_, _but she'd been more than a little distracted during final exams, and could only hope she fared okay.

"What's wrong?" It was subtle, barely noticeable, but Carlos could see the slight disappointment on Anya's face as she finished scanning the column containing her grades.

"What, did you get a single 'A minus' and ruin your chances for valedictorian next year?" Scott teased her good naturedly and tried to tug the paper from her hand.

"Worse! I got a B plus in Physics!"

"What?" Logan yelped and instantly ripped into his own envelope, ignoring Kendall when he tried to protest again. Anya was his partner; if she had gotten a B…. "Damn it! I did too."

"The horror!" Scott clapped the back of his hand to his forehead and pretended to faint. "Seriously, An, this is kind of disgusting. You too, _Hortence. _You both took seven classes this semester, with no free period or study hall, and you're freaking out over one B. Spare me."

"I got an A minus too," Anya muttered.

"Same here," Logan said, scanning his grades once more.

"In what?" Derek asked.

"Honors Pre-Cal," Anya and Logan answered simultaneously.

"You guys are killing me," James grimaced. "How'd you do, 'Chelle?" James tried reading her face, wondering if her _situation _had had any adverse effects on her grades.

She shrugged noncommittally. "Three A's, three B's."

"Me too," Derek grinned at his twin, finally looking at his own grades. "Our record holds up."

"What record?" Kendall wanted to know.

"We _always _get the exact same grades on our report cards. Our teachers always think we cheat off each other."

"Do you?" Kendall joked.

"Not enough for it to really count," Michelle remarked.

Kendall, James, Carlos, and Scott all opened their own report cards finally, not really caring much either way about what was in them, and the intrigue over grades seemed to have passed anyway. No one was mentioning it, but the fact was that everyone had the same thing on their mind: the boys were leaving West Beverly Hills and going back to their old life at the Palm Woods. Derek and Scott would lose the friend who'd helped them win the district championships for lacrosse, Anya would be left without a boyfriend _and_ a lab partner, and Michelle would have no one but her brother to lean on while she figured things out.

She still hadn't told anyone else her secret, being adamant about not saying anything to her parents or any of her other friends—not even Scott knew. She didn't even know how far along she was, exactly; she guessed about eight or nine weeks. James thought it wasn't the best way to handle it—people were going to find out eventually, and it wasn't healthy for her to just bottle everything up. But he also didn't want to pressure her into doing something she wasn't ready for—he might be the father, but he knew that no matter what, _she _was the one who was going to get judged harshly for their accident. For now he was letting her handle things the way she wanted, because he knew sooner or later they'd have to take action. The fact was, eventually they'd _both _have to step up to the plate, and he was mentally preparing himself for when that moment came.

The group of friends bantered loudly, laughing and talking late into the night, eating junk food and playing video games, watching movies and occasionally reminiscing about the semester. So much had happened, they all felt as if they'd known each other forever. It was weird to realize that it had been less than half a year, and even weirder to think that soon enough, Big Time Rush would be back on their way to conquering the pop charts instead of just four guys who were trying to navigate high school.

Predictably, Logan had been the first one to fall asleep, and one by one everyone else followed suit until James was left lying awake in his sleeping bag, staring at the ceiling and listening to the breaths and snores of everyone around him. Michelle was facing away from him a couple of feet away, her knees pulled up to her chest, and James resisted the urge to reach out and move some hair off her face.

"What are we going to do?" He hadn't meant to say it out loud; the sound of his own voice startled him. That he received a reply startled him more.

"I don't know." Michelle's voice was small, and she didn't turn to face James until he touched her shoulder. She didn't seem to want to look at him. "Are you happy? With us, I mean?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. "I'm scared shitless, actually, but I'm happy I have you."

"Multiply that scared feeling you have by about eight thousand, and you'll be where I'm at right now," Michelle said softly.

"Have you thought about telling your parents yet?"

Michelle shook her head. "I need more time. My dad just barely got over the fact that Nathan and I actually broke up. I can't think of what they'll do when I tell them this. Especially… especially because they'll assume it's his baby, and I'll have to tell them it's not…"

"Can I… can I tell mine?" James asked.

"I—Is that a good idea?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. But we need help, 'Chelle. We need something."

"I don't know, James. We haven't decided anything yet…"

"I know that. And I'm not saying I want to get them involved or anything, it's just… I don't know when I'll see them in person again, and I really don't think they'll appreciate hearing about this over the phone."

"Yeah, okay. You can tell them, I guess. I'll tell mine eventually…just… when the time is right."

"And when's that gonna be? When your stomach starts to show?" The words slipped out before he could stop them and he immediately wanted to take them back. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean—"

"Yes you did," Michelle cut him off. "I know you have all these ideas about how I need to do the right thing, okay? I'm not an idiot. I know I need to tell my parents, and see a doctor, and take better care of myself. But it's _my _body, not yours. You don't get to tell me what to do."

"I know it's your body," James hissed. "But you're not the only one this affects! This is my life, too! And the baby's, in case you forgot. You're having a _baby._"

"Do you think I don't know that?"

"You don't seem like you know it. And you certainly don't act like it."

"Okay, well how about I go get myself some ice cream and pickles and a book of baby names? Would that make you feel better?" Michelle snapped. Their discussion was getting heated and they had to fight to keep their voices low so they wouldn't wake the others.

"I just think it wouldn't hurt if you actually acknowledged the fact that you're pregnant. If you don't get help, something really bad could happen," James said gently.

"I know, okay? I know. And I promise I will, you just have to give me time to prepare myself. Please?"

"Alright," James relented. "But it has to be soon."

* * *

><p>Sometime during the night, Carlos stirred in his sleep and rolled over, blinking tiredly, wondering what had woken him up. Everyone else was still sprawled around the game room, sleeping bags and pillows and empty food wrappers littering the floor. He finally realized that Anya was no longer sleeping next to him, and he sat up and looked around the dark room, squinting through the glow of a digital clock, trying to find her. He heard the sink running from the hallway bathroom and pushed himself up off the ground, picking his way carefully through the mass of sleeping bodies, doing his best not to step on anyone.<p>

He had just reached the door to the bathroom when it opened, and Anya gasped loudly, startled at seeing him there, and he jumped back a foot in surprise. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth as if to stop any more noise from escaping her.

"What are you doing?" She whispered once her heart had stopped beating wildly. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"Sorry," Carlos whispered back sheepishly. "I just wondered you went."

"What, can't stand to be away from me for too long?" She teased.

"You know it," he said. "We have to get as much time in as we can before we go back to the Palm Woods."

Her face fell a little bit and Carlos regretted his words; he was only joking, he hadn't meant to take the lightheartedness out of their conversation. Anya opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of Scott snoring loudly from the game room.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" Carlos asked. She nodded.

Once in his room, Anya allowed herself to finally look worried.

"What's wrong?"

"It's stupid," Anya said unconvincingly, biting her lip and perching on the corner of his bed. She was wearing the same green shirt he'd given her the last time she spent the night, and she picked at the hem of it a little bit, playing with a stray piece of thread.

"It's 'cause I mentioned us moving back to the Palm Woods, isn't it?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I know it's not a big deal. It's not like you're moving out of the state, or even out of the city; it's just gonna be weird not being able to see you all the time."

Carlos gently pulled her towards him and hugged her. "We're gonna be fine," he assured her. "I'll still come to your ballet recitals, and you can visit me at the studio sometimes, _and _every time we get interviewed and they ask us about our love lives, I'll always say I have the best girlfriend in the world."

This made her laugh. "Don't do that. Then I'll have angry fangirls stalking me and sending me hate mail."

"Fine, so I won't mention your name."

"And you have to make sure that I get VIP backstage passes to all your local shows."

"Deal," he grinned.

"_And, _you have to _at least _text me every night. But a phone call is preferred."

"So demanding," he joked. "Anything else?"

"No. I think that covers it."

"Good."

He kissed the top of her head and moved to pull away, but she tugged him back to her, kissing his mouth and lacing her fingers behind his neck. Carlos smiled into the kiss, liking it when she was the one to initiate intimacy, and moved one hand to her waist, fingertips grazing over the soft shirt and moving around to her back and trailing up her spine, making her shiver.

Anya's hands trailed down his own body, stopping at his waist and yanking up on his t-shirt, finally allowing him to pull away from her just long enough to get the clothing off and dropped to the floor. Carlos sighed softly, skin burning as her hands moved back up his torso and he pressed kisses from her mouth to her jawline and finally to her neck. His tongue darted out and he moved some of her hair out of his way, biting down somewhat painfully on the area he'd just licked. She attempted to move out of his range, not really wanting to deal with the hickey she knew he was trying to give her, but he held her in place.

"I'm moving tomorrow," he winked at her. "You need something to remember me by."

She wanted to seem stern, but couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her throat, and Carlos took that as the okay to continue. He returned to her neck, sucking on her skin and slipping his hand beneath the green shirt, tracing random patterns on her back. Anya arched up closer to him, and he fumbled with the clasp on her bra briefly and she pulled it off through the sleeve of the shirt, a trick Carlos still couldn't figure out the mechanics of, but it didn't matter because either way, it was off, and he could finally touch her.

He wasted no time in moving his hand across her upper body, gently palming her breasts and running his thumb over her nipples, listening to her pant as he teased her. He easily guided her to lie back on the bed, grazing his nails lightly from her chest down her abdomen, stopping at the waistband of the black shorts she was wearing. He didn't wait for permission before tugging on them to slide them down her legs, but she wasn't giving any indications that she wanted him to stop. He dragged his hand slowly up her thigh, and she spread her legs almost involuntarily to give him better access, which he gladly took advantage of. More confidently than last time, he used his index and middle fingers to press her core, finding the spot that made her arch her back and writhe under his touch.

A light moan escaped her lips, and he could feel the thin material of her panties growing damp, which in turn made him more aware of his own bodily reactions; he forced himself to focus on her rather than on the heat that was rapidly building below his own waist. He almost grinned when she gave a muffled, gurgling sound of protest when he removed his hand from between her legs, but he bent to capture her lips with his, and clumsily pulled off his own shorts, leaving him in a pair of red boxers with reindeer all over them.

"Festive," she remarked, laughing slightly. "Christmas isn't for a few weeks though."

"Shut up," he said. "It's December, it counts."

Carlos settled himself between her legs and ground his pelvis into hers, both of them groaning at the friction to their centers. He let his hands roam her body again, gently dragging her shirt up to expose her stomach to the cool air of the bedroom, giving her goose bumps and more reason to move her body against his. Their breathing was ragged as they moved, and much too soon, Carlos felt the tension in his groin building exponentially. Rather than give in to what his body wanted, he rolled off of Anya slightly, but before she could ask why he'd stopped, he slipped his hand beneath her underwear, touching her directly now.

"_Unnghh_." Her body jolted at this new sensation, and she gripped a fistful of his hair, both moaning and biting down on her lip in an effort to control the noises she was making each time his fingertip grazed over her clit. "_Fuck, Carlos." _

Moving lower, he slowly pushed his index finger into her entrance, the warm, wet, tightness encasing him as he curled it inside her. She bucked into his hand, fingernails digging into his shoulder as he added his middle finger and quickened his pace.

"Don't stop," she panted, inhaling sharply as he pumped his fingers. Her body was trembling beneath him and her eyes were shut tight as the sensations finally overwhelmed her, and suddenly she was gasping his name, her walls clenching around his fingers as she came, a low whimper and other inarticulate sounds pushing their way past her throat.

Carlos kissed her lightly as she recovered, letting her catch her breath as the aftereffects of her orgasm washed through her. He pulled her against his side and she draped an arm over him, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder.

"Definitely something to remember you by."

* * *

><p>Walking into Roque Records after so long away from it was like waking up from a dream that still felt real, even after you opened your eyes and turned off the alarm. All the posters were still on the walls, the platinum records still hung in the studio, and the worn but comfortable furniture was still arranged exactly as they had left it. They wondered for a second if it all hadn't been a dream—that they really were waking up and the past five months had never happened at all.<p>

"Welcome back, dogs."

The boys turned around to find Gustavo and Kelly in the doorway, and they didn't hesitate to pull their old bosses into a giant group hug that not even Gustavo shied away from.

"Welcome back to you, too," Kendall grinned.

"We missed you!" Carlos exclaimed.

Gustavo raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Really?"

"Well, not the yelling and screaming, but everything else, yes," Logan said wryly.

"Especially the part where you write us songs and make us into pop stars," James added.

"Good to know the dogs haven't changed much since I've been gone," Gustavo rolled his eyes. "Let's get down to business, shall we? I already had a meeting with Griffin to talk about the plans for your album. I've been working a little while I was away, so we can start recording the few songs I have done after the new year. Griffin's marketing team thinks it would be a good idea for you guys have some songwriting credits on the album, so I'm going to give you the opportunity to look at the unfinished songs and see what you can do with them."

"Wait, after the new year? Aren't we going to get started right away?" Kendall wanted to know.

"Well, I have a lot to do for the next couple of weeks, getting settled back into my mansion and taking care of some work around here. Since you guys didn't get to go home last year, we've decided to let you fly out to Minnesota to spend time with your families for the holidays."

"Sweet!" Carlos jumped up and down excitedly. It had been way too long since they'd been able to see their families.

"So what's the plan for when we get back?" Logan asked.

"We'll work out some sort of schedule, but you're going to be busy. Since none of you are eighteen yet, you're still required to be in school at least four hours a day. You'll be in class from eight to noon and then I'll need you here in the studio at one PM sharp every day to record, meet with choreographers, work on harmonies, and do whatever interviews and photo shoots I can get for you."

"And do you have any idea about what kind of deadline Griffin's giving us to do the album?" Kendall frowned, knowing how the CEO liked to make things difficult for them.

"He says four months," Kelly started. "But you know how Griffin is. Four months could turn into two weeks with him. The best we can do is stay on our toes, work hard, and get everything done as soon as we possibly can. I'm already in contact with a few magazines who are willing to interview you guys about the hiatus and what it'll be like going back to work, etc. We have to start getting your names back out there in the public and drum up interest in you guys since you've been relatively low-key while Gustavo has been gone."

The boys all nodded along determinedly, listening to everything Gustavo and Kelly were telling them, ready to get back into the swing of things. When they left Roque Records to go back to the Palm Woods, they chattered excitedly about finally being able to work on their music again, but James was more subdued than usual.

He was excited and ready to go back to work—he missed singing and performing (hell, he even missed spending long hours at the studio)—but his life wasn't the same as it had been six months ago, before all this had happened. He wasn't just some kid with a dream anymore. He was much more than that, and it scared him. How was he supposed to be there for Michelle and focus on his career at the same time? The band and Gustavo were counting on him to put a hundred percent into the work for the second album, but he didn't know how he'd be able to give it if he was constantly going to be worried about Michelle and the baby and telling his parents he'd gotten a girl pregnant, and the field day that the tabloids would have if and when the story got out, plus he still had to actually finish high school… He was already stressed just thinking about it.

Michelle's parents were going to kill her when they found out she was pregnant, if they didn't kill James first for being the one to do it to her. And then he'd have fly home to Minnesota, where his parents would also kill him—separately, of course, since they refused to be in the same room together ever since the divorce. He could just picture their reactions now. His father would stare at him silently, rubbing his chin as if studying his son and wondering how he'd managed to raise such a colossal idiot. Then he'd sigh and stand up, walk past James without a word and pour himself a glass of Scotch from the liquor cabinet. After he finished his drink, Mr. Diamond would stand in front of James for a moment, then grab him by the shirt collar and drag him out of the study, where they would be having the conversation, and dump him unceremoniously into the hallway before slamming the door, as if unable to stand having James in his sight any longer.

His mother would be a different story. She would gasp, and most likely cry, and demand to know everything about Michelle, from how they had met to when they'd discovered her pregnancy. She would shake James a little bit, as if to assure herself that it was real, and she wasn't just having a nightmare, but then she would hug him and call him her baby boy, and she would tell him that she loved him no matter what. She would ask all the important questions like whether Michelle had seen a doctor yet, and whether they wanted to keep the baby, and if her parents were being supportive, and James would have to admit that no, they had no clue what they were doing, or how to handle any of it.

Boxes and suitcases still littered apartment 2J, and the place was in chaos as the six tenants scurried around, trying to unpack their belongings, just so that they could repack and prepare for the trip to Minnesota. James couldn't be bothered to pretend like he cared about unpacking—it would be impossible to get anything productive done anyway, what with Hurricane Carlos whirling about the bedroom they now had to share again. Instead, he just left the apartment and went down to the lobby to think. The big room was mostly empty—people had already started leaving home for the holidays—and was relatively quiet, and no one bothered James as he sat in the corner alone.

Sometime later (he didn't know how long he'd been sitting there), Kendall joined him, unable to stand Logan's incessant organizing of their bedroom any longer. The two friends didn't say anything to each other, but they didn't need to. What was there to say? Kendall could ask if James was doing okay, and James could lie and say yes, everything's fine, but they would both know it wasn't true. Or he could admit that no, everything was shit right now, his world was crashing down around him, and he didn't have any ideas on how to stop it, and what could Kendall say to that? He wouldn't have any advice for James, or be able to say anything that would make him feel better. He had no frame of reference for this situation. Hell, he and Jo had never even had sex before she went off to New Zealand, so he couldn't even imagine the mind-numbing terror James must be feeling.

"How come you never told me?" Kendall finally spoke, voicing the question that had been on his mind ever since Michelle had shown up on their doorstep and announced her pregnancy. Everyone had been stunned by the news, shocked, even, but Kendall had been the only one who was absolutely floored. Carlos and Logan and even Anya had been surprised in a different way—in an, _oh shit, how could they let this happen? _way, rather than an, _oh shit, I didn't know they were having sex _way. It hurt him to know that he had been the only one kept out of the secret—the only one James didn't trust enough to tell.

James met Kendall's eyes guiltily, remembering all the times he'd lied straight to his face, or made him feel like a bad friend for being suspicious of him, or distracted him by implying rude things about his relationship with Jo.

"I just...I wanted to pretend that we were okay, and I knew you'd tell me exactly what I didn't want to hear. That I should leave Michelle alone and look for someone who didn't already have a boyfriend. It was easier to justify what I was doing if I didn't have you calling me out for being an idiot."

"You're not an idiot, James," Kendall told him. "You just like having people _think_ you are because it lets you get away with things. That makes you one of the smartest people I know."

"But still not smart enough to realize what a mess I was making of my life. Not smart enough to see that I still need my best friends keep me in line."

"No one's perfect, Jamie. But if there's one thing I've learned since we've been out here, it's that we _all _need each other. It's not just you."

The two boys sat in silence for a few more moments before James spoke again. "I've never even held a baby," he said. "Much less taken care of one. How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to be a good dad when my own father barely even spoke to me at all when I was growing up? How am I supposed to be a good dad if we're recording and touring? What if I drop her? What if I can't change a diaper? What if she cries when I try to spend time with her?"

"She?" Kendall grinned.

James blushed. "Oh, uh… I dunno. I picture a girl for some reason."

"The fact that you're already worried about it is a sign you'll be a better dad than you think, you know," Kendall said. "At least you care. Not like my dad, who walked out on us and never looked back. Or like yours, who never tried to get to know you. And hey, it's not like you're alone. You'll always have us when you need us."

* * *

><p>Michelle sat in her room alone, mindlessly flipping through a magazine, when she heard a knock at her door.<p>

"Come in," she called out.

Derek walked in, offering her a cup of tea and making himself comfortable next to her on the bed. Michelle tossed the magazine to the ground and gathered her legs up, hugging her knees, waiting for Derek to say something, though she knew what he was probably going to say.

"I'm worried about you, you know."

"I'm fine," she responded flatly. It had been her mantra for the past three weeks. She was fine. She went to school, she took her finals, she did a photo shoot for a hairspray advertisement, everything was fine. She was tired all the time, she was throwing up nearly every morning, and she constantly felt bloated, though her stomach was still as flat as ever. But she was fine.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Derek told her bluntly. "You're not fine. You're not taking care of yourself. You need to go see a doctor. You need to tell Mom and Dad."

"I can't, Derek. Not yet." She wished everyone would stop telling her what to do. As if she somehow wasn't aware of the situation she was in.

"You've gotta deal with this somehow! Ignoring isn't gonna make it go away! I know you're scared, 'Chelle, but you can't keep it a secret forever."

"I can't deal with it!" Michelle's voice cracked. "Mom and Dad will kill me, you know that. I'm only seventeen, Derek, what am I supposed to do? What are people going to think? And Nate is going to _hate_ me. I can't do this. I don't know anything about being a parent!"

"Well, it's not like we have great role models for you to look up to," Derek sighed, thinking of their own parents. They were rarely around long enough to even pretend to show interest in their children's lives, and when they were it was usually to see how they could benefit from them. Michelle had it especially hard, even Derek would admit that. He never told her that he admired how she'd always handled the pressure from their parents; he didn't know what he'd do if their parents treated him the way they did her. Like she was a means to an end. At least they'd never tried to force _him _to get engaged. "You know—you know that you have options, right? Just because it happened doesn't mean you have to keep it. You could think about adoption…"

"I know but…"

"But what, 'Chelle? You said yourself that you can't be a mom."

She inhaled slowly, closing her eyes for a second. "It's just… James has been so good and I don't think he's considered the possibility that I might not want to keep it. And I've… I've hurt him so much, I can't stand doing it to him again." Tears pricked her eyes but she forced herself to calm down. She refused to cry, not in front of her brother.

"'Chelle… I know James is a great guy and all—"

"Yeah, I could really tell you thought that when you gave him a black eye," she interrupted. "President of his fan club."

"Excuse me, it's an older brother's right to fuck up any guy who messes with his sister," Derek poked her side and she smirked reluctantly.

"Older," Michelle snorted. "Eight minutes hardly counts as older."

"Whatever. All I'm saying is that, James, no matter how bad he wants to, might not always be there for you. And it's not like he'll do it on purpose or anything, but you can't forget who he is. He's a pop star. He'll be in the studio, doing interviews, going on tour. You can't just keep a kid because _he _wants you to. You have your whole future ahead of you too."

Michelle seemed to really think about his words. "I don't think I can do it," she whispered finally. "I know it's selfish…but I…there's so much I want to do. I want to keep modeling. I want to go to college and travel. I want to live my own life before I settle down with a family."

Derek gripped her hand. "It's not selfish. It's the right thing to do. A baby deserves a real family."

"No," she shook her head. "I mean I _can't_ do it. Any of it. I can't go through seven more months of pregnancy. I've probably already fucked this baby up!"

"How could you possibly have already fucked it up?" Derek rolled his eyes, thinking his twin was just being hysterical, not yet seeing where her thoughts were leading her.

"Before I found out… Derek, I've smoked and drank and taken God only knows in pills in the last two months."

"What? Why? You've never been that bad before," Derek stared at her, concerned. After the whole ordeal with Holly, most of their friends had cooled off on the recreational drug use. He hadn't realized his sister hadn't really given up the habit.

"I don't know… I did a photo shoot, and they kept telling me to suck my stomach in, even though I practically hadn't eaten anything in three days. Then when I saw the prints later, they had photoshopped me to look thinner. Then everything with James and Nathan was just piling up, and Dad was pissed at me for letting Nathan dump me, and I couldn't handle everything."

Michelle was shaking now, and had given up on not shedding tears in front of her brother. He hugged her gently, trying to get her to stop trembling, wishing he could say something, anything, that would comfort her. But no words came. All he could do was hold her. Derek wasn't used to seeing his sister so fragile-looking. She'd always been independent and strong, always acted like nothing bothered her. He guessed maybe he never realized exactly how much of that really _was_ just an act.

She spoke again when he didn't say anything. "I can't give a baby some crappy life with a mom who didn't want it. And I can't just ask strangers to adopt a kid whose mother was a borderline-anorexic teenager. Especially one with a drug and alcohol problem."

Derek let her cry into his shoulder, not caring about the tears that were soaking his shirt. He was relieved that she finally seemed like she was at least accepting the fact that she was pregnant. But then it struck him, what she had just implied. "Wait, 'Chelle…what are you saying?"

"I'm saying there's another option," she said almost imperceptibly. "One we haven't mentioned yet. I can't be a mother…and I can't be pregnant either. I'm not ready to do this, Derek. I don't want to…and I—I don't have to."

* * *

><p>The cars were almost loaded up and ready to go. Mrs. Knight was supervising as the boys tried to make all of their luggage fit into the vehicles Rocque Records had provided for them to get to the airport. They didn't have to leave for another couple of hours, but Mrs. Knight wanted to get things done early so they wouldn't have to stress about it at the last minute. She and Katie went back up to the apartment to make sure nothing had been forgotten, and the boys stayed in the lobby. Christmas was in a few days, and this year Bitters had actually sprung for a few decorations, putting up some tinsel and small tree, to which James had added a small dreidel ornament when he wasn't looking.<p>

Camille came down to wait with them, her own suitcase packed up tightly. Her father had already flown out a few days prior, but she had had to work and was forced to delay her own trip home. She'd be leaving shortly after the boys to make her flight to Connecticut. She sat down next to Logan on the couch, resting her legs in his lap and handing him a small box, which he rattled playfully, as if trying to figure out what was in it. Grinning, he pulled an even smaller box out of his jacket pocket.

"Oooh, presents!" Carlos leaned forward interestedly, waiting for the couple to unwrap their gifts.

"You first," Logan said, but Camille shook her head.

"Same time," she answered. "Only, don't get too excited, it's not like a big deal or anything."

"Alright," Logan agreed.

The two tore into their boxes while the others watched. Camille had gotten Logan a nice brown leather wallet, and he immediately pulled out his old one and started switching his ID and cards into the new one. Camille 'awww'ed when she opened her box. It was a silver chain with a C pendant, engraved with fine embellishments.

"Logan, it's beautiful. I love it." She lifted it carefully and handed it to him so that he could help her put it on. She held her hair out of the way, and once the clasp was secure, he pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck. She turned her head to face him to give him a proper kiss, and the other three boys grinned at them, happy that their friends had finally been able to just admit that they wanted to be together.

Carlos checked his phone for the time—Anya and Michelle were supposed to come by the Palm Woods to say goodbye, and it was nearly time for them to arrive. He figured they would come together, but a few moments later, Anya walked into the lobby by herself, looking around awkwardly as if she wasn't sure if she was in the right place. Carlos jumped up when he saw her, waving to her until she noticed him, a relieved smile on her face.

"Hey, you found it," Carlos kissed her sweetly.

"Yeah, I would've been here sooner, but I got held up with volunteering."

He led her over to where the group was sitting and she greeted everyone brightly, even offering Camille a small smile. She knew from Carlos that Camille and Logan were together now, and she was glad they were happy, in a way; she just wished it hadn't had to come at the expense of her own best friend. Hannah had been pretty upset when Logan broke up with her, and Anya couldn't help but feel a little guilty that she was becoming sort-of friends with Camille; it felt like a betrayal.

Anya stayed in the lobby with the group until Mrs. Knight and Katie came back downstairs to announce that it was time to get ready to leave for the airport. Michelle had never shown up, and while her absence hadn't gone unnoticed, no one wanted to say anything about it. James and Anya had both quietly texted her, but neither had received a response. James worried that something was amiss, and was procrastinating as much as he could, but finally Mrs. Knight had to insist that they leave because they would need a lot of time to get such a large group checked through security. Kendall clapped James on the back in a comforting kind of gesture, knowing he was upset that Michelle hadn't come to say goodbye.

The two couples kissed goodbye chastely, knowing Mrs. Knight and Katie were in the vicinity, and the group clambered into their vehicles.

James was silent through most of the check-in process and even the flight home, but everyone seemed to understand that he just needed some space right now. They knew he was mentally preparing himself for telling his parents the news about the baby. The more he thought about it, the more difficult it became. He kept imagining different scenarios, trying to find one in which they were somehow okay with it.

* * *

><p>A week and a half later, the boys once again said goodbye to their families and returned to LA. Carlos had gotten to tell his family all about his girlfriend, Logan had showed his parents his grades, making them proud by proving he could keep up with his studies, even with so many other things going on, and Kendall had been able to spend some quality time with his mom and sister.<p>

James spent the first half of the week with his mother, and the second half with his father. Their reactions to the news had been almost exactly as he'd predicted. His father had remained stoically silent while James relayed the story, sipping on his Scotch and glaring at his son before finally only asking why he hadn't been smart enough to use protection. He didn't even seem to really care—just annoyed that he would probably have to shell out money to pay for his son's mistake. Mrs. Diamond, on the other hand, had been shocked to her core, and _cried, _which actually made James tear up a little bit too, though he wouldn't admit that to anyone, not even Kendall and the other boys.

All in all, he supposed things could have been worse. He and his dad weren't close anyway, so his reaction wasn't all that surprising. As for his mother…well, she could be overbearing and stubborn, but she really did care about James, and he knew that she would do what she could to help.

As he and Carlos unpacked their suitcases and got their room back in order, he listened while Carlos talked on the phone to Anya. He'd wanted to call her as soon as the plane landed, but he refrained. They hadn't been able to speak much while Carlos had been gone, so James didn't mind that Carlos chatted while they tried to fix up their old bedroom.

"Hey, just wanted to let you know we're home...It was okay, I slept through most of the flight. Can I see you today?... Oh... No, it's fine. Is everything okay? You sound weird… Alright. Are you sure? 'Cause you can tell me… I don't know, we have to go to the studio tomorrow. Maybe later on…Oh, he is?... Yeah, I'll check with the guys. We'll probably go… Sure thing. Love you… Bye."

Carlos tossed the phone onto his bed casually.

"What was all that about?" James asked.

"She said she's got 'family stuff' today," Carlos shrugged. "But Scott's having a party tomorrow night, if we wanna go."

"That could be cool, I guess," James said. "It'll probably be our last time to hang out with everyone for a while."

The next day at the studio, Gustavo had the boys practice harmonies for hours on end. It was brutal, but they had to admit—they were rusty. They'd let their singing fall by the wayside while they were in school, and boy were they paying for it now. Each of them had to practice solo and then with the whole band, and in different combinations of twos and threes, until finally they were allowed to leave for the night, with Gustavo telling them to be prepared to pick it back up the next morning.

Logan decided to skip the party, in order to spend some time with Camille, and also to avoid Hannah, but the other boys thought they'd at least drop in for a little while. Carlos made a beeline for Anya when he saw her, and Kendall wandered off to where some of his lacrosse buddies had gathered. James settled on going to the kitchen for some water, thinking it wouldn't be a good idea to get drunk when he had to sing all day tomorrow.

He saw a few people he was friends with outside, and decided to go say hi, though he grimaced at the smell of marijuana emanating from the backyard. He pushed forward anyway, deciding not to stay out there long, but he stopped in his tracks when a blonde girl moved out of his line of sight. Michelle was there, surrounded by talking and laughing friends, holding a red cup and not even trying to shield herself from the smoky haze. She wasn't smoking herself, but she had sort of a glossy look on her face, as if she weren't really all there. Horrified and a little nauseated, James marched straight over to her, shaking people off as they tried to greet him.

"What are you _doing?" _He asked loudly, not caring that a group of people were there, listening interestedly. Carlos and Anya were outside too, and they both looked up at the sound of James' voice, which had carried over the low murmur of talking people.

She only looked mildly surprised to see him, and continued sipping on whatever was in her cup before answering him. "Hanging out with my friends," she said coolly, gesturing to the people around him, as if he hadn't noticed them there.

James snapped. He grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her to a standing position, dragging her around the side of the house, ignoring the whistles and catcalls from guys who thought they were leaving to go hook up somewhere.

"What the _fuck _is wrong with you? Are you _drinking_?" James yelled, becoming more infuriated when she merely blinked at him lazily.

"It's water, James. Chill."

"I'm not gonna _chill! _You can't just go off to parties where people are gonna be drinking and doing drugs! What are you thinking?"

"That I wouldn't have come if I knew you were going to be here," she muttered, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Are you serious right now?" James was incredulous. He couldn't form words for what he was feeling—a combination of worry and rage and disbelief and disappointment. "It's not good for you to be around all this crap right now! You should be resting, not out partying with a bunch of drunk teenagers! Don't you care about this baby at all?"

He expected that question to jolt her out of her listless behavior. He expected her to snap at him that of course she cared, for her to stand up for herself and argue with him like she always did.

She didn't.

"I went to a clinic," she said finally, staring off to the side.

"Well thank God for that, at least," James said. "Is everything okay? Is the baby alright?"

Michelle didn't say anything for a while.

"'Chelle?" Her silence was scaring him.

"The day you left… My mom came home, and she was sitting in the living room with me, talking about her trip to New York…just going on and on and not once bothering to ask how I was, or what I'd done while she was away, like it didn't matter to her whether I was even listening. When she finally even noticed me, she told me I needed to put something in my hair and get a manicure because I looked like hell. I wanted to tell her right then, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself say it, so I just got up and left."

James' heart was pounding as he listened to her story, but he didn't dare interrupt her.

Tears formed behind her eyes but she didn't let them fall yet. "I went out to this park that Derek and I used to go, and I just sat there and watched people walk their dogs and fly kites and throw Frisbees and play volleyball—teenagers, little kids, families. And it just hit me that… I'm not gonna have a normal life like that. I'm not gonna be able to just go out with my friends and play volleyball or whatever…I mean not that we play volleyball, like, ever… But all I could think about was the fact that if we keep this baby, everything would change."

"But you're not doing this alone, 'Chelle," James tried to reason with her. She shrugged his hand off when he tried to squeeze her shoulder.

"You say that now, but what about when you start recording? What about when you go on tour? What's your label gonna do when they find out you knocked up a high school girl, that their pretty-boy money-maker is just another teenage statistic? How are you gonna handle all the criticism from the tabloids?"

"None of that matters, Michelle! We'll find a way to make it work!"

"But I don't _want _to," she said softly. "I don't want to _make _it work. You have a career and a life, and I still have mine ahead of me. I can't have a baby right now."

"You—you're not making sense."

"We're both gonna have families someday. Real families when we grow up and get married, and do things the right way. We're not ready for that right now. _I'm _not ready for that right now. And deep down, you know you're not ready either."

James was letting her words wash over him, numb from what she was telling him. "You're not… you didn't…?"

"I'm not having the baby," she whispered, letting the tears fall finally.

"Y-You can't do this."

"It's done. I went to the clinic… And I had an abortion."

James squeezed his eyes shut, raising his hands to grip his hair. "Holy fuck." His breathing was shallow and his heart was racing. Michelle was hugging her body tightly, shaking as she finished her story.

"How could—why would—without even _talking _to me about it?" James couldn't form whole sentences. It had been a fleeting thought, in the back of his head, that _this _was an option, but they'd never brought it up, not once had it come up, so he just assumed that she had already ruled it out. He didn't exactly know how he would have reacted if they'd actually discussed it together…but it was too late for that now.

"Just—you have to understand—"

"No, I don't _understand, _Michelle! How could you not even tell me you were thinking about that?" He turned away from her and started to walk away, shoving his way past people and through the crowd while she followed, trying to get him to slow down.

"I had to make a choice, James!" She shrieked, drawing the attention of several people in their vicinity.

"The right choice for who? How many times do I have to tell you that you're not the only one your decisions affect?" James yelled back.

Carlos and Anya had shoved their way through the crowd that had formed a circle around James and Michelle, and Carlos tried to drag James away, to somewhere where people wouldn't be eavesdropping. He hadn't heard what they were talking about, only saw that they were causing a scene and decided to step in before things got nasty. He noticed, however, that Anya looked pale and worried as she reached out for Michelle.

James allowed Carlos to guide him back through the house and out the front door. Kendall watched as they passed, seeing the panicked look on Carlos' face, and got up to follow them out.

"What's going on?" Kendall asked, looking around at everyone once they were safely outside.

Carlos looked confused, Anya looked nervous, Michelle was still crying, and James was nearly shaking with anger.

"Michelle had an abortion," James said finally. Carlos inhaled sharply and Kendall had to work hard to keep his jaw from dropping.

"Look, I know you're mad—"

"Mad? _Mad? _I don't even want to look at you right now! I can't believe you'd be so _selfish! _God, you know what? You were right all along, weren't you? I never should have been with you in the first place! All this time I've been trying to make you understand that I'm here for you, and you just go off and do whatever the fuck you want because it's _easier!" _

"It's not up to you, James," Anya spoke up for Michelle. "I know you wanted to be there, okay? But it's not your decision to make. It's hers. It was always hers, and you have to accept that."

"You knew, didn't you?" Carlos looked kind of sick as his eyes went to Anya. "You knew this whole time and you didn't tell me."

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Carlos," Anya said.

"She knew too?" James asked. "God, Michelle, who else knows? Who else did you decide to go off and share this little bit of information with, other than me?"

"My brother," Michelle answered quietly.

"Your brother." James repeated. "Of course. Well I'm glad you could tell the people that _really matter _to you what you were feeling, because clearly I'm not one of them. All I ever did was try to be there for you and time and time again you just slap me in the face because of it! I'm _done, _Michelle. Fuck this. Fuck you."

James was holding the keys and so without another word he turned and stalked off to the car, not bothering to check that Carlos and Kendall were following. Kendall turned immediately to go with him, having nothing to add to the situation, but Carlos seemed torn. Anya was trying to comfort Michelle, who was bordering on hysterical, and she looked like she could have used some help, but he couldn't do it. He loved Anya, but (and he didn't care how it sounded, even his head) he loved James too. He too turned his back on the two girls and caught up with his friends.

* * *

><p>Logan's hands circled Camille's waist, holding her slender body in place as she planted light kisses from his jaw to his collarbone. The movie they were watching continued to play pointlessly, serving as nothing but background noise to their private party. His fingertips grazed the skin of her lower back while hers played with his hair, which was soft and free of gel for once. Her lips touched his and she had just gently slid her tongue in his mouth when they were interrupted by his phone vibrating from his pocket, which made her jump away in surprise.<p>

"Sorry," Logan grinned. "I thought it was on silent." He took his phone out and frowned down at the message on the screen.

"What is it?"

Logan showed her the text he'd received from Kendall:

_On our way back. Meet us in the apt in 10. Urgent. _

"They just left an hour ago," Camille said, confused. "Why would they be coming back already?"

"I don't know…It must be important…"

Camille climbed off his lap and smoothed her shirt out. He stood up from the couch and ran his hand through his hair, trying to tame it.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I really wanted to spend time with you tonight."

"Don't worry about it," she smiled as she walked him to the door. "Let me know if everything's okay."

"I will." Logan leaned down and kissed her again before heading down to 2J.

He only had to wait a few minutes before James and the others burst through the door. James glanced at Logan quickly with red-rimmed eyes before heading straight to his and Carlos' room and slamming the door. Logan stared at Kendall and Carlos, waiting for them to explain, but neither of them could find their voices.

"What happened? You just barely left."

Carlos opened his mouth to say something but shut it again. He inhaled slowly and retried. "Michelle… was at the party," he said, chickening out.

"Really?" Logan frowned. "She shouldn't be out at this hour. Her body needs rest and… What's the matter?" He saw the pained and shocked faces his friends were making.

"Logan…" Kendall started. "She…"

"Did something happen? Did she lose the baby?" He was starting to panic.

"No…Loges, she—Michelle had an abortion," Kendall finally spit it out.

"What?" Logan yelled, then instantly covered his mouth, his eyes wide. "When? How? I mean, I _know _how, but… how?"

"We don't know," Kendall sighed. "We should go check on James."

The boys walked softly over to the bedroom James and Carlos shared, pausing before walking through the door. With a determined look on his face, Kendall turned the knob and led the other two inside, shutting the door tightly behind them. James was lying on his bed and he didn't even look up or acknowledge his friends. He couldn't look at them. He didn't want their sympathy. He turned to face the wall, hoping they'd go away, but knowing they wouldn't.

"James…" Kendall tried, but for once their fearless leader didn't have a speech.

"Don't, Kendall…Just don't." James sat up finally, looking around at his friends.

"Look, I know that I don't know how you're feeling—"

"You really don't," James said. "So I'd really appreciate it if you guys didn't do this right now."

"Don't be like that, Jamie," Carlos said softly. "We just want to help."

"I know! But I don't think you can, Carlitos. Not with this."

"Talk to us, buddy. What happened?" Logan asked, searching James' face.

The three boys squished onto James' bed with him and he relayed the story to them, from when he'd walked outside and saw Michelle, to when Carlos had dragged him out to the front yard. No one interrupted as he spoke, and when he finished his voice cracked and he tried in vain to wipe a tear away from the corner of his eye before the others saw it. No one acknowledged it if they did.

"It's not so much that she… that she did that… I mean, it is, kind of, but I mean… she went to her brother and Anya and made the decision all on her own, without even telling me! I don't understand that."

"Us either," Kendall said quietly.

"What are you going to do?" Carlos asked.

"There's nothing _to _do," James said hopelessly. "I don't want to see her anymore. It's over. For good this time. Tomorrow we're gonna go to the studio and sing. We're gonna work on our album, we're gonna tour, and I'm gonna forget about her. I'm gonna forget we ever went to West Beverly Hills."

That night, all four boys slept on the floor in James and Carlos' room, making a giant nest out of sleeping bags, sheets, and blankets. Logan texted Camille to let her everything was gonna be okay, though he didn't reveal any details. Some things needed to stay private, he thought. At the studio the next day, James channeled everything he had into rehearsal, and even Gustavo had nothing bad to say about him.

Michelle didn't try to get in contact with him, and he was just fine with that.

Carlos was upset that Anya had known about it all along—it was why she hadn't spoken to him much while he was in Minnesota—but he understood why she kept it a secret. He supposed he would have done the same for his best friend. He couldn't really be mad at her for it. They talked about it and made up easily.

Life went back to normal for the four hockey players turned boyband. As normal as it could be, anyway.

Every so often they caught James staring off into space, wondering if he was really as okay as he seemed. They knew he probably wasn't, but they also knew that it would take time. Time heals all wounds, life goes on, and all that crap. It was cliché maybe, but it was true.

They were best friends, forever. As far as they were concerned… they had all the time in the world.


	25. Epilogue

Epilogue: Let It Roll

_Let it roll...  
>Our time is fleeting, so we take control,<br>From California to our home sweet home,  
>Our days repeating like it's all we know,<br>It's all we know._

_Take, take a breath,  
>We've got all the time in the world<br>To get a grip on the fact that we don't last  
>But right now, I wanna watch the tide roll in with my best friends.<em>

* * *

><p>Carlos and James watched with a mixture of mild fascination and disgust as Logan studied from a large book. If they didn't know any better, they would have thought that he was attempting to memorize the dictionary. Although, James thought wryly, even if Logan <em>was <em>trying to memorize the dictionary, it wouldn't have been all that surprising.

But no, it wasn't the dictionary Logan was reading. He ignored their stares, accustomed to their disbelief at his study habits, and continued to commit the list of vocabulary words to memory. The school year was coming to a close (finally) and he was studying for his SAT's, which he would be taking in one week. He was, of course, the only one of the four boys who had bothered to sign up for the test—he might have been the only one in their whole class at the Palm Woods School—but that didn't bother him one bit. His education was important to him, and that was all that really mattered. Even if he didn't get a chance to have a normal university experience, he still wanted to make sure all his bases were covered. Just in case.

As he tried to commit the subtle differences between 'melancholy,' 'despondent,' and 'dejected,' to memory, Kendall burst through the door of apartment 2J with a huge grin on his face. His hair was wet and he wasn't wearing shoes; he'd been down at the pool.

"Guys!"

"What is it, Kendall?" Logan finally looked up from his book. His eyes needed a break anyway.

"Gustavo just called me! He wants us at the studio, _now!" _

"Then why do you have such a happy look on your face?" Carlos wanted to know. Gustavo demanding their presence was rarely cause for celebration.

"You guys, it's finished! The album is done! He finished production on it!"

"What, already?" James exclaimed, jumping up from his seat at the counter.

"Yeah! It's totally done! He wants us to come in and listen to final product!"

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" Carlos was bouncing excitedly and even Logan had thrown down his book.

The boys all rushed to the door, though Kendall stopped briefly to retrieve some shoes. They ran past a confused-looking Camille through the lobby, who wondered where they were sprinting off to. Logan paused just long enough to peck her on the lips before promising to call her later.

When they arrived at Rocque Records, Gustavo and Kelly were waiting in his office. Gustavo presented them with a burned copy of their album on a blank CD. There was no cover art or fancy casing yet, but the boys didn't mind.

"Boys," Gustavo announced proudly, "Your second album is officially complete!"

"Let's listen to it!" Carlos yelled. "Come on, put it in the player!"

Kendall looked to Gustavo for the go ahead. When Gustavo nodded his head, Kendall went over to the sound system and popped the CD in. Carlos and James bobbed up and down and danced along with the music as it blared through the speakers, and even Logan couldn't resist tapping his feet along to the beats. Kendall listened intently, checking for any flaws in the production or their vocals, and found none. It was perfect. Every song sounded exactly the way he'd envisioned it in his head.

"All that's left to do is pick a title track and some album art," Kelly told them once they had listened to the whole thing. "You can take this copy of the album with you to decide, and the binder of art concepts and photoshoots you guys have done in last few months. We want your answer in three days."

"Sweet, we can take this with us?" James asked.

"You have to promise not to let it out of your sight," Kelly confirmed. "If it gets into the wrong hands and leaked onto the internet, I will kill each and every one of you myself."

"Aye aye, Captain," Carlos saluted her.

Kelly took the disc out of the stereo and handed it to Logan, trusting him to take care of the precious object. The boys played the album again in the car on the way home, and then again at the Palm Woods for Mrs. Knight and Katie. They discussed relentlessly what they should call the album—arguing for and against different title tracks for nearly two hours before Logan checked his phone for the time and jumped up to go change clothes for his date with Camille.

They'd decided to go mini-golfing on a whim, so he kept his appearance kind of casual, though he checked to make sure his hair was carefully styled. James must have been rubbing off on him. When he knocked on her apartment door, she answered it with a smile, kissing him lightly before letting him inside. He greeted her father somewhat awkwardly while he waited for Camille to hunt around for her cell phone, and finally the pair left for their date.

"Where did you guys rush off to earlier?" She asked, taking his hand as they approached the elevator.

"We had to book it to the studio," he replied. "The album is done."

"That's awesome! Congratulations!"

"Thanks. Now we just have three days to pick a title and the CD cover. I can't believe we really did it."

"But you did," she squeezed his hand. "And I know it's going to be amazing."

Logan had been planning to let Camille win on their mini-golf date, but it turned out that he didn't need to. She was actually really good. She beat him pretty effortlessly, even once he started actually competing, and then teased him mercilessly about it. As they exited the golf course, there were photographers waiting for them, and the two had to fight their way through the crowd of guys that were aiming their lenses at them. Both teens had become very recognizable in the recent months due to the success of Camille's TV show and her appearances on several other popular programs, as well as Logan and the other boys playing more shows in LA and giving interviews about their forthcoming album.

They were slightly annoyed at the flashes going off in their faces, and the occasional insulting or rude question being thrown at them, but they kept their cool and even posed for a moment in front of the car, allowing the paparazzi to get their shots so that hopefully, they'd be left alone. Their plan worked fairly well, and after they stopped for a late dinner, Logan and Camille went back to her apartment to watch a movie. Camille's father had already gone to bed, so the couple curled up on the couch together, absentmindedly letting the movie play in the background of their make-out session.

A particularly loud snore from Mr. Roberts' room jolted the pair out of their haze before they could get too carried away. The couch pillows had been knocked to the ground, and the remote control was nowhere to be found. Camille sat up and smoothed out her disheveled hair, readjusting her shirt, and Logan sheepishly re-buckled his pants, thankful he hadn't gotten _too _excited and wondering when they'd even come undone in the first place.

He made his way back to 2J with a smile on his face, thinking about how _easy _it was being in a relationship with Camille. They were almost as sickly sweet as Carlos and Anya. Almost. Camille made him realize it was okay to be a dreamer sometimes; that he didn't always have to be logical. And he was always there to balance her out when her emotions got the best of her. If he had known six months ago how happy he'd be, they could have saved themselves a ton of drama and heartache. She was still the cool girl he'd been friends with first, only now they got to make out.

In the end, he decided everything they'd been through had been worth it.

* * *

><p>"You can't leave now! We still haven't narrowed down our choices for the album title yet!" Kendall exclaimed frustratedly. "We have to give our answer tomorrow!"<p>

"But Kendall," Carlos whined, "Anya just had her last final! It's the first day of summer! I have to go see her." He pouted at the blonde boy across from him. "Please?"

Kendall opened his mouth to argue some more but James cut him off. "Aw, go ahead, Carlos. Kendall's just mad 'cause we all had dates this week and he's _still_ the last virgin standing."

"Not for long," Logan snickered from his spot on the corner of the couch. Kendall's face flushed red.

"Shut up," Kendall said automatically. "All of you. Besides, James, I don't think you can call what you and Blonde Jennifer did in the supply closet a _date,_ exactly."

"Tomato, to-mah-to," James shrugged, ignoring Carlos' giggling. "When are you gonna grow some balls and make a move with Alison?"

"Seriously, Kendall," Logan agreed. "She already told Camille she's just waiting on you. I don't see what the big deal is."

"You're one to talk," Kendall retorted. "I seem to recall _you_ practically hyperventilating at the thought of sleeping with Camille before you two actually did it."

"What? I did not!"

"You did freak out a little, Loges," Carlos pointed out.

"Yeah, well at least _I _didn't have a goofy grin on my face for a whole three days afterwards, unlike _some _people."

"Hey, hey, hey! When did this become about me?"

"You're the one who's trying to leave," Kendall reminded him.

"Oh. Right. So can I go or what?"

"Fine. But don't be mad if we end up picking the title without you!"

Carlos was already out the door.

* * *

><p>Alison Friedman had moved into the Palm Woods in early December. Kendall met her in mid-January.<p>

He had been on his way to the studio, looking down at his phone and not noticing where he was walking. He'd tripped over something and landed ungracefully on the ground, blinking around, trying to figure out what had caused his fall.

"Oh my gosh, I'm SO sorry!" Came a girl's voice to his right. "Are you okay?"

She ripped her headphones out of her ears as Kendall righted himself. Alison had been sitting on the floor against a wall, studying some music sheets, with her legs laying straight out in front of her. Kendall had tripped over her. His face flushed with embarrassment at his clumsiness.

"My fault," he replied. "Wasn't watching where I was going."

She had strawberry blonde hair that was pulled into a ponytail and bright blue eyes. She was wearing leggings and Chicago Blackhawks hoodie. She was sucking on a Ring Pop. Her nail polish was dark blue, though it was chipping at the edges. Kendall noticed all these things in the span of about two seconds.

If he believed in love at first sight, he might have called it that.

Okay, so maybe "love" was too strong a word, but for the first time in nearly a year, Kendall looked at a girl and felt something other than bland indifference. For the first time since Jo Taylor had been whisked away to New Zealand, he made eye contact with a girl and felt his heart skip a beat.

Two days after he had tripped over her in the lobby, all four boys were outside in the park. Kendall was trying to show them how to use lacrosse sticks for fun. Logan clumsily tried to toss the ball back to him, but he overshot and it flew over Kendall's head. He ran after it, squinting into the bright sunlight before once again coming face to face with the ground. This time he'd stepped in a pothole and lost his footing, landing a few yards from where she sat, once again with headphones in her ears, still studying music sheets. He groaned both from pain and embarrassment as the girl, eyes wide at what she'd witnessed, went over to check that he was okay.

Four days after _that, _he'd just bought himself a pink smoothie when Tyler, undoubtedly attempting to escape his crazily enthused stage mother, flew past him in a blur, knocking the drink from his hand. He watched in horror and shock as it splattered over Alison, who'd been in a chair a few feet away.

"We've got to stop meeting like this," she joked as he stuttered out an apology and handed her some napkins.

He asked her on a date that day.

* * *

><p>James woke up to the sunlight streaming in through the window. He glanced around momentarily, getting his bearings, before looking down at the sleeping girl next to him. Her black and red hair was fanned out over her pillow, her chest rising and falling evenly as she breathed. She still had on makeup from the night before, and the black strap of her bra was falling over her shoulder.<p>

He felt like an ass as he carefully got out of bed and put on his pants, which had been left in a crumpled heap on the floor, but the feeling didn't stop him from searching for the rest of his clothes and silently making his way out of her apartment.

The thing he liked most about Lucy was that she seemed to understand what he needed.

He wasn't looking for a relationship, and thankfully, neither was she. He didn't have it in him to give his heart away again, and she was focused on becoming the next big rocker chick. It didn't leave them a whole lot of room or desire for talking about feelings.

What it _did _leave room for was good enough for him.

Sometimes people were just lonely.

He learned quickly after moving back to the Palm Woods that he didn't have to become emotionally involved with someone to sleep with them. He bounced back and forth between Blonde Jennifer and Lucy, earning himself a reputation among the female tenants of the home of the future famous, but it didn't faze him. It didn't seem to faze the girls, either. They were both too preoccupied with their own careers to worry about who James happened to be sleeping with at any given time. Lucy simply didn't care, and Jennifer enjoyed the status that came along with being someone James associated with. Because, yes, with the hype surrounding Big Time Rush and their comeback album, the boys' popularity was at an all-time high, and James had stepped into the role of the boyband heart throb perfectly.

Logan had tried to shrink him, telling him that he was just using the two girls as a coping mechanism to forget about Michelle. As if he didn't know that. He wasn't an idiot. And he was more self-aware than people gave him credit for. Logan wanted James to commit to one girl, so he could see that not all relationships would end up like his and Michelle's. But if Logan thought that pointing out _why_ James was doing what he was doing would make him have some grand epiphany and change his ways, he was sorely mistaken.

The truth was, James knew exactly what he was doing. And maybe Logan was judging him for it, but for now he didn't care. He wasn't constantly thinking about Michelle anymore, wondering if she missed him, or if she wanted to talk to him. He wasn't replaying their entire relationship in his head, trying to figure out what he'd done to make her think she couldn't tell him about not wanting to have the baby. Slowly but surely, he was moving on, keeping his promise to focus on work and forget about the disastrous semester at West Beverly Hills. He'd meant it when he said he was going to forget about her, so who was Logan to tell him the way he went about it was wrong?

Maybe it _was _wrong. But it wasn't like he was stringing the girls along, promising them a future. He just wasn't ready to put his heart out there again. Phrases like _emotional trauma _and _sudden onset fear of commitment _floated through his head in Logan's voice as he remembered what the resident genius had offered in him in explanation of his newfound lack of emotional range. He shoved them to the back of his mind.

He was looking for a distraction, and he'd found one. Two, actually.

* * *

><p>"What are you going to tell your parents?"<p>

"I don't know! I'm not sure if I _can _tell them."

"What? You have to! This is a big deal!"

"Carlos, they'll kill me."

"No they won't," he rolled his eyes at Anya. "They're nice people."

"Sure, they're _nice,_" Anya replied. "But I've never done anything like this before. They'll think I'm throwing my life away."

"Well, I guess you have a while before you have to decide."

"I don't know… I feel like the sooner I get it taken care of, the better. Otherwise I'm just going to be a nervous wreck all the time, trying to figure out how to tell them."

"Well," Carlos said thoughtfully, "I think the best way to do it is to just spit it out. I'll go with you, if you want."

"No," Anya said quickly. "I don't want any of their excess rage spilling over on you."

"You're being dramatic."

"Alright, maybe I am."

"You are," Carlos poked her side, making her giggle.

Anya was visiting Carlos at the Palm Woods, and the two were laying out in lounge chairs by the pool.

"What's up, guys?" Camille approached them and sat down on Anya's other side, looking at them curiously, having heard part of their conversation.

"Can I tell her?" Carlos asked.

When Anya nodded, Carlos launched into the story. Anya had received her SAT scores a few days prior, and had scored in the 99th percentile (incidentally, so had Logan), which meant that with her stellar academic record and long list of extracurricular activities, she was basically a shoo-in for any university she'd want to attend after graduation next year. However, what her parents didn't know was that she had also sent in audition tapes of her dancing to several ballet companies across the country, and three of them had gotten back to her, asking her to audition in person. Being asked to meet in person was a big step for most of these companies, so if her auditions went well, it was highly likely that she could be offered a position in the corps in at least one of them.

"The thing is," Anya explained, "My parents think ballet is a hobby. Like it's just another thing I have on my resume. And at first, it was, but the longer I did it, the more I realized how much I love it. I don't think they'll be too happy if I tell them I'm thinking about forgoing university to dance. They've always thought I'd grow up to be lawyer or politician or something."

"Wow," Camille said. "That's a big decision."

"I know," Anya sighed. "And it's not like I don't want to go to college. It'd be totally awesome to get that whole university experience—live in the dorms, join a sorority and all that. But dancing for a real ballet company… that's not an opportunity that comes along every day. I have no idea what I'm going to do."

"My mom had a cow when I told her I wanted to move out here," Camille told her. "I was fourteen. She told me I'd just be chasing a dream that might never come true."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. But when she realized that this was my passion, she eventually decided to let me give it a shot. I bet your parents will be the same way. You just have to make them understand that it's your life, not theirs."

"And no matter what you decide, you know I'll be there for you," Carlos said sweetly.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe this is really happening."<p>

"Me either."

"Seriously, someone needs to pinch me."

Carlos reached over and pinched James' arm.

"Um, ow."

"It's real, James," Carlos confirmed. "We are actually attending the release party for our second album! We made it."

The boys were dressed nicely, waiting in the lobby of the Palm Woods for the limo that was being sent to bring them to Rocque Records, where Griffin was hosting a fancy party to celebrate Big Time Rush's comeback. The album would be on sale starting at midnight, and everyone was ridiculously excited, nervous, and most of all, ready for it to come out. The boys had writing credits on over half the songs on the album, and they had worked super hard over the past four or five months to make sure everything was perfect.

A lot of stuffy looking record executives were at the party, and the boys were forcibly reminded of their infamous Palm Woods 'social gathering' that had ended up being crashed by these very same people. This time, however, there were no plans to relocate.

A life-size poster of the boys hung on one wall—it was the photo they'd chosen to be the cover for the CD—along with a banner congratulating them and Gustavo on their achievement.

They had to meet and shake hands with a ton of people that night, most of whose names they forgot instantly. It might be their record release party, but they weren't stupid—this was as much a party for Griffin to show them off as it was to celebrate their hard work. Normally they'd have come up with some scheme or mischief to make the party more interesting, but they'd promised to be on their best behavior. So they pasted on smiles and shook hands with everyone they were introduced to, and thanked everyone for coming.

They dutifully took photos and did some interviews, and finally, after hours, the countdown to midnight began, led by Griffin.

"….Three…two…one! Congratulations, Big Time Rush!" Griffin held up his glass of champagne to toast the boys, and everyone in the room followed suit. Griffin announced that he would be sending the boys out on their second nationwide tour later that summer, something the boys hadn't been expecting. They all grinned at each other proudly, already excited at the prospect of hitting the road.

All four the boys' phones started vibrating and beeping with text messages from friends at the Palm Woods, from West Beverly Hills, and even from back in Minnesota to tell them that they were standing in line to buy the album or downloading from iTunes that very instant.

The end of the party was rather anticlimactic, if you asked Big Time Rush. People had, for the most part, stopped paying attention to them, opting to network with the many big-name producers, writers, and executives that were in attendance. Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James were pretty much left to their own devices. Not even Kelly was around to tell them to be sociable.

Each of the boys held a copy of their album in their hands, staring down at the cover. _All Over Again. _It was the title they'd finally chosen that they felt best represented them while they were in the process of recording and producing. It was their second chance at making an album, and after their semester away from the musician's life, they basically had to relearn everything, from getting their voices back in shape to the difficult dance choreography, to how to interact properly with paparazzi and journalists. Everything felt familiar, and yet, because of their experiences while they were away from the Palm Woods, they had new perspective. Everything felt brand new.

Suddenly, they were all itching to get out of this party. They'd played their parts, smiling for the cameras and schmoozing with executives. Now all they wanted was to celebrate their own way.

"What are the odds anyone will notice if we bail?" Kendall wondered out loud.

"Slim to none," came Logan's reply, mentally calculating the probability. Kelly was busy. Gustavo was on what was surely his eighth or ninth glass of champagne. Griffin didn't care about them anyway.

"So… let's bail," Carlos suggested, already loosening his tie.

"I'm in," James added. "We've done our jobs for the night."

The boys snuck out of the party, down the hall to the elevator, and out of Rocque Records. Kendall tossed the car keys to Logan.

"Where to?"

No one seemed to have an answer, so Logan just drove.

They ended up at the beach.

Shrugging off their jackets and kicking off their socks and shoes, the boys all walked barefoot onto the sand, watching the waves roll in towards the shore. A warm breeze blew around them, ruffling their hair. James didn't even bother to break out his lucky comb. They sat in companionable silence for who knows how long, each of them thinking about the past year and the journey they'd taken to get where they were now. Relationships, breakups, mistakes, new friends—they'd all had their individual issues to work through, but at the end of the day, they were a unit. They needed each other.

So they'd continue pushing forward. Together.

* * *

><p><strong>So, now that the final installment is up, I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has read this story. This was the first piece of fiction that I've ever started and seen through to the end, so your reviews and comments have meant the world to me.<strong>

**You all have been amazingly supportive over the last six months (has it really been that long?) and I appreciate every single one of you, whether you left one review or reviewed every single chapter. **

**As a last note, I mentioned on Tumblr earlier this week that I'm planning out what my next story is going to be! It will **_**not **_**be a sequel to Let It Roll. It is definitely still in development, so nothing will be up until after the new year probably. Just giving a heads up in case you guys are still interested in seeing what I write.**

**So once again, thanks so much to all of you. This is the last time I'm gonna ask it for Let It Roll…review please? I want to know anything and everything you thought about this chapter or the story as a whole. **


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